Ask people who live overseas....

[Laura Corin]

Over the years I've had a lot of questions put to me about how to move overseas - jobs, homeschooling, visas, social issues, language, re-entry, etc.  

 

I'm happy to answer any queries you may have.  For reference, I've lived in the UK, France, China, Hong Kong, Taiwan and the USA.

 

L

[Heather in Neverland]

Oh great idea!!! I can help a little, although I've only been overseas 5 years and only in Malaysia.

 

NO I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE PLANE IS.

 

Sorry. People back home keep asking me that. It's weird.

[Kathryn]

Oh great idea!!! I can help a little, although I've only been overseas 5 years and only in Malaysia.

 

NO I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE PLANE IS.

 

Sorry. People back home keep asking me that. It's weird.

Really? That's weird. That people ask you that, not that you don't know where it is.

[Heather in Neverland]

Really? That's weird. That people ask you that, not that you don't know where it is.

I know, right? How would I have some inside information? Just because I live in Malaysia? Well, they don't know where it is either!

 

One woman I know was having a big FB debate about the situation with the plane and all the various theories and she posted "I'll ask my friend Heather about it. She lives in Malaysia so she will know."

 

Um, what?

[Amira]

It's funny the weird things people ask you when you've lived in other countries or speak other languages. After I came back from the Middle East the first time and was studying Arabic, I got so tired of people asking if I was trying to become a terrorism expert. No one wanted to hear about the food, or the architecture, or the people, or anything else. This was before 9/11, so I can only imagine it got a lot worse later.

[DawnM]

Everyone in Malaysia knows where the plane is.  It is a huge cover up by everyone there.  We all know it, just fess up.

 

 

I know, right? How would I have some inside information? Just because I live in Malaysia? Well, they don't know where it is either!

One woman I know was having a big FB debate about the situation with the plane and all the various theories and she posted "I'll ask my friend Heather about it. She lives in Malaysia so she will know."

Um, what?

 

[Laura Corin]

It's funny the weird things people ask you when you've lived in other countries or speak other languages. After I came back from the Middle East the first time and was studying Arabic, I got so tired of people asking if I was trying to become a terrorism expert. No one wanted to hear about the food, or the architecture, or the people, or anything else. This was before 9/11, so I can only imagine it got a lot worse later.

 

People in the West always ask if I can use chopsticks.  The first day I arrived in China in 1985 and there wasn't a fork or spoon on the table, I learned to use chopsticks.  Learning the language took a bit longer.....

 

Chinese people in China asked about chopsticks too.  Mysterious.

 

L

[Amira]

It would be lovely if learning languages were as easy as using chopsticks. Dh has never been a fan, but my children and I have never had a problem using chopsticks, even when they were little and trying them for the first time.

[DragonFaerie]

I would love to move to Ireland, but I haven't the faintest idea how to do it.  The only information I've been able to find online is that I either have to be independently wealthy or be skilled in a highly desirable field, neither of which apply to me. Am I misreading something or is it really that limited?

[FaithManor]

I would love to move to Ireland, but I haven't the faintest idea how to do it.  The only information I've been able to find online is that I either have to be independently wealthy or be skilled in a highly desirable field, neither of which apply to me. Am I misreading something or is it really that limited?

Some countries really are extremely limited. It is VERY hard to move to Iceland right now. I kind of don't blame them. They have a nice thing going....uber low crime, nobody hating them on the world scene except for the occasional angst over their Minke whale hunting, nobody wants to hurt them, the entire country is very homogenous culturally and religiously so people get along well, lots of freedom, well educated kids, ...if they open up immigration and let a lot of people come - though there probably aren't that many that want to move so close to the arctic circle - then they'll open up a host of issues as people import their own ideals and home country's problems to the island. If I had what they have, I think I'd circle the wagons too!

 

We looked at Thailand. Dh was offered a job there, and it was the year that eldest ds was a freshman, dd had already graduated was well on her way in college and had her EMT license so we thought it was a good time to go. We really wanted it. BUT!! His mom had a neurological episode and we felt we needed to take her. We couldn't get a residency visa for her as a retired person. Had she been willing to go back into nursing, then she could have gotten a work visa. But, she couldn't work and needed someone to keep an eye on her health problems. So, we ended up staying. I could only get in as a non-working adult due to being a dependent of dh's.

 

We are looking at retiring to Belize which is not that hard to do in the grand scheme of things.

 

I'm looking forward to this thread.

 

Laura, first give us a synopsis of how you ended up in China and then UK. I know you spent some time in France at one point, but my memory has lapsed so I need a refresher.

 

Heather, how did you and your hubby hear about the job openings in Malaysia and when you seek to fill a position at the school, approximately how long does it take to get all of the paperwork done so you can bring the family over? Do you arrange for their housing or do they move into a hotel and then look for their own place? How much are they allowed to bring?

[Annie G]

So I live in the US and always have. I've lived in this town for 20 years but still people see us as outsiders. Is it like that where you are now? Or anywhere else you have lived?  It kind of drives me nuts. We moved from Atlanta 20 years ago so those people don't consider us Atlantans, but neither do the folks here!

 

[Arcadia]

Chinese people in China asked about chopsticks too. Mysterious.

 

My boys get asked too and we are chinese. Its like fork holding chinese kids aren't chinese enough because using chopsticks is part of our cultural heritage. Chopsticks sets are given as gifts. Chopsticks holders are beautiful too.

 

There is also the symbolism of chopsticks being always a pair, kind of like mandarin ducks, for weddings.

 

My boys use chopsticks for sushi too anyway because they dont want to dirty their hands.

 

We get a lesson in physics (levers, fulcrum) when our elders teach us how to use chopsticks. My hubby did the same to our boys.

[Laura Corin]

I would love to move to Ireland, but I haven't the faintest idea how to do it.  The only information I've been able to find online is that I either have to be independently wealthy or be skilled in a highly desirable field, neither of which apply to me. Am I misreading something or is it really that limited?

 

I don't know about Ireland in particular, but if you see it from other countries' point of view: why would they welcome extra people unless they can bring special skills or capital?  Most European countries are small and fairly densely populated, and unemployment rates can sometimes be an issue.

 

 

Laura, first give us a synopsis of how you ended up in China and then UK. I know you spent some time in France at one point, but my memory has lapsed so I need a refresher.

 

 

Well, I'm actually from the UK.  So it went: degree in French with a year abroad teaching in France.  Year in Beijing whilst waiting for PhD place to come up.  Year teaching in Paris in order to prepare for PhD.  Decide that French is not the thing, so move to Taiwan to continue with Chinese (five years).  Meet Husband there.  Move to California together (two years).  He takes job in London, so move there (two years).  Job evaporates so move to Hong Kong for job (seven years).  Tired of Hong Kong, move to south west China (five years).  Take transfer to Scotland in order to set up children for university in the West (five years so far).

 

So I live in the US and always have. I've lived in this town for 20 years but still people see us as outsiders. Is it like that where you are now? Or anywhere else you have lived?  It kind of drives me nuts. We moved from Atlanta 20 years ago so those people don't consider us Atlantans, but neither do the folks here!

 

If you are living overseas, you will always be a foreigner.  Sometimes that's easier than just being 'from somewhere else' in your own country - no one expects you to fit in if you are foreign.  You will also find other people who are expatriates and who support each other.

 

L

[FaithManor]

Annie, we live in a town where if your parents weren't raised here as well as yourself, then you're an outsider.

 

I left for college and was gone for 19 years. They acted like I'd never left. People still talk to me like this, "You remember when Fred got hurt tearing down the ole' Bierlein barn?' Umm no, again I was gone for nearly two decades. But, they are always shocked, always, always, always shocked that I don't know these things.

 

One of these days it's going to FINALLY click, and then I'm going to be an outsider. They aren't friendly with outsiders. Dh only gets treated well because they think of him as "one of us" because he married me.

 

Dh doesn't know where he's from, LOL. He was born in Colorado and lived there five years, moved to California - lived their five years, moved to Seattle - lived there four years, moved to Florida - lived there four years - went to college in Ohio, married me and moved to Indiana where we lived for four years, then we moved to Oregon one year, back to Florida one year, moved to Michigan and lived in another location for twelve years, and then landed here now for seven years. He's a nomad, LOL and everyone thinks his family was military because of it. Nope, they just liked to change jobs often and see new places.

 

I would imagine that moving to another country pretty much makes you an outsider forever if you weren't born and raised there because it's not your first culture or language. But, I could be wrong. I would hope that other countries are more welcoming than the U.S. In all our moves, I we never once landed in a friendly, out going to new people, place.

 

Come Heather and Laura....good questions here! :001_smile:

[Heather in Neverland]

Heather, how did you and your hubby hear about the job openings in Malaysia and when you seek to fill a position at the school, approximately how long does it take to get all of the paperwork done so you can bring the family over? Do you arrange for their housing or do they move into a hotel and then look for their own place? How much are they allowed to bring?

1. The school we work for was originally part of the Christian and Missionary Alliance network. We used to attend a CMA church. We saw the job openings on their website. It's actually a much longer story but that's the short version. :)

 

2. We try to complete all our hiring by March and new staff arrive in mid-July. The school has a company that we pay to handle all your visa paperwork. That's part of the employment package.

 

3. We arrange for fully furnished housing. It is ready for you the day you arrive. That's actually part of my dh's job as director of facilities.

 

4. We give RM6600 to a family moving here for shipping expenses. That is about $2200. You can bring as much as you'd like but if it goes over $2200 it costs you out of pocket. Or you can bring very little and keep the cash! That's what most people do.

[Heather in Neverland]

So I live in the US and always have. I've lived in this town for 20 years but still people see us as outsiders. Is it like that where you are now? Or anywhere else you have lived? It kind of drives me nuts. We moved from Atlanta 20 years ago so those people don't consider us Atlantans, but neither do the folks here!

Yes and no. There is a huge expat community here so we have lots of other people just like us. The locals are very friendly but still refer to us as foreigners. The longer you stay and the more you invest in the local community the more at home you feel here. They even give us "local price" now when we shop!

[Amira]

 

If you are living overseas, you will always be a foreigner.  Sometimes that's easier than just being 'from somewhere else' in your own country - no one expects you to fit in if you are foreign.  You will also find other people who are expatriates and who support each other.

 

 

 

This is something I like about living in other countries.  I can't fit in so no one minds when I don't do things they way they expect me to.

[Annie G]

Yes and no. There is a huge expat community here so we have lots of other people just like us. The locals are very friendly but still refer to us as foreigners. The longer you stay and the more you invest in the local community the more at home you feel here. They even give us "local price" now when we shop!

 

 

Yeah, that's what I mean. Sounds like you're being accepted, even though you're obviously a foreigner.   Our two youngest want to move outside the US and we're kind of worried how well they'll be accepted. I know they'll never be considered natives, but being accepted would be a big help.  In our little town, being considered an outsider after 2 decades is annoying.   When dh got on the board of directors at a local nonprofit, it was kind of a big stink because he was an *outsider*.  

[Kate in Arabia]

So I live in the US and always have. I've lived in this town for 20 years but still people see us as outsiders. Is it like that where you are now? Or anywhere else you have lived? It kind of drives me nuts. We moved from Atlanta 20 years ago so those people don't consider us Atlantans, but neither do the folks here!

We are outsiders, and even in the expat community we are in the minority as Americans. But there is near overwhelming appreciation by the local population of us as Americans; I live in a smaller city and I still run into people occasionally who have never met an American Muslim, and being able to speak the language is an enormous bonus. It is very, very easy to get by only knowing English here, but knowing Arabic has been a help on a local-societal level.

[mirth]

Sound like you were in Taiwan in 1989 and back in China way after that.  Did you feel that the people in China had less knowledge or ascribed less significance to the student protetsts of 1989 than the people of Taiwan?  Also, I've seen American TV interviews where Chinese college students claim not to recognize any footage/photos from 1989 (like the famous one of the guy staring at a tank behind him) but for some reason I just don't believe it.  Is it better just not to talk about it over there?

 

Thank you!

[Amira]

Yeah, that's what I mean. Sounds like you're being accepted, even though you're obviously a foreigner.   Our two youngest want to move outside the US and we're kind of worried how well they'll be accepted. I know they'll never be considered natives, but being accepted would be a big help.  In our little town, being considered an outsider after 2 decades is annoying.   When dh got on the board of directors at a local nonprofit, it was kind of a big stink because he was an *outsider*.  

 

I have different expectations as an expat of what it means to be accepted. I've felt very welcome in Guadalajara, always, even if I will always be an outsider. Just having everyone on the street say hello to me and tell me good morning means a lot to me.

 

It was different in the small town in Kyrgyzstan we lived in because there were so few foreigners there, and people there in general aren't as friendly as they are in Mexico.  But it was a diverse town (Kyrgyz, Uzbeks, Uyghurs, Chechens, Dungans, Russians, and more) so we didn't totally stick out and people were always kind.  We were called foreigners a lot, but I felt accepted when I discovered our neighbors defended us from accusations of being spies. :)

 

 I don't expect to be treated like a local to be accepted. I have almost never encountered open hostility, resentment, or suspicion anywhere I've lived and that's good enough for me.

 

It can be very different for children though depending on what they do for school.

[Amira]

I have some questions for overseas people!  We're figuring out where we're going to move next and have lots of choices, so if you've lived in or know a lot about any of these places, please tell me about them.  If you're lurking, I'd especially like to hear from you. :) I have other expat friends to ask, but I've learned it's important to talk to a variety of expats because everyone is overseas for different reasons.

 

Saudi Arabia- can someone compare Riyadh, Jeddah, and Dhahran?

 

India- would you choose Mumbai or New Delhi and why?

 

Turkey- I'd love to live in Istanbul, but is Ankara a good place to live?

 

Can anyone tell me about Jakarta and/or Bangkok?

 

What about Jamaica?

 

I think that's all for now. :)

 

 

[Ohdanigirl]

I have different expectations as an expat of what it means to be accepted. I've felt very welcome in Guadalajara, always, even if I will always be an outsider. Just having everyone on the street say hello to me and tell me good morning means a lot to me.

Wow, you had a very different experience from me. After moving to Mexico years ago, we dealt with people being cold, cautious, and outright rude to us. There were times when my children would be playing with other children, and the parents would walk up to their kids and tell them not to play with Americans. I even had someone say flat out to me that my kids must have done something wrong once because they were Americans and Americans don't raise their kids properly.

 

It was very difficult for all of us, especially my young boys. I learned to turn the other cheek, always reminded the kids to say hi to everyone who passed by them, or when walking into a room or store. I insisted they do it, even when people did not respond. Eventually, we won everyone over. Most of the neighbors even acknowledged their mistreatment of us, and seemed remorseful. They would say things like, we love our little American boys, and defended our kids in many situations.

 

I believe our difficulties stemmed from us being of Mexican culture. We looked like we belonged in Mexico but behaved differently. American's of Mexican heritage don't have the best reputation. They are often seen as rude, un-cultured gang members that make all Mexicans look bad. After having lived in Mexico for many years, I am able to see why Mexican's hold that stereotype, but also recognize that is only slowly opening up to differences.

 

All this to say, if you look like the culture you are going to be living within, don't assume that will make it easier. It can add to the difficulties.

[Heather in Neverland]

I've been to Bangkok several times and I really like it there! The food is amazing and there is so much to do! But the traffic is absolutely horrendous. Truly. And it is even hotter than it is here. But I do know of some good international schools there!

[Laura Corin]

Sound like you were in Taiwan in 1989 and back in China way after that.  Did you feel that the people in China had less knowledge or ascribed less significance to the student protetsts of 1989 than the people of Taiwan?  Also, I've seen American TV interviews where Chinese college students claim not to recognize any footage/photos from 1989 (like the famous one of the guy staring at a tank behind him) but for some reason I just don't believe it.  Is it better just not to talk about it over there?

 

Thank you!

 

I'm not actually the right person to ask: Chinese people in China didn't touch on political subjects with me, except the first year when I was there.

 

L

[Amira]

Wow, you had a very different experience from me. After moving to Mexico years ago, we dealt with people being cold, cautious, and outright rude to us. There were times when my children would be playing with other children, and the parents would walk up to their kids and tell them not to play with Americans. I even had someone say flat out to me that my kids must have done something wrong once because they were Americans and Americans don't raise their kids properly.

 

It was very difficult for all of us, especially my young boys. I learned to turn the other cheek, always reminded the kids to say hi to everyone who passed by them, or when walking into a room or store. I insisted they do it, even when people did not respond. Eventually, we won everyone over. Most of the neighbors even acknowledged their mistreatment of us, and seemed remorseful. They would say things like, we love our little American boys, and defended our kids in many situations.

 

I believe our difficulties stemmed from us being of Mexican culture. We looked like we belonged in Mexico but behaved differently. American's of Mexican heritage don't have the best reputation. They are often seen as rude, un-cultured gang members that make all Mexicans look bad. After having lived in Mexico for many years, I am able to see why Mexican's hold that stereotype, but also recognize that is only slowly opening up to differences.

 

All this to say, if you look like the culture you are going to be living within, don't assume that will make it easier. It can add to the difficulties.

 

I'm sorry it was so hard for you!  You're making me feel grateful we've had such and easy time here.  I definitely agree that looking like everyone else around you can make it much harder to live in another country.

[Wilma]

How can I talk my husband into moving overseas!??  I have a terrible bad travel bug and he has zero desire to go anywhere.

 

Was expat living always part of your plan?  Did one of you have to convince the other?  Was it difficult to decide where to go? 

 

What do you miss most from your home culture?  Do you feel weird when you're back "home"?  Do your kids identify more with the culture you're currently living in, or your "home" culture? 

[Arcadia]

Did you feel that the people in China had less knowledge or ascribed less significance to the student protetsts of 1989 than the people of Taiwan?  Also, I've seen American TV interviews where Chinese college students claim not to recognize any footage/photos from 1989 (like the famous one of the guy staring at a tank behind him) but for some reason I just don't believe it. 

 

If you are talking about the Tiananmen incident, my aunt was holidaying with friends in another province of China and knew nothing about it until she came home and read the newspaper.  We tried contacting her when news broke out and when we finally contacted her, there was no mention of the incident where she is so she was blissfully unaware.

Politics is not coffee table talk there and I have not met a fellow Chinese here (regardless of country of origin) who would chat politics with a stranger. We'll probably make small talk on the latest sales or where to buy the cheapest food produce.

 

China is a very big country and the local province papers don't sensationalise news like the Tiananmen. I can't remember if China has gossip  newspapers, I know Hong Kong and Taiwan does.  While internet is easily available in the big cities like Beijing, Shanghai or in industrial parks,  in the less densely populated areas, internet was not so accessible then.

Taiwan television news and newspapers are interesting and always have been.

 

For example,  I am in California and most times I only read news that is about events in SF Bay Area.  I skim through other news when I am bored but most times I ready don't bother.  If there is a riot or protest in LA, I won't even know about it unless it made my local newspaper headlines.  There are also people who only read their city's local free newspaper.  If it is Beijing college students, they probably do not wish to discuss politics with news reporters. If it is college students from other cities, then it could be they really weren't reading non-local news.

[Arcadia]

 

Was expat living always part of your plan?  Did one of you have to convince the other?  Was it difficult to decide where to go? 

 

What do you miss most from your home culture?  Do you feel weird when you're back "home"?  Do your kids identify more with the culture you're currently living in, or your "home" culture? 

 

We moved here because of hubby not finding a job he liked back home.  I was already a SAHM so it was easy to move for his work.  Since we went to where his job offer was, we didn't have to decide where to go.  We didn't plan to be expats but both hubby and I were used to long overseas work trips.  So we weren't adverse to being expats.

 

There is a big Chinese population in Silicon Valley so it wasn't so bad for us.  Buying Chinese spices, dining at Chinese restaurants, availability of Chinese story books and DVDs in the public libraries, plenty of Chinese classes (language, music, calligraphy, brush painting) to pick from all help make the decision easier.

 

I miss the variety of food, the diversity of cultures, the multilingualism, the wonderful public transport system so no one needs to drive.  I actually miss the public school system back home.  I also miss the bustling craziness of being in a densely populated country.

I don't feel weird when I am back home and my kids feel at ease there.  They blend in perfectly as locals in terms of behavior until they speak English with a slight American accent. Of course their pathetic Chinese give them away too as most kids are at least bilingual back home.  

 

My kids don't identify with either country's culture but they identify as Chinese.

[Mrs Mungo]

I have to agree that is easier to be the foreigner in another country than to be the "outsider" in many places in the US. When we lived in Germany, I volunteered with a local group and had local friends. We had also had single friends with local girlfriends. We were invited out more often than I have ever been invited out by locals of any American town, even though the locals in those towns were well aware that we were new, without family around, etc.

 

It is much more difficult, IMO, to break into local society in the US. More people in the US enjoy being the big fish in small ponds and don't like outsiders coming in to take the shine off of them.

 

I think you always miss your "home" culture, whether you move within the US or abroad. But, once you love somewhere, then you will always miss pieces of all of your homes.

[Laura Corin]

Was expat living always part of your plan?  Did one of you have to convince the other?  Was it difficult to decide where to go? 

 

What do you miss most from your home culture?  Do you feel weird when you're back "home"?  Do your kids identify more with the culture you're currently living in, or your "home" culture? 

 

Husband and I met overseas.  He had developed a passion for Chinese philosophy at university, and that led to his learning Mandarin.  I had taken a gap year teaching in Beijing in 1985/6 and become interested in the language and culture.  As we met in Taiwan, we were already set on expat living.

 

When I was overseas I missed books in English (not always highly available) and a few foodstuffs.

 

We are now living in my home country and Husband is a naturalised Brit.  Calvin is not sure where he is 'from'.  Hobbes is much more Brit, because he moved 'back' when he was only eight.  

 

L

[Amira]

Was expat living always part of your plan? Did one of you have to convince the other? Was it difficult to decide where to go?

 

What do you miss most from your home culture? Do you feel weird when you're back "home"? Do your kids identify more with the culture you're currently living in, or your "home" culture?

Dh and I met while we we studying Arabic in the Middle East so we started off knowing we wanted to live in different countries. He'd already lived in Germany and Uruguay for years and I was ready to get out of the US often.

 

Choosing where to go depends on so many things. :)

 

My older two children very definitely miss the US and identify as American and wish we lived there. The oldest in particular feels that way. But he also misses Kyrgyzstan and would go back there. My youngest just comfortably settles into whatever place we're living and makes it his home culture.

 

I rarely miss anything from the US now that there are ebooks. I sorely missed libraries when I was in the Middle East in the 90s and in Bishkek the first time. I miss some food. Why is it that Mexico has no decent chocolate? I like the table chocolate, but I haven't had decent dark chocolate in a long time. But I spend more time missing food from other places I've lived rather than the US.

[DawnM]

As an American child growing up overseas, I can handle this one.

 

I didn't fit in either place ultimately!  

 

I fit in with our little enclave of people who were considered Ex-pats.  I had friends who were Kenyan but who also felt they identified with our little group of friends.

 

Once I graduated high school I came back to the States.  Alone.  I had a VERY hard time.  I went to a small Christian college and thank goodness, because I found all the Missionary Kids within 4 days.  I kid you not.  It didn't matter where we had grown up, we had something much bigger in common than any of that.  

 

I still don't always fit in with Americans.  I just don't.  My best friends are still those who lived overseas.  I don't feel fully American nor do I feel Kenyan.  I am a Third Culture Kid and always will be.

 

Dawn

 

 

Do your kids identify more with the culture you're currently living in, or your "home" culture? 

 

[Heather in Neverland]

How can I talk my husband into moving overseas!?? I have a terrible bad travel bug and he has zero desire to go anywhere.

 

Was expat living always part of your plan? Did one of you have to convince the other? Was it difficult to decide where to go?

 

What do you miss most from your home culture? Do you feel weird when you're back "home"? Do your kids identify more with the culture you're currently living in, or your "home" culture?

No, expat living was never even on my radar. It sounds super cliche but it was a God thing. If you knew the whole story you'd understand but it is a long one! :)

 

We were both convinced at the same time (see above reference to God thing. :) )

 

No it was not difficult to decide as we felt called to this specific school not just expat living in general.

 

I miss Target. A lot. :). And things being organized and people following rules/laws. It's pretty chaotic here sometimes.

 

Yes we feel weird when we go back to the US. The "third culture" phenomena is quite real and I didn't get it until it happened to me and my family. We will always be outsiders in a foreign country but we also feel like outsiders in the US too. It is hard to explain. You just feel different. It changes you forever but I think it has been mostly in good ways.

 

It sounds a bit cliche also to say "it has broadened our minds" but it really has. I have changed my views on many things as a result of living here and strengthened my views on other things. But it mostly gave me a chance to examine my own culture from outside of it.

 

My kids identify with both cultures and neither. That's what being a TCK is all about. They can fit in anywhere and nowhere at the same time.

[Heather in Neverland]

So do they have TV overseas?

 

My mother actually asked that when I met DH. She didn't get out much.

Yes but for some reason Malaysians are obsessed with crime shows and cooking shows. That is all that is ever on. Every NCIS, CSI, Law and Order, Hawaii Five-o type show there is.... They are looped constantly. And in no particular order or time. But there is always one on.

 

And cooking shows. Every cooking show there is. Oh, and Pawn Stars. That is always on, too. But that is about it.

 

I love my VPN and Netflix account!!

[Amira]

I love to watch cooking shows in other countries.

[Heather in Neverland]

As an American child growing up overseas, I can handle this one.

 

I didn't fit in either place ultimately!

 

I fit in with our little enclave of people who were considered Ex-pats. I had friends who were Kenyan but who also felt they identified with our little group of friends.

 

Once I graduated high school I came back to the States. Alone. I had a VERY hard time. I went to a small Christian college and thank goodness, because I found all the Missionary Kids within 4 days. I kid you not. It didn't matter where we had grown up, we had something much bigger in common than any of that.

 

I still don't always fit in with Americans. I just don't. My best friends are still those who lived overseas. I don't feel fully American nor do I feel Kenyan. I am a Third Culture Kid and always will be.

 

Dawn

Do you mind if I ask what school you went to in Kenya? My coworker was raised mostly in Kenya and went to Rosslyn Academy.

[Cammie]

I have some questions for overseas people!  We're figuring out where we're going to move next and have lots of choices, so if you've lived in or know a lot about any of these places, please tell me about them.  If you're lurking, I'd especially like to hear from you. :) I have other expat friends to ask, but I've learned it's important to talk to a variety of expats because everyone is overseas for different reasons.

 

Saudi Arabia- can someone compare Riyadh, Jeddah, and Dhahran?

 

India- would you choose Mumbai or New Delhi and why?

 

Turkey- I'd love to live in Istanbul, but is Ankara a good place to live?

 

Can anyone tell me about Jakarta and/or Bangkok?

 

What about Jamaica?

 

I think that's all for now. :)

 

Can you move to any other place in India?  Neither Mumbai nor New Delhi would be very high on my list.  You would need to be a big city person who thrives on the energy and intensity of a big city to love Mumbai )and of course there are people who do love it!)  New Delhi just has too many problems with the treatment of women and girls and the weather can be horrid.  There are lots of really great places to live in India...I just wouldn't go to either of those.

[Cammie]

How can I talk my husband into moving overseas!??  I have a terrible bad travel bug and he has zero desire to go anywhere.

 

Was expat living always part of your plan?  Did one of you have to convince the other?  Was it difficult to decide where to go? 

 

What do you miss most from your home culture?  Do you feel weird when you're back "home"?  Do your kids identify more with the culture you're currently living in, or your "home" culture? 

 

I think living in India was always in the back of my mind.  Luckily, DH is from India so he was interested in moving home as well.  We went where the work was so we didn't have too much input into that aspect of it.

 

These days I miss civic infrastructure  - clean streets, trash pick up, uninterrupted water and power!

 

I don't feel weird when I go home - but I do try to not go home to often.  I am lucky in that my family will come to India to visit me.  I don't go home much because I find it makes it harder for me to accept the hard parts of life here.  When we travel we go to other places but not "home."

 

I hope kids identify with both cultures - that was the whole point of moving when we did.  I think they think of themselves as "Americans" but when in a group of foreigners they are clearly the most "Indian" if that makes any sense!

[Mom in High Heels]

People in the West always ask if I can use chopsticks.  The first day I arrived in China in 1985 and there wasn't a fork or spoon on the table, I learned to use chopsticks.  Learning the language took a bit longer.....

 

Chinese people in China asked about chopsticks too.  Mysterious.

 

L

 

My dad lived in Japan for several years before he and my mom got married, and got proficient at eating with chopsticks.  When I was about 7 or 8, we'd ordered Chinese food, and he refused to let me use a fork.  He said if I was going to eat the food, I had to learn to eat it with chopsticks, and taught me how. He also taught me to eat sushi with them, which IMO is much harder!  Indy learned to use them when he was about 3 or 4, and Han Solo is trying to use them.  James Bond learned to use them when McDonald's came out with Chicken McNuggets.  Do you remember them coming with chopsticks?  That went away fairly quickly, but the McNugget stayed.  

 

We lived in Germany for a total of 11 years, and I didn't really miss much about the US, except Target.  ;)  There were times in the beginning when I missed the convenience of America, but after a while I got used to it and it didn't bother me.  Whenever we would come to the States for a visit, we always experienced culture shock.  America is so big and so very, very loud.  The selection in stores is overwhelming, the speed limits suck, and things are open all the time!  We been back in the US for 8 months now, and we're still adjusting!  Indy does NOT like to living in the US.  He's constantly saying how he wants to go "home."  I did not expect him to have such a hard time adjusting, but he really is.  The only time he lived in the US, he was little, and doesn't remember it, except for a wedding we went to in Chicago.  He's spent almost his entire life in Germany, so I guess it's all rather overwhelming to be dropped into a culture that is really different.  He wants to live in Europe when he's older.  One of my friend's daughters is the same way.  She lived in Italy and Germany all except the first year of her life, and since she's been back in the US, she said it's just not for her.  She wants to live in Belgium, because that was her favorite place.  :)    When James Bond retires, he wants to work for the Defense Intelligence Agency, and we're thinking about him trying for a job in England (Molesworth).  I would be thrilled to live in England!

[Cammie]

One of the best parts about living overseas is having children who feel that the whole world is an option!  I love hearing about all the places that kids want to live!  I know for my kids any place in the world seems doable - after living in India not much is going to seem more difficult or more challenging!  Kids in my daughter's school are looking at colleges in the US, Canada, the UK, Singapore, Australia and India.  It really opens up so many more doors!

[Mrs Mungo]

I love to watch cooking shows in other countries.

I loved the British show Ready, Steady, Cook!

[DawnM]

Rift Valley Academy.

 

Tell your coworker Buffaloes rule!  :coolgleamA:

 

Do you mind if I ask what school you went to in Kenya? My coworker was raised mostly in Kenya and went to Rosslyn Academy.

 

[Amira]

Can you move to any other place in India? Neither Mumbai nor New Delhi would be very high on my list. You would need to be a big city person who thrives on the energy and intensity of a big city to love Mumbai )and of course there are people who do love it!) New Delhi just has too many problems with the treatment of women and girls and the weather can be horrid. There are lots of really great places to live in India...I just wouldn't go to either of those.

Those are the only two options right now. I agree, they're not the ones I'd pick. Since we're mostly limited to major cities, what other cities would you recommend if we have a chance to go in the future? I'd really love to live in India someday.

[Amira]

Me too!

 

Although the only ones I've seen are from Canada, Great Britain, and Germany. I'd love to see other ones.

Now I'm wondering if there are some on YouTube.

[Heather in Neverland]

Me too!

 

Although the only ones I've seen are from Canada, Great Britain, and Germany. I'd love to see other ones.

I am currently enjoying Master Chef Australia!

[Amira]

Maybe....

 

Did you ever see Two Fat Ladies? It's an older show. In fact, one of the stars is no longer alive. They cook some really unusual things (unusual to me anyway). And they are funny. I'm not sure they are even trying to be funny, but yeah... They are from GB.

I'll have to look for that one. It sounds fun.

 

Seeing the different and unusual-to-me things people cook is what I like best.

[FaithManor]

Heather, are you planning on staying in Malaysia permanently? If not, are you looking at another country or coming home for the college years? Just curius as to what your long term plans look like. If you stay in Malaysia, will you seek citizenship?

[scootiepie]

Housing prices?   My frame of reference is House Hunters International, where the costs of buying a home are outrageously expensive.   If you are familiar with this show, does this reflect reality or is it an apples-to-oranges type of comparison?   I wonder every time I watch that show.

[Laura Corin]

Housing prices?   My frame of reference is House Hunters International, where the costs of buying a home are outrageously expensive.   If you are familiar with this show, does this reflect reality or is it an apples-to-oranges type of comparison?   I wonder every time I watch that show.

 

I haven't seen the programme, but house prices are very high in the UK, especially in the South East, close to London.  My brother's very ordinary 3 bedroom (two of the bedrooms are only twice the size of a single bed) 1930s house in the outskirts of London has risen to now be worth over a million US dollars.  This one is similar in style but a bit bigger.

 

Near me (a long way from London, an hour from Edinburgh) these are the kinds of prices you would be looking at.  It's a small country with a big population, so planning permission is hard to obtain - this keeps prices high.

 

ETA: I just heard on the radio that the average property price in London is currently 450,000 pounds (USD 750,000) and in England as a whole 250,000 pounds (USD 420,000).

 

We rented everywhere else we lived, except in China - it was not expensive where we bought there, but it was not in any of the main cities.

 

L