Mom22ns Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Ds will be moving into the dorms on Friday. I am feeling very apprehensive. If I post on the college board that I'm not sure he is ready to make it on his own, I'll get all kinds of negative feedback and there are plenty of people who will tell me not to send him. I don't need that. Ds has ASD, ADD, and Dysgraphia. His social skills aren't bad, but he is still awkward. Academically, he is highly gifted, but the classroom environment poses challenges. We have planned. We have prepped. We have supports in place. I'm still so nervous. I just needed a safe place to share and be understood. Thanks. Update in post 20 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MysteryJen Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 (((Debbie))) I think every parent is deep down worried when they drop off at college. Special needs or not. You, at least, have planned and prepped. Now, you have his back, but he will be in charge. He will find his way. No freshman year is without bumps and worries. Actually, I am starting to think that this young adult parenting gig is way, way harder than I was led to believe. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Are you doing anything special these last few days to keep yourself busy? Water park? We'll be cheering for you! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom22ns Posted August 11, 2015 Author Share Posted August 11, 2015 Are you doing anything special these last few days to keep yourself busy? Water park? We'll be cheering for you! I got stung by a wasp Saturday and I'm allergic. It has put a damper on plans. I'm on prednisone and antihistamines and can hardly stay awake. My leg is swollen to the size of a tree trunk and I can barely walk. :svengo: Tomorrow ds and I are taking the dog to a vet hospital 3 hours away for some advanced imaging that isn't available locally. I may only be half conscious, but he'll be stuck in the car with me at least 6 hours so we'll get to spend some time together. :) Maybe not the most fun trip, but it will be a distraction. Thursday I'll finally make him pack (I've been gathering, but he hasn't been packing yet) and we leave first thing Friday morning. After today, the week will go fast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Oh dear, that sounds horrible! I hope your leg improves before you have to drive that long way!! Go rot your brain with a nice tv series and put your feet up, mercy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Cheering both you and your son on as well. We have quite a few years to go here, but I know I would be just as nervous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heathermomster Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 :grouphug: Debbie :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Hugs and best wishes. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom22ns Posted August 12, 2015 Author Share Posted August 12, 2015 Thanks everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Huge hugs. As mentioned upthread we will be cheering you both on. And goodness the leg thing sounds awful. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest2 Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Cheering for you! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom22ns Posted August 15, 2015 Author Share Posted August 15, 2015 He's in! My leg was enough better that I could help him move in (although the move in crew carried everything) and walk around campus as needed today. Thanks for the support! 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vida Winter Posted August 15, 2015 Share Posted August 15, 2015 He's in! My leg was enough better that I could help him move in (although the move in crew carried everything) and walk around campus as needed today. Thanks for the support! We're cheering for you! For what it's worth, everyone has a hard time with this and there are always bumps in the road. You have to let go and see how it goes. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom22ns Posted August 17, 2015 Author Share Posted August 17, 2015 You have to let go and see how it goes. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: This is what I keep telling myself. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 (((Hugs))) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiramisu Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 I was so nervous when I left dd. About two days later we had to travel overseas and the idea of that made me more of a wreck because I knew couldn't help her if there was a problem. Once we left, though, I was busy. Dd had one major anxiety attack but it was a surprisingly easy adjustment. I think texasmama's dd left for college at the same time as my dd and she was a great support. :001_wub: I'd recommend doing what you can to distract yourself for awhile. It's a time of adjustment for all moms. Your ds might have an easier time because he'll be kept busy. :grouphug: 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PagesandFields Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 My favorite job ever was as a tutor at a college. I was in a special group of tutors that were specially trained to work with LD kids. I also worked with continuing students (or the older ones)... Anyhoo... I did workshops and groups to welcome all the incoming freshman. I often had a handful that I would tutor that first semester (particularly the LD kids)... I think honestly it helped with the transition into college classes more than anything else in particular. Just wanted to throw that out there. We were a tiny college and it was a long time ago... but there's definitely a possibility that there's some kind of center for academic excellence, support, or tutoring center that may have people that specifically work with freshman adjusting to college level classes... hugs! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom22ns Posted September 16, 2015 Author Share Posted September 16, 2015 So after 4 weeks I thought I'd update. Ds loves school and especially dorm life. He is doing great, making friends, joining clubs. He says he is doing well academically, but I'll feel better when we get midterm grades and I can see for myself. :) He decided not to use any of the accommodations he was given through disability services :glare: . He says he is not disabled, so he doesn't need them. I hope this doesn't backfire academically, but right now he is set on trying to prove he doesn't need accommodations and if that motivates him, well ok. For me, having ds go out on his own was stressful beyond words. He has never been an independent child. We've had to push him at all levels to take any personal responsibility or independence. Now that I have seen him step up and successfully navigate various issues, I have relaxed a lot and am regaining perspective. Thanks for the support here. 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storygirl Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 :party: 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 So after 4 weeks I thought I'd update. Ds loves school and especially dorm life. He is doing great, making friends, joining clubs. He says he is doing well academically, but I'll feel better when we get midterm grades and I can see for myself. :) He decided not to use any of the accommodations he was given through disability services :glare: . He says he is not disabled, so he doesn't need them. I hope this doesn't backfire academically, but right now he is set on trying to prove he doesn't need accommodations and if that motivates him, well ok. For me, having ds go out on his own was stressful beyond words. He has never been an independent child. We've had to push him at all levels to take any personal responsibility or independence. Now that I have seen him step up and successfully navigate various issues, I have relaxed a lot and am regaining perspective. Thanks for the support here. I can't even begin to describe how happy it makes me to see your updates :) I wish more moms would do this. It is such hope to those of us that are not there yet! I have another reason to like your updates though. Your son sounds a lot like my oldest. Over time we have had to push him in certain areas to make him more independent and most times I think it's lack of confidence. If he doesn't have a certain level of experience with something and doesn't know what to expect he hesitates to try. We tackle that by giving him more real life or hands on experiences on how to deal with certain life skills. Your son refusing the supports tells me that you have done a wonderful job of preparing him for life, so kudos to you too mom :) and thank you for taking the time to share. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heathermomster Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 Awesome and thank-you for the update! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 Thanks so much for the update. It brought tears of joy to my eyes. :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 I am so happy to hear this, for you and for your son! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 I think that neither our kids nor we know what they are really capable of until there is no safety net. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom22ns Posted September 16, 2015 Author Share Posted September 16, 2015 I think that neither our kids nor we know what they are really capable of until there is no safety net. This. This exactly. This is why we pushed him to go even though we weren't sure he was ready. I know most people without special needs kids don't get this. It is big and scary but we all knew for certain that he needed to try, even if he failed. If he didn't try, he couldn't succeed. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 This. This exactly. This is why we pushed him to go even though we weren't sure he was ready. I know most people without special needs kids don't get this. It is big and scary but we all knew for certain that he needed to try, even if he failed. If he didn't try, he couldn't succeed. Yesssssss. I have given my SN kid pushes his entire life, all the while wringing my hands in the background with my eyes filling up with tears. But he has never failed to humble me with his efforts. Rock on, one of the N's. :) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merry gardens Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 Thank you for the update! I have a junior in high school and already feel some apprehension about college for him. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom22ns Posted September 17, 2015 Author Share Posted September 17, 2015 I have given my SN kid pushes his entire life, all the while wringing my hands in the background with my eyes filling up with tears. But he has never failed to humble me with his efforts. It is not possible for me to express how much it means to me to see my feelings so beautifully expressed by someone else. For me, the hardest things about parenting a special needs kiddo are the isolation and the lack of understanding IRL. I love coming here where other people really, truly get it. Thank you. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 It is not possible for me to express how much it means to me to see my feelings so beautifully expressed by someone else. For me, the hardest things about parenting a special needs kiddo are the isolation and the lack of understanding IRL. I love coming here where other people really, truly get it. Thank you. :grouphug: Hey there, sister. I get you. :) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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