Driving...

[OneStepAtATime]

DH is pressing for DD to start practicing driving.  She says she really is not ready.  She is worried about her sequencing issues and her ability to process multiple audio sources at the same time (say in an emergency where she hears a car horn and brakes slamming and has to determine location and how to react), as well as her issues with getting distracted by visual stimulation, especially bright colors/beautiful images.  In fact, right now she is thinking she would prefer to ride a bus, take a bike or walk before ever having to learn how to drive.  We don't live in an area that is super easy to get around in without a car but there IS bus transportation.  Not the safest or the most efficient but it exists.  

 

I don't want her to limit herself, nor to I want to press her when she is really stressed about it.  I have been stalling DH for now but for the future I know he is absolutely going to expect her to start learning how to drive.  Certainly it would be good for her to at least know how.  Does anyone have any suggestions for a program or something to guide me in how to gently introduce her to driving?  We can take it slow, help her build up muscle memory and some skills for how to deal with unusual situations over time.  She intends to live at home for college, if she goes to college, so taking the bus to the local CC or Uni or me driving her is definitely a possibility.  That buys us more time.  Has anyone else dealt with something similar?  Any thoughts?

[imagine.more]

There is a paper test to check coordination and memory and such for readiness for driving. I'm not sure the details, but I was told about it in reference to my DD's driving. It might help her feel like it's a possibility if she could pass that easily and then also pass the written test for the learner's permit. 

 

Also, I will say that I personally chose not to get my permit until age 16 and got my license at 17. I was overwhelmed at the responsibility required for driving, especially because when it was assumed at our school that if you drove you gave friends rides frequently. Anyway, so I happily waited a year and felt much more prepared at 17 for driving. One thing that helped me a lot was taking a real driver's ed class with other teens, it just forced me to practice. 

 

So in your situation I'd maybe talk to your DD and DH and see if maybe she'd feel more comfortable getting her permit at 16 or 17 instead. Then let her know a permit doesn't require that she get a license in exactly a year, kwim? She can take it slow, practice in parking lots a lot, take a driver's ed class, maybe even take a defensive driving class, and of course practice in low-key ways with you and her dad. 

[OneStepAtATime]

There is a paper test to check coordination and memory and such for readiness for driving. I'm not sure the details, but I was told about it in reference to my DD's driving. It might help her feel like it's a possibility if she could pass that easily and then also pass the written test for the learner's permit. 

 

Also, I will say that I personally chose not to get my permit until age 16 and got my license at 17. I was overwhelmed at the responsibility required for driving, especially because when it was assumed at our school that if you drove you gave friends rides frequently. Anyway, so I happily waited a year and felt much more prepared at 17 for driving. One thing that helped me a lot was taking a real driver's ed class with other teens, it just forced me to practice. 

 

So in your situation I'd maybe talk to your DD and DH and see if maybe she'd feel more comfortable getting her permit at 16 or 17 instead. Then let her know a permit doesn't require that she get a license in exactly a year, kwim? She can take it slow, practice in parking lots a lot, take a driver's ed class, maybe even take a defensive driving class, and of course practice in low-key ways with you and her dad. 

Great advice.  Thank you.  

 

FWIW, even though my school still offered Driver's Ed in school and I do think it helped me I actually didn't get my license until I was about 20.  I really didn't need it before then, driving was a bit intimidating for me, we lived in a big city so there was plenty of public transportation and I wasn't being pressured by parents or peers.  My friends and I just took the Metro (D.C.) or caught rides with parents/friends if we couldn't walk or take the bus where we needed to go.

 

I will mention what you said.  I will also look for the paper test to check coordination and memory, etc.

[Pen]

Not personally, but a person I know who was a) disabled, b) late to starting driving training and freaked about it, went to a driving school that specialized in teaching people with disabilities which seems to have helped. It is what they do, and also they have the cars set up so the teacher can take control if necessary.

 

I do think it is a good idea to have her work on it gradually if you possibly can do that safely both physically and emotionally. I have a friend with a daughter who cannot drive and it has put the daughter into a position where it was one factor amongst many adding to being in a weak position with regard to an abusive husband. And she lives in city where she can use public transit, but it is still hard for many things, like getting more than a bag of groceries at a time.

 

 

My ds is eager for all driving he can get so a different emotional situation, but he has been practicing whatever he can practice on our driveway (this is legal here, don't know if it is everywhere). Maybe just learning to turn on the engine on the driveway could be a start for your dd. Maybe a bit of success at that, or a bit of slow forward and backward and stopping, would make her feel more ready to get a learners permit so that she could then practice in safe other places. For which I also favor big open parking lots as a good first place.

 

 

 

I'd tend to think that a longer time to be able to work gradually on driving with a learner's permit till full license would be better than a delay on getting learner's permit. I think some of the brain processes that go into driving are better off started earlier not later, and from what I have seen, people learning later have more ...  issues.  And I think failing a first test to try to get permit or DL while stressful, would be less so at 15 than at 20. Comparing my teen contemporaries in Calif where permit was at 15 and DL avail at 16, and for most of us a big deal to get each as right away as possible, versus New York teen contemporaries where the ages for permit and DS were later I think the NYCers had a much harder time with figuring out driving even if they had access to good places to practice it.    I wish I'd had experience with snow and ice driving as a teen, since that too I think is better learned younger than older, and in that regard, I am still a California (Southern that is) driver in a sense, and do not like winter conditions. My brother who lived in Vermont and drove there during relevant teen years handles snow and ice much better. He first did that when he thought it was great fun to "go for a spin" literally, and practiced spins and slides and recovery all over big parking lots.

Edited January 13, 2016 by Pen

[texasmama]

My ASD son will not drive at a traditional age. That is very clear to all of us. He is not comfortable with the thought of driving, either.

 

When he does drive, I will enroll him in a course to get instruction and feedback from someone other than me and dh.

 

Has she driven a golf cart? A mule (farm vehicle)? This would be a way to ease into what a driving experience would be like. My ASD son was the poorest driver of a mule at a family ranch setting last summer. Our not quite 9 year old dd did a better job of steering, adjusting speed, and making decisions behind the wheel. It was sobering but good for all of us to see.

[Arcadia]

How does she react as a passenger if she hears fire engines and ambulance sirens blaring in all directions?

 

I don't drive so I have to plan my kids outside classes schedules carefully. However I wouldn't rush into driving lessons if it is anxiety inducing.

 

My dad has driving anxiety and mostly take the bus or taxi rather than drive. My astigmatism makes it harder for me to drive after sunset when I had my learners license.

[OneStepAtATime]

Not personally, but a person I know who was a) disabled, b) late to starting driving training and freaked about it, went to a driving school that specialized in teaching people with disabilities which seems to have helped. It is what they do, and also they have the cars set up so the teacher can take control if necessary.

 

I do think it is a good idea to have her work on it gradually if you possibly can do that safely both physically and emotionally. I have a friend with a daughter who cannot drive and it has put the daughter into a position where it was one factor amongst many adding to being in a weak position with regard to an abusive husband. And she lives in city where she can use public transit, but it is still hard for many things, like getting more than a bag of groceries at a time.

 

 

My ds is eager for all driving he can get so a different emotional situation, but he has been practicing whatever he can practice on our driveway (this is legal here, don't know if it is everywhere). Maybe just learning to turn on the engine on the driveway could be a start for your dd.

Thanks for the response, Pen. :)

 

I remember when I was about 15 our next door neighbor was talking to me about the fact that she never learned to drive. She was probably late 30s or early 40s by that point. As the years wore on she said she was more and more reluctant to try but it had definitely hindered her. She missed out on certain things, including a couple of jobs, plus once they had kids she felt bad about not being able to easily get them places, she worried about what she would do in an emergency and she always felt people kind of judged her negatively if they found out she couldn't drive. She really regreted not getting it done when she was younger. I tried encouraging her to go ahead and make the attempt now but she didn't seem too confident. I doubt she ever did.

 

That conversation always stuck with me. Even though I waited, I was determined to get my DL by 21 at the outside because of that conversation.

[geodob]

Large empty carparks can be a good place to start.

Being empty, she could just focus on learning to drive the car.

[madteaparty]

Is there a reason she needs to learn to drive? It will be hard for me to push my kids to learn as soon as they are legally able because I myself did not learn until I was about 35, 2 years ago, and absolutely had to as we moved into a deeply rural area from NYC. I had lived in cities before and never needed to. But I had many opportunities to learn and just never did until I had to.

I think driving is a huge responsibility, and the later my kids learn, the better! All that stuff about teen brains and all!

[PeterPan]

I know totally NT kids with no disabilities at all who waited till they were 18.  I didn't take drivers ed till I was in GRAD SCHOOL.   ;)  My mother made ill-fated and unwise attempts to teach me when I was the legal age (15?), but at the time it wasn't really something I was wanting or pursuing.  When I took drivers ed in grad school, actually I was still a little scary, lol.  I just don't see the need to rush.

 

My dh had dd mow on a riding mower for a summer before teaching her to drive.  She's ok, very, very careful, but she wanted it, got lots of hours, and had that previous experience using the mower.

 

So I'm with the others that I would get her lower key experience and wait till she's ready or close to ready.  I think part of what you're hearing is the anxiety, and sometimes a little nudge can get through that.  Also, my dd did neurofeedback for a number of weeks this summer before she took drivers ed.  The nf seemed to take the edge off her anxiety enough that she could just chill and be ok with the process.  Our OT said she had that happen with another dc who did nf before driving as well.  She's not clinical with anxiety, but just sort of in that realm of it happens if you're 16 and have new things and stuff on your mind.  So I don't think I'd *totally* back off the idea of the driving, but maybe build up to it.  By the time she did the driving with dh and the neurofeedback, she was a lot more comfortable going into the drivers ed classes.  In our state you have to accummulate a LOT of hours, so she had a LOT of experience.  The classes I think made her more confident too, because she realized LOTS of people drive.  Sort of if they can do this, I can do this, I know the gig, I know what to watch for.  So by the time she did the actual driving with the instructor, she was ok with it and ready.  

 

I think LOTS of kids are nervous like that in that sort of normal level of things.  I think it's ok to be that way and it might not stay that way.  You can let it resolve with lots of exposures.  And, you know, driving is such a useful skill for most people, to me if there's an anxiety barrier, despite lots of this preparation over the course of a year or two) enough that she can't, but there is the physical capacity and the need, I'd be going ok, should we maybe be treating this anxiety, kwim?  But it's ok to give it time and a longer range of exposures.  You can mow for a year, start driving with dad for 6 months to a year, then more like 18 actually do drivers ed.  That can be ok.  

 

Do you think she has taken a huge confidence hit because of her challenges?  Is she on meds for the attention?  My dd isn't on meds, but she makes some pretty strict rules for herself to stay focused.  No radio.  Purse (with phone) on back seat so she's NEVER able to drive while on the phone.  NO FRIENDS in the car.  Like none, zilcho, nada, never.  These are variables we can control, kwim?  So she has her little rules and she follows them.  

 

The other thing I read, something from Guffanti (who wrote a book on ADHD), was to get them an utter rattling jallopy....  His idea was that you want them to FEEL the road!  Now, disadvantage is it can be noisy.  He's like don't give them a lexus.  That's a pretty strong contrast, lol.  Now I do like the safety features of modern cars, so if you were thinking new car, I'd still be looking for one that DOESN'T have that cushiony ride.  My dd's car is a kind of medium car that we found used, and with the age you can definitely feel the road.  You're never going over the speed limit, because when you hit the speed limit the whole car is like rattle, rattle, gonna blow apart!  Not really, but I'm just saying it really does give you that visceral feedback of the road and how you're driving.  It's not like being in some other cars where you're like heavy foot and oops I'm going a little fast...   :lol:   My dd actually has a lot of anxiety over the thought of driving other cars.  She doesn't want to drive our main cars, and we don't want her to, mercy!  And that can be kind of healthy too, like I get used to this feel and I'm growing but I don't have to do EVERYTHING right now, I can take my time and self-monitor and know my limits, kwim?  That's maturing.  I like how I see that working out in her.  Did I LIKE the first few times she drove to some farther places alone?  Absolutely not.   ;)  But it's a maturing process, where they step up their self-monitoring.  I think you can see that happening and say yes, I'm seeing what I need, this is going to be ok.  I don't think just not doing anything AT ALL helps make that happen, kwim?  It's more like a little nudge, an experience that *is* within reach, stretching to do that step, giving it time to get comfortable, then trying the next step.  

Edited January 13, 2016 by OhElizabeth

[OneStepAtATime]

My ASD son will not drive at a traditional age. That is very clear to all of us. He is not comfortable with the thought of driving, either.

 

When he does drive, I will enroll him in a course to get instruction and feedback from someone other than me and dh.

 

Has she driven a golf cart? A mule (farm vehicle)? This would be a way to ease into what a driving experience would be like. My ASD son was the poorest driver of a mule at a family ranch setting last summer. Our not quite 9 year old dd did a better job of steering, adjusting speed, and making decisions behind the wheel. It was sobering but good for all of us to see.

She has never driven a golf cart.  That would be a nice option.  We don't play golf but one of my many BILs does so maybe there would be an opportunity for that.  DD only wants me instructing her, which is causing a bit of friction with DH but DH tends to have no patience whatsoever.  I am absolutely not having him be the instructor but I must admit I am nervous about it, too.  DD and I are very close and get along well so that isn't the issue but teaching someone else to drive makes me a bit nervous.  Maybe outside instruction when we are further along would help...

 

How does she react as a passenger if she hears fire engines and ambulance sirens blaring in all directions?

 

I don't drive so I have to plan my kids outside classes schedules carefully. However I wouldn't rush into driving lessons if it is anxiety inducing.

 

My dad has driving anxiety and mostly take the bus or taxi rather than drive. My astigmatism makes it harder for me to drive after sunset when I had my learners license.

I have a pretty serious astigmatism.  In fact, without glasses it is like looking through a kaleidoscope now.  I see 4-5 of everything.  DD also has an astigmatism and wears glasses but thankfully her eyesight isn't nearly as bad as mine yet.   Hopefully never.  Driving at night is HARD.  I avoid it unless it is an extreme emergency.

 

As for how DD reacts to sounds, she listens to music with headsets as we drive.  She's been doing it for several years.  She tends to get motion sickness and the music helps.  I guess we need to start her riding around without the headsets, even before she tries getting behind the wheel.  It never occurred to me that she might be using those headsets to block out the noises because they caused anxiety or distracted her but now I wonder.  She HATES riding in a vehicle without her headsets and music. 

 

Large empty carparks can be a good place to start.

Being empty, she could just focus on learning to drive the car.

I agree.  Our church has a massive parking lot.  I have been trying to see when the place is usually empty (very active church) so when she is up to it we can start practicing there.  It is where she and her brother learned how to ride a bike (although it took her all of only one afternoon to learn to ride and her brother, bless his heart, is still working on it after 4 years).

 

Is there a reason she needs to learn to drive? It will be hard for me to push my kids to learn as soon as they are legally able because I myself did not learn until I was about 35, 2 years ago, and absolutely had to as we moved into a deeply rural area from NYC. I had lived in cities before and never needed to. But I had many opportunities to learn and just never did until I had to.

I think driving is a huge responsibility, and the later my kids learn, the better! All that stuff about teen brains and all!

Good point.  And actually, no, I don't see an immediate need to learn to drive, although I do think it will absolutely be important if she can master this later on.  This area just isn't terribly pedestrian friendly.  The main problem is DH.  He really, really wants her to learn now.  I have been stalling him and hope to help him see she really isn't ready.  Pushing her seems silly right now.  She is happy to have me drive her to meetings/events, she intends to stay home while she goes to the local CC or Uni, and she never has been influenced by any sort of peer pressure or a desire to "keep up with the Jonses" so just because some of her friends are working to get their licenses doesn't make her feel like she needs to.  He brings it up on a regular basis, though, so I thought maybe if she and I started soon but just with little baby steps it would get him to back off while giving her some valuable basic skills to build on for later.

 

Taking the bike is a good start. It will give her the opportunity to learn the traffic laws.

 

To practice with engines, people usually start with the lawnmower then go to a 4wheeler, golf cart, or go cart. That sequence builds understanding gradually.

I hadn't thought about a riding lawnmower.  We actually don't even own one because our lawn is so bizarrely shaped a weed eater does most of the work and a push mower does the rest but maybe we could practice with the neighbor's riding lawnmower.  A golf cart might also be a possibility and is another thing I had not thought of until it was mentioned on this thread.  I used to ride a 4 wheeler on the family ranch and had thought about something like that.  The ranch is 9 hours away and the 4 wheeler is toast at this point but there might be local people with one we could borrow (only on a flat surface).  Thanks for the suggestions.

 

I know totally NT kids with no disabilities at all who waited till they were 18.  I didn't take drivers ed till I was in GRAD SCHOOL.   ;)  My mother made ill-fated and unwise attempts to teach me when I was the legal age (15?), but at the time it wasn't really something I was wanting or pursuing.  When I took drivers ed in grad school, actually I was still a little scary, lol.  I just don't see the need to rush.

 

My dh had dd mow on a riding mower for a summer before teaching her to drive.  She's ok, very, very careful, but she wanted it, got lots of hours, and had that previous experience using the mower.

 

So I'm with the others that I would get her lower key experience and wait till she's ready or close to ready.  I think part of what you're hearing is the anxiety, and sometimes a little nudge can get through that.  Also, my dd did neurofeedback for a number of weeks this summer before she took drivers ed.  The nf seemed to take the edge off her anxiety enough that she could just chill and be ok with the process.  Our OT said she had that happen with another dc who did nf before driving as well.  She's not clinical with anxiety, but just sort of in that realm of it happens if you're 16 and have new things and stuff on your mind.  So I don't think I'd *totally* back off the idea of the driving, but maybe build up to it.  By the time she did the driving with dh and the neurofeedback, she was a lot more comfortable going into the drivers ed classes.  In our state you have to accummulate a LOT of hours, so she had a LOT of experience.  The classes I think made her more confident too, because she realized LOTS of people drive.  Sort of if they can do this, I can do this, I know the gig, I know what to watch for.  So by the time she did the actual driving with the instructor, she was ok with it and ready.  

 

I think LOTS of kids are nervous like that in that sort of normal level of things.  I think it's ok to be that way and it might not stay that way.  You can let it resolve with lots of exposures.  And, you know, driving is such a useful skill for most people, to me if there's an anxiety barrier, despite lots of this preparation over the course of a year or two) enough that she can't, but there is the physical capacity and the need, I'd be going ok, should we maybe be treating this anxiety, kwim?  But it's ok to give it time and a longer range of exposures.  You can mow for a year, start driving with dad for 6 months to a year, then more like 18 actually do drivers ed.  That can be ok.  

 

Do you think she has taken a huge confidence hit because of her challenges?  Is she on meds for the attention?  My dd isn't on meds, but she makes some pretty strict rules for herself to stay focused.  No radio.  Purse (with phone) on back seat so she's NEVER able to drive while on the phone.  NO FRIENDS in the car.  Like none, zilcho, nada, never.  These are variables we can control, kwim?  So she has her little rules and she follows them.  

 

The other thing I read, something from Guffanti (who wrote a book on ADHD), was to get them an utter rattling jallopy....  His idea was that you want them to FEEL the road!  Now, disadvantage is it can be noisy.  He's like don't give them a lexus.  That's a pretty strong contrast, lol.  Now I do like the safety features of modern cars, so if you were thinking new car, I'd still be looking for one that DOESN'T have that cushiony ride.  My dd's car is a kind of medium car that we found used, and with the age you can definitely feel the road.  You're never going over the speed limit, because when you hit the speed limit the whole car is like rattle, rattle, gonna blow apart!  Not really, but I'm just saying it really does give you that visceral feedback of the road and how you're driving.  It's not like being in some other cars where you're like heavy foot and oops I'm going a little fast...   :lol:   My dd actually has a lot of anxiety over the thought of driving other cars.  She doesn't want to drive our main cars, and we don't want her to, mercy!  And that can be kind of healthy too, like I get used to this feel and I'm growing but I don't have to do EVERYTHING right now, I can take my time and self-monitor and know my limits, kwim?  That's maturing.  I like how I see that working out in her.  Did I LIKE the first few times she drove to some farther places alone?  Absolutely not.   ;)  But it's a maturing process, where they step up their self-monitoring.  I think you can see that happening and say yes, I'm seeing what I need, this is going to be ok.  I don't think just not doing anything AT ALL helps make that happen, kwim?  It's more like a little nudge, an experience that *is* within reach, stretching to do that step, giving it time to get comfortable, then trying the next step.  

I like the idea of feeling the road.  DH has a newer vehicle but I have an old clunker van.  We were the third owners so it was already pretty used when we got it.  DH has been wanting me to replace it for years but I hate car payments and my van still runs.  She won't win any beauty contests at this point but she still works and she gets me where I need to go.  She also has lots of airbags :).  I was planning to have DD practice in my van once we got to that point.  She's been riding in this van most of her life so she is very familiar with it.  The kids both actually prefer to ride in my old van instead of Daddy's fancier vehicle.  Its comfortable.  I had not thought in terms of feeling the road...gonna ponder that the next time I am driving.

 

 

I REALLY appreciate the feedback everyone.  It makes me feel better about slowing this whole process down and being firmer with DH.  He has some personal issues with teenagers not getting a license, not being independent ASAP, and that is coloring his thinking.

Edited January 13, 2016 by OneStepAtATime

[PeterPan]

nt  

 

:)

Edited January 13, 2016 by OhElizabeth

[Guest2]

Using the ole' van sounds like a great plan. That is why I am keeping mine:).

 

My oldest (NT, but high strung) didn't want to drive, and I wish we had gently introduced empty parking lots a lot earlier. In hindsight, because he was so nervous, he needed MORE practice, but just lightly ramping it up over time.

 

Of course everyone’s situation is so different. It's weird to me that my DD who needed lots of VT at 16 is so much less nervous. When my kids are the drivers, they tend not to get motion sick especially in a vehicle that doesn't have a smooth ride. I guess we just need the proprioception in my family.

 

I'm not sure it would apply in your situation, but some Occupational Therapists have drivers' simulation equipment. I remember seeing a big computerized piece of equipment( rehab hospital), but it was a loooong time ago, and I was never familiar with it. I did see this

:http://occupational-...Road-Again.aspx

and this

:http://scholarworks....51&context=ojot

 

Of course, if she can use the van, you wouldn't need the simulator at all. We use google maps to plan out new locations for those of us that have poor visual spatial skills (no high traffic roads).

HTH

 

 

Edited by Silver Brook, Today, 06:25 PM. Edited again for spelling and grammar. New year's resolution is to type in word, spell and grammar check and then paste. Completely forgot!

Edited January 14, 2016 by Silver Brook

[City Mouse]

My DD had her learners permit for 2 years before she took the driving test. She has ADHD and AU like tendencies. She needed a lot of time to practice and build her confidence. Just because your DD starts practicing does not mean that there is a deadline on the other end. My DD had to have her learners permit renewed 3 times before she (and I) felt that she was ready to take the test.

[kbutton]

The Coffee Klatch radio network (maybe the Bright Not Broken show) had some great stuff on autism and driving that mentioned a computer program as well. I know you don't have ASD going, but I think the context of the actual driving program was broader than autism and it was just a heavily autism-focused podcast. Anyway, it's a simulated thing with lots of real footage of roads, styles of roads, sizes of roads, distractions, decisions, etc. I would have loved that as a teenager, though I would have wanted to start out watching someone drive and telling them how to navigate the intersections, etc., and then doing the actual simulation.

 

I didn't get my permit until I was 17. We had a lot of places to practice, but my mom was maniacally skittish, and my dad was "Hey, let's parallel park on the first try." They also both REALLY wanted me to get my license. My driver's ed teacher was even worse than my mother on the skittish thing--I have no idea why someone put him in charge of driver's ed. So, it was not a pleasant experience. Also, I was terrified to drive anywhere "big" because I didn't UNDERSTAND highways all that well. It sounds stupid, but where I am from, highways are a hodgepodge mess and far away--they are older and made in pieces over time, working with existing infrastructure. You'll have stretches of a road that are like a highway but have stoplights, sections that are two-lane, stretches with on and off ramps, and sections that went through all of those stages. It wasn't exactly a helpful blueprint. That made them seem inconsistent, and the fact that they were far away and not roads we used a lot made them overly mysterious. I also didn't have a good feel for navigation--roads tend to go with the lay of the land where I am from, rather than N, S, E, and W. Until I was probably 12 or more, I always thought we took one road to get to the mall and a totally different one to get back because the portions of the road that were highway (and the highway came and went!) had two lanes in one direction, and you couldn't see the other two lanes--they were on the other side of a gulley full of trees. I thought they were long, totally different, one-way roads. (I was totally prepared for watching for deer and herding cows with the car though, so I had that going for me, lol!) So, that hindered my sense of navigation for a while. I didn't really get comfortable with highway driving until I was in college and road with enough people that I got a feel for how a wider variety of roads worked. I did get tremendous practice with snow though--we had the snowiest winter of my life the year I learned to drive. It actually got so deep and stayed for such long periods of time that as long as other traffic wasn't around, you could experiment with breaking and turning on snow--all you'd hit is a snow bank because even the ditches were totally blocked by the banks of snow. I still do not like driving on ice--that's less common where i am from and more common where I live now. But I can if I have to.

 

Anyway, there are a lot of reasons to be apprehensive about driving, and I think as long as she's not in denial, you can work something out. Others had great ideas.

 

Oh, BTW, many, many, many people who get seriously car sick as passengers do not get car sick as drivers. Not sure why, but I think that they can anticipate the movement more because they are controlling it.. Also, I used to get more car sick than I do now, and I found that if I was driving, I had to adjust the balance of the speakers. If I was sitting in the middle of the car, the speakers could be equally loud on L and R, but if I was on one side or the other, I had to change the balance, or it made me get sick or get a headache. I don't have that trouble now (my guess is that speaker technology changed), but that might be something that helps your daughter out instead of using headphones.

[Pen]

I think where we are (and maybe in most US states?) getting a Learner's Permit is entirely based on a written or computerized (no behind the wheel) type test. Could baby steps now take the form of starting to study for getting LP?