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  • Slache

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Oh honey...I totally get it.  We get crap like this in one form or another from ALL sides of the family.  My maternal side...my paternal side (both sides now remarried), and Hubby's side, including his three sisters.  

 

We opted to not circ and boy, the looks and comments we got from certain family members on my side about how "dirty" it was and how "funny looking" the boys would be. 

 

Um...(here's a big O for oversharing)...Hubby is European.  They don't do it.  And I literally could not come up with a single reason to argue for it anyways.  

 

But yeah...I've also been told how I "threw away" my college degree because I left the work force to homeschool.  And oh, we are in a "cult" because we are conservative christians.  And my father strongly disapproved of my choice of husband (at first...he likes him now) because he was 30 and didn't own a home yet.  "What's he doing with all his money?"  

 

Husband's side of the family wouldn't come to our baby shower, or her first birthday party because it was "too far for them to drive" even though it was within 30 minutes of most of them.  The ones that lived near us rarely visited...but when we announced we were moving out of state, MY WORD you would have thought we'd announced we were joining a Waco-like compound.  

 

My mom was deeply hurt when we moved away.  My middle sister won't talk to us because she has personality disorder issues and is mad that we moved away.  

 

Dad and stepmother wanted us to stay with them, but only if we came up the week they were on school break...which didn't work for us.  So we couldn't stay with them (because why?).  

 

And on and on.  Needless to say, while we are very much looking forward to our return trip to RI...I am almost positive it's going to end with me stressed out over stupid drama.  But at least we get to drive away and leave it all back there and return to our quiet little corner of NY.  

 

Well, on the upside, you can now explain to them that you are part of an Elephant Ninja Brigade, and that certain members of that Brigade who are armed with nunchuks and/or bazookas get mighty cranky when members of the Herd are messed with or made unhappy. 

menance-poing.gif

 

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They had a demo of those at my grocery store, too! Very soft. How do you like them? We could use new pillows.

 

Last night was our first night on them. Dh said his was too high and didn't squish down enough for him. I felt mine was fine. I think he's just used to flat.  :lol: They'll be great if they live up to the no-replace-for-10-years decree.

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We moved away in large part because of my MIL (also because of debt) and will not move back to the same area because of her. My mother and I do not do well but I have the ability to take a break from her. My MIL just. doesn't. drop it. Every conversation is about how we've hurt her and how ungrateful and selfish we are and we don't have the right to live out here. I stopped answering the phone for her years ago.

 

The thing is I have this rule about not taking parenting advice from bad parents. Matt's sister has a list of issues I want my children not to have and when I met Matt he had been a drug addict since he was 16 and she swears that she did everything right, that I do most things wrong and corrects me behind my back. And then wonders why I don't leave her alone with the kids.

 

She plans on coming out when the baby's born (I invited them) and says I don't have the right to tell her what she can and can't do with the kids. She wants Matt to go to work and she'll take care of them. No. She doesn't understand why she doesn't get to make that decision because "she has the right". It doesn't make any sense and she's incapable of an adult conversation so we've never made progress. I'm usually not to bothered by it all but she's been really ramping it up this week. She also thinks we're cruel for not giving her our moving money to come out because we don't *need* to move but she *needs* to see the kids.

 

Everything is about her. Everything. She's a spoiled brat. For Christmas she gives me things she wants us to have when she comes out like an inflatable mattress and a pie cutter. Like I don't notice or something. Grrrrr.

 

Ok. I'll stop.

 

Well, at least she makes me look good.  :)

Edited by JoJosMom
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John can tell when I'm frustrated. It makes me sad not to have the grace I wanted to be the mom I wanted. Hopefully I'll get better.

Well, you all do better than me! My mom says I wear my emotions on my sleeve. And unfortunately that includes frustration. I have no idea how to mask my emotions. Which is why I will never be a spy.
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Slache gets new pillows and nobody cares. Renei gets new pillows and everybody jumps for joy. OK. That's cool I guess.

 

Your mention of pillows is what reminded me that I got some too. It was a total spin-off of your post Slache. You started something!

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I'm sorry for being Miss Debby Downer. Here's a list of positives.

 

 

1. God is good.

2. Dinner was absolutely fabulous.

3. I'm still really excited about the pillows.

4. These are arriving this week (in blue).

5. I'm having a bowl of strawberries.

 

Slache, this was the post I meant to respond to. It was in a different tab. The pillow spin-off post.

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I bought AoPS, looked at it for about 20 minutes, put it away & rolled my eyes at myself because I should have known it was a bad purchase for us. It's so not what / how my kids like to do things. I read somewhere on this board a comment from a mom of now stem college kids that her kids also didn't like this (type of approach; I'm not sure she was talking about AoPS specifically) because it relied too much on 'exploration' and was, in their opinion, a bit of a waste of time. Not going to get into math wars but you can get to understanding without discovering it all yourself, kwim?  Sometimes this reminds me of the unschooling / schooling divide where some unschoolers seem to suggest that things the child discovers / learns on their own are always more valuable than things they were taught / shown .... 

 

I am convinced that, as in all things educational, this is a matter of individual fit (which is why our "one-size-fits-all" public education system is so very good at failure and mediocrity and not so good at wild success).  My child puffy hearts loves AoPS; it speaks to her with the voices of angels and math now lives magically in her brain.  I can work my way through it (sort of), but I look at Foerster's on the shelf and sigh a longing sigh.  We are radical opposites in the ways that we learn and think. And that's okay.  (Even though my way's better.  Duh.)

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Well, it is now 1 pm and we are getting started.  Do you think that I might have lost control of the day a bit?  :blink:

 

The dentist visit went well, but one of sealants wasn't staying sealed so he had to fix it. Went over time there. 

 

Then we met Nana for breakfast, because Nana.  Which went long.  Because Nana.

 

And when we got home, Nonna (across the street neighbor/courtesy grandparent) was trying to herd a couple of wandering dogs, a Husky and a Husky cross.  The blonde female mix came right to me and the male Husky went right to Jo (once I determined there were non-aggressive and let her out of the car.)  So we loaded them into my Sequoia (Roadtrip!  Happy dogs!) and went all the way back into town to take them to the shelter (no one answered our calls to the numbers on the tags and people use our quiet country road as a cut-off between two highways.  I think I and about 3 other people drive the speed limit of 35 . Grr.)

 

So now we're home. :blink:   But I repeat myself.

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Well, on the upside, you can now explain to them that you are part of an Elephant Ninja Brigade, and that certain members of that Brigade who are armed with nunchuks and/or bazookas get mighty cranky when members of the Herd are messed with or made unhappy. 

menance-poing.gif

 

 

 

I'll be calling on the ENB when my folks come to visit for their bi-annual torture visit this summer.  :-)

 

Disclaimer:  Stepmother HAS actually gotten much better the last few years.  But she does still like to have control over things....which can be annoying.  But at least she and dad visit.  The rest?  Nope.

 

And that's the way..uh huh uh huh...I like it.  

 

Though I do feel sad during holidays or other times when I see folks posting happy family gathering pictures on FB.  Because that doesn't happen here.  It's just us and the kids. 

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For Sweetpea (And...it's Soultrain.  What could be a better mid-afternoon pick-me-up?)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ETA:  The guys with the brass had to be in some seriously good physical condition.  Between expending all their oxygen on their instruments, doing their moves, AND carrying around about 80 pounds of sequins- WHEW.  What a work out!

Edited by JoJosMom
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ETA:  The guys with the brass had to be in some seriously good physical condition.  Between expending all their oxygen on their instruments, doing their moves, AND carrying around about 80 pounds of sequins- WHEW.  What a work out!

 

My dad could do that. He was a trumpet player in a band called Love Bones. I think that's how my parents met.

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ETA:  The guys with the brass had to be in some seriously good physical condition.  Between expending all their oxygen on their instruments, doing their moves, AND carrying around about 80 pounds of sequins- WHEW.  What a work out!

 

hm. I didn't Lieutenant Worf played sax. 

 

Also, I did a google image search of KC. Aging wasn't kind to him....

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Actually, this story (among others) is why I really ought to open my day with a prayer of thanksgiving that I didn't end up with kids just like me.

Do I get points for quoting myself? :laugh:

 

I just told oldest that I hope she is blessed with a three year old girl who screams "Don't spank me!!!!" at the top of her lungs while being carried out of a quiet, proper ladies' tea room because she was not allowed to keep a toothpick that had been stuck in a sandwich.  Yes, we still talk about it.  Sometimes the line between good parent and bad is not murdering anyone.

My in-laws tried for many many many years to get us to move "back" to NY. They offered us jobs, a house, and blessings from God. We would be neighbors with dh's whole family! MIL said we had to because God told her in a dream.

 

When jobs and finances were rough there were times that it was tempting, but dh knew we would regret it. Financial security is not worth living in their world of crazy.

 

One of the top ten best decisions of my life was to divorce my in laws.  So.much.freedom. :patriot:

Well, you all do better than me! My mom says I wear my emotions on my sleeve. And unfortunately that includes frustration. I have no idea how to mask my emotions. Which is why I will never be a spy.

We all get the kids we need, and they get the parents they need.  We will mess them up in some ways while helping them in others while other people are messing theirs up in different ways and helping them in others.  It's a thing.  Not masking emotions is fine.  It will help your kids in some ways.  Just like mine are helped.   :D

Edited by texasmama
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Seriously, accept the kind of mom you are, whatever that means.  Kids are not homogeneous, and neither are moms.  There are benefits and drawbacks to any personality type or parenting style.  There is no one size fits all.  

 

I am such a goofball.  I embarrass my kids.  I am silly.  I don't care what people think in public.  I tell them that this prepares them for life - having such a goofy, odd mother.  Who wants to be socially acceptable all the time anyway?

 

If you have seriously made a mistake or said or done something you regret that is truly off-base or mean or in anger, then do apologize.  Don't explain "why", just apologize.  Say, "I'm sorry.  I should not have said/done that."

 

Kids are not screwed up by normal, loving parents who are trying to do their best.  I promise you, they are not.  Some are born screwed up. Some are screwed up by true abuse or neglect.  I have some kids with problems. I did not cause these problems.  Some are caused by genetics.  Some are caused by their own choices.  Me not being June Cleaver never caused anyone any problems.  I promise you that.

 

*This parenting moment has been brought to you PREDNISONE.  You're welcome.*

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Seriously, accept the kind of mom you are, whatever that means.  Kids are not homogeneous, and neither are moms.  There are benefits and drawbacks to any personality type or parenting style.  There is no one size fits all.  

 

I am such a goofball.  I embarrass my kids.  I am silly.  I don't care what people think in public.  I tell them that this prepares them for life - having such a goofy, odd mother.  Who wants to be socially acceptable all the time anyway?

 

If you have seriously made a mistake or said or done something you regret that is truly off-base or mean or in anger, then do apologize.  Don't explain "why", just apologize.  Say, "I'm sorry.  I should not have said/done that."

 

Kids are not screwed up by normal, loving parents who are trying to do their best.  I promise you, they are not.  Some are born screwed up. Some are screwed up by true abuse or neglect.  I have some kids with problems. I did not cause these problems.  Some are caused by genetics.  Some are caused by their own choices.  Me not being June Cleaver never caused anyone any problems.  I promise you that.

 

*This parenting moment has been brought to you PREDNISONE.  You're welcome.*

Preach it, sister.

 

I needed to hear this today.

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I have cleared have a wall. Of course, there is still stuff that needs to be put away, and a lot of that is still outside. The bachelor neighbor just got home. I'd better do something before the single men festivities begin...

 

But, the books...

 

And that whole toy shelf that sitting out there with a bunch of junk on it...It's kinda like this http://www.constructiveplaythings.com/category/furniture/classic-laminate-furniture/wood-laminate-two-level-low-storage-1-685dc79c782cb6aff4d6a4c1d3bc5e37, but the shelves reversed.

 

I've replaced that with a cute blue open bookshelf that used to be in dd16's room. I can't bring the toy shelf back in until I've cleared the hallway. There are three large bookshelves in the hall, along with a whole lotta other crap. One of the bookshelves will need to be thrown out (it's a long one) because the weight of books finally did it in. And it's made of wood. I can't clear the hallway until I finish the living room. Which probably won't be until tomorrow. 

 

I have to set my goals low, or I'll accomplish nothing, but low goals means slower going. Sigh.

 

#thestruggleisreal

#itsuckstobeanalmosthoarder

#istillhaven'tstartedontheclothes

#springbreakistooshort

 

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I actually came here to post a new recipe I tried today for GF biscuits. :leaving:

 

Here it is:

 

1/4 cup unsalted butter or buttery spread

3/4 cup milk (or milk substitute)

1 large egg

2 tablespoons sugar

1 cup gf flour blend of your choice (I used Bette Hagman's)

3/4 cup cornstarch

2 teaspoons xanthan gum

1 1/2 teaspoons cream of tartar

3/4 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

 

Mix all ingredients in order (wet ones first) in food processor and drop by rounded tablespoonfulls on baking sheet.  This is a very soft, sticky dough.  Bake 12-15 minutes at 425 until a bit brown on top.  

 

These are very light and fluffy, and they rise.  Everyone hearts them.

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I cooked all last summer with 2 large bowls, a wooden spoon, a spatula, a couple of knives & a cutting board, a 9x13 casserole dish, and two cookie sheets.  I made all of the usual things.  I really appreciated being free of having to care for a lot of stuff.

 

eta: and I had a soup pot

Edited by kbeal
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I just told college girl that I hope she is blessed with a three year old girl who screams "Don't spank me!!!!" at the top of her lungs while being carried out of a quiet, proper ladies' tea room because she was not allowed to keep a toothpick that had been stuck in a sandwich.  Yes, we still talk about it.  I wanted to murder her and throw her body in the ditch.  Sometimes the line between good parent and bad is not murdering anyone.

 

 

 

HA!!  Nana loves to tell the story of my (late :sad: ) brother who was waaaaay too smart and verbal waaaaaay too young.  Similar situation in which small child committed some minor transgression mandating small child's removal from the store (? I think.)  Said small child, upon seeing a dignified older gentleman approaching, threw himself to the ground and shrieked, "Don't kick me again, Mommy!" 

 

Poor Nana was mortified, but the man saw the whole thing and howled with laughter. 

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I cooked all last summer with 2 large bowls, a wooden spoon, a spatula, a couple of knives & a cutting board, a 9x13 casserole dish, and two cookie sheets.  I made all of the usual things.  I really appreciated being free of having to care for a lot of stuff.

 

eta: and I had a soup pot

 

I posted before how few cooking utensils I have. I actually had to finally get more pots. I like to cook.

 

It's the rest of the house that needs serious help.  :lol:  Remember the roach hotel commercials, "They check in, but never check out"? Yeah. My house and stuff.

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