Gil Posted February 9, 2014 Share Posted February 9, 2014 I *CANT* be the only one. Come on guys, where are you? I need someone to hammer out the realistic logistics of homeschooling as a single parent and would love to have someone with real experience and advice. I've been checking and the only homeschooling group even remotely in my area that I've found isn't one that I'd want to be involved with and I don't quite have the motivation, time, interest or energy to start my own. Is there anyone else out there who is homeschooling as a single parent? I'm a FT student and work 2 part time jobs. The boys are with their grandma during the day and complete some assignments during that time but right now we basically have been schooling in the evenings. I still make the boys go to bed around 10pm though and they can sleep during the day if they want, but they haven't been napping lately. Right now we only do the 3Rs and we've just started Spanish. So far, so good but my boys really want subjects so I'll have to figure out how to add them in eventually. Anyone else? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 9, 2014 Share Posted February 9, 2014 I'm here and so is Brandy (swellmama) and there's a private group for us. We are out here and it's easier to find each other now that the internet is so commonplace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueTaelon Posted February 9, 2014 Share Posted February 9, 2014 I'm here, unless you have support or really self motivated kids its nearly impossible to HS as a single working parent. I've basically had to quit my job to HS my oldest. I wish you luck, I know there are parents who do it but I don't have the supports I need to do both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamzanne Posted February 9, 2014 Share Posted February 9, 2014 I'm a single mom of an only child! It is pretty lonely to be single in the homeschooling world. I am very fortunate to be able to work from home. I work 20 hours per week after my daughter goes to bed & am currently able to make ends meet with the child support I receive and some side jobs. I don't have the time or energy to really homeschool the way I want to, but I am thankful to be able to make it work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gil Posted February 9, 2014 Author Share Posted February 9, 2014 Yeah, being single and parenting is exhausting enough! Toss in school and work and some weeks I feel like I'm just a few inches from melting from the inside! I am also not able to homeschool the way that I'd really like to. My boys are pretty bright--not geniuses. Their best characteristic in academics is their enthusiasm for math and their ability to focus. Plus they are agreeable and will do (most of) what they are asked. We are still working on getting work down with little to no time wasted. I will be honest: They really aren't getting the education that I feel that they deserve in our home school and I can't even pretend like I expect them to get it--at least not this year. However, PS failed for us in a big way and the boys were miserable so I had to withdraw them. I'm so grateful for the support that we get from the boys grandmothers! I can never thank them enough and I feel that I'd have like a 0.01% chance of success without them. They don't even agree with homeschool but they have not given me too rough of a time about it and they don't mind having the boys during the day while I am working or in class. I'm so absorbed in my jobs, my classes and keeping the three of us fed and clothed that I don't have time or energy to provide a "well rounded" education. Fortunately the boys are pretty young, so its okay for their education to be lacking so long as the 3Rs are covered (Which they are, fortunately!) but that won't always be the case! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emzhengjiu Posted February 9, 2014 Share Posted February 9, 2014 I'm a single parent as well. Yes, it's tough, but probably easier for me since my girls are 13 and 16. Still, most days I'm exhausted, physically and emotionally. I work a regular part-time job, have some contract work I do at home, and then have other jobs such as babysitting and home health care on a irregular basis. My girls have always been homeschooled and want to continue. We study year around with breaks whenever we wish (within reason of course.) To me, it's worth facing the difficulties because I have more time with my girls and much more flexibility. If they were in public schools, I wouldn't be with them anywhere near as often because of my work schedule. God has supplied our needs (although not always our wants) throughout our homeschooling journey and I know he will continue to do so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted February 9, 2014 Share Posted February 9, 2014 I've been single parenting for about a year, in the midst of divorce. I'm currently a full-time student (online classes this year) and trying to make that work with our budget (minimal budget, no frills). Logistics? Even though my son is 16, our school has always been set up to include lots of discussion and dialogue. In essence, he still needs mom. I've tweaked a few subjects (which still ticks me off) to be more independent, so I have time for my own studies and sanity. Different hours. Neither of us are morning people. So I get up earlier, do my studies, then he gets up and we do his schooling in the afternoon. It works for us. Letting some things go. My house is not meticulous, we've downsized stuff and will be doing more in the future. Ds does his own laundry and has his set chores. Our situation is a little different in that we're still trying to establish household routines without the other adult and assuming some of the responsibilities that were his, such as home maintenance. Enlist your support system. Let grandma teach something. My son and my parents are very close, we've had that support system in place for years, but it's been great in the last year. Ds learned some electronics from my dad, I think my mom has helped by just being goofy and loving. Even something that doesn't look schooly is great. I believe multi generational relationships are important. Organization - being organized helps. Time - another aspect is to make sure you take off the teacher hat and be the parent. As a full time student while trying to facilitate high school and I'm currently planning our next year of high school, I feel like all I do is school. We're taking a day off next to go to lunch in the "big town". Stability- flexibility is important, being able to take off or not, but stability is also important. It's a balance. When dh was here he was self-employed most of the time. We kept a flexible schedule, took off on days he was off sometimes. So in a way we've had an element of flexibility. Long term plans - Not that you need to mention them here, but what are your goals after you graduate? Full time work? How old will the boys be? Do you plan to stay in the same area and keep the same support system? I'll be honest, it would have been hard for me to homeschool and work full time when ds was younger. My parents are close but not close enough to drive to everyday for child care. I might have considered public school until he was old enough to be alone a bit during the day. Will grandma be able to keep them during non-working hours? The former spouse - If there is a former spouse to deal with do they get a say in the education? Again, not questions you have to answer here, but considerations. My soon-to-be- former is very supportive of homeschooling. He generally has been hands off. However, he hasn't always understood our late start schedule (we did this for a couple of years when we were still together). I think if ds were younger, he'd make more of issue out of it. I keep documentation of so much for school, high school kind of requires it. However, if he were younger, I'd still document more than necessary just in case there was ever a question. Keep reading this board. I've homeschooled for 10 years, been reading this board for over half of that. This is a diverse group homeschooling in many fashions. Loads of information on anything and everything. If you can't find it, just ask. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted February 9, 2014 Share Posted February 9, 2014 I am here everyday. Currently 4 child though at the rate dfs15 is going today I may be down to 3 shortly. Just sayin'.March 1st will mark 13 years of single parenthood and this is our 8th year homeschooling. I work 2 jobs but aside from coursera courses I am not a student at this time. I don't live close to family so I have limited support that way, we have still managed to make it work over the years with educating the kids and work. For years I worried about how behind they were (combination of their own LDs and the limited teachable hours in a day) but now that my teens are doing high school it has levelled back out. They are still not independent learners mainly due to their LDs so I can't leave them with work to do while I am working but they are still completing their coursework and earning their credits at a decent enough pace anyway. My own health isn't great right now so that takes a bigger toll than working/hsing together. BEing a single parent hsing household has given my kids a certain drive though that I don't know they would have if I was still married or if they were in ps. They see firsthand every day the sacrifices being made to homeschool them, they see how lucky they are to have so much time with me despite me working 2 jobs (something their friends from single parent homes don't often get). They see that I have managed to arrange my work schedules to teach them during the day, but also attend their extracurrics and cheer them on, see the special ceremonies, learn a new skill etc. They have seen that putting that focus on the family has left things a little financially tight to say the least. Certainly I could put them in school and work f/t all day and then do my 2nd job on weekends and we would do a bit better but at what cost kwim. Both of my teens despite their LDs and for oldest his mental illness have a drive to succeed, they want more as far as job security and want to make more than minimum wage but both also highly value family and loyalty. Those values would have been installed no matter the household make up or schooling but what I am seeing different between them and their peers is they are already visualizing the bigger picture. Many of their age peers have no concrete plans for after high school, high school is their whole world right now, and most are planning a gap year to travel etc. A good portion of those from this area do not go onto post secondary at all. My kids by contrast (particularily dd14) know where they want to see themselves in the next 5 and 10 years and have a plan mapped out to reach those goals. Ds15 used to have a solid plan which has changed since he started getting treated for mental illness so now he is working on plans B and C. But the fact that at 15 he has a plan B and C is telling imo. Despite not getting the rigorous education I envisoned for them, or the cool extra programs/co-ops/specialty camps etc. They are turning out just fine, and I have no doubts what so ever that despite their LDs and issues that they will be successful adults in whatever path they have chosen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jilly Posted February 9, 2014 Share Posted February 9, 2014 I am also a single homeschool parent. When I first started homeschooling (almost ten years ago) I felt like I was the only one, but I have noticed more single parents taking this route over the years. It is not always easy, but for my family it has been worth it. There is a good deal of juggling involved for you as the parent and in the early years it is hard. There was a few years where I felt like we were achieving very little academically as I was so busy with my schooling that it made it almost impossible. We struggled through though (audiobooks and videos helped) and now years later we are at a wonderful place. The kids are fairly independent which makes everything easier, and we are all very close which is the benefit I love most. My biggest advice would be not to worry too much about the academics in the early years. Instead focus on establishing routines for yourself and the children. This is far more important than academics in my opinion. In addition I would recommend that you use all resources available to you and to use your resources wisely. If the kids are with their grandma have her teach them something she is interested in. When my mom had to homeschool my kids she would hit the basics and then teach them art because she is an artist. This was so much fun for her and the kids, and today she is still working with them on this. If you have other adults in your life that can help, use them. I have four brothers and I have called on them all to help me in various ways over the years. My good friends have also helped the kids and I over the years. For me this support has been so wonderful. Also allow yourself to use alternative resources for curriculum. We would all love to spend hours a day teaching our children with wonderful curriculum but as a single parent this is not always possible. In the early years we used Time4Learning (which my kids loved for math and language arts), BrainPop, audiobooks (listening while building with Legos or drawing), and movies. Today I would add to this list apps which are educational. It is amazing how much the kids can pick up and learn from these resources and it frees up your time as they are much more independent. Finally make a little time for yourself everyday. When my kids were younger my favorite part of my day was when they all finally feel asleep. It was my quiet time to do whatever I wanted. Now that they are older I take time during the day to go out by myself or with friends for coffee or lunch. It is so important to take some time for yourself and to not feel guilty about it. Good luck on your journey! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted February 9, 2014 Share Posted February 9, 2014 Not a single parent here, but I have a close friend single homeschool parent. She has done shift work, including overseas tech support by phone, then put herself through nursing school and does shift work now. She has no spousal support (of any kind) but has very supportive family that have made it possible for her. They do not teach, but they do relief, sometimes help with household jobs, and give her tons of validation and emotional support. It can be done but it takes tremendous drive and planning skills. Hang on! It will be worth it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IdahoHomeschooler Posted February 9, 2014 Share Posted February 9, 2014 Hi! Another single parent homeschooler here. :seeya: I'm a nurse working 2 12 hour shifts a week to support myself and my daughter. My sister watches my daughter while I work, but she doesn't do any of the schooling for us. I have control issues, lol. Honestly, I'm a bit of a reluctant homeschooler, but there just aren't any other acceptable options for us. My biggest struggle is that I have an "ideal" vision of what I want homeschooling to be, but the reality is nowhere close. I'm struggling to let go of that ideal, and accept that what we are doing is the best that we are able to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted February 9, 2014 Share Posted February 9, 2014 Nope, you're not alone. I'm another single homeschooling parent. I like what we're doing educationally, but financially, I am always worried. The ONLY way this is working is because my ex is a good father and is paying a great deal of child support in order to help keep life stable for the kids. I am slowly getting to where I can support us, but that is still at least two years off as I am currently working on my master's degree. I do work part time, too (though it's very part time right now while I'm focusing on a difficult course this semester). Generally, I am a part time student, part time editor, part time transcriptionist, and full time homeschooling single mom. I don't have any advice for you except to just keep on keepin' on and trust that it will all work out in the end. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted February 9, 2014 Share Posted February 9, 2014 Me too. It has gotten easier than it was in the first year, and even the first year was easier than meeting the demands of a BandM school, with a long commute. The education may not be perfect, but certainly it is way better than the BandM school was. If you have a good library you could take them and have them choose something at their level in history and in science areas for other subjects. You can also involve them in the feeding/cooking/shopping and keeping clothed activities which could yield a lot of learning. We have had a lot of "nutrition" and things like that as subject matter. Knowing something about that is probably more important to life than studying about, say, supernovae. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atozmom Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 Another single parent/homeschooling mama here. I also work part-time outside of the home. I've only been doing this for about a year and half now. It hasn't really gotten easier, but it's doable. My ds has some learning challenges, so many days I am just completely spent. I have a very supportive family and they have been amazing through it all. I have no words of wisdom to share, however just knowing that you're not the only one doing this helps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BucktownMom Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 I'm a single mom with lots of resources - I work full time as an attorney. I have been spending about 15K per year on tuition and 22K per year on an au pair. I am seriously thinking of repurposing this money to hire a governess/teacher/tutor/nanny type of a person to homeschool my daughters 7, 6, and 2. I had a major issue with their parochial school recently and I almost pulled them out in January to home school them but I chickened out. If anybody can offer any encouragement on how this could possible work for us, I would really appreciate it! Nora - Chicago Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teri in VA Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 This is my first year as a soon to be single homeschooler. I've homeschooled our 15, 12, and 10 yr olds from the beginning and plan on doing all I can to continue. I'm not sure how much financial support I'll get. It's very encouraging to see that it can be done. I think that HEAV has a special luncheon for single homeschoolers. I'm looking forward to attending this summer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atozmom Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 I think that HEAV has a special luncheon for single homeschoolers. I'm looking forward to attending this summer. This is great! I wish more homeschool conventions would offer things for single homeschool parents. I attended the FPEA convention last year. It had only been 2 months after my divorce was finalized. The theme of the convention was Strong Family (strong marriage,etc....) I knew this when I signed up, but there were several speakers that I really wanted to hear and I needed to get my hands on a few things in the vendor hall to check them out. So I sucked it up and went. (I also went with friends which made it a little easier.) There were several lectures on marriage, families, staying in love while homeschooling, etc. I made sure I completely stayed away from all of those and attended the ones I went there to hear. I did walk away from those lectures refreshed and glad that I had attend. However, it was still a tough weekend. I do believe there was a time during one of the evenings where they were having a small gathering for single parent homeschoolers.(not a luncheon though!! That just sounds great!) However, it conflicted with something else that I was attending so I couldn't go. To be honest, I am not sure that I would have been ready for it yet either. I know we are in the minority when it comes to homeschool families, but I would love to see a couple lectures at the conventions that are targeted for single homeschool parents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZooRho Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 This is my first year as a soon to be single homeschooler. I've homeschooled our 15, 12, and 10 yr olds from the beginning and plan on doing all I can to continue. I'm not sure how much financial support I'll get. It's very encouraging to see that it can be done. I think that HEAV has a special luncheon for single homeschoolers. I'm looking forward to attending this summer. YEs they have done it. I'm sure they will again this year. I am not a single parent but the leadership luncheon is super nice so I'm sure that one is great too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwik Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 I'm a single mom with lots of resources - I work full time as an attorney. I have been spending about 15K per year on tuition and 22K per year on an au pair. I am seriously thinking of repurposing this money to hire a governess/teacher/tutor/nanny type of a person to homeschool my daughters 7, 6, and 2. I had a major issue with their parochial school recently and I almost pulled them out in January to home school them but I chickened out. If anybody can offer any encouragement on how this could possible work for us, I would really appreciate it! Nora - Chicago Would it not be easier to reduce the hours you work instead? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papillon Mom Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 Another single hser here. Lucky to be financially supported by dd's father and we live with my mother so, while not my dream life... It works for us. I love not having to argue about parenting or schooling with anyone, it's really quite fabulous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FloridaLisa Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 I responded to you in the single parent's group, but I'll also add my voice to this thread. I became a single mom about 2 1/2 years ago after dh died. Single parenting is hard. Add in the sole responsibility of educating your kids and it is really staggering when you think about it. Homeschooling helped us cocoon a bit more during the heart-numbing period of grief. We had developed a rhythm to our days that didn't have to be re-worked like so many others in our lives. Plus, our homeschooling community, including our small co-op -- has been such a safe, warm, loving community for us. I am so grateful that homeschooling has allowed us time to do Bible studies and read encouraging books together that have helped us continue a dialog toward healing (books like Hinds Feet on High Places and books about families that overcome difficult circumstances like Five Little Peppers and How They Grew, Heidi, Swiss Family Robinson, The Von Trapp Family). Since becoming a single mom, I feel more than ever that I cannot get everything done! I'm the only one going to all the dc's events, often the one getting them there, the one signing them up, keeping up with the house, the cooking, the shopping, the bills, the doctor/dentist/orthodontic visits, the yard, the pets, the cars, the taxes and insurance and financial decisions, the 2 rental houses, not to mention actually disciplining, discipling and guiding these kids. It's a glorious job and overwhelming job all at once! But I think it would probably be much more difficult if I was jumping through the hoops and deadlines and tests/projects/events dictated by teachers for 4 of my kids still at home. So for many, many reasons -- not the least of which is a reasonable schedule -- I'm grateful to homeschool. And yet, I'm a student all over again. I thought I had this parenting thing down, having graduated the first through homeschooling and into college. Single parenting teen boys and young children and college girls that need to talk at 10:45 p.m. is so beyond what I thought I would be doing! We have needed huge doses of grace, all of us, and me most of all. God knew even these days would be and my less-than-ideal causes me to just trust Him like I never did before June 2011. Anyway, I posted some practical helps in the other thread. After responding in that thread, I set aside this last Saturday to do once-a-month-cooking, which I hope will save tremendous time this month. Best wishes to you on this journey, Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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