Should I quit my job?

[Ann.without.an.e]

I just go back and forth on this and I really don't have a clear, definitive answer.  I would love insight/input on this.

 

My boss is incredible - he's the nicest guy, he is a dad figure to me, he loves my kids, he gives me extreme flexibility. I can call him and say I don't want to come in, I have a homeschool field trip, etc and all is good.  I can come in whatever days/hours I want. I can show up 2 hours or work 20, he really doesn't care.  I typically work about 15-20 hours a week.

 

The same thing that makes him incredible is also horrible.  He works on the go and he doesn't do his end of what I need 90% of the time.  For example, I really need to balance the bank statement, but I can't because he took the check book and wrote tons of checks and I have no idea how he wants it coded in our accounting system or even who some of them were written to.   :banghead:   I have had notes on the desk for him to code them for me for three weeks and he still hasn't done it.  He will hold out paying people and I get emails begging me to please pay accounts and I have no control over it.  He is a fly by the seat of his pants kind of guy.  Suddenly he will have these great plans/ideas and he'll drop them on me and I will have to try to find a way to make it work.  After working for him for years, I (not without guilt) don't even move on it most of the time when he says "I want to do this (insert big thing) and let's move on it stat" because I know that he won't actually do his part to make it happen and he will move on and forget about it.  But I feel guilty for just blowing him off  :001_unsure:   He isn't good at creating paper trails and I am constantly just trying to piece things together or be in a holding pattern for him.  But we are close and I adore him.  I know his strengths and weaknesses.  Again, he is like a father to me.  

 

I know that my house would function so much better if I was home 100% of the time again.  I feel like I am stretched with working, homeschooling, and running kids here and there.  One kiddo will get a license soon so this will help.  He can drive himself to college DE.

 

The little extra money IS nice.  Especially if we need to start paying car insurance for a 17 year old boy  :mellow:

 

So my options are

 

1) Quit and go back home and focus on the home.  I would actually save some money in our budget doing this because I can't deal hunt as much anymore because of a lack of time.

 

2) Stay at work and just take it for what it is.  Do what I can and don't feel guilty for collecting a paycheck to be on the WTM because he hasn't shown up at the office for 3 weeks and he has everything I need in his truck.  He knows my normal hours and he can show up and I am being paid to be here and be available. I can just hang out with y'all on the WTM if there isn't anything else to do  :laugh:  

 

If it matters, I make $16/hour but I am paid as a self-employed contractor because he doesn't want employees.  So I do pay a bit more taxes on it.

 

 

Edited November 28, 2017 by Attolia

[Bambam]

I'd do a budget at home and see if we could live without the extra income. Call your insurance agent and tell him you need a good quote for car insurance with a 17 year old boy. With that info, I'd feel I'm in a better place to make a decision.

 

Now, extra questions:

Home:

1. Will 17 year old boy need his own car? If not, how will that work schedule wise if he has the car driving to DC classes and you are stuck at home with the other kids?

2. Can you pay 9th grader to do some of the house cleaning (outside of her normal chores)?

 

Work:

1. Can you pay extra to have the bank include copies of the checks that have cleared the bank? One of our banks did that routinely and it was so very helpful if someone had forgotten to enter the proper info.

2. Would he be willing to take pictures of checks and send to you? That would make the accounting portion easier.

3. When I worked, I learned that you rarely take action on the first request (except safety!), you wait for the second or third request (depending upon person, of course). Most people get ideas, request whatever without thinking it through, and then forget about it because it really wasn't a good/sound idea to start with. Saves a lot of time because waiting for the 2nd/3rd request makes sure that people are invested in the idea and committed to making it work.

 

[Ann.without.an.e]

I'd do a budget at home and see if we could live without the extra income. Call your insurance agent and tell him you need a good quote for car insurance with a 17 year old boy. With that info, I'd feel I'm in a better place to make a decision.

 

Now, extra questions:

Home:

1. Will 17 year old boy need his own car? If not, how will that work schedule wise if he has the car driving to DC classes and you are stuck at home with the other kids?

2. Can you pay 9th grader to do some of the house cleaning (outside of her normal chores)?

 

Work:

1. Can you pay extra to have the bank include copies of the checks that have cleared the bank? One of our banks did that routinely and it was so very helpful if someone had forgotten to enter the proper info.

2. Would he be willing to take pictures of checks and send to you? That would make the accounting portion easier.

3. When I worked, I learned that you rarely take action on the first request (except safety!), you wait for the second or third request (depending upon person, of course). Most people get ideas, request whatever without thinking it through, and then forget about it because it really wasn't a good/sound idea to start with. Saves a lot of time because waiting for the 2nd/3rd request makes sure that people are invested in the idea and committed to making it work.

 

 

Boy already has a car, thank the Lord.  My younger brother just bought a new vehicle, gave my dad the car back (since he bought it), and my dad passed it to DS as a birthday/Christmas gift and it is a reliable car.  Yay for that.

 

Thank you for sharing the 2nd/3rd request concept.  That makes me feel so much better <3 

 

 

 

[StephanieZ]

If you really believe you'd have more money at home if you did NOT work, and you work for money, not for glory/satisfaction/skills sharpening, then clearly you should either quit or request a raise. 

 

Given how good your relationship is, then it sounds like a great job . . . but, you have to earn enough $$ to make it worth your while. I'd suggest asking for a 50-100% raise and then working less hours. 

 

Honestly, if you're the "right hand woman" as it sounds like you are, you're probably fairly difficult to replace and your boss might much prefer to double your pay than to try to hire someone else. 

 

 

[cjzimmer1]

My bank has electronic images of all cashed checks online.  We have duplicate checks but since I carry the checkbook, sometimes I have to rip out a check to give to DH.  If he forgets the details of who/what amount, then I can just check when it is cashed.  Is it possible to get the log in information for the bank account and check online?  It won't help with the coding but at least you would know the dollar amount and the payee.

[Scarlett]

I have a job like that.  I make about the same money.  My dh has had so many health problems in the last few years that I feel more comfortable keeping it even though it stresses me out to be away from my house and not always be available for all my kids stuff.  It is a flexible job so I feel like the benefits outweigh the negatives. 

 

That being said I do not have a 3rd grader.  I have one 11th grader and one senior and they are both DE with their own license and one has his own car already.  So I am at the season of life where working again is doable even if I would prefer to be home.  

 

I am sure that was a big help.  LOL

[Ann.without.an.e]

If you really believe you'd have more money at home if you did NOT work, and you work for money, not for glory/satisfaction/skills sharpening, then clearly you should either quit or request a raise. 

 

Given how good your relationship is, then it sounds like a great job . . . but, you have to earn enough $$ to make it worth your while. I'd suggest asking for a 50-100% raise and then working less hours. 

 

Honestly, if you're the "right hand woman" as it sounds like you are, you're probably fairly difficult to replace and your boss might much prefer to double your pay than to try to hire someone else. 

 

 

I wasn't saying I would have more money total.  I was just saying that I know that I could save a little more money on some things if I were home.  Overall, the loss of income would be more than I could save in other areas.

 

I should ask for a raise.  I've been working at the same wage for years.

[Ann.without.an.e]

I have a job like that.  I make about the same money.  My dh has had so many health problems in the last few years that I feel more comfortable keeping it even though it stresses me out to be away from my house and not always be available for all my kids stuff.  It is a flexible job so I feel like the benefits outweigh the negatives. 

 

That being said I do not have a 3rd grader.  I have one 11th grader and one senior and they are both DE with their own license and one has his own car already.  So I am at the season of life where working again is doable even if I would prefer to be home.  

 

I am sure that was a big help.  LOL

 

 

3rd grader goes to the office with me so that is somewhat helpful :)

 

Actually your thoughts were helpful. Thanks 

[Scarlett]

3rd grader goes to the office with me so that is somewhat helpful :)

 

Actually your thoughts were helpful. Thanks 

 

 

Oh well if the 3rd grader goes to the office with you I am back to thinking it is a job to keep.  When I first started working for my  boss 3 1/2 years ago I was doing mostly personal stuff for him and I had my then 14 year old come with me most of the time.  Now I am in the office 2 days a week and personal stuff 1 plus days a week....and my kids are mostly self sufficient.  

[HSmomof2]

That’s a hard decision, and I can definitely see both sides. Though, I would really be hesitant to give up a job with the flexibility you have. Also, if you will want/need to work in the future, keeping this job is good for your resume. I do understand about being stretched for time as well. I work a 20 hr/week job with virtually no flexibility and a crazy boss. I’d pretty much have to be hospitalized to take time off. But, it’s the only work I’ve been able to find that has a schedule that sort of works with homeschooling, and the pay is good for a part-time job. I’m always looking for something else but have yet to find something better. That’s why I would be really cautious about giving up a very flexible job with decent pay and a boss you like. 🙂

[Scarlett]

That’s a hard decision, and I can definitely see both sides. Though, I would really be hesitant to give up a job with the flexibility you have. Also, if you will want/need to work in the future, keeping this job is good for your resume. I do understand about being stretched for time as well. I work a 20 hr/week job with virtually no flexibility and a crazy boss. I’d pretty much have to be hospitalized to take time off. But, it’s the only work I’ve been able to find that has a schedule that sort of works with homeschooling, and the pay is good for a part-time job. I’m always looking for something else but have yet to find something better. That’s why I would be really cautious about giving up a very flexible job with decent pay and a boss you like. 🙂

 

 

To the  bolded yes.  The flexibility is just so important.  Like when my dh had his knee replacement this summer.  A few weeks I needed to trade days for doc appointments and I took one whole week off.  Or when my boys need me for something.  Or my parents.  The nature of being wife and mother and daughter and DIL  (and not the primary breadwinner) is that I need to be available for the family stuff.  

[mommyoffive]

Ask for a more money for sure!  

[fraidycat]

Request a meeting with him to let him know what you need for him to do to do your job effectively.

 

Ask for a raise.

 

After those have been hashed out, Give it 3 months then re-evaluate.

[Ann.without.an.e]

Oh well if the 3rd grader goes to the office with you I am back to thinking it is a job to keep.  When I first started working for my  boss 3 1/2 years ago I was doing mostly personal stuff for him and I had my then 14 year old come with me most of the time.  Now I am in the office 2 days a week and personal stuff 1 plus days a week....and my kids are mostly self sufficient.  

 

 

That’s a hard decision, and I can definitely see both sides. Though, I would really be hesitant to give up a job with the flexibility you have. Also, if you will want/need to work in the future, keeping this job is good for your resume. I do understand about being stretched for time as well. I work a 20 hr/week job with virtually no flexibility and a crazy boss. I’d pretty much have to be hospitalized to take time off. But, it’s the only work I’ve been able to find that has a schedule that sort of works with homeschooling, and the pay is good for a part-time job. I’m always looking for something else but have yet to find something better. That’s why I would be really cautious about giving up a very flexible job with decent pay and a boss you like. 🙂

 

 

To the  bolded yes.  The flexibility is just so important.  Like when my dh had his knee replacement this summer.  A few weeks I needed to trade days for doc appointments and I took one whole week off.  Or when my boys need me for something.  Or my parents.  The nature of being wife and mother and daughter and DIL  (and not the primary breadwinner) is that I need to be available for the family stuff.  

 

 

Request a meeting with him to let him know what you need for him to do to do your job effectively.

 

Ask for a raise.

 

After those have been hashed out, Give it 3 months then re-evaluate.

 

 

 

 

Ok, so just taking the time to write out this post has forced me to really think through my life  :lol:   

 

I am just not good at sharing the workload.  Honestly, I fail at it.  My teens do so little in the home.  They share dish duty most evenings.  That's it.  DS does help mow the lawn, so that is good.  They do nothing else house related - DH or I wash, dry, fold, put away all clothes, I do every bit of cleaning except for the evening dish duty.  I think I need to keep my job and utilize my resources better.  DS wants his license and I think I can use the paying of insurance to justify/encourage a heavier workload from him.  I wonder if I can say that I will keep my job to pay for his insurance but he needs to help more around the house?  Does that seem fair? 

 

I am also thinking about putting my income into an "off budget" savings account to see what it looks like without it.  And doing like fraidycat says and giving it 3 months to evaluate.

 

ETA  It isn't that they refuse.  I just never ask.

Edited November 28, 2017 by Attolia

[Scarlett]

Ok, so just taking the time to write out this post has forced me to really think through my life  :lol:   

 

I am just not good at sharing the workload.  Honestly, I fail at it.  My teens do so little in the home.  They share dish duty most evenings.  That's it.  DS does help mow the lawn, so that is good.  They do nothing else house related - DH or I wash, dry, fold, put away all clothes, I do every bit of cleaning except for the evening dish duty.  I think I need to keep my job and utilize my resources better.  DS wants his license and I think I can use the paying of insurance to justify/encourage a heavier workload from him.  I wonder if I can say that I will keep my job to pay for his insurance but he needs to help more around the house?  Does that seem fair? 

 

I am also thinking about putting my income into an "off budget" savings account to see what it looks like without it.  And doing like fraidycat says and giving it 3 months to evaluate.

 

ETA  It isn't that they refuse.  I just never ask.

 

 

A couple of things

 

I put my money into a seperate account just to sort of keep track of it.  It usually goes for things like taxes on the house, a side of beef, or some unexpected thing.  I try to make it 'savings' but we usually end up spending it.  

 

I totally get not being good at sharing the workload.  I LOVED the days when I did everything and my house ran so smoothly.  But the truth is, the kids need to be helping regardless of the financial or work situation.  I would not even tie the insurance costs or your job to your requirement that your 17 year old pitch in and do his share to help HIS home run more smoothly.

[Ann.without.an.e]

A couple of things

 

I put my money into a seperate account just to sort of keep track of it.  It usually goes for things like taxes on the house, a side of beef, or some unexpected thing.  I try to make it 'savings' but we usually end up spending it.  

 

I totally get not being good at sharing the workload.  I LOVED the days when I did everything and my house ran so smoothly.  But the truth is, the kids need to be helping regardless of the financial or work situation.  I would not even tie the insurance costs or your job to your requirement that your 17 year old pitch in and do his share to help HIS home run more smoothly.

 

 

I opened a separate Ally online account for this reason a year or so ago but then never actually deposited anything into it beyond the first check.  I think I should be more diligent about this. 

 

You are right about the workload.  It really shouldn't be tied to the insurance.  

Edited November 28, 2017 by Attolia

[almondbutterandjelly]

Do you want your job or would you rather be at home?  What do you want to do with your time?

 

I also agree that your teens need to do more around the house, but getting them there is work, too.  So that wouldn't factor into the decision to keep your job.  Because getting them to consistently do chores will take a lot of effort from you.  It's worth it, but it's not necessarily a quick, easy thing to implement all of the sudden.

[Ann.without.an.e]

Do you want your job or would you rather be at home?  What do you want to do with your time?

 

I also agree that your teens need to do more around the house, but getting them there is work, too.  So that wouldn't factor into the decision to keep your job.  Because getting them to consistently do chores will take a lot of effort from you.  It's worth it, but it's not necessarily a quick, easy thing to implement all of the sudden.

 

 

Yes, I want both  :lol:

 

You aren't kidding me about the time it takes to train them to do things.  That IS a part time job.

[katilac]

I have had so many awful and/or crazy bosses in my life that I would cling to this job like a barnacle clings to a ship, lol. 

 

Honestly, all the negatives you listed for the job itself are par for the course, you will encounter similar obstacles and annoyances at almost any job. Possibly far worse. 

 

You make pretty good money, and the extreme flexibility is a huge plus. 

 

I absolutely get that it is super difficult to manage all your different roles, but I'd think long and hard before giving this job up. It sounds like a dream job for a homeschooling parent, tbh. If you can manage money-wise without the job, that means you can take some of the money and put it towards services to make your life easier: housecleaner, lawn person, and so on.

 

Even if you spend all or most of the money for a season, keeping the job has a lot of value. It gives you experience and references, should you ever need to get a full-time job. 

 

Now, I admit my advice is coming from a person who recently bailed on a 20-hour per week gig, but there are reasons I think the situations are different. This was a new gig for me, and it didn't take long to discover it was a toxic work environment (hence their constant turnover), there was no flexibility, and I wouldn't actually learn certain skills as promised. There were some shady aspects as well. I would never have stayed with it long-term, so it didn't seem worth making my final semester with youngest dd stressful and rushed. But I would jump on something more flexible (and less insane) in a heartbeat. 

 

I worked before kids, and free-lanced through the homeschooling years with the intent of returning. ime, and from what I've seen with others, the problems on your job are very typical and quite mild. If you quit, it should be because you simply want to stay home and can afford to do so, not because this is a bad job or because you think there are better jobs out there. Because if you are going to work, I think you are in a really good situation. 

[Ann.without.an.e]

 

 If you quit, it should be because you simply want to stay home and can afford to do so, not because this is a bad job or because you think there are better jobs out there. Because if you are going to work, I think you are in a really good situation. 

 

 

Thank you for your honest thoughts.  You are very right.

 

If I were to quit, it would not be to find a different job.  As jobs go, I have an amazing set up.  I would only quit to stay home and focus more on the home but I do think that in the long run that might not be the best decision.

[lauraw4321]

This is a job to keep. All bosses have annoying habits. You have flexibility that you will not likely find again.