Another neighbor advice question!

[AndyJoy]

We live on a normally quiet cul-de-sac. Our newly-licensed, just-graduated teenage neighbor has taken to accelerating far beyond the speed limit and pealing out around the circle every time he comes home before parking at the curb. DH just mentioned it yesterday and questioned whether it might be prudent to say something to him or his dad.

 

Then today we had a yard sale and he did it again with a half-dozen extra cars parked on the street and small kids out and about. Several people looked up in alarm and wondered aloud at his driving. When DH got home he went over and spoke to neighbor dad, who basically politely blew him off.

 

What would you do if it happens again? If I hadn't been too busy right then I would have said, "Dude! Drive safely so you don't kill anyone or I'll call the police next time." Would you warn him like this or just call next time?

[Halftime Hope]

I would call the police now, and tell them what happened today and the father's reaction.  Around here, they would come out and have a chat with the boy.  Ask the police not to mention the chat with the father, as that would ID you.  

 

The fact that the boy did it with many cars and pedestrians in the street escalates it from mere foolishness to reckless driving.

 

 

 

ETA:  The poster added additional information downthread, that might make it reasonable for her to have a quiet chat with the boy first, depending on his prior demeanor.  For those reading, my recommendation to call the police was based on the original description of the father as blowing off Op's husband.

[jhschool]

Call the police's non-emergency number and report this.

This young man should be spoken to and his father should be

told of the liability and fines, since obviously the thought of

hitting small children either hasn't deterred them or they just

don't think it's possible.

[AndyJoy]

Got more detail: DH says the dad was slightly sheepish, "Yeah, I know he goes a bit fast...what can you do?". DH answered that rhetorical question with, "Take the car away." to which dad said,"I guess I could..." LAME

 

Definitely scary. I will definitely call I was just trying to decide if DH or I should speak to him directly since dad may not even bother. Besides my 4-year-old we have a very free-range 7-year-old with poor impulse control and a lack of common sense in the area. I'm really worrried about her safety!

[ErinE]

Where I used to live, my older next door neighbor often let the teenagers know that she would call the police if they didn't slow down. Standing on her front porch and clutching a handheld phone, she'd shout (in a heavy Jersey accent) some combination of young kids all around, driving too fast, you're going to kill someone some day, do it again and I'll call the cops. Once warned, the teens didn't drive fast in her eyesight. I miss her.

 

I don't know what I'd do without her to do the heavy lifting, If I'd known the teen awhile, I probably would say something directly to him, especially since you have young kids.

[Catwoman]

I would speak directly to the kid if you know him and think he's pretty nice, and let him know you realize it's fun to do that, but it's very dangerous to do it where little kids might be playing. I wouldn't be a jerk about it at first, because unless he's a very wild kid, he might respond better to a friendly conversation than to yelling (and calling the police would seem a bit extreme if you haven't even asked him to stop, particularly if he's an otherwise good kid.)

 

If he has always been a troublemaker, call the police and let them handle it, but if he's just a new driver who is too clueless to realize the danger in what he probably views as nothing more than a fun thing to do, I'd try talking to him first and give him a chance to knock it off.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I would get a couple of those "caution children at play" signs and would put them out as a visual reminder for all drivers.  http://www.rakuten.com/prod/safety-man-caution-sign/216917432.html?listingId=322224189&scid=pla_google_Toys%22R%22Us&Babies%22R%22Us&adid=18183&gclid=CjgKEAjwzcWcBRCat43fy9e5i3ASJADXOBwuYwfvDIatyT3poCfCg5jvkYT-  

 

If I knew the boy I would talk to the teen.  If I didn't know him or he was snarky in general I wouldn't bother.

 

If the behavior continued I would call the police non-emergency line as others suggested.  

 

I might ask the city to consider putting in a speed bump as a traffic calming device.  

[Sara in AZ]

I would speak directly to the kid if you know him and think he's pretty nice, and let him know you realize it's fun to do that, but it's very dangerous to do it where little kids might be playing. I wouldn't be a jerk about it at first, because unless he's a very wild kid, he might respond better to a friendly conversation than to yelling (and calling the police would seem a bit extreme if you haven't even asked him to stop, particularly if he's an otherwise good kid.)

 

If he has always been a troublemaker, call the police and let them handle it, but if he's just a new driver who is too clueless to realize the danger in what he probably views as nothing more than a fun thing to do, I'd try talking to him first and give him a chance to knock it off.

I agree with Cat. Talk to the boy directly. When I was a young driver I used to take a 90 degree bend on parent's street too fast for the comfort of the neighbors. Someone kindly talked to me about it, and I was a lot more careful after that. Even 20 years later I'm still a bit embarrassed about it when I see that neighbor!

[AndyJoy]

I don't know him well--he is pretty non-communicative in my presence though a couple years ago he used to sweetly let DS play basketball with him. His younger brother always chats with me and is very polite. The "Dude.." comment would come out more like how I would get the attention of one of my Jr. high students in a slightly friendly way rather than crotchety neighbor screaming "Slow down you whippersnapper!" :)

 

I know his parents have had problems with him lying about his whereabouts, shirking household duties, and coming home late but he strikes me as more apathetic or unmotivated than out of control in general. They left the two of them for 3 nights recently and let us know there would be adults checking in and any parties were not authorized :). I think they said this in their presence for extra security.

 

I don't think it would be too scary to just speak to him as a concerned mom. "Hey X, it freaks me out when you drive in so fast. It would be so easy to hit one of the neighborhood kids." I'll see how that goes since I'm not sure the message will get to him from his dad.

[Pawz4me]

If you don't want to confront him I'd call the non-emergency number for your police department.  Here they've been very helpful with things like that.  Typically they'll just have an officer park in the neighborhood on and off for a week or so to kind of remind people that they're watching.  If you can give them a time when the boy usually comes home/leaves it would be helpful.

 

True story -- We had a state highway patrolman who used to live in the neighborhood and he was the absolute worst for leaving in his patrol car (not in an emergency situation) in an extremely fast, unsafe manner.  He stomped the accelerator so hard you could hear the engine roaring all over the neighborhood.  The HOA had to call the police department and get them to come have a chat with the highway patrol guy.  He was only renting, and he eventually moved.  The thinking is that he didn't appreciate anyone complaining about his driving. 

[Kathryn]

True story -- We had a state highway patrolman who used to live in the neighborhood and he was the absolute worst for leaving in his patrol car (not in an emergency situation) in an extremely fast, unsafe manner. He stomped the accelerator so hard you could hear the engine roaring all over the neighborhood. The HOA had to call the police department and get them to come have a chat with the highway patrol guy. He was only renting, and he eventually moved. The thinking is that he didn't appreciate anyone complaining about his driving.

We had the very same problem. He and his wife separated and he is the one that left. I've noticed that when he drives a normal car to come see his child, he doesn't speed.

[Spryte]

I'm glad you're going to talk to him.  It sounds like he will be responsive.

 

Not to terrify you, but my mom's very quiet neighborhood had a sad situation several years ago. A teenager driving too fast hit and killed a child.  I don't remember the details, only that the teen was driving way too fast for a neighborhood, and the horrible sadness for both families that I felt...

 

 

[KatieJ]

Neighbor across the street from us used to keep license plate numbers of the speeders in that came down our street. I don't know if he actually ever called the cops on them or not.

When our kids learned to drive we had many talks with them about using utmost caution when coming and going out if the neighborhood.

But yes for sure talk to the kid and if there is no change call the cops .

[Guest]

Definitely have a talk with him.  I myself wouldn't be above standing out with a cell phone camera and recording it for evidence if it doesn't stop.  Can't argue with video. ;)