Thanks for the input!

[EmilyGF]

Thanks for the help!

 

Emily

Edited October 3, 2017 by EmilyGF

[maize]

I don't think nervous breakdown is a clinical term?

 

You can be a friend by encouraging and supporting them in seeking physical and mental health care.

[EmilyGF]

Possibly. But putting everything together that is going on, I don't know how else to succinctly describe it.

Emily

[Junie]

I did a quick google search and found this healthline.com article.  Is this what you mean by nervous breakdown?  The end of the article gives a couple of ideas for self-care.

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug: for you and your friend.

 

 

 

 

[JustEm]

My friends 'nervous breakdown' ended our friendship sadly. I tried my hardest to be there for her but the way she wanted to handle it was causing my mental issues to rear their ugly heads. So I told her that maybe we can't be friends during this rough patch for because of our health issues. She tried to convince me that distances ourselves wasn't necessary and she could take the steps I asked her to take to not have it hurt me. But she couldn't actually takes those steps so I cut her off for my own sanity.

 

I'm sure that isn't what you wanted to hear but for me I couldn't help and trying only hurt me more during an already fragile time.

 

I miss her very much some times

[Heathermomster]

Yes, this has happened to two people close to me. One individual was hospitalized and placed on antidepressants. Once they were stable, they sought counseling and moved on with the support of family.

 

The other person attempted suicide with tylenol and nearly died from liver failure. She recovered by taking antidepressants and got her life in order with family support. Honestly, she moved on and her life is amazing.

 

I don't think that nervous breakdown is a medical term.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

 

 

I know at least two people who have had nervous breakdowns. They pretty much ended up more isolated and alone. Even after it all finally settled down again.

 

Much of the difficulty seemed to come from what people think those having nervous breakdowns "should" do instead of meeting them where there are actually at. It's like a roller coaster, once it starts you can only hold on and wait for it to finish. People can do all sorts of crazy stuff in middle of a breakdown, it's hard. This is just my observation.

 

If you need to distance yourself, then do so. I think most people do.

[Guest]

They are real. Your friend does need you to be in a good head space and s/he may need more than one caregiver or a different caregiver. Your friend may have previous psychiatric history and be aware of the fact that s/he does not respond well to standard meds even when s/he has trouble remembering that his/her loved one died ten years ago and not yesterday.

 

I don't know about clinical terms, but I have seen many people in crisis, some of whom required medical attention and others who did better with caring, compassionate friends and time and a safe space to process their emotions.

 

Your friend probably can't control herself right now. If she is aware of what a burden she is putting on you, she feels terrible about it. You may be the only person she trusts. This is not who she is, this is something she is going through.

 

The brain is part of the body. Think about how many times in an average day an average mentally healthy person says or thinks, "I would go crazy if one of my kids died." "I could never handle being homeless." "I would want to kill myself if my parents stopped loving me." and the like.

 

These things do happen to people. One of them may have happened to your friend. Her list of "I could never handle it if..." may be different from yours, but her feelings aren't. S/he may also have been repressing some really horrible stuff for years and just not be able to do it any more.

 

"Breakdown or breakthrough" sounds like the title of an article I must have been reading the last time it happened to one of my friends. It wasn't that long ago. S/he isn't fully recovered yet but we're still friends and I don't think any less of him/her than I would if s/he had caught a cold.

 

I don't have time for debate threads or to really explain my extremely unpopular-on-this-particular-board opinions right now, but I hope this helps anyway and am wishing your friend as speedy (but thorough) a recovery as possible under their own unique circumstances.

Edited October 3, 2017 by Guest

[EmilyGF]

Deleted.

Edited October 3, 2017 by EmilyGF

[gardenmom5]

I've known three people. One I saw coming, and tried to get her help before it got that far, but i was young and didn't push/take charge as much as I should have. (and would have today)

Another had two since I knew her.  she was very drugged up afterwards. 

 

 

nervous breakdown is not a clinical term, which depends more upon specifics - psychotic break is one.

what they are like afterwards depends upon their treatment.

 

eta: all three were hospitalized for at least a week, and placed on drugs.   one had electro-shock treatment.

Edited October 3, 2017 by gardenmom5

[G5052]

Yes, one relative multiple times. Now the professionals are more inclined to call it a "psychotic event" or use other terminology.

 

I can't stress how important it is to get professional help and watch for the warning signs on an ongoing basis. Some never have another, and for others, it's something they have to keep in mind if the daily struggles increase. Another one can usually be prevented if the individual is willing to go for help. Having the support of family and friends can make a huge difference at every stage.

[Jean in Newcastle]

The people I know who dealt with a form of "nervous breakdown" had reached the end of their ability to cope due to stress and/or depression.  Nature is what saved them.  Lots and lots of long walks and just being in nature with no talking, no demands, no stress.  If "nervous breakdown" means something else then I would suspect that they would need different things in order to cope and recover. 

[EmilyGF]

Thanks. I appreciate the replies but got what I needed.

 

Emily

[Carol in Cal.]

I've seen it.

Two things helped over time.

1.  Reduction of stressors--this required a lot of walking on eggshells by household members, and quite a bit of isolation from friends

2.  Visualization during times of great stress/anger/emotion--constructing a forest scene, reciting and picturing the 23rd psalm, that kind of thing.  

 

After a while the extreme reactions dissipated.

 

In the case I know of most closely, the patient went to a specialist but felt like all he did was listen to the list of problems, but not help with them, and that it was a waste of time.  I think that some people get relief from articulating all of this, but not all of them.  AFAIK there was no medication involved, although it may have been offered and declined.  This one some time ago, and probably things would be different now.

 

ETA:  This was a man with a lot of 'sandwich generation' family responsibilities, young children at home, and a depressed wife.  His career was more political than he was used to, and things had gotten OC in several areas at once.  It was a situational thing, which I think is quite different from a chronic one.

 

In the other case I know of most closely, someone was sinking into homelessness and really delusional, kind of scary to see.  I was only about 23 and knew her slightly, and had no idea how to handle it.  I was friendly and positive with her and tried to help her see reality when it was clear that she didn't, and I went and talked to our pastor about getting her some help--I was new to the area and didn't know very many people so I wasn't sure who else to talk to.  But I also went on vacation for a week (a rare thing for me, something I only did about every 3-5 years) and she got very angry with me because I wouldn't let her stay alone in my apartment while she was gone.  Well, she was delusional, and irresponsible, and also she smoked like a chimney and I have asthma.  I felt guilty at the time, but couldn't bring myself to do it.  I did go and bail her out of jail in the middle of the night.  The story was just crazy--she had gotten obsessed with someone in a band, convinced herself that she had had an affair with him and that he was really someone else, and kept after him so much at a local club that she was arrested.  She had an interview scheduled for the next day, and so I thought I should get up and get her out so that she could make that.  I wish that there had been wrap around services available to her.  I was not able to really help very much, just didn't have the life experience or connections to know what to do.

Edited October 3, 2017 by Carol in Cal.

[LarlaB]

Yes, have a friend of my the family who went thru this- one of my mom's best friends.  And it was pretty serious.

Nervous breakdown meaning- significant mental health crisis that rendered one unable to cope with basic life duties or responsibilities (causation: severe depression and anxiety)

 

She was hospitalized to get her stable, and then spent 1 month in an inpatient facility.  It took a long time for them to find a medication balance that worked for her and didn't render her catatonic.  It took 1 full year for her to find some semblance of being able to cope with normal life.  Since then, her life is much smaller and she has fewer people & activities in her life on a regular basis.   Due to medication, she is a very different person and dislikes medication, but realizes its needed to help keep her stable. She is a shadow of who she used to be, and that has been so hard on her husband, children and friends. And, obviously, on her.

 

My mom has struggled to find any give/take relationship now with this friend- there is little the friend can offer as all of her resources (even 10 years later) seem to be put towards staying stable- which is understandable.  

Its been heartbreaking to watch.  I can imagine the friend feels so terribly alone and marginalized- unable to fully express what it has been like for her to go thru this. Sure its hard on the support system and overtaxes relationships- but gosh, how hard it must be for her to be IN it. 

HUGS

[LarlaB]

I've had one. Honestly, I didn't want to be around anyone but dh and my mom when I was going through mine. (Well, being around ds was fine, but as far as a support system, I could only handle my husband and mom). Does she have someone close to her that she lives with who's sympathetic and a good support system? Does she actually want you to go through this with her? I had one friend I would briefly update but that was it. I didn't want to talk about it much. I had PTSD for a very long time, years, afterward and discussing it with friends has been out of the question.

 

 

Thank you for sharing this- your reply really touched me.