Does anyone out their preschoolers in school?

[texasmama]

I'd also worry about how that would affect things when brought back home. Would they be bored, having been used to round the clock friends and planned activities? Would they clamor for school?

As a BTDT mama, I would say no and no.  Not in my experience.

[amyrobynne]

After hemming and hawing about this since January, I signed my barely 4 year old up for pre-k at our parish school. It's 11:30-2 M/W/F and he gets free bussing home. It's 5 min from my house and my older two will be able to stay home when I drop him off. This is my rule-following kid who will love circle time and doesn't mind sitting still. I've been nervous about him getting pushed aside during school time since the 5th and 3rd graders will have a lot to get through and aren't super-independent and we're adding a newborn to the mix this year. I plan to do some pre-reading and math when he's home. The class is small and taught by his Sunday school teacher that he knows and loves.

 

I would not have been willing to do anything in the early morning or far away. I considered a free 5 day pre-k run by the district that we might have been low-enough income for, but decided that was too much and we'd rather pay for fewer hours in a program we trusted.

[Dory]

My kids did preschool two days a week. My oldest started with half days until we were both comfortable. They also did kindergarten two days a week (and 1 friday a month). Those two days with them off playing with other kids allowed me to get some other things done. Once my oldest two were doing school at home I really appreciated having my youngest playing somewhere else just for a couple days. He was still part of our life and on the other three days he joined our routine, but it's hard to get everything finished with a preschooler hanging out with you.

[Mom23Boys]

All 3 of mine started at Mother's Day Out when they were babies. My MIL was the director and I worked there off and on. Homeschooling wasn't even on our radar at that point. They also stayed at the same church for both preschool and kindergarten. They went from 9:00 to 11:45 M-F, with optional "Lunch Bunch" T, W, Th, where they brought their lunch and ate and then played on the playground.

 

I brought all of them home for 1st grade. My youngest is in 2nd now, but if I had any younger ones, I would still do it that way. I have no regrets.

[madteaparty]

The other part is the more interesting activities and things going on there, as mentioned above. I don't do sensory bins (etc.) and can't handle the crafts and mess that I believe are beneficial to little ones.

Yes exactly. No sensory bins or glue here either. My daughter's school has a dedicated art house. I'm not providing that ;)

[Lucy]

Listen to your heart.  You know what you can handle and not handle.  Sometimes I think Mamas do what they can to survive and tow the line of what they are "supposed" to do, instead of doing what they hear in their hearts would be best and actually THRIVE.  I'm in that position right now with a different circumstance.  If I could do kid #4 over again, she would have loooooved going to preschool.  I wish I had given her the fun of class time and crafts instead of having her watch "my little pony" reruns while I did school with others.  I'm now so burnt out that number 5 may even go to day care.  DAY CARE!  That is how exhausted I am and overwhelmed at the thought of finishing school for the olders.  I have health issues, so I have to do what I can do - but we all have issues of various sorts and must make our decisions based on what we feel is best.  Don't listen to the naysayers.  Do what is best for the kiddos and yourself and your marriage.  There is no perfect formula.  Feel the freedom in parenting!

[catz]

Both my kids went to lovely private preschools.  If this was an extremely structured Pre-K with lots of desk time, I probably wouldn't.  But my kids both benefited greatly from attending preschool and got to do lots of fun, hands on things I just didn't have the bandwidth for at home during that time period.  They made beloved friends and we have families we are still in touch with we met there.  I saw them become more generous and empathetic to others by attending preschool.  Their preschools were 3-4X a week for 2 1/2 hours a pop.  I sent my oldest to public kindergarten, which was vastly different.  It was much less receptive to individual children and their interests and personalities, and much more butt in seat time. 

 

Sometimes as a parent, we are making the least bad decision for a period time.  If you mentally need a break, I think it's ok to give it a try.  You know your situation best. 

[mamajag]

I don't understand with it only being 3 hours and having to take and pick the children up how you gain anything exactly?

[Loowit]

All three of my children went to preschool.  I started my oldest when our plan was to go to public school for K.  By the time we decided to homeschool instead I had already registered middle for preschool.  I decided to send him because he had really been looking forward to going.  The 3 year old class was 2 mornings a week and the 4 year old class was 3 mornings.  It worked well to get a little break and it was close enough not to interrfer with school.  After a while I also started leaving oldest with MIL for art class while middle was in preschool since she lived very close to the school.  It worked very well to give me a break from all three kids.  My youngest was very high intensity and I was having a lot of problems with PPD.

 

I would do the same thing again.  All of my kids enjoyed preschool and have good memories of it.  Their teacher was wonderful.  If we were to somehow end up with another child I am not sure I would send them to preschool.  I might or might not.  Actually if we had the money I would likely have sent to boys to continue at the school for K and up but it was too expensive.  I love homeschooling, but my reason for homeschooling is to provide them with a quality education.  If I can do that better by having something fun and entertaining out of the home a few days a week for little sibling I will do it.

[boscopup]

I haven't sent a child to preschool, but my oldest did go to private school for a year and a half (K and half of 1st). One thing I haven't seen mentioned (or I might have missed it) is that you'd still have a 2 year old at home this whole time? How is it helping you to send off the 2 year old's playmates? When my oldest went to K, I was left home with a newborn and a 2 year old. My 2 year old needed MOM because his big brother wasn't around to entertain him. :willy_nilly:

 

Not sure what your kids are like (and all kids are different), but all of mine have been more difficult at 2 than 3 or 4. By 4, my kids aren't an issue with homeschooling. They have learned to play independently and just listen in on big brothers' lessons. I don't really even have to teach my K'er this year, because he heard so much the last two years and was like a little sponge.

 

I could see preschool being beneficial for you if it were a 2 or 3 day program for a few hours, with ALL of your youngest 3 gone during that time. I'm just not seeing how getting all 5 kids ready every morning to drop one or two kids off at different places (and do it all again later to pick them up) while still having your 2 year old home running amok with no playmates, which means 2 year old is pestering MOM more. It's that 2 year old stage that is so difficult in my house. My 3 year olds start to get easier (still a little in the way of homeschooling, but they're learning how to behave during school time), and 4 year olds are way easier (give them a little one-on-one time first, then send them off to play... or let them use old workbooks and "do school" to act like big brothers :D).

 

This is a season, and it will pass. Thankfully, it's hard to mess up 1st and 2nd grade. Really. Are you trying to do too much with the older two? Do your youngers have nap times at the same time? I'm sure many experienced folks could help you work out your routine to make schooling work around your littles. Again, I don't think preschool is a horrible option or anything. I just don't see how the logistics of what you proposed would be helpful to you. Frankly, all that driving and still having the most difficult youngster at home would drive me insane and stress me out completely. Sending my oldest to private school was stressful enough. My life was calmer when I pulled him out and was able to teach him, even though I had a then 18 month old (awful age for homeschooling!) and 3 year old (who is my "wild child") along for the ride. I utilized nap time heavily. We did some stuff while the youngers were awake, but they had each other to play with. If it had been my 18 month old without my 3 year old around to entertain him, I don't know what I would have done! :lol:

 

ETA: I don't do sensory bins, crafts, etc., and I don't find them necessary either. I do have crayons, paper, and scissors available, so they can draw and cut. They also play with small Legos as soon as they stop putting such things in their mouths. ;)

 

ETA2: Have you looked at Mom's Morning Out programs? They might be cheaper than preschool and able to take all 3 of the littles. They would also be play based instead of academic, in most cases.

[Upennmama]

I sent/send all my kids to a lovely, warm, Christian preschool for 3 half days a week of preschool at 3 or 4, depending on kid and circumstances. It is 3 hours per day, 3 days a week, and it's about 8 minutes from my house, so transportation isn't a big deal.  This gives me 9 hours a week to get any really teacher intensive stuff done with my biggest kids, and/or to knock out any bigger cleaning jobs. This way, when they get home they more of my undivided attention, and they love school. They have tiny classes, wonderful teachers, and lots of enrichment activities that I would never do at home. It's not seat work or worksheets, it's mostly play, snack, cleanup time, singing, poetry, playing outside on playground, etc. I felt bad for them the year I didn't send them- they got ignored a lot and were bored because teaching the olders ones took up a lot of my time and they wanted attention, too. I do believe in giving them time to play independently, and I make sure they get that, but this seems to work well for us. It probably depends on a lot of factors in a family. 

[Upennmama]

No, we never did. By the time I looked at the driving, it would have been a nightmare. Plus, we homeschool because we want our children home. Yeah, it was chaotic and hard work, but really, those years flew by. My littles learned to entertain themselves--I don't believe that children need parents hovering all the time. The little guys just came along with whatever we were doing with the big girls. Bring along a dump truck when the girls are riding. Ride with dad on the tractor for an hour when mom HAS to get some math done. Have lots and lots of blocks and Duplos and toy food and dollies and diggers, and clean it all up at the end of the day. Let them "wash" dishes. Have them paint with with an older child. Have an older child take them to do chores. You don't have to build sensory bins--have them help stuff wool when you shear and feel the cool of the cut grass in the summer. Wade in the ditch and peek in the hummingbird nest. Take them swimming and skiing. You don't have to cut out construction paper and drill them on colors--talk about it as you sort socks. You don't have to plant beans in a paper cup just to plant beans. Plant them in a garden and then EAT them. Have them draw amazing pictures to include in the college kids' mail. You don't have to take special preschool trips to the firehouse--go down with Dad on a Saturday when he's there to wash trucks anyway! Give them a sponge and let them help. Sort bolts in the shop and sweep up. Want to practice following directions? Have them get the kitchen trash and then the bathroom trash and THEN the office trash, put in in the BIG trashcan and take it all out. "Wow--you were really a help to me. Don't forget to put a new bag in the trashcan. Thank you!" You don't have to take a special preschool visit to learn the instruments of the orchestra. Include them in their big sisters' concerts and hey, Emily, the bassoon player, will let you HOLD her bassoon! Listen to every piece the olders are going to play, so when the little guys start to get wiggly at a concert, be able to whisper, "Listen for it! Here come the timpani! Isn't it amazing how FAST Jim can play! I see the flutes getting ready! It's Michelle's turn!" Don't need to take a "visit to the farm"; have the little guy help collect eggs. Yeah, sometimes he might have to sit in his carseat because you have to pull a calf. Teaches him patience. Let your 4yo spend an hour hanging out with big sister at the petting zoo when she's there to display her Jersey. (Just make sure that the local preschool doesn't try to sweep up your kid when it's time to leave!) Don't need to take a special field trip to see those animals--send the 4yo to get more shampoo when you're helping to wash 4-H sheep, with a baby on your back. You don't need to recreate a pretend store, but have him weight the grapes at the REAL store. Help mom to weigh out beans at the food co-op. Want movement activities? Have them dance to that new Joplin rag that big sis is learning. Put on Carnival of the Animals. Can you move like the elephant? Later on, when your youngest learns The Swan on her cello, she'll smile, because she remembers dancing to it. Host a Christmas play every year--maybe you'll even have an early lamb so as to have a REAL manger scene! Your big kid can write it and the next direct and invite the neighbors and let them be the donkey or whatever--pull out props from the dress-up box!The BEST preschools merely attempt to recreate a busy, loving house. So, take a few minutes and include your little guys in your day-to-day life. 

This sounds really wonderful, and I am glad for any family who can do this lifestyle. Unfortunately, my life is urban, and none of the things you talk about are relevant to me. Also, my kids are way less spaced out than yours, and you don't really get into the specifics of how to SCHOOL every day with the toddlers there. I need several hours plus per day to work with my older kids on academics, and being constantly interrupted isn't fair to them. Yes, they need to learn to be patient and flexible, but it's hard to focus when your teacher is constantly stopping. My toddlers also deserve not to spend most of their day shut into another room, or having to be pretty quiet, or playing without any parent interaction. 

 

I don't really get the judgment towards those of us who put our kids in some small, part time preschool. My kids are decent, kind, well adjusted kids. They love God and their families. They are happy to see friends and teachers at school, and happy to be at home. No one ever cries when I drop them off, they skip off to their classes happily. Who cares?

[Aspasia]

I know lots of homeschool families who send kids to preschool. My biggest reason for homeschooling is that ps is just too long--it sucks all of the kids' time so they don't have time to get bored and creative and to develop their passions. That's why I won't send older kids to ps. Preschool is only a few hours a day, so I don't feel like it runs that risk. I would happily put my 4yo in preschool if it weren't so dang expensive. I can't find anything under $150 a month. We just don't really have $150 to spare for something I consider more of a play group, you know? If I felt it were essential, we'd do it, but it feels almost like a frivolity. But seriously, if I had tons of money (or free pre-k!), I would enroll this kid in a heartbeat. And I'd REALLY love a place for dd2--that kid is a handful...but so blasted cute...but so busy...but adorable...but mischievous...

[ChrissySC]

I have done as much as the first few grades too.  I do make sure that I get them after third grade though. 

 

I have not had a problem at all with bringing them home after doing so either.  I did let them go back at least one time of their choosing as they have decided that they want the experience.  They come back with more acceptance and vigor too, LOL.

 

So, not an issue IMO.

[Reefgazer]

Both my kids went to a small private preschool from the time they were infants through kindy; they went 3-4 hours a day, 3 days/week.  It was the best thing ever for them, and the only "school" I don't regret!  It was play-based with small classes and caring teachers who were part of the community.  It had so many benefits:  it gave me time for me or to run errands unencumbered by little ones, it taught them group play/sharing/interaction (which most families can't do because they have only a few children), it exposed them to things I wouldn't/couldn't have done at home (art bins, other peoples' style and ideas), and helped them to meet other peers they would not have otherwise met (they are still friends with some of these kids and I am still friends with the parents).  I actually think it's a terrific option, whether you eventually wind up homeschooling them or not.  The fact that's it's only 3 hours a day is a huge benefit, IMO.  Long enough to give you a chunk of time, not long enough for real peer orientation to happen.

 

ETA:  I ran into Judgy McJudgersons all the time when my kids were little for sending them to preschool.  I was told I was a SAHM and didn't "need" to do that, or that the kids belonged home with me.  Ignore it and do what is best for you and your family. 

[Lang Syne Boardie]

It seems to me we've gone from judging moms who do use preschool to judging homeschool moms who don't. Which is stupid. I especially don't understand the smackdowns about how much easier it is to have 7 kids over 10 years versus 5 kids over 7 years or whatever. LOL A big family is a big family, and of course people have different ways of dealing, different needs, etc. The idea of anybody telling Margaret it was easier for her has me laughing my head off. Margaret, tell us another story about life on the ranch with a bunch of homeschooled little kids! :lol:

 

Margaret and others didn't catch that it was a JAWM post. They thought it was a query that would have been more familiar to those of us over a certain age who are veteran hs'ers which is, "How do I manage with little ones at home and have everybody learning and happy (including myself)?" So that's what they answered.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I'm glad you had such a lovely time.

 

From your signature, it looks as if you had five children in ~14 years, whereas the OP has had the same number in ~7 years.   As someone whose children's ages are just a bit more spread out than hers, I'd have to say that "15, 12, 6, 4, 1" and "7, 6, 3, 2, 1" are very different situations.   

 

With the first one, your life is full of big kid and older family activities, and you can fit the younger ones in.

 

With the second one, you're basically running a nursery, and trying to slot the older ones in.  You're trying to teach them to do chores and take care of everyday needs, which will be worth it in the long run, but they still need so much supervision and instruction that it more or less cancels out any practical help for now.  And none of them can be left alone in the house, let alone babysit siblings, even while you go to the store for 15 minutes.  Just about everything you're doing, all day, revolves around the needs of small children.  

 

It's not just the amount of work; it's the potential for feeling isolated (or just plain bonkers), and like you're in a tunnel with no end in sight.   In some ways, my life is easier now that my eldest is 10 than it was when she was 5, even though we have more children.   

 

And we did try putting her, and the 4 year old, in school that year.  It turned out not to be worth it, but that's not because so many things were going on at home for them to be part of.  No riding lessons, orchestra concerts, or newborn lambs here.  More like broken plastic ride-on toys, trying to keep the children from smearing the piano with peanut butter, and chasing the cat off the rug before she coughed up a hairball.   :D

 

You do realize that Margaret had to go through the bunch-of-littles-with-no-bigs-at-home phase for lots of years before her elder children got big enough to be the big kids with younger tagalongs, right? I daresay she knows about the supervision, instruction and care that a houseful of young children require because...that's exactly what she had.

 

Seriously!

[texasmama]

they homeschooled their older one but the younger one needed so much

reported

[Meadowlark]

Well, after 2 days of camping with these 5 little ones....I'm back (thank God I might add!) to clear up just a few things about my original post. It may have read to be a JAWM post, but that is not why I wrote. I did say a few times that the 3 year old preschool for my oldest worked well for us, BUT this is a completely different situation altogether and although we had a positive outcome in the past, our current family dynamics are so different and different factors need to be taken into consideration.

 

I mostly wrote just to see if this is a choice that homeschoolers ever consider, and if it was successful for your family. We are still very much on the fence about it and all of your responses are very helpful. I know we have some wrinkles to iron out and I have a few tricks up my sleeve for things to try this year, but it's been great to hear that many of you have had fabulous experiences with preschool. Some of you would never consider it, and I understand that too. We're all different and have different ideas which is why I love these boards. I read every single post but couldn't respond to them all....but thanks again for taking the time to chime in with your own experience!

[ElizaG]

You do realize that Margaret had to go through the bunch-of-littles-with-no-bigs-at-home phase for lots of years before her elder children got big enough to be the big kids with younger tagalongs, right? I daresay she knows about the supervision, instruction and care that a houseful of young children require because...that's exactly what she had.

 

Seriously!

Well, no, I don't realize that.   Unless my math skills have declined even more than I thought, her signature says that her first two children are about three years apart, and the next one came six years later.   That's nine years to get used to motherhood and homeschooling, and develop family routines, without what most people would consider a "houseful" of young children. 

 

I'm not making assumptions about who has things harder overall, because who knows what any other family's challenges and resources are?   I have a hard enough time getting a realistic sense of my own.   But speaking from personal experience, there's a very different feel even between having children 2.5 and 1.5 years apart.  I wouldn't wish for mine to be any more widely spaced than they are, because it's what we're all used to here, and there are special joys and advantages in each configuration.   It's just that, among the families I've known with several children all aged 7 and under (and there have been quite a few in our circles), doing many of the activities that were mentioned so casually in the PP would have been only a slightly less big deal than planning a trip to Mars.   ;)   

 

Anyway, I'm glad the OP has found the thread helpful, whatever she ends up choosing to do.   :001_smile: