Aelwydd Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Ok, so I know that some posters here have educated or assisted in educating children not their own. DH and I are considering offering to help a relative, who has ongoing health issues, by having her two children join our ds a couple of times a week for lessons. Today, we had a spur-of-the-moment trial run, due to a medical procedure. The two kids came over, and interacted very well with ds. Frankly, they need some consistent work, to get them both back up to speed. Which is why dh and I are thinking about offering the 2x a week shared school day. I'm hesitant only because when we teach ds about science, we are quite matter-of-fact with regard to things like speciation, natural selection, etc. Relative is not very friendly towards evolution, so when we covered our science lesson today, I made sure to put it like so: "Hey, these are terms you will need to know to have scientific literacy. You will encounter them frequently in all major branches of science. Also, many people of faith see evolution as just a way God made creation. So, please just keep that in mind while we cover this lesson." I tried very hard to be neutral and did not pit science versus religion at all. DH and I are both agnostic naturalists. The last thing we want is to cause angry conflict or confusion. Has anyone here been a similar situation, where maybe perspectives are somewhat different? Is this a bad idea altogether??? (I would appreciate if the discussion did not devolve--heh--into a debate about evolution. I'm looking for a practical perspective, how to respectfully address such differences, that sort of thing.) TIA. (Also--I may delete this post, because of the sensitive nature of it. I'm hoping to get some helpful, practical advice, but I am a bit uncomfortable even sharing what I have here.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carriede Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I think it'd be best to avoid potentially contoversial subject matter on the days the other children are there. Eta, helping out with spelling, reading, writing, and math should take priority, I'd imagine. If you feel like teaching science too, stick to topics you know the parents would approve of. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Subbing. BBL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I'd just not do science on days they come. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 With that broad of a difference in science views, I think I would stick to topics for a while that were less fraught with potential conflict - at least until you have some time teaching them under your belt and get a feel for what won't cause conflict with the parents. Earthquakes, Volcanoes, Rabbits... that sort of thing. We had an extra student two days a week while her mom was having some medical stuff done. It worked out fine, except that since she was younger, she would finish before my DD. I had to balance our workload a bit to have DD work less on those two days so the girls finished around the same time and could go off to play together. My extra student brought her work with her, so the two didn't share subjects. I ended up making one of the days our library day and we all went together. That made the juggling easier! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I just wouldn't do science with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momof3littles Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Well, long-term I think that the relative should have to make the concessions unless you can build your science into the 3 days a week the DC won't be there with you. I've never been in this situation; my only reference point for HSing other kids is the small academic co-op we participate in (secular). We design the curriculum around our goals as a group, and we are all pretty much on a similar page with respect to educational philosophy and such. I might have considered skipping that lesson just for the short period of time these kids are spending time with you, just because I wouldn't want to fan any flames if I was attempting to step in and help. But long term, I would not be comfortable having to rework my curriculum. IMO, you are still doing them a favor, so they will need to work with what you have planned. If I could fit our science into the days they aren't there, I might opt to do that and just read science books that are less of an issue for them when they are present. If this is a short term thing and they are going through a crisis, I'd look at shoving my science days to the days when they are not with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I just wouldn't do science with them. My thoughts exactly. You only have two days, so just do math, reading, writing, and some non-controversial subject on those days. Maybe engineering science and technology. I would not re-work or re-word my own instruction. I want to be truthful with my children about how I view science. I also think that given what science is, it would inevitably end up with a question that would lead to the children's learning about my views that oppose their parents. On the other hand I have no problem if someone else teaches my kids creation. They may as well know people believe that. I believe their education is strong enough to get them through. I went to a creation convention once. I never fully converted and eventually gave up trying to believe it against all evidence. But my mom let me go. I really, really respect my mom for that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daria Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I agree, I'd either skip science on those day, or during those times, or I'd have your DS do something independent, or I'd choose a noncontroversial topic. I don't know how old your DS is, but if he's younger, I wouldn't want to introduce confusion into his lessons, and if he's older there's not any reason he couldn't work independently on science things on those two days, perhaps providing you a chance to do some "catch up" lessons with the other two in reading and math. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I'm a bit surprised you had them for 1 day, spur of the moment, and already came up with this issue. It could lead to resentment on the part of the other parent that you are engineering the conflict. If you want to help, I'd either talk to the parents about what you plan to teach, or avoid the subjects you would not want taught to your kids from a different point of view. They might not mind at all and you don't have to tiptoe around it. Or they might mind VERY much. But it is sure to lead to problems if they feel you are using the opportunity to "educate" their kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiana Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I'd schedule your own science on the days they aren't there. Quite honestly as long as they're learning reading/writing/math I think they're going to be fine, and I'd focus more heavily on that on days they're with you since you mentioned they're a little behind anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elisabet1 Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 You could skip the science and leave it for the relative. I am a creationist and my husband is an evolutionist. I teach creationist science to my children and if my husband wants them to have anything else, he will have to do it. Really, the creationist science does cover evolution, but more in a dispelling way. I think it is important to discuss with the parents of these children to find out what they want. I would rather not cover one subject than step on a parents' toes over religion. I think religion is important, and would never want to risk teaching someone else's children anything contrary to their religion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I wouldn't be willing to educate someone else's kids. So there is that. I think I'd be honest and upfront about what you are teaching and do it how you want to do it. If they don't like it then they don't want your services. I would not be willing to modify something like that. On the other hand, how much is this really going to come up? We didn't spend a ton of time talking about stuff like that and we've covered a lot of science. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aelwydd Posted February 2, 2015 Author Share Posted February 2, 2015 I'm a bit surprised you had them for 1 day, spur of the moment, and already came up with this issue. It could lead to resentment on the part of the other parent that you are engineering the conflict. If you want to help, I'd either talk to the parents about what you plan to teach, or avoid the subjects you would not want taught to your kids from a different point of view. They might not mind at all and you don't have to tiptoe around it. Or they might mind VERY much. But it is sure to lead to problems if they feel you are using the opportunity to "educate" their kids. We follow a lesson plan for ds, and we usually cover science today (since I'm off work on Mondays and can cover that subject--I'm the better science teacher of dh and myself). Other kids came over today and didn't have any lesson plans or assignments. So, we had to improvise. The older child is very much into animals, bugs, and that sort of thing. We had a documentary that we thought the kids would find interesting, but the documentary mentioned these terms. Which is why I got sort of impromptu thrown into the situation. We did phonics/ spelling, math previous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aelwydd Posted February 2, 2015 Author Share Posted February 2, 2015 I wouldn't be willing to educate someone else's kids. So there is that. I think I'd be honest and upfront about what you are teaching and do it how you want to do it. If they don't like it then they don't want your services. I would not be willing to modify something like that. On the other hand, how much is this really going to come up? We didn't spend a ton of time talking about stuff like that and we've covered a lot of science. I don't know. Evolution, and science, actually touches many subjects, including the study of history, the development of language, social sciences--really there's a lot. But, I'm not interested in really going down that road with someone else's children. I think 2x a week is the best case scenario, because ds is in 6th grade, and we are beginning to touch upon things like mythology, social development, and such. I agree with most suggestions here to just avoid the topic as much as possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I would also probably rearrange the schedule to not do science with them since you're doing biology at the moment and it's likely to keep coming up. To me, this is sort of a no brainer. Of course, if you talked to the parents and said, hey, this is what you're covering, what do you want me to do...? And they said, whatever, do what you were going to do, it'll be good exposure, then I'd go with that. I think the tough issues with educating someone's kids are much tougher really - they're about rewards vs. punishments or how to create motivation or what to do with intransigence or bad behavior or stay on the path or follow rabbit trails. And they're the big skill issues - slow and steady or plow ahead, what approach to give for writing, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Unless the other parents object, I like your approach of clarifying that the majority of science books will teach XYZ, and that you are providing them with the ability to understand the books and courses that they will encounter throughout life. I would omit mention of God completely other than to reassure the other children that their own parents likely will provide them with some additional information that is useful for their family. If that non-volatile style does not work for the other parents, then with reluctance, I would omit science from their days with you. There is no need to skip science for your own children, if they are working out of ear shot of their relatives. My family is completely grounded in Christianity, but we have a responsibility to teach them what they will hear and read, as well as we have a responsibility to teach them the EO worldview. You are a kind-hearted woman to want to help this family during their struggles! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aelwydd Posted February 2, 2015 Author Share Posted February 2, 2015 Thank you everyone who answered. I appreciate the feedback. I definitely do not want to overstep boundaries. I do want to help these kids. Math and spelling and writing are the huge things right now. Also, Farrar you clearly identified maybe some half-formed thought in the back of my mind. Both kids have a lot of issues staying on task and concentrating. So the motivation factor is an open question. Dh and I had to keep redirecting, redirecting, redirecting. It was exhausting! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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