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reasonable bedtime for 13yo


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When ds(oldest) was 13, he was in bed at 8 and read til 8:30 and still couldn't get up at 7.

 

Now, dd(11 - youngest) is lucky to get to bed by 9, because there is so much going on. She doesn't get up well either.

 

How do families with 7 or 8 kids get the younger ones to actually sleep (not just in bed and quiet) with the older ones still up?

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During the summer I pretty much let my kids go to bed and wake up when they want unless we have somewhere to go the next day.

 

During the school year my 13 year old will have to be up by 7:30. She will have to be in in her room by 10:00 with lights out by 10:30. That will give her 9 hours of sleep. If that doesn't seem like enough sleep we will arrange her bed time. I'm also trying to prepare her for next year since she will be going to a private high school. She will have to be up by 6:15 and I doubt she will be able to get to bed before 10:00 due to homework. My oldest rarely gets to bed before 11:00 due to homework.

 

I've always believed in letting the older children have a later bedtime than their siblings if they are mature enough for it (can remain quiet) and are getting enough sleep. My youngest (10) has to be in bed by 9:00 with lights out by 9:30. He has never had a problem with having to go to bed earlier than his sisters because that is just the way we do it in our house. I have friends who make all of their kids go to bed at the same time. To me it doesn't seem fair that a 14 year old (freshman in highschool ) should have to have her jammies on by 7:00 just because that way her younger siblings won't complain. It's just my opinion but a 14 year old shouldn't have to go to bed the same time as a 4 year old.

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Teenagers here are responsible for their own sleep habits.

__________________

 

Pretty much the same here. Except I will, if needed, let my teen know I'm "done and off duty" and if he requires anything he's to take care of it himself.

 

My teen is going through some stuff right now, and late nightime is a time where he can process things and talk to me alone. I've been liberal around bedtime because of that need.

 

ETA: He typiclly goes to bed around 11:00, sometimes later. My others go to bed at 10:00.

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When ds(oldest) was 13, he was in bed at 8 and read til 8:30 and still couldn't get up at 7.

 

Now, dd(11 - youngest) is lucky to get to bed by 9, because there is so much going on. She doesn't get up well either.

 

How do families with 7 or 8 kids get the younger ones to actually sleep (not just in bed and quiet) with the older ones still up?

 

Well I don't have 7 or 8 but I do have 3 whose ages are 11, 4, and 2. By a certain age I think kids should be getting themselves to bed. Everybody has to start getting ready for bed at 7. I have the younger ones go straight in the tub while I tidy up their room and the 11 year old has to tidy up her room too. I then go and wash them up in the bath tub while the 11 year old brushes her hair and her teeth. By the time 11 is done I'm also done and 11 jumps in the shower. I get teh younger ones ready for bed and we read a story and its light out at 8 for them. The 11 year old gets out of the shower at around 8 and then she puts on her jammies, journals for 10 mins and then she has to read until 9. For her its light out at 9.

 

Now I did think I put my kids to bed early but I had a visiting cousin who said it was still a late bed time:001_huh:. She did then tell me that they need to be in their rooms at a certain time and then they could actually go to sleep later than that. :glare: I then informed her that the times I told her about were the light out time and not the time they went to their rooms to get ready for bed.

 

 

Anyways

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Mine goes by 10. We live in a teeny tiny 4 room house, and nobody can be sitting up much later than anybody else without keeping the ones in bed awake. We can even see the light from every room from our bedrooms, with the doors closed. Let alone if there is any noise.

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I'd say 9pm to bedroom, can read until 10pm in room... but if the child is cranky at normal "wake up time" well, 9pm lights out.

 

On Friday nights, you could say 10pm bedtime, though -- as long as there is nothing scheduled.

 

This is pretty much how it went for us, growing up.

 

My kids are still all in bed by 8pm (my oldest is almost 9), but he's allowed to read quiety in his bed until 8:30 or 9:00pm... usually, though, he's asleep by 8:30 at the latest.

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Ds, 11, goes to bed to read at 9, lights out at 9:30pm, except on the weekends where everything is shifted later 1/2 hour. We determined this because he can still be out of bed in time to start our day.

 

Basically, if she's not getting to sleep at her bedtime, move it back to when she finally falls asleep. She if, after about a week, she can get up on time for your family and function throughout the day.

 

Since we have to hard and fast schedules around here we just use what physically works.

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Teenagers here are responsible for their own sleep habits.

 

Same here.

 

My older son (16) needs a lot of sleep and tends to drift off around 10 pm. My younger son (13) is a night owl and simply cannot fall asleep before 11. They both need to get up at a certain time to leave for school, and it's much harder to get my older guy up than my younger one (who gets up on his own with his alarm clock.)

 

But all screens are off by 9:30 pm so it's reading or sleep.

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At 13, my son was in charge of his own bedtime. However, if he wasn't getting up in time to get school done, or if he was cranky, I would give him an enforced bedtime. As others have said I am off duty. We aren't discussing your writing assignment at eleven at night.

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