Book Crazy Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 Even though I've been calling my partner my hubby we are not technically married. I say he's my hubby as it sounds so much better than boyfriend, as that sounds like we are in high school. For the past 6 years we have been planning on getting married, but just never got around to it. We have finally decided that early next year we are going to. So, I'm looking for some ideas for a non-traditional, non-religious wedding. Both dh and I are atheist. It's going to be a small wedding. All of my family is in the UK and won't be attending. Not sure how many members of dh family will attend if it is not in a church. I would like to include our son in the ceremony in some way. Links and pics would be great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gandpsmommy Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 I'm not sure exactly what kind of things you are seeking advice about: the actual ceremony, location, theme, reception, etc? What kind of budget are you working with? My first thought was an outdoor wedding because I think they are so beautiful, but then I remembered that you said early next year and I'm not sure where you live, so the weather might be too cold for an outdoor ceremony. My next thought was that you could do an almost outdoor ceremony if you have some sort of indoor botannical gardens or something similar anywhere near you. We live about an hour from a botannical conservatory and they have a lot of weddings because the setting is just so picturesque and peaceful. We stayed at a beautiful hotel/resort in Nashville this year that also had indoor botannical gardens and they also host weddings. I'm not sure if you would have something like that near you or how pricey it would be? A lady at the botannical conservatory told me that they are often booked a year in advance for weekend weddings, but often have weekdays/nights available and at a more affordable rate. I'm not sure what other kinds of details you were hoping for ideas on? If it's going to be small I would recommend that you all go out to a great restaurant that you love afterwards instead of having a reception. You could always have a cake made and served at the restaurant if that is important to you. I'm not sure how old your son is, but have you asked him what he would feel comfortable doing in the wedding? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Book Crazy Posted October 13, 2008 Author Share Posted October 13, 2008 My ideal wedding would be going to Vegas and having Elvis marry us. I don't know why, but I've always wanted to do this. But, a trip to Vegas is way out of our budget. I'm looking more for ceremony ideas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gandpsmommy Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 My ideal wedding would be going to Vegas and having Elvis marry us. I don't know why, but I've always wanted to do this. But, a trip to Vegas is way out of our budget. I'm looking more for ceremony ideas. Oh, okay, I see. I'm sorry but I'm not much help with the ceremony ideas. I hope someone else chimes in who is more creative. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 Perhaps have a Mickey-mouse wedding? I'm just throwing that out there. BTW, we'd love to have a Vegas wedding too! K Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 I live in Vegas and we're planning to renew our vows with Elvis! Can you see if there's an Elvis impersonator who can perform the service? You can always do the JP thing first then just have the ceremony for fun. I'm planning on wearing a cute micro-mini 60's dress (actually, the one I was wearing when I met my hubby) and I want to do my hair and makeup really Elvis-y too. Of course, I do have the luck of living in a town where tacky and Elvis are normal. :o) You could even have everyone try to dress like Elvis or Pricilla. Your son could help with a unity candle or sing Love Me Tender or something. Oohh, I just love weddings! Have fun and HTH! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in VA Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 All these places look nice: http://www.orlandoweddinglocations.com/gallery.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
valkett Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 My father died 12 years ago and my step-mother remarried last year. She and her husband got married outdoors... dress was casual (she did wear a dress and he wore jeans, shirt & tie) and the reception was a traditional country barbeque. I was one of the most relaxing and enjoyable weddings I've attended. Val Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 A former roommate of mine got married in a small, local conservatory. It was absolutely lovely. Because it was small it was easy to get an open date. I am not sure how many you would like to invite, but if it's a smaller wedding this might work for you. Another friend of mine just got married last year. They are in Florida. They used the banquet room of a local restaurant. The ceremony was out on the porch with the ocean forming the backdrop behind them--it was absolutely beautiful. My Florida friends are atheists. They wrote their own vows. The ceremony lasted about ten minutes. They joined hands and read their vows to each other. They exchanged rings, and as they did so affirmed the rings as symbols of their lifelong commitment. Then the justice pronounced the official seal and it was all done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 If I were able to do it over without outside pressure, I would totally get one of our wackiest friends to become certified to perform our ceremony. In a case like that, the event could be held anywhere from a banquet hall to the middle of a swimming pool. :D Most of the people I know who have had their children at their wedding pretty much just had the kids stand by and look spiffy. One couple included their ds/dss in the vows, as the dh was adopting the boy. It was nice to hear him say "I do" to becoming a family. I think including a child in the vows is sweet. I have no idea what words might work in a non-adoption situation without sounding a little corny, but it's something to think about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3lilreds in NC Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 I would think in FL you could still do a beach wedding in the early part of the year. When I was in college, I went to the Gator Bowl with the marching band, and we went swimming in December in FL. It's not that cold. Our friends who got married last October got married "officially" at the Justice of the Peace, and then went to the coast somewhere up north (I forget exactly where, I think it was in NJ) and had a beautiful beach wedding. They had someone do their vows but they didn't have to be an official anything because they were already married. She wore a beautiful gown, but was barefoot. I didn't get to go but the pictures are beautiful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amanda's Mommy Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 DH and I got married by a JP on a covered bridge in NH. There was a total of 7 of us. We then went to a resaurant for lunch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiCO Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 Even though I've been calling my partner my hubby we are not technically married. I say he's my hubby as it sounds so much better than boyfriend, as that sounds like we are in high school. For the past 6 years we have been planning on getting married, but just never got around to it. We have finally decided that early next year we are going to. So, I'm looking for some ideas for a non-traditional, non-religious wedding. Both dh and I are atheist. It's going to be a small wedding. All of my family is in the UK and won't be attending. Not sure how many members of dh family will attend if it is not in a church. I would like to include our son in the ceremony in some way. Links and pics would be great. Make your wedding all about you- think of a place or an activity that you (as a couple) enjoy, and incorporate that into your wedding. Dh & I rode bikes up a mountain and got married at the top. Part of the reason was so that I could get married in bike shorts! I didn't want to do the dress thing. Most of our friends and family either rode bikes up or ran up. It was great fun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 I think you should go w/ a theme or idea that you guys love -- pick something for fun & that you would all enjoy. My sis & her dh think it's fun to renew their wedding vows, often w/ (somewhat) wacky beach weddings (they're near the beach) or w/ various Elvis impersonators (Vegas is the only place they vacation). Once, they had their friend (and vet) do their renewal vows (so he didn't need to be 'official' & they had some funny vows in there including stuff covering their pets). Here are some photos from their various renewals in case you might see any ideas that appeal: Crazy 88 Beach Wedding (from "Kill Bill" & the fact that bil & his pals do the DragonCon thing each year): Elvis Drive-Thru: Beach Wedding: Different Elvis Wedding: What about something like getting married in a hot air balloon, renting a roller skating rink & doing a disco or 80s pop theme, a pirate theme or something like that? Surely there must be Elvis impersonators in FL? Maybe could could parachute in w/ the Flying Elvises (or Elvii?) & then say your vows. :D Have fun & enjoy. Cheers to you guys! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E_Edgerton Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 We got married at the courthouse. We picked a day that was important to us, not a day that was available. No need to book the courthouse months in advance. We kept it simple. No family was there...my Dh's family is on the other coast, so we thought better to leave everyone out, than just some. We just called everyone that night to share our good news. It was the most stress-free day of my life. We lived together for 4 1/2 years prior to getting married and it was really great to go back to our place as husband and wife. We had a party about a week later for our close friends. As for including your son...I am not sure how old he is...but if he is old enough, make him your wedding photographer. He could give you in pictures, a glimpse of your day from the most important thing you and your partner (soon to be husband) have ever accomplished as a couple!:) Congrats! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 We were married at Bok Tower Garden (http://boksanctuary.org/), but the last time I looked at their website I noticed that their prices had gone up considerably since we paid $300 to use their beautiful gardens for our ceremony. I wonder if you weren't wearing an actual wedding gown and only had a couple of people if you could sneak in a quick ceremony? ;) We included my boys in the ceremony with Family Medallion necklaces (http://www.familymedallion.com/). My older son was the ring bearer, using a ring pillow I made with a woven lace top. My younger son was the "flower boy"; he carried one rose to my DH, who gave it to me to put in my bouquet. (symbolism, here! ;)) We used a bunch of different sources to write our own ceremony, and I made a beautiful cover for it in our wedding colors. My Mom got her Florida JP and performed the ceremony. My Dad & Stepfather both walked me down the "aisle". My sister was a bridesmaid. BIL was a groomsman. SIL was supposed to do a reading, but had a bunch of travel mishaps and didn't end up doing it. We had a great photographer out of Orlando, and got the most beautiful pictures. I'd be happy to PM you the ceremony script if you want a sample to go by in writing your own... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peek a Boo Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 I got married in an airplane hangar at the nose of the B-25 bomber The Yellow Rose ---back when she was part of the Confederate Air Force, and before they painted a vest and little skirt top on her ;) http://www.b-25yellowrose.com/about/default.asp Good luck finding something that will fit your style! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tibbyl Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 I interpreted your post to be inquiring about the vows and ceremony itself. Here is link to article about humanist weddings on humaniststudies.org: http://humaniststudies.org/enews/?id=285&article=5 And here is link to the Corliss Lamont book "Humanist Wedding Service" on Amazon. Our library carries the book so you might check your library first. http://www.amazon.com/Humanist-Wedding-Service-Corliss-Lamont/dp/0879750006 Dan Barker, author of "Losing Faith in Faith," co-authored his wedding vows with wife-to-be, Annie Laurie Gaylor. In next few days, I will see if I have them available. Can't seem to find them with web search. Another take on nonreligious ceremony: http://midwestatheist.blogspot.com/2007/10/non-religious-wedding-ceremony.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Book Crazy Posted October 14, 2008 Author Share Posted October 14, 2008 I interpreted your post to be inquiring about the vows and ceremony itself. Here is link to article about humanist weddings on humaniststudies.org:http://humaniststudies.org/enews/?id=285&article=5 And here is link to the Corliss Lamont book "Humanist Wedding Service" on Amazon. Our library carries the book so you might check your library first. http://www.amazon.com/Humanist-Wedding-Service-Corliss-Lamont/dp/0879750006 Dan Barker, author of "Losing Faith in Faith," co-authored his wedding vows with wife-to-be, Annie Laurie Gaylor. In next few days, I will see if I have them available. Can't seem to find them with web search. Another take on nonreligious ceremony: http://midwestatheist.blogspot.com/2007/10/non-religious-wedding-ceremony.html Thanks Tibbyl, just what I've been looking for. Off to do some reading Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Book Crazy Posted October 14, 2008 Author Share Posted October 14, 2008 I've been looking around and I have found some websites where you can become an ordained minster. Once an ordained minster you are to preform marriage ceremony. Would this be a real marriage, or would we still need to have it official signed by a JP or some one at the court house? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 I think it might be easier to just become a JP and perform the ceremony. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emeraldjoy Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 We too were together for awhile and had a child. Traditional ANYTHING just seemed too wierd, forced, and fake, to be quite honest. Where I live anyone can "marry" a couple....ANYONE....no certificates or any sort of ministreal what-have-you's. I didn;t know it right away though and thought we needed a holy person or judicial person both of which would have been far too complicated. My dad "Married" us. The legal part of the actual marriage document simply needed 2 witnesses. Noone heard our simple vows but us. We knew that the support of the people who attended our ceremony would be of utmost important to our future. We had those who wanted to talk, read a poem, sing, whatever they wanted to do to honor us...my brother wrote a poem, his grandmother read a letter, my mother gave a few lines of advice, our friends played "no woman no cry" live, our 1 year old played with the cow pies in the field. We did not have scipted lines or songs or anything, it was very laid back. Oh, I wanted "love me tender" and our dear friends performed it beautifully with trumpet, stand-up base, and guitar. It is still one of my most favorite days I have ever lived. I think we did it all for like 130 dollars too.... Congratulations and do exactley what you want to....it is certainly your day..and ever after.... Emerald Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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