ktgrok Posted January 1, 2016 Share Posted January 1, 2016 (edited) In a bad/sad mood. We took down the Christmas stuff today, which I was dreading. As much as I like having the extra space I'm so sad to see the Christmas stuff go. I could have waited until epiphany but the tree was starting to shed needles and honestly a few more days wouldn't make a difference. So I was sad, and am sad, about saying goodbye to the holidays. But also, this morning in bed DH and I discussed our resolutions/goals/plans for the year. I mentioned having another baby. He said no. He'd been a "strong maybe" previously, so I said that, and he denied it. Said he's always been a no. I stopped, and didn't push, because honestly it was making me sad and there was no point anyway. I can't make him want another. But we had been talking about it, and he was close to agreeing. He even jokes, when the kids are being crazy, "and you want another one??" Hearing a flat no was a surprise, and it kind of broke my heart a bit. My family is great as is. I can adjust if it really is no. But...I'm sad. And trying not to take it out on him. Blergh. I just want to go to bed now. UPDATE: DH asked why I was out of sorts. I explained that on top of being sad about Christmas stuff coming down (and that really is upsetting me) I was upset that he went from maybe to no about a baby. He said that he'd just woken up, he would have said no to anything at that point. That he doesn't know what he thinks. That he needs to see hwat happens with a possible new job, etc over the next month or so first. he is hesitant also because life is just getting better, and I want to "turn everything upside down again" but we will see what happens with jobs/money/etc. So that's better...more where I had thought we were. Given my age I can't wait much longer, but I agree we can and should discuss after he sees what happens job wise in the next month. Edited January 2, 2016 by ktgrok 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storygirl Posted January 1, 2016 Share Posted January 1, 2016 :grouphug: I'm sorry. I know what it is like to long for a baby that you cannot have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted January 1, 2016 Share Posted January 1, 2016 (edited) (Hugs) Edited January 2, 2016 by happi duck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GailV Posted January 1, 2016 Share Posted January 1, 2016 I'm sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmseB Posted January 1, 2016 Share Posted January 1, 2016 (edited) If he continued to make comments about it ("and you want another one?") I would say yes definitively every time he brought it up. Or, "yes, I'd love another just as much as I love these crazies". I wouldn't badger, but if he's saying that, I'd respond honestly and like I was hurt (because comments like that would keep the wound open for me). Sorry that you're dealing with this. I had kind of big life goal/life dream possibility taken away this year too, so I know the sad feeling of loss over something that never existed in the first place. It's hard. Edited January 1, 2016 by JodiSue 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted January 1, 2016 Author Share Posted January 1, 2016 Ugh, he just called me over to tell me a funny story. About how his friend/coworker and fiance were saying on Wednesday how they want to have a kid by the end of the year, and he was like, well...you only have a day left! Obviously then meant by the end of 2016. So I said, in a light hearted manner, trying to be brave, "see, be like coworker, you could both have kids this year. Wouldn't it be fun to do it together?" He then started telling me all about how they have a nice house, and more funds available, and it would be their first kid and I just said "Yeah, i get it. So why did you tell me this story?" And he got grumpy and said he obviously hadn't thought it through before telling me. I was actually doing well NOT focusing on it, and he had to go bring that up? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelbe5 Posted January 1, 2016 Share Posted January 1, 2016 Hugs. I understand. I was so sad when my dh said no to me about a fourth. He felt three (including our special needs son) was all we could handle. In time I was able to let go and find peace. I am sorry for your sadness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMV Posted January 1, 2016 Share Posted January 1, 2016 In a bad/sad mood. We took down the Christmas stuff today, which I was dreading. As much as I like having the extra space I'm so sad to see the Christmas stuff go. I could have waited until epiphany but the tree was starting to shed needles and honestly a few more days wouldn't make a difference. So I was sad, and am sad, about saying goodbye to the holidays. But also, this morning in bed DH and I discussed our resolutions/goals/plans for the year. I mentioned having another baby. He said no. He'd been a "strong maybe" previously, so I said that, and he denied it. Said he's always been a no. I stopped, and didn't push, because honestly it was making me sad and there was no point anyway. I can't make him want another. But we had been talking about it, and he was close to agreeing. He even jokes, when the kids are being crazy, "and you want another one??" Hearing a flat no was a surprise, and it kind of broke my heart a bit. My family is great as is. I can adjust if it really is no. But...I'm sad. And trying not to take it out on him. Blergh. I just want to go to bed now. I'm sorry. Hugs :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutTN Posted January 1, 2016 Share Posted January 1, 2016 (((Katie))) Sorry for your sad day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morningcoffee Posted January 2, 2016 Share Posted January 2, 2016 :grouphug: and hope you are feeling better now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aiden Posted January 2, 2016 Share Posted January 2, 2016 I'm sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyontheFarm Posted January 2, 2016 Share Posted January 2, 2016 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2ndGenHomeschooler Posted January 2, 2016 Share Posted January 2, 2016 I know how you feel. I've been wanting to have another baby for several years but my DH is firmly against it. I'm ok with it most of the time but sometimes it makes me really sad. I'm the oldest in my family and had my DC before most of my siblings were even married. Now they are all having babies and that makes it hard sometimes at family events. My DH is the youngest in his family but our DC are still the oldest 4 grandchildren. We're still young and I keep hoping he'll change his mind but he's so set against it right now I'm not very hopeful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted January 2, 2016 Share Posted January 2, 2016 :grouphug: Best wishes to both of you as you work this out together with the new job, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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