dirty ethel rackham Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I am so sorry for your loss. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meadowlark Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 Hugs. My brother committed suicide. I too, am somewhat comforted by the fact that he is now at peace and not hurting anymore. His note indicated he has always been unhappy. How difficult to wake up every day feeling no hope and only sadness. Depression sucks! In our case, we had no idea. In fact, the week before he introduced us to his new girlfriend, and he seemed happier than ever. His job was going great, no history of depression/meds, no mention of anything at all. But I knew something was off and I knew it from the time I was a kid. He couldn't order milk at a restaurant without sending it back because it wasn't cold enough. People were constantly disappointing him. Everyone was an idiot, no one measured up. Life didn't measure up. And yet, he was the life of the party and everyone loved him. The mind is a complicated thing. To the OP, you were wondering what to do. Just be there for the family. Cry, laugh, hug...just be there. And be there a week from now, a month from now, 5 years from now. Send his family a card on his birthday, flowers on his anniversary. My parents are still deeply grieving 5 years later. They love it when people just remember him. His best friends always send my mom roses on his birthday. My parents NEED to know that he is never forgotten. But it will never be okay, life will never be the same, and they will not be in the same people they were before, so expect that. I can't wait to see my brother someday and tell him what he did to us...but then I'll probably hug him and tell him I understand that he couldn't go on. He was sick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peachskittles Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 Suicide sucks. I am so sorry for your loss, their loss, other people that he was unaware that would be affected loss...To support them, just be there. There are no right words to say, but listening is such a huge help. *hugs* It is such a difficult thing to get through. On Feb. 16th, a very dear friend of mine committed suicide. I miss him every day. The first few weeks were hard for me, I could not imagine how his widow felt, his children felt...I visited with his widow 3 weeks after his death. It was so hard. But every time I have a chance I call her, I talk to her on Facebook...It's now been 6 weeks. She only wishes people would still call and talk to her. Life has moved on for most of their friends. I really think communication is the biggest support you can give to someone grieving from a loss. Some days I think that I should have visited, maybe talked to him more. I try to not think like that, but it pops up at the oddest times. I know there was probably nothing I could have done, but the doubt lingers with me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tmhearn Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I hate to "like" anyone's post on this thread, but I do agree with Umsami. It is often a spur-of-the-moment thing. Even for people who have contemplated suicide before, I really feel that something just clicks in the brain at that moment to make it a sudden decision. My uncle committed suicide about 7 years ago. We all knew he was having some troubles. I had talked to my grandma that morning about it. He lived with my grandma and other uncle. But really, how were they to know? He never came out and said anything. I don't know that they could have done anything. I think I read your other post about this situation. It will weigh heavy on your heart, but there was nothing else you could have done. And, I think your explanation to your kids was excellent. He was sick, and he died. So sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 Oh my gosh, I am so very sorry. How tragically sad. :grouphug: :crying: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaffodilDreams Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I am so, so sorry. Prayers for all involved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PuddleJumper1 Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I'm so very sorry. Praying for all of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jrn Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmandaVT Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I am so very sorry for your loss. Depression is such a hard disease. :-( My thoughts and prayers are with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corraleno Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom in High Heels Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrookValley. Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I'm so sorry. :( :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Negin Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom@shiloh Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 I am very sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 We didn't tell our girls he killed himself. He had a disease called depression, so we told our kids that he was very sick and died. Period. I'm not sure if I'll ever tell them the details. I'm so sorry you are going through this. With regard to the above, you might want to choose a time to tell them, when they are of an age to cope. My mother did not tell me of my grandmother's suicide, then forgot that I didn't know and mentioned it in passing. It was a shock to hear that way. Even if you might not mention it in this way, someone else might. L Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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