Teach K and 3rd? or outsource K?

[raindrops]

I'm unsure now about whether I should teach K to my son, and 3rd grade to my daughter, at home.  He's a busy & distracting little guy. 

 

I'm concerned about the constant distractions all day long, his lack of playtime during the day with friends, and just the logistics of teaching them both different material.  Part of me thinks he'd be better off going to school for Kindergarten so he can play and interact with friends while I focus my energy & time on my daughter's education.

 

What do you think?

[Chris in VA]

You have to do what works best for you, but honestly, K takes just a little bit of time. 3rd can be done in 3 hours. You'd have the rest of the day to schedule playdates, go to the park, etc. I just wouldn't want to miss having my little one around! I do hear you about distractions. Some of it depends on what you'll be using. Care to share?

[Arcadia]

I sent my DS10 to public school K because it was 5-6hrs of play.  I did not send my DS9 because he was assigned to a different school which has serious overcrowding issues, more ESLs than they seems to be able to cope with and generally having lots of students transfer to private within a year. So the vibe I got was that the school wasn't coping/well managed.

 

Could you let your son sleep in and get your daughter's work done before he wakes up? The seatwork portion for 3rd grade took my kids less than 3hrs, usually 2 hrs.  The rest was hands on and watching documentaries together. 

[strange_girl]

K is easy peasy (just finished my second time teaching it) and a lot of fun. If it were me, I wouldn't send him. Part of his K year can be about learning to sit and work with you, and learning to play quietly for certain times while you work with your daughter.

[73349]

Well... what do you know of the school and the teacher he's likely to get?

 

I ask because my brother was a busy and distracting little guy (but smart as a whip), and his K teacher made it clear that she didn't like having him there. He, in turn, decided that school was his least favorite thing, and he held on to that attitude in later years. (We went to PS all the way through.)

 

On the other hand, if your DS is pretty easygoing and maybe will be more apt to follow the crowd in a group setting, he can have a good time, and it doesn't really matter how far he gets academically if you're going to bring him home next year anyway.

 

What social outlets does your DD have? Can he tag along, or do you need him to make his own friends?

[Junie]

I'm getting ready to teach kindergarten for the 6th time.  Really, it takes me about half an hour a day.  I'm not sure what the kindergarten is like where you are, but ime, kindergarten has much less play time than my dc get at home.  

[Ellie]

I'm unsure now about whether I should teach K to my son, and 3rd grade to my daughter, at home.  He's a busy & distracting little guy. 

 

I'm concerned about the constant distractions all day long, his lack of playtime during the day with friends, and just the logistics of teaching them both different material.  Part of me thinks he'd be better off going to school for Kindergarten so he can play and interact with friends while I focus my energy & time on my daughter's education.

 

What do you think?

 

I would not expect things to be so difficult with a little 8yo person and a little 5yo person. And it's better for siblings to play and interact with each other than for random children to be forced to interact and play with each other.

 

Each should have his or her own arithmetic time, and his or her own English-related time (age-appropriate reading, penmanship, writing, etc., ), but it would be most fun to do history and science together, something like Prairie Primer, or KONOS.

[kirstenhill]

It took me 30-60 minutes per day with my K'er last year.  Most days more like 30-45 (it was really only more when we played a game for math or a longer reading/spelling game).  My K'er is also very active and busy, so I picked fun curriculum that kept him moving and interactive (for us it was Logic of English foundations for reading/writing/spelling and Miquon for math).  A K'er can listen in with an older sibling for science, history or whatever other content subject you're doing.  My busy guy liked to color, do playdoh, build with blocks or other quiet activities that kept his hands busy during reading time.  Your third grader can keep herself busy while you work with the K'er.  Next year my 3rd grade DS will do 20 minutes of independent reading, a 10 minute chore, 15-20 minutes of educational computer or iPad game, followed by a short break/snack while I work with his younger brother.

 

As far as how to keep him busy while you teach your third grader...I am assuming he was around while you were teaching her 2nd grade? He will probably still be just as happy to play while you are working if he was happy to do that last year (now, if he wasn't around last year or you weren't homeschooling, that's a different story - it might take practice to train him how to play in a way that doesn't distract his older sister).

 

Something i am considering doing this coming year with my busy almost-4-year old DS is a weekly swap with a friend.  He will go to friend's house 1 morning or afternoon a week while friend comes over to our house for one morning or afternoon.  It is win-win because when DS is playing with friend, they leave moms and older siblings alone! 3rd grade shouldn't take all day, so even with adding 30-60 minutes of K working, you still have plenty of hours left in the day for play dates, park outings, field trips, and other outside activities.

[Mrs. B]

I considered sending one child to PS K while I worked with the older. Problem was I didn't want to be tied to the school system schedule, the school was too academically focused for K with recess only 3x per week and PE the other 2 days, and her neighbor friends that went to K often had homework. My daughter ended up loving being home playing and coloring while I worked with my older child. At times, I put on a PBS educational show for her while I worked with the older one. Her work took less than an hour. She tagged along for the ride as desired for everything like music, educational documentaries, art, read alouds, history, science, and poetry. I often let her play in our fenced backyard while doing read alouds with my older one. We did lots of homeschool community activities like zoo classes, library programs, play dates with friends, field trips, park days, and swim lessons. It was a great K year.

 

If ps K was 1/2 day or more fun than work I would have been more tempted to send her. I asked her during Christmas break if she wanted to go to school for the 2nd half of the school year, because I knew I had a busy spring ahead with extended family needs. She said something like, "and be away from you all day? No thanks."

[Tanikit]

My two will be K and 3rd next year (we school Jan-Dec). What are your plans beyond K - would you have him home for first or would you keep him in school? I am not sure that first and fourth would be any different as far as the distractions go and it might be better then to keep him home this year so that you can sort out how to run a homeschool with both of them there. If however you are thinking of having him in school all the time then you should send him now. 

 

My youngest does school now and it does not take long (I think she wishes it would take longer) I have had to teach both children not to interrupt my teaching time with the other as it is not only the youngest in my family who likes to do that. I want both my children finished by lunch time and with a good routine and reasonable breaks it is possible. Then they can do gymnastics in the afternoons or go to friends or the homeschool groups we attend. I need a day though where I do not leave the house for my own sanity so we try to fit that in too.

[Mrs. B]

Just thought of this. If you are concerned that you are unable to get your son to not interupt school with your older child, it will likely be more difficult for him to sit quietly and wait on other children in a classroom setting. He will need to learn that skill next year either way. Unless you are sending him to a K classroom that has the kids active most of the day, as an active child, he will likely struggle at school more than at home. Atleast at home he can run around the house 10 times or jump on a mini trampoline in his room a few minutes to get wiggles out between sit down activities.

 

Bigs OOPS edit: I spelled interrupt with one R, but leaving it in that way due to the irony of just offering advice on the spelling of "interrupting" for a 4th grader thread . As all can see, I need to stay out of advising on spelling, lol.

[raindrops]

My son did pretty well last year entertaining himself and playing with my daughter.  This summer, however, my daughter is less interested in playing with him.  She wants to read alone in her room, and play with her dolls/ dress-up by herself.  She has less interest in Lincoln logs, etc.  So my son has been much more demanding of my attention, and I've been giving more thought to his need for playmates. 

 

Good points about him doing worse in a classroom setting.  That's been the case all week at VBS.  He WOULD do better with the freedom at home.

 

We are involved in a lot of outside activities during the school year, and we play with the home schooling neighbors regularly. 

 

Maybe I could just get his work done, and then focus on her...  I still foresee a lot of, "Will you PLAY with me?!??" and "Can I play with (neighbor friend)?"  He just doesn't play well by himself.

[Ellie]

 

Maybe I could just get his work done, and then focus on her...  I still foresee a lot of, "Will you PLAY with me?!??" and "Can I play with (neighbor friend)?"  He just doesn't play well by himself.

 

Then that might be one of the things he needs to learn by being home: playing well by himself. In any case, he must learn not to interrupt you or his sister when you are working with her, or when she's working alone.

 

And also please consider the things that you can do with them together--history, science, art

[Targhee]

IMO School-related time-suck > time lost by disruptive younger sibling(s)

 

Think about getting ready/packing lunch, bus stop wait or drive/walk to school, pickup line or bust stop wait in the afternoon, plus parent-teacher conferences, parent days, assemblies, class parties, book fair, etc where you are spending time in public school related activities. Now think about the extra 20-30 minutes you spend in interruptions (in the comfort of you yoga pants) and the golden moments gained in the roughly 60 minutes in K work with your child.

[...................]

Way back when I had a K and 2nd grader...and it was fine!  I used Calvert for K which laid out the day with a nice balance of songs, games, fun activities, phonics and a little reading aloud.  My 2nd grade son sat in or was included in everything except phonics and math.  What I did was to alternate their teaching times.  I would start with my 2nd grader who was an early morning boy and get his math and phonics done before she was even vertical. 

 

She would eat her breakfast and during that time he and I could usually get even more of his work done- something fun and light like critical thinking or a review/coloring page from another subject.

 

Then I would give him a break to play and start her with phonics, and then do her math...I remember her phonics was a lot of hands on so she really liked it.

 

Really, it worked fine.  We didn't do all of the older kids work in one shot or all of the younger kids, that would be impossible for the other kid.  We worked with the personalities and schedules we had.

 

The following year when she was in 1st and he was in 3rd, things flowed really smoothly because we all knew how to work it. The early bird started first and then got a break while the later sleeper got started, and then we alternated the things we didn't combine, and they joined in when they wanted, and then we did some more separate, then lunch, then a finishing up whatever we didn't finish, then QUIET time so mom could rest, and follow that with playtime outside, errands, visiting, whatever.  

[...................]

I re-read your other stuff...

 

If you choose the right materials he shouldn't need to be by himself for long stretches of the day...

 

Also, I would invest in more toys and games and stuff that your dd and him might both enjoy together....if you can think of some.  At that age I would kick my kids out of the house, and they would have to figure out stuff to play together....it's natural that inside their rooms is more age and gender specific toys.  For whatever reason, outside, my kids made it work.  My son would be Woody the cowboy and My dd would be Jessie or a princess, and they would often combine their separate interests into one crazy and hilarious pretend story game...

 

 

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

No one can be in your shoes and make the decision for you, but I tend to agree with those recommending to keep him home.  If you put him in K for a year, he will not come home for first grade suddenly being self-sufficient, you will just delay the problem, and he may pick up a few new bad habits at school.  :-)  

 

Make this part of his character development/habit forming.  Work with him first thing in the morning,t hen put on a children's documentary for him and do your dd's most mom-intense subject.  Then everyone takes a recess and you play 30 minutes with him.  Then tell him he needs to keep himself busy for 30 minutes, get more work done with your daughter.  Give your daughter a chance to be more independent with certain things as well, and combine them for a few things- art, read alouds, etc.  

 

It'll be fine!  Many moms here juggle LOTS more kids and manage.  Learning to work with distractions is part of learning to work.  There are distractions at home and there are distractions at school, it's just life.  :-)  

[luuknam]

Another thing you could do (assuming you have the money) is put your K-er in day camp in some of the various school breaks. That way you'll have a week here and there (e.g. winter break, spring break, a week at the start of summer break and a week at the end of summer break) to focus on your 3rd grader exclusively, without committing your K-er to full-time school. That's obviously not enough time to do all the 3rd grader's schooling, but it could give you a few nice little breaks from having to worry about both kids at the same time. Maybe some sanity breaks like that would make a big difference?

[lea_lpz]

I did k last year with a 2nd grader. Their were days the thought crossed my mind as well as preschool but in the end I felt like it made more sense to homeschool him as well. My son (who just turned 6) is also very active. The great thing is k is short like others said. Once he does his morning board, math, Lang arts, and Bible, he's free to be done for the day. He tags along with big sis for History, science, art, music, foreign Lang and read alouds on a voluntary basis, so his "required" school time is only about an hour.

 

He can at times be disruptive but he's learning a lot about being to have self control and learning to entertain himself. He has the option when he done with his school to---

1) join us for school

2) play quietly at the table with some of his educational toys like play dough or widgets or dot art

3) play quietly in his room

4) play in the yard

 

If he decides to do 1-2 and is disruptive than he has to go play in his room.

 

He's gotten the idea. We tend to do dd's core after lunch anyway when our 1 year old naps so the worst case scanario is he's asked to quiet time in his room and falls asleep for a nap.

[lea_lpz]

My son did pretty well last year entertaining himself and playing with my daughter. This summer, however, my daughter is less interested in playing with him. She wants to read alone in her room, and play with her dolls/ dress-up by herself. She has less interest in Lincoln logs, etc. So my son has been much more demanding of my attention, and I've been giving more thought to his need for playmates.

 

Good points about him doing worse in a classroom setting. That's been the case all week at VBS. He WOULD do better with the freedom at home.

 

We are involved in a lot of outside activities during the school year, and we play with the home schooling neighbors regularly.

 

Maybe I could just get his work done, and then focus on her... I still foresee a lot of, "Will you PLAY with me?!??" and "Can I play with (neighbor friend)?" He just doesn't play well by himself.

Couple ideas-

My daughter often wants time to play by herself and not her brother to do similar stuff now that she's 8. We try to have a daily quiet time hour. I tell her this is her time to play alone quietly with her dolls, read or do her own arts and crafts. When our stepsons home I tell him the same. They both actually look forward to it. My k'er naps or plays quietly. The rule is, if I can hear you then you can't play and you get in bed and nap or read. If I can't hear you, then you're good.

 

Interrupting - this took me awhile to wrap my head around but at a MNO a seasoned homeschool mom told us how her kids couldn't inturrupt during "talk time" and needed to wait until moms done with the other student. It was a lesson both kids had to work on. But once they got it I was a lot less stressed out.

 

We do tend to do his hour of school first while my older child works independently for the hour that way he gets my attention first and if he's done for the day he can go play.

 

My dd's work follows but it's only about 2 hrs, so my ds can usually amuse himself or tag along.

 

How long do you spend on your dd's school day?

 

Some other thoughts----

Learning to play alone is a skill and maybe that's something to work on with him

 

Could he perhaps have too much going on as far as after school activities and play dates. My kids get cranky if we have 4-5 days in a row of play dates and after school activities.