hopskipjump Posted May 20, 2016 Share Posted May 20, 2016 (edited) nm Edited March 2, 2018 by hopskipjump Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted May 20, 2016 Share Posted May 20, 2016 It would be absolutely great if she sent the email. But, it isn't important and not worth pushing to get her to do it. You suggested. It was a good idea. It is completely in her court now. If she doesn't do it, there is no harm done. It sounds like it is outside her comfort zone and that is just fine. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted May 20, 2016 Share Posted May 20, 2016 My guy got the ball rolling with his fellow interns at Stanford last summer by e-mailing them. They all appreciated it - yet no one else thought to do it. Some ended up car pooling from the airport and they were able to "meet" as friends. Obviously, I think it's a good idea that would be taken well, but apparently not many (in general) think about actually doing it - or make the effort to do so. No clue how much effort you should make in trying to get her to do it. I merely had to nod my approval to my guy when he suggested it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
school17777 Posted May 20, 2016 Share Posted May 20, 2016 I think your suggestion is a good one. I am guessing that the team has a group communication set up and if the freshmen haven't been added by now, they will be shortly, and it is very encouraged for the teammates to do things together. It also shows leadership skills, if your dd is the one to initiate choosing the same orientation date. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmos Posted May 20, 2016 Share Posted May 20, 2016 I think it is a good idea, but what I think isn't really the issue. If she thinks (or comes to think) it's a good idea but is scared/hesitant/nervous to do it, I would encourage her to get over her fear. I might share with her my true, actual experiences of regret of not putting myself forward out of fear. If she truly thinks it's not a good idea, I would just drop it. As others have said, it's not a big deal either way whether this action is taken. It is a big deal deciding what kind of person you want to be and making your decisions out of fear and reaction rather than choosing your own path. (I'm not saying someone who decides not to email is deciding out of fear. What matters is how she comes to the decision.) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wapiti Posted May 20, 2016 Share Posted May 20, 2016 If she is on the fence, what might help her get over the awkward feeling: suggest a subject line and the first sentence or two of such an email. When I'm writing an email to a stranger, that seems like the most awkward part to me and I rewrite that part until I feel I've got it right. If it were my dd (and I can imagine this whole scenario happening in our house LOL), she would then say, No, that's definitely not how to write it, it should be this way... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted May 20, 2016 Share Posted May 20, 2016 I think that's a great idea, and wouldn't be considered weird. I think most students are probably too shy to do that, but would appreciate if someone else did! When my dd was assigned 3 roommates last August, she was in the same dilemma. No one else was emailing each other about it, so my dd thought it maybe wasn't proper "protocol" to do that. :) She finally did, and everyone instantly responded positively and was glad she took initiative. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luckymama Posted May 20, 2016 Share Posted May 20, 2016 If she is on the fence, what might help her get over the awkward feeling: suggest a subject line and the first sentence or two of such an email. When I'm writing an email to a stranger, that seems like the most awkward part to me and I rewrite that part until I feel I've got it right. If it were my dd (and I can imagine this whole scenario happening in our house LOL), she would then say, No, that's definitely not how to write it, it should be this way... I've done this exact thing with all 3 of my kids during their high school years. I still help youngest get started :) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MysteryJen Posted May 20, 2016 Share Posted May 20, 2016 She should definitely text/email to get things started. Dd1 who has steadfastly refused all social media is on a group text with the incoming teammates. Maybe it would be easier to text the coach and ask if there is a preferred orientation date? It is uncomfortable to be the first one asking, but it is pretty painless on email. Also, most seniors have been crazy busy in the last few weeks, it is possible no one has thought about it yet. I hassle gently until I get information. Dh hassles more explicitly. Dd1 has learned to reach out just to get us to be quiet. :) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopskipjump Posted May 20, 2016 Author Share Posted May 20, 2016 (edited) nm Edited March 2, 2018 by hopskipjump Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mckive6 Posted May 21, 2016 Share Posted May 21, 2016 My dd, fairly quiet, decided to email all 11 freshman runners on the cross-country team. I think email makes it easier for her to take that first step. She was excited to start hearing back from them last night. Now, she just has to start navigating the profiles for potential roommates. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grantmom Posted May 22, 2016 Share Posted May 22, 2016 If it were me, I would continue to try to get her to do it. I think sometimes we all just need a lot of reassurance and encouragement, in a supportive way. I wouldn't push it to the point of her getting frustrated or upset with me, but sometimes I think we just need to help them step out of their comfort zone a bit. If it doesn't happen, it's not the end of the world though, so I would choose my battles wisely. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopskipjump Posted May 23, 2016 Author Share Posted May 23, 2016 DD emailed and heard back from all of them within 24 hours. :lol: Funnily enough, while they were all very friendly and excited (lots of !!! and smiley faces...) they EACH only answered the question dd asked, specifically. Ball's back in dds court to extend the conversation further... :p The sound-byte conversations of today's teens. :001_rolleyes: 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 (edited) Maybe the next step should be to start a facebook group for just those girls. That way anything posted goes to a group instead of just to one person like an email. That takes a little bit of the pressure off. That's what DD did with her roommates, and by the time they met they knew all about each other. Plus they made a list of what they needed for the dorm apartment, and each one posted what she was bringing. Edited May 23, 2016 by Carol in Cal. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopskipjump Posted May 23, 2016 Author Share Posted May 23, 2016 (edited) nm Edited March 2, 2018 by hopskipjump 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 So this is the first kid in college in the family? Check with the admissions office--there might be a specific set of info that they send people in that position. One thing to know is that dorm beds are always extra long twin beds, so standard twin sheets don't fit them. Another is that there are cheap ways to get textbooks--that's something your DD should ask her new friends about. I don't know what they are, but buying in the college bookstore is not the only way to get books. Another is that lots of parents send mail or even care packages to their kids every month or two. That's a great way to support and delight them--seasonal stuff, homemade cookies, maybe a Starbucks gift card--those are nice to get. Another is that your child needs to manage her time very much more tightly than her schedule will imply. She should read her school books before her class gets to them, and she should plan to study, not just do homework, and learn the material at least partially on her own. This is expected at the college level. Probably you already knew all that stuff, but just in case... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom22ns Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 So this is the first kid in college in the family? Check with the admissions office--there might be a specific set of info that they send people in that position. One thing to know is that dorm beds are always extra long twin beds, so standard twin sheets don't fit them. Be really careful about saying always to anything. Dd looked at one school that still had regular twin beds for girls - yep bed type was assigned by gender! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted May 24, 2016 Share Posted May 24, 2016 Be really careful about saying always to anything. Dd looked at one school that still had regular twin beds for girls - yep bed type was assigned by gender! Wow, that is amazing. I thought they switched completely over several decades ago. Didn't see this in any of the (many) colleges we visited. Live and learn! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kareni Posted May 24, 2016 Share Posted May 24, 2016 Be really careful about saying always to anything. Dd looked at one school that still had regular twin beds for girls - yep bed type was assigned by gender! And my daughter's all women college had some rooms with regular twin beds and some with extra long twin beds. Every year was a mystery. Regards, Kareni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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