Mom to Aly Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 My goddaughter (19) and my dd were sitting on my front step, gd, Dy, wanted a cig, can't smoke in the house, and dd follows her around. They heard rustling sounds in the leaves to the side, thought it was an animal, then Dy saw a shape like a man, then he turned on a flashlight and shone it on them and started towards them! They started screaming and Dy grabbed a rake, and the guy ran towards the side and back of my house where there are woods. I ran out with big German Shepard/Husky dog, and told them to get inside. Dog went wild, while I was screaming, "You better run, she'll kill you, she will rip you apart, go Daisy (yes, I know, Daisy!), Kill Daisy!!". I called the police, they said they'd be right there, car is on the way. Took them 35 min to get here, in the meantime I saw a figure going around the other side of the house towards the street, Daisy is flipping out she runs with me/drags me towards him, but he gets away (don't know what I'd do anyway). The thing is--this is basically identical to something that happened to us almost 2 years ago. My ex had stopped sending child support; I called the police where he lived the day before Thanksgiving, and they told me they would go to his work and arrest him right then (not really allowed, I found out later, but they apparently didn't care, and they would have kept him over Thanksgiving). He overnighted a check to me, and the next day two guys came out of the same exact spot with a light and a camera and ran at my daughter as we were going out at night to walk our dogs. This continued, stalkers, for 7 weeks, until, finally, we got a great cop who called my ex, told him he knew it was him (I had seen him running from our yard twice) and he was going to arrest him and charge him with stalking and trespassing if it happened again. It completely stopped and never happened again. Now, my ex is not even allowed to talk on the phone with my dd due to extreme emotional and verbal abuse. He and I have had no interaction in months. He lives in CA, as far as I know, moved there in June, although he was transferred by his company--was once before, but it didn't work out and they moved him back, which he didn't tell me--I found out by accident several months afterwards by accident. I'd actually feel better if it were him; this has me scared, and my daughter is terrified. All the police could tell me was to get a good motion sensor light out there! I told him that I couldn't afford it, and he looked at me like I was a nut, and muttered something about putting a price on safety!! I said excuse me? And he said nevermind :001_huh:. Then he Oh, and, on top of that, my mom told me, about 15 min before that happened, that my brother is back in a mental hospital, much worse than before, and they put him in because they feel he is suicidal, which he has not been in more than 15 years. Very, very bad week. :( So, I'm asking my question again--when does life get easier? I'd like an exact date, please--and a time would help, to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsmamainva Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 Oh my!!! How frightening!!!! :grouphug: All this on top of the other stuff!!!! I'm sorry you've had such a hard week!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 duplicate post Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in Orlando Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 All I can say is, "Good dog, Daisy!" Hug your dd and gd, and give that dog some cookies! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reya Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 You can get a motion sensor light for under $15, BTW! Under $10, I think... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom to Aly Posted September 20, 2008 Author Share Posted September 20, 2008 Really?? I have a plug that doesn't work there, but does about 15 feet down, I can't pay to get it wired, would that be alright? Or could they just unplug it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klmama Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 Really?? I have a plug that doesn't work there, but does about 15 feet down, I can't pay to get it wired, would that be alright? Or could they just unplug it? If you don't have a friend who knows how to fix wiring, I would talk with the owner and/or manager of your local hardware store. They would probably be able to help you figure out what you need to make this work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reya Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 If you don't have a friend who knows how to fix wiring, I would talk with the owner and/or manager of your local hardware store. They would probably be able to help you figure out what you need to make this work. ACE would be your best bet for that. (They're locally owned, so the owners tend to know more.) I replaced my porch lights with motion sensor ones at my last house--partly because I hated coming home in the pitch dark and partly because of the bears! :-P It was very cheap. If you don't have something to simple replace, there are all sorts of plug-in options, and if nothing else, there's an extension cord....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tutor Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 would something like this work? It's a motion sensor that screws in at the base of a lightbulb. If you have a light by the door, maybe this would work. I'm pretty sure the Home Depot carries something similar. I hope that you find out what is going on soon and are able to stop it. Thank God for the large dog and quick-thinking gd and momma! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 If that happened to me, I would have let my dog go free and get the guy. Then I'd have gotten one of the girls to get a cast iron skillet or a baseball bat. Once the dog had the guy, I would have hit the guy hard until he was not conscious. If help had still not arrived, I would tie the guy up. I would not feel one bit bad about doing that, either. You have to have a plan to defend yourself, especially since the police response is not quick, and even if it were, it might not be quick enough. This is my plan if that ever happens to us, since we don't own a gun. Hopefully my dog would cooperate and take the guy down. If not, I live in a neighborhood and I hope some of the neighbors would come out and help me. I'm glad you all are safe tonight. RC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom to Aly Posted September 20, 2008 Author Share Posted September 20, 2008 I was wondering about that--my dog is one that thinks it is great fun to run and bound, very quickly, around our neighborhood and out in the street anytime she gets loose--I triggered my worst prob with my lung disease the last time she got out and I tried to chase her. I could not catch her, someone else did. If she didn't get the guy, and got out, we live a few short blocks from a really busy street, then a highway, and I am sure she wouldn't make it, especially at night, so I can't let her go. I used to keep a tennis racket with me for safety when I was younger--I'm not great with a bat, but played tennis for years, and have a great swing. When this happened before, I would take bug spray out with me--I figured it could deter anyone I could spray with it. Any other suggestions? & I'm still looking for that getting easier date--and don't forget the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 The problem is that if you get close enough to a bad guy to spray him, you are probably close enough for him to overpower you. I sympathize about the dog problem -- similar situation here with the roads, but I plan to get the guy if that happens, and my dog is crucial to the plan. Unfortunately, Collies are not guard dogs, so I'm not sure Teddy would cooperate with my sic 'em plan. For all I know, he wouldn't do anything except circle the guy and try to keep him in one spot, without drawing blood. Mind you, we've never had a hint of a bad guy problem, so my plan is untested. You can kill someone with a bat, but I've never heard of anyone being seriously injured by a tennis racket. But if it works, more power to you. It seems to me, though, that the handle is too short for it to be effective. A bat's swing, OTOH, is something any rational person would avoid coming into contact with. But even a bat can be grabbed if the bad guy is eager to defend himself and the swing is not hard and fast enough to avoid that problem. RC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom to Aly Posted September 21, 2008 Author Share Posted September 21, 2008 We went out tonight for two hours, came home, and the one light we did have on the other side of our house was broken. We had a rake that was sitting outside that was missing (the police found it later, thrown by the far side of our house) and they said, considering it is the weekend, and that teenagers party, and we have a kind of biggish road behind us, over a little hill, he would guess it was that. I'm trying to convince myself that's what it is. Any opinions? My daughter is terrified, and doesn't even want me to take the dogs potty in our own front yard--oh, and Daisy sniffed all around our front door, next to where the light was, and the walkway and yard, growling and then barking. Thanks for any help here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 No help, but I think the police in your area are less than competent. It doesn't sound like teenagers to me. Bug spray isn't a bad idea. Get the wasp spray that can spray up to 25 feet, and make sure you keep a phone w/ you when you go outside w/ the dog. Oh, and my dd would be sleeping w/ me, because we'd both feel safer that way. Hugs to both of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy loves Bud Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 We went out tonight for two hours, came home, and the one light we did have on the other side of our house was broken. We had a rake that was sitting outside that was missing (the police found it later, thrown by the far side of our house) and they said, considering it is the weekend, and that teenagers party, and we have a kind of biggish road behind us, over a little hill, he would guess it was that. I'm trying to convince myself that's what it is. Any opinions? My daughter is terrified, and doesn't even want me to take the dogs potty in our own front yard--oh, and Daisy sniffed all around our front door, next to where the light was, and the walkway and yard, growling and then barking. Thanks for any help here. :grouphug::grouphug: I'm a big chicken anyway, so I'm so sorry you're dealing with such nonsense. Keep a phone with you and try to stay inside. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom to Aly Posted September 21, 2008 Author Share Posted September 21, 2008 No help, but I think the police in your area are less than competent. It doesn't sound like teenagers to me. Bug spray isn't a bad idea. Get the wasp spray that can spray up to 25 feet, and make sure you keep a phone w/ you when you go outside w/ the dog. Oh, and my dd would be sleeping w/ me, because we'd both feel safer that way. Hugs to both of you. My dd did sleep with me, and stayed up half the night, scared, and talking about it. I hate this--I actually wish it were my xh--I'd feel safer. To top it all off, when we came home, after all of that, we realized our dogs had gotten her second fave toy, a big stuffed lion she has had forever, that she usually keeps up on a shelf, that she brought to bed with her last night. I know it was that she was tired and distraught, but she cried for nearly 40 minutes, really sobbing, and I couldn't console her. I hate that :(. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 Rewiring a light is simple. If you can't do it ask a neighbor to help you out. Seriously it is just a matter of matching red to red, white to white, green is ground. Sensor lights are cheap. I understand the worry for your dog's safety, but if it is between your dog's safety and your dd's let the dog go, Their instinct is to protect their pack, ie you. The chance of her simply running out into traffic if you are screaming etc is not too likely. Even with a poor swing a bat can cause enough damage to give you time to get away. It gives more space between you and a possible attacker than a tennis racket. With adreniline pumping through your veins you can pack quite a wallop. Get into some mother/daughter/goddaughter self defense classes. I know transportation and money are an issue. Find a class on a bus route, and speak to the instructor about a payment plan. Explain the situation, they will likely accept your offer to make payments rather than pay all at once, because they will want you and your dd and gd trained on how to protect yourself. Bug spray is great, even better is bear spray if permitted in your jurisdiction. Carry a phone on you at all times. Carry an air horn, like what people use at sporting events, The loud noise will draw attention something they will not want. In addition to self defense class work with your daughter to help her feel empowered. The police in your area are not responding to this seriously enough. She can not go through this feeling terrified. Work with role play situations, on how she can respond to different scenarios, so if they happen she can think "I know what to do, we did this". My daughter knows if someone grabs her, to go for the groin with fists, feet and teeth. Until she is free and run for help all while screaming fire for example. Keep windows and doors locked at all times. Keep the dogs with you but do not be afraid to let go of the leash when outside if she is going after someone. My kids would be sleeping in my room with the door locked until this stopped, simply because I would feel safer having them with me if someone tried to break in at night. Keep dog in room with you too. Keep phone in room with you (I do not normally have a phone in my room which is why I specify it). Alert your neighbors to what is going on. Even if they live some distance away they will keep an eye out for suspicious vehicles/people if they are aware there are prowlers in the area. Also get an alarm for the doors. I bought some when my son was running away lots as a toddler. They are uber cheap like $5-10 each. What they do is start sounding a loud alarm when the seal is broken. SO at night lock your doors and flip the switch on. If anyone opens the door and alarm sounds. Bad guys do not know it is not a regular alarm and it will wake you and give you a chance to call 911 before anyone gets fully in the house through a doorway. In the meantime I will pray for your family to get through this and give your dd peace from the fears. I know you have different beliefs so I hope it doesn't offend you that I will pray for you. That getting easier date is September 21 at midnight. WHen you wake in the morning you will feel empowered not fearful and will know that there is nothing that will keep you down, hold you back, or make you fear any longer. It's time to fight back and regain your power. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klmama Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 Also get an alarm for the doors. I bought some when my son was running away lots as a toddler. They are uber cheap like $5-10 each. What they do is start sounding a loud alarm when the seal is broken. SO at night lock your doors and flip the switch on. If anyone opens the door and alarm sounds. Bad guys do not know it is not a regular alarm and it will wake you and give you a chance to call 911 before anyone gets fully in the house through a doorway. :iagree: I used to have a motion detector alarm on my apartment door when I was single, and it made me feel much safer. When I travelled I attached it to hotel doors with velcro tape. I would seriously make calls tomorrow in an attempt to find someone who can help you fix your lighting situation. You need the broken one fixed, of course, which you can take care of yourself, but you also need motion detector lights. I'd get one for every side of the house, if possible. Also, I would call the police department before it gets dark to ask them to make extra passes by your home because of having trespassers in your yard two nights in a row. Do you, by any chance, remember the name of the helpful officer that called your ex when you had a problem before? Maybe he would be able to help you with this. Praying for you right now. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Governess Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 Oh, wow. I feel so anxious for you! I agree that the first priority is to get those lights fixed. My girls would be sleeping with me, too! I'll be praying for you....:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom to Aly Posted September 21, 2008 Author Share Posted September 21, 2008 Thank you all for the wonderful wishes and advice (and, yes, prayers are welcome--I believe we are all praying to the same God, no matter the name :) ). I was trying to convince myself the policeman could be right, but, honestly, he didn't seem to take it too seriously, which is how half of them were last time. They hear ex-husband, that he was never physically abusive, and they stop listening, even though he lives on the other side of the country now. I don't know about self defense classes, there is no public transport here (closest bus line is more than 10 miles away :( ), but, even though I have told my daughter what to do, I have never thought of acting it out with her--that is a wonderful idea. Thank you all, I do feel much better! I am going to see if I can get some lights tomorrow and try to work on getting them hooked up. I'm also going to see if I can get a lantern light. I have a bill I haven't paid yet, I'm just going to explain what happened, and see if I can wait on it and get these. Thanks again, so much!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 If you rewire anything, be sure to turn all the electricity OFF first! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockermom Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 If you rewire anything, be sure to turn all the electricity OFF first! At the Breaker Box!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy loves Bud Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 e Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom to Aly Posted September 21, 2008 Author Share Posted September 21, 2008 Did OK, didn't sleep much, but am happy now daytime is here :). I feel really dumb in a way... Anyway, I have to say, I do have this place locked up like Fort Knox (I'm from NYC ;)), more locks than anyone I know, but when my ex did this last year, he broke the lights we have on the other side and in back, but it is the side where the hill and woods are that we have never had a light. I'm going to see if I can find cheap lights for the others too, and replace them, and I know to turn the breaker off (because a friend told me, hee hee, although I think I would have known anyway ;)). I am feeling braver now it is daylight. We stayed in last night, just let the dogs do whatever, didn't step outside. When I took the dogs out today, they sniffed all over the front, like Daisy did last night, and then the side where the guy was the other night, with Daisy growling, and our other dog, who is half Pom, half Corgi (a Porgi--think long, light blond Pom) peed everywhere--that is his weapon--he can hold his pee forever, then go a million times! Watch out bad guys!! LOL! I do think the police are just not taking it seriously which makes me mad! I'm going to call tomorrow and see if they can look back and find the policeman who helped us last time, don't know if they can, but he had come out several times, and been the most helpful, and I am going to ask them to send a car around to check on us, I'm sure I can request that. I'm just waiting to see if my sister can take us to get the lights. I left a message about what happened and asking her to take us, but she and her dh went out and didn't call, my mom said to Walmart, and my mom said she doesn't think she'll want to take us after, but I'm hopeful... Anyway, I do feel better, thank you for asking!! And thanks again, guys!! I'll keep you posted. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbie Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 Rewiring a light is simple. If you can't do it ask a neighbor to help you out. Seriously it is just a matter of matching red to red, white to white, green is ground. Sensor lights are cheap. I understand the worry for your dog's safety, but if it is between your dog's safety and your dd's let the dog go, Their instinct is to protect their pack, ie you. The chance of her simply running out into traffic if you are screaming etc is not too likely. Even with a poor swing a bat can cause enough damage to give you time to get away. It gives more space between you and a possible attacker than a tennis racket. With adreniline pumping through your veins you can pack quite a wallop. Get into some mother/daughter/goddaughter self defense classes. I know transportation and money are an issue. Find a class on a bus route, and speak to the instructor about a payment plan. Explain the situation, they will likely accept your offer to make payments rather than pay all at once, because they will want you and your dd and gd trained on how to protect yourself. Bug spray is great, even better is bear spray if permitted in your jurisdiction. Carry a phone on you at all times. Carry an air horn, like what people use at sporting events, The loud noise will draw attention something they will not want. In addition to self defense class work with your daughter to help her feel empowered. The police in your area are not responding to this seriously enough. She can not go through this feeling terrified. Work with role play situations, on how she can respond to different scenarios, so if they happen she can think "I know what to do, we did this". My daughter knows if someone grabs her, to go for the groin with fists, feet and teeth. Until she is free and run for help all while screaming fire for example. Keep windows and doors locked at all times. Keep the dogs with you but do not be afraid to let go of the leash when outside if she is going after someone. My kids would be sleeping in my room with the door locked until this stopped, simply because I would feel safer having them with me if someone tried to break in at night. Keep dog in room with you too. Keep phone in room with you (I do not normally have a phone in my room which is why I specify it). Alert your neighbors to what is going on. Even if they live some distance away they will keep an eye out for suspicious vehicles/people if they are aware there are prowlers in the area. Also get an alarm for the doors. I bought some when my son was running away lots as a toddler. They are uber cheap like $5-10 each. What they do is start sounding a loud alarm when the seal is broken. SO at night lock your doors and flip the switch on. If anyone opens the door and alarm sounds. Bad guys do not know it is not a regular alarm and it will wake you and give you a chance to call 911 before anyone gets fully in the house through a doorway. In the meantime I will pray for your family to get through this and give your dd peace from the fears. I know you have different beliefs so I hope it doesn't offend you that I will pray for you. That getting easier date is September 21 at midnight. WHen you wake in the morning you will feel empowered not fearful and will know that there is nothing that will keep you down, hold you back, or make you fear any longer. It's time to fight back and regain your power. :iagree:These are all great tips. Also, we had this happen three mos. ago. Unfortunately we dont have dogs. The cops were no help, whatsoever. But, you can call every nite after 6 the non emergency line and ask them to patrol your area. They cannot refuse you. Also, I think nnwi.org has Neighborhood watch signs for 35.00 bucks. Not a guarantee, but a little deterrrent. If you are buying lights make sure motion sensor, they have wireless, that you dont even have to mess w/wiring. They are not expensive. Get in touch w/neighbors, start a neighbor phone watch. This also is great community service for dd, my dd's have really been involved in the community watch I set up. I am praying for you guys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom to Aly Posted September 21, 2008 Author Share Posted September 21, 2008 I'm so sorry you went through this! I didn't know about the wireless ones! Thank you, I'll look for that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 I'm just waiting to see if my sister can take us to get the lights. I left a message about what happened and asking her to take us, but she and her dh went out and didn't call, my mom said to Walmart, and my mom said she doesn't think she'll want to take us after, but I'm hopeful... Hmm...is this the sister that has been not-so-helpful in the past? I'm pretty sure that if it were me, I wouldn't even have asked her. Surely you must have a neighbor who would be willing to give you a ride into town on their next convenient trip? :auto: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom to Aly Posted September 22, 2008 Author Share Posted September 22, 2008 Hmm...is this the sister that has been not-so-helpful in the past? I'm pretty sure that if it were me, I wouldn't even have asked her. Surely you must have a neighbor who would be willing to give you a ride into town on their next convenient trip? :auto: Julie, I think you are more sensible than I. I finally got my sis on the phone, and she said that this wasn't her problem, and she didn't feel she needed to put herself out for it. Quote and unquote. I told her how nervous I was and that we didn't have a light, and just as I finished she repeated no, and hung up on me. So, I sat there like an idiot, feeling so angry, and hurt, and frustrated, and started crying, and just then the phone rang, and it was a friend who knew the situation (I had called her husband to ask how to put up a light), and she asked if I would like to borrow her car to go get a light :D. So we went to Lowe's--turns out wireless usually means a wireless remote :confused:--don't want to know. The only one they had that was wireless needed to have another unit attached to a base and was $178! The only plug in one was $89! So I found a reg one to replace our broken one for $45. It has two lights, and better range, I can move them up to 180 degrees, so one can face my front step, and the other all the way to the side of my yard, where the people came from, and where the hill is, plus that is the side they take to get to the woods behind my house. These are also halogen spotlight bulbs, so it will be a strong light! I then had to get the bulbs (?!?), and caulk (there was a moisture prob there), and we got a big lantern flashlight that has a halogen bulb, and got out of there for $78. My trash pick-up, which I haven't paid, is $81 for three months, and I've decided I'm going to beg them to let me pay each month. (yes, I know it is high, but without a car, I have to pay it, plus, it just went up--from $42 to $81, due to gas.) My friend's husband came over to put it in, but I knew he had to get up early, so I didn't let him, but he showed me everything, and Dy and I are going to do it tomorrow. I can't afford to get a bat or anything right now, the $3 is all I have left, but I did find a crutch from an injury last year, and I'm keeping that out, plus a hoe, and bug spray, but I do think my dog is my best weapon (hey, Frodo can really spray that pee ;)). No, but Daisy is really something, all muscle, I weigh, well, more than I should, and she has literally dragged me along with no problem, even with a gentle leader and me holding back like anything. So I'm ready :D!! Thank you all so, so much!!!! Can't thank you enough! I feel much, much better!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in the Kootenays Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 The people who run it might be able to give you good advice, help you improve safety around your place, talk to the police on your behalf - all sorts of things. I work at a shelter and we're happy to help women with safety plans etc. We lend out cell phones and alarms - do whatever it is in our power to keep families safe. I bet you have people like that in your community too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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