Desert Strawberry Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 Aries is 9.5 yrs, ADHD/Aspie, 4th grade. Lawd, this child is scattered! I thought that by now, he could be maybe just a LITTLE bit independent, but apparently that is not the case. Is this kid ever going to be able to follow through on anything without me? He is generally doing well, at grade level. Much improved over the beginning of this year. But my heavens. I am having him read his lessons out loud to me while we sit together on the couch. I really just want to give him assignments and get them back finished, but that's not how this is going to be. Am I just always going to have to be this kid's task master? Will he always need someone to hold his hand? I remember being similarly frustrated with Sagg at around this same age, so maybe it's my expectations that out of whack. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 Well, I have a 10 yo, 4th grade, non-ADHD, non-ASD, no diagnosis, completely neurotypical girl, and she needs me to help her stay on track. She kind of flits around and ends up looking at the kitten or talking to a stuffed animal. If I get distracted and don't specifically tell her to start her work, she doesn't do it. Sometimes she "doesn't know what to do". When I read the instructions, it is crystal clear to both of us. She just didn't read them carefully. She can do some subjects independently, but she does still require a fair amount of steering to keep her moving in the right direction. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 We started seeing some good signs in 5th grade, but we also started ADHD meds then (ADHD and ASD here too). :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 I have a 10 year old boy, supposedly NT that is a squirrel chaser. He can eat lunch halfway and be too busy chatting with his brother to finish it. He needs me to remind him to stop talking and to keep his eyes on task. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyGF Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 I have a 10 year old boy, supposedly NT that is a squirrel chaser. He can eat lunch halfway and be too busy chatting with his brother to finish it. He needs me to remind him to stop talking and to keep his eyes on task. This is my 9-year-old daughter. :-) Emily Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arctic Bunny Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 Completely NT 9 and almost 11yos here.... My 11 year old still brings home half-eaten lunch because he didn't have time (I.e. Reading and forgot to take a bite), but is showing dramatic signs of improvement, especially compared to 3 yrs ago in grade 2 when I seriously considered hearing, vision, and ADD as possibility, but it turns out he was just 8/9. Lists and reassurance that he can take the time at the end of the day to prepare for the next were key. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 (edited) The NP told us to expect ds to be 30% behind NT kids with EF skills. At 11 he is now able to do a bit independent, last year the only thing he managed was reading(he loves reading though). He still needs me there to keep him on track with harder work- like math- sometimes he can do a bit on his own but usually that is just easier work or review. I had him do some on his own yesterday and he totally messed it up- he knew how to do it but didn't stay focused enough to do it right but I'm not near as involved as I was. In my head I've expected more independence to come around 12 and that seems like it will hold true, he has really matured a lot as of late, my dd 8.5 is still more independent then he is but she is on the other end of the spectrum. Edited January 6, 2016 by soror 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faithr Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 (edited) My oldest son is ADD and we had to help him through high school! But he went on to successfully complete college with honors, so it just takes as long as it takes! Edited January 6, 2016 by Faithr 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 My oldest son is ADD and we had to help him through high school! But he went on to successfully complete college with honors, so it just takes as long as it takes! I expect to here as well. I said I expect more independence at 12 but that doesn't mean complete independence. I expect that I will be scaffolding as much as needed, whether it is with keeping him focused, keeping and teaching him organized and helping with motivation. My husband the other day was talking about how he just needs to do his TKD or Boyscout stuff, or whatever on his own, if he really wants it he will do it. I told him no way, it is not that he doesn't want things done or won't put the work in but initiative is sometimes hard for him, as is planning what needs to be done when to get it done to stay on track. So I think it is our job to help him with those skills until he can do them on his own, whenever that is, which is hopefully by the time he moves out! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 it just takes as long as it takes! I experience equal parts terror and relief when I read that, but I know it's true. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faithr Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 I was so frustrated but at the same time I knew my son wanted to do well. He was very ambitious. It was so frustrating and discouraging for him that he just couldn't focus or figure out strategies on his own. So really the high school years were a training ground for college. Once he went away to college, he really started using the alarm on his phone a lot to remind him of things. He lives up in Cambridge now and doesn't have a car so he walks tons and tons and he absolutely needs to get outside and exercise a lot to be able to cope with dealing with life's every day details. He has some kind of app that only lets him check facebook for 15 minutes a day I think. He has to do a lot of figuring out about how to avoid distractions. He had a bad reaction to ritalin as a little boy and so he's never been able to successfully medicate. Even though that was painful at times growing up, he's happy now. Actually, so many people struggle with focus. He started this thing amongst his friends called the floating friary. LOL. He gets a group of friends together, they have to hand in their devices and then they all study/work on a schedule like monks in a monastery. They take turns fixing lunch for the group. They do this once a week and everybody loves it! It helps them all to be a group that has agreed to the terms of the floating friary. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintinative Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 Well, I have a 10 yo, 4th grade, non-ADHD, non-ASD, no diagnosis, completely neurotypical girl, and she needs me to help her stay on track. She kind of flits around and ends up looking at the kitten or talking to a stuffed animal. If I get distracted and don't specifically tell her to start her work, she doesn't do it. Sometimes she "doesn't know what to do". When I read the instructions, it is crystal clear to both of us. She just didn't read them carefully. She can do some subjects independently, but she does still require a fair amount of steering to keep her moving in the right direction. Oh my goodness. I so needed to read this today. Thank you. This totally describes my DS8. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 Not uncommon for that age in general. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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