I am thinking of starting a blog, but don't want to make enemies, advice please!

[Sharon77]

As a over 40 yr old, veteran hsing mom, you can bet I have some strong opinions and views! :)

I have thought of starting a blog for years, and my husband has been encouraging me to do so forever.

 

But my biggest concern is close family and friends. How do you keep from offending/alienating them?

There are many things I don't say to people because I do believe it is their life and their choice, but if I am writing a personal blog and I voice my opinion, and they read it, and they then know we are at opposite ends, then what?

 

For example, I have a very close, long-distance friend. We have called each other a few times a month over 15 years talking about how our kids and families are. When our kids were young, we were very similar in our child raising ways and bonded over that.

 

As our kids got older, the differences in our child-raising grew. Obviously, with hsing, I am very hands on. She is not anymore. The first disagreement she and I had, happened because her oldest got caught drinking in 11th grade. She was beside herself because she believed her child was a strong, independent leader. Instead she had to hear her daughter say how much she wanted the approval of friends.

 

When she called me to tell me what had happened, she proceeded to tell me that I should check up on my daughter and that I shouldn't trust her. When I told her my kid was fine, she called me naïve.

 

Can I say, that I saw the writing on the wall with her child? I saw the kid's insecurity but mom did not.

If I write a blog, talking about some of the things I have done with my kids concerning child raising, and people I know read it and they know they are not like that... is this even worth it?

 

And I would never talk about people I know. I will only draw from my own life and my work with kids.

 

My husband thinks this is my people pleasing side coming out and that I have to get over it.

 

What do you think?

 

Any and all advice appreciated! Thanks!

Edited December 5, 2015 by Sharon77

[Tsuga]

I blogged anonymously, honestly.

 

It's why I could never go into journalism, and why I have a hard time finishing my book.

 

I empathize and I don't know the right answer, but it is very hard. Ultimately I felt that I could make a living without writing, so I keep those things semi-anonymous (nothing being truly anonymous) and just do my job.

 

I wish you the best of luck in your endeavor. It's never easy.

[Catwoman]

If you want to start a blog and allow the people you know to read it, you have to make a decision about how personal and how opinionated you want to get. If you are worried about offending people, honesty may not be the best policy. ;) But if you're not going to be honest and talk about the things that are important to you, why bother starting the blog at all?

 

It's a tough decision, and unfortunately I think it's one you will have to make on your own.

 

That said, let us know if you start your blog! I wish you the very best with it! :)

[ThisIsTheDay]

>>But my biggest concern is close family and friends. How do you keep from offending/alienating them?

 

You don't share it with them! 

 

Consider your reasons for blogging.  If you want to be controversial, that's fine.  If you don't want to offend friends, that's fine too.  But you will find it impossible to do both.

 

As for not writing about people you know.  You will.  And if you have friends reading your blog, those people you've written about may come to be your friends, and you'll have to go back and scrub out your writing--or risk offending.

 

It's a circle!  ;)

 

 

[TammyS]

My concern isn't your friends, it's that you make some consideration for your own children's privacy.  My mother always told everything about us to everyone, especially when we got in trouble or did something stupid.  It was mortifying and I still resent it.

[bolt.]

If I ever blog, I will do it under a pseudonym. There is *no* way I want people who know me to be able to bring my internet opinions off the screen and into my thanksgiving dinner.

 

Give yourself a new name, and one for each child, and spouse. Pick a comprtable town/city, to "live in". Publish photos without faces.

[marbel]

If you want the blog to be personal, like a journal, and want to be able to express yourself with no consideration for people who read it, publish it anonymously and don't tell people about it. 

 

If you want the blog to be read by family and friends, frame your opinions in a non-confrontational way.    Don't say "this is the right way to do x" but rather "we did x the way we did because it was the best fit for our family" or whatever. 

 

 

[VaKim]

Agree with all the pps who say make it anonymous. No way I'd want to have to pay such close attention to what I said to keep from offending every single person I know. This way, you can say whatever you want.

[TranquilMind]

As a over 40 yr old, veteran hsing mom, you can bet I have some strong opinions and views! :)

I have thought of starting a blog for years, and my husband has been encouraging me to do so forever.

 

But my biggest concern is close family and friends. How do you keep from offending/alienating them?

There are many things I don't say to people because I do believe it is their life and their choice, but if I am writing a personal blog and I voice my opinion, and they read it, and they then know we are at opposite ends, then what?

 

For example, I have a very close, long-distance friend. We have called each other a few times a month over 15 years talking about how our kids and families are. When our kids were young, we were very similar in our child raising ways and bonded over that.

 

As our kids got older, the differences in our child-raising grew. Obviously, with hsing, I am very hands on. She is not anymore. The first disagreement she and I had, happened because her oldest got caught drinking in 11th grade. She was beside herself because she believed her child was a strong, independent leader. Instead she had to hear her daughter say how much she wanted the approval of friends.

 

When she called me to tell me what had happened, she proceeded to tell me that I should check up on my daughter and that I shouldn't trust her. When I told her my kid was fine, she called me naïve.

 

Can I say, that I saw the writing on the wall with her child? I saw the kid's insecurity but mom did not.

If I write a blog, talking about some of the things I have done with my kids concerning child raising, and people I know read it and they know they are not like that... is this even worth it?

 

And I would never talk about people I know. I will only draw from my own life and my work with kids.

 

My husband thinks this is my people pleasing side coming out and that I have to get over it.

 

What do you think?

 

Any and all advice appreciated! Thanks!

Don't tell people you know.  Make sure you use disclaimers regularly, in case they do find it. 

[Sharon77]

If you want to start a blog and allow the people you know to read it, you have to make a decision about how personal and how opinionated you want to get. If you are worried about offending people, honesty may not be the best policy. ;) But if you're not going to be honest and talk about the things that are important to you, why bother starting the blog at all?

 

It's a tough decision, and unfortunately I think it's one you will have to make on your own.

 

That said, let us know if you start your blog! I wish you the very best with it! :)

Exactly!

[Sharon77]

My concern isn't your friends, it's that you make some consideration for your own children's privacy.  My mother always told everything about us to everyone, especially when we got in trouble or did something stupid.  It was mortifying and I still resent it.

Absolutely. I wouldn't do this without each of their permission. Which I already have. They all think I should start one. I did tell them I would want them to read my posts before publishing them. They are great editors! :)

[Sharon77]

Thank you all for your advice. You have all confirmed what I suspected :lol:

 

I am planning on growing this blog into the future, so being anonymous isn't really a option.

 

I am just going to have to figure out how to write in a non-offensive way, although I don't know if that is possible, if you've ever read comments!

 

I think I am going to start with several posts on my past and history. Then perhaps it will show how my ideas and ways came to be?

 

Like with hsing. I know many people have had good public school experiences. I accept that. Mine was not. It was 13 years of torture. It is one of the biggest reasons I chose to hs. But people always get defensive and start telling me how wonderful their school years were, or about  how their kid's school is so great. And I always say, that's great, but not for me. But they do not hear me!

 

This blog is one way I do plan to say my side. I generally always stay quiet, but I now feel restless and it is not for me anymore.

 

Thanks again.

Edited December 5, 2015 by Sharon77

[Catwoman]

I think you have the right attitude. You can't please everyone, but if you acknowledge that others may have had different experiences or that you believe that everyone makes the best choices for their own family, it will go a long way toward getting people to like and respect you, even if they may sometimes disagree with you.

 

And remember that when someone posts a nasty comment, you can delete it rather than responding to it if you think the person is trying to start trouble. Trolls are looking for an argument -- don't give it to them. :)

[Sharon77]

I think you have the right attitude. You can't please everyone, but if you acknowledge that others may have had different experiences or that you believe that everyone makes the best choices for their own family, it will go a long way toward getting people to like and respect you, even if they may sometimes disagree with you.

 

And remember that when someone posts a nasty comment, you can delete it rather than responding to it if you think the person is trying to start trouble. Trolls are looking for an argument -- don't give it to them. :)

Thank you for the encouragement!

[Guest]

Golden rule. If you wouldn't want it said of you, don't say it about others.

[Anne in CA]

Thank you all for your advice. You have all confirmed what I suspected :lol:

 

I am planning on growing this blog into the future, so being anonymous isn't really a option.

 

I am just going to have to figure out how to write in a non-offensive way, although I don't know if that is possible, if you've ever read comments!

 

I think I am going to start with several posts on my past and history. Then perhaps it will show how my ideas and ways came to be?

 

Like with hsing. I know many people have had good public school experiences. I accept that. Mine was not. It was 13 years of torture. It is one of the biggest reasons I chose to hs. But people always get defensive and start telling me how wonderful their school years were, or about  how their kid's school is so great. And I always say, that's great, but not for me. But they do not hear me!

 

This blog is one way I do plan to say my side. I generally always stay quiet, but I now feel restless and it is not for me anymore.

 

Thanks again.

There are many, many reasons that public school is not best for everyone. I really hear you on the fact that people with good experiences dismiss the people with bad experiences. They believe that most people with bad experiences bring those bad experiences upon themselves. I don't believe that to be true at all. I believe that kids are kids and that adults should be facilitating education and that bad educational experiences should not be blamed on children. But, OMG, saying that out loud to certain people makes them livid.

 

I believe that a perfect storm happened with my ps experience to make is so dissatisfactory, and  I think that it could have been worse. I am a pretty tough person and I got the most out of the public school experience that I could.  I think the GOOD things I got from ps were things I made happen for myself and the bad things that happened were the responsibility of adults who shirked their duties. But there are people who do not like to hear this, and I keep it to myself. I also think I got lucky and had two GREAT public school teachers. My oldest child was only home schooled for four years and she never had a good teacher in eight years of public school, much less a great one. That is unfortunate, but  I suspect that that is more common than not. But saying anything negative about teachers in our culture is simply risky. There are good teachers out there, I am related to some, and have gone to church with some, but I think they are more rare than people think.

[KungFuPanda]

Have a pen name, keep a diary, or expect to make people angry. Those are your choices.