Re-using a name for baby

[imagine.more]

I'd keep looking for a name. I understand really liking the name and Lord knows we've been really stuck on baby names before but it could be problematic down the road and give the wrong impression.

 

My parents lost a son before myself and my 2 younger siblings and we always felt they loved him more. All 3 of us. And my brother especially was treated like a replacement child. It would have been immensely hurtful if they'd used the name as a first name again.

 

I wished after naming my second son Peter Isaiah that I'd used Isaiah and considered using it as a first name for another child briefly but realized that would be odd. My mom's middle name is Maureen and her mom used it as her little sister's first name. My mom doesn't even acknowledge that she has a middle name, just puts M and claims that's her full middle name because her little sister grew up to make some bad choices (drugs and abandoned her kids) and they do not get along. Not good in the long run if the two kids aren't close. Or even if they are it could just feel more like the youngest was an accident and so you had no more names left for him.

 

I once knew a guy named Kyle Andrew, what about Kyle? Or another good slightly traditional name similar to Andrew? Your other boys' names are really good, I'm sure you can choose well another time. I know it's tough to choose and boys names are harder to me, but I'm sure something else could appeal. Maybe check out the family tree way far back and see if there's a good old family name.

[Evergreen State Sue]

I know a family whose father and both sons have the same first name of John but different middle names.  They all go by the middle name.  That probably doesn't help the OP, but I thought that was an interesting way to honor someone.

[StephanieZ]

Maybe no other name feels quite right because you are still, of course, very understandably, grieving your loss. I can't know, but I'd imagine that nothing would ever feel quite right again after losing a child. Things can still be very good, even if they are never quite right. Sometimes we have to embrace the good enough.  I would choose a new name for your baby. Congratulations!!!

[Tap]

I am really tired so this is going to come across pretty blunt, and I don't mean it rudely, just saying how I feel about it.  (I am a namesake so I know how it feels to carry someone else's name)

 

Think about how the kid will feel......

 

No one should have a name that would be said with a somber explanation.  If anyone asks, do you think he will be happy to tell him/her that he is named after his deceased brother? Unless the brother did something that your child can be proud to be named after him..... then there is no honor in being named after him other than that he died young. There are a million names in the world, pick one that is unique for this child .In centuries past, people didn't have access to the world cultures and millions of names out there, so people did reuse the 100 or so names they heard around them. That isn't a problem now.  I would never give a living person a name that they had to explain with sorrow or sadness.  You need to let Andrew #1 be Andrew and not try to reuse the name again.  

 

 

[gardenmom5]

if you are comfortable with using it, and will explain to your son that it was in honor of his brother - then use it.

 

I've done a lot of genealogy of families who lost babies/young children.  names occasionally were reused.

[Jean in Newcastle]

if you are comfortable with using it, and will explain to your son that it was in honor of his brother - then use it.

 

I've done a lot of genealogy of families who lost babies/young children.  names occasionally were reused.

The problem isn't reusing it in honor of the deceased baby.  They've already done that.  A living child already has that name and they still want to reuse it.  

[gardenmom5]

The problem isn't reusing it in honor of the deceased baby. They've already done that. A living child already has that name and they still want to reuse it.

For a middle name.

Still either use it or move on.  (it's not like dear abby's and ann lander's mother.  they had the same names - reversed order.)

I also like the name. I would have used it for dudeling as a first name but dh objected. It's one of his middle names.

His first name is another language's version of another son's middle name.

 

That's an option. Andrew in a different language.

[IsabelC]

I would not have chosen to 'reuse' the first baby's name in the first place, but if I had made that choice, I would actually reuse it for every subsequent child. To me it feels like too much of an injustice that one child gets his late brother's name and another doesn't. JMO.

[Carrie12345]

I'm having a very difficult time trying to figure out how to express my thoughts when it's such a sensitive, delicate, emotional subject.  Can I ask forgiveness in advance?

 

The use of Andrew as a middle name is quite lovely, imo.

Reusing it as a first name does not sit well with me at all.

I don't know the story of Andrew's life, but most of the families I know who have lost children are very open and clear about their loss and want to make sure their lives are remembered.  So it's common for me to hear "Oh, us?  We have 3; Suzy, Johnny, and we lost our precious Tommy in '08." (Or some similar version.)  All I can imagine with reusing a first name as a first name is "Oh, we have Bobby and Sally and Joey, but the first Joey died."

 

Obviously everyone is different, but that's what pops into my head.

[poppy]

I can't answer as a mother, but I do think it's not a great idea. If it were my name, I'd not want to be named after a lost sibling.

 

So.

When in doubt, pick an apostle.   Peter, James, John, Philip, Bartholomew, Thomas, Matthew, James, Thaddeus, Simon.  (Or Judas, but, don't do Judus).

 

You'd mentioned Liam...... that's just a version of William, so perhaps that would be better?

 

 

[DawnM]

This is my thinking as well.  I wouldn't want to be named after a sister that had passed away.  Actually it would really bother me.

 

Dawn

 

 

I can't answer as a mother, but I do think it's not a great idea. If it were my name, I'd not want to be named after a lost sibling.

 

So.

When in doubt, pick an apostle.   Peter, James, John, Philip, Bartholomew, Thomas, Matthew, James, Thaddeus, Simon.  (Or Judas, but, don't do Judus).

 

You'd mentioned Liam...... that's just a version of William, so perhaps that would be better?

 

[BlsdMama]

Our daughter who died was Hannah Elizabeth.

 

The next daughter was Elizabeth Grace.

 

Could you use Andrew's middle name?

Or use Andrew again for his middle name.  I like the idea of using Andrew as the middle name for your boys as an honoring tradition.

 

I would not use the name just as I would not have two Anas, two Christians, two Elizabeths and so on down the line, we have a child with that name and it's unique to that child, but that's me. ;)  Dh wanted to use Isabelle (a form of Elizabeth) for Catherine and I didn't want to simply because they had the same meaning and I like telling my children how & why we chose each name.