Disciplining your kids to do their school work?

[Mommy22alyns]

Is this one of the biggest challenges of homeschooling?

 

DH had Becca doing a small, short math worksheet this morning. She was to do front and back. She finished the front and informed him that she'd do the back later because there were "too many problems." (No, there weren't, actually)

 

DH had a fit of his own (and we need to have a talk about this) but he told her we'd just go enroll her in school where she would go to kindergarten and be bored all day re-learning her ABC's. :001_huh: Note: I do not condone this approach at all!!!

 

She went back and did her work, but that leaves me with the question - how do you help your children develop the self-discipline to do their school work? She's doing advanced work, but I do keep in mind that she's 5 - she gets plenty of free time, plenty of run around outside time, etc. We do a couple of subjects, take a break, finish up, and she's done for the day. I guarantee that she's not overloaded.

 

I also know that she's still young and that she won't magically have this self-discipline overnight - heck, I still lack the self-discipline necessary to work out on a regular basis.

 

But still - what are some suggestions to help her see that when she pays attention, she gets done faster and has the rest of the day free?

[dragons in the flower bed]

DH had Becca doing a small, short math worksheet this morning. She was to do front and back. She finished the front and informed him that she'd do the back later because there were "too many problems." (No, there weren't, actually)

 

I would have gently chuckled, put a hand on the child's shoulder, and said, "No, baby, I believe you're able to finish that." If he argued, I would say, "No, really, finish that."

[Cedarmom]

:

I would have gently chuckled, put a hand on the child's shoulder, and said, "No, baby, I believe you're able to finish that." If he argued, I would say, "No, really, finish that."

:iagree:

I also would make sure that the paper only took about 10 minutes (maybe 15 if your child can sit longer than mine could at that age)

[Remudamom]

Yep, just be consistent and she'll get it. Just don't let her get into the habit of putting it off.

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

Here is what I suggest- make it her day. If she doesn't finish, she has wasted HER day. This is easier said than done. It is so hard not to say "do your work" about 50 times a day. It is so hard not to get frustrated when you see they could finish in 10 minutes if they would just DO IT.

 

I went as far one day to enlist a friend's help. Dd (then your dd's age) was dawdling in a supreme way. So, I called up my friend and had her come over, and bring her kids- who played in dd's room with dd's stuff because dd had to sit at her desk until her work was done. That work which was procrastinated for over an hour was done in 10 minutes.

 

So now dd is 7 and she still dawdles some days, but is getting much better about time management. No amount of nagging could have helped this along faster. She had to see for herself that life was much better when she got her work done in a timely manner. I find too, that the more I say "do your work" the more it becomes a battle and the more she drags her feet.

 

One thing I would watch out for- there is a difference between a kid just dragging feet and a kid trying to tell you that the amount of redunancy in the work she is being given is driving her insane. It is not easy to tell the difference. I remember when my dd was 5, if I gave her a problem- just a ranom example- like 23+98, she would groan, but if I have her 104-x = 34, it would engage her brain more and she wouldn't complain.

 

The funny thing is dd has always hated busy work but this year, she begged for Teaching Textbooks for math. When it came, I looked at it and thought the amount of review problems would drive her insane. Not so with this for some reason. She wants to do every single problem. Go figure.

[Mom-ninja.]

I give my ds a time frame to get things done. If he doesn't get them done he is not allowed to do the fun things he wants to do.

[Peela]

Some of Charlotte Mason's ideas are good for this. Keeping lessons short so that you train the child to focus, then you change teh subject to something completely different so that the mind is refreshed. Keep the school day short so that there is plenty of time ofr fun.

5 is awfully young- they wouldn't be in school here.

[mom31257]

My ds loves workbook type learning especially math, but has not been crazy about his handwriting this year or anything that involves him drawing. He got mad when he was supposed to draw something and threw pencils across the table at his sister. Well...that's definitely unacceptable. He did receive punishment for that, then after he was calmed down, I got him back and walked him through it.

 

I started using student incentive charts (I got packs of 36 at the Dollar Tree) with small smiley face stickers. If he completes each subject with a good attitude, he gets the stickers. If he gets all smiley faces for the day, he gets to play Playstation. He really enjoys it, so I figured it would motivate him, and it has. I really tried to stress to him that it's the attitude that matters. He gets frustrated when he doesn't do something right the first time.

 

I'm also using the charts for them eating 5 fruits/veggies every day. If they fill the whole week's chart, we get to go out on Friday night for a special dessert like Dairy Queen.

[katilac]

Keep in mind, I'm approaching this from the perspective of believing that you don't have to require 5-yr-olds to do schoolwork. Academic ability is not the same as having the maturity level for regular academics, imo.

 

Therefore, if my kinder had said it was too many problems, I would have said fine; HOWEVER, our situation was 'set up' that way. They knew it was their choice.

 

In your situation, I would have insisted she finish, because one of our rules is that you can ask (politely) to delay or not do a parental request, but you cannot inform us you won't be doing it (no matter how politely you do so). If you tell instead of ask, or ask impolitely or with a whine in your voice, the answer will be no.

 

As far as self motivation and discipline, yes, it's a very long road. And very variable from kid to kid! I have one kid who was born with a task list and ink pen in her hand, and another one who . . . was not :D

 

My, hmmm, less-task-oriented child is often inspired by games and competitions, in schoolwork and everything else: Do you think we can get all of our groceries in forty minutes? I bet we can finish history before lunch, what do you think? And simple stuff like doing work on the whiteboard instead of the workbook, letting Barbie sit in on lessons, etc.

[kalanamak]

I

DH had a fit of his own (and we need to have a talk about this) but he told her we'd just go enroll her in school where she would go to kindergarten and be bored all day re-learning her ABC's. :001_huh: Note: I do not condone this approach at all!!!

 

 

I don't know how close your 5 is to 6. Your list of curric looks very much like mine, and we are just transitioning from K to 1, as kiddo just turned 6. I did not require a set amount of work for K. In my mind, once kiddo made 10 minutes on math or reading, the moment he flagged after that I stopped. I took the year learning how to judge his mental status (because I work, we school in the evening, and sometimes he's tired or hungry when I get home) and compare it to the work I had planned. As the year progressed, I prompted him to keep his eyes on the page or to concentrate if he seemed to be acting distracted when he had no reason to be.

 

However, since 1st is starting, I have more goals. My son wondered about this increase, which I discussed with him. I told him what homeschooling was, and we went down to the school he would go to and looked in the windows at the desks, and I timed out an hour for him, and was simply honest about what would happen there. That got his attention!

 

So, this year I've prompted him sometimes about concentrating and getting through something. I'm careful not to tack on extra work "because it is going so well", but I have said, once or twice, that we will do extra problems until he can do this with a good attitude. That also worked quickly. Something is sinking in. Last night we worked downstairs because it was so hot upstairs. He looked over his art desk and told me what needed to be removed, or it would "distract" him. And later, when math was delayed due to an opportunity to go visit someone, I gave him the option of doing it tonight when he was "tired" (he was running around the house) or do it twice the next day, he sat down and did it, and even asked to do a couple problems more (which he often does when he "catches on" to something and wants to run with it).

 

While a grumpy "do this or you'll sit in class all day being bored" is not ideal, I feel being truthful to a child who can comprehend it, who has faith your your good intentions, who is given simple, non-confusing options is not bad.

 

At least from the genes from my side of the family, kiddo will probably not be ready to *productively* sit still for a solid hour until he's 8 or 9. I sat still and was "good", but I daydreamed so vividly, I didn't know what page we were on, was a poor reader, etc. A good part of why I homeschool is to not "set my kid up to fail", which is the lesson I learned so well, I didn't even know I was "bright" until I was 26 (yes, 26) and therefore didn't start med school until I was nearly 30. Not that the delay was bad, but it was a delay for the wrong reasons, IMO.

 

You have years ahead of you, and just think what your child is doing compared to what you were doing at that age. Learning is great at 5, but I simply promise you your child will not just miss the college of her choice because she was fidgety at a desk in K.

 

And for hubby, who probably didn't feel very good about the experience, either, look for something he can do with success, as well. Like....number facts (0-5) go fish as described in the HIG for Sing 1A.

 

HTH, and look at me ramble on like an expert! I do so, because I'm terribly curious about the nuts and bolts of how others have done something, and figure others may be as well.

[KAR120C]

one of our rules is that you can ask (politely) to delay or not do a parental request, but you cannot inform us you won't be doing it (no matter how politely you do so). If you tell instead of ask, or ask impolitely or with a whine in your voice, the answer will be no.

 

Our very first "schoolwork rule" was that you need to ask politely if you can quit. No whining, no wandering away, no grumpiness. But to reinforce that, every single time he did ask politely I'd agree. Once he was used to that rule, we ramped up just a bit, so that he needed to ask politely and finish the one problem or line he was on. And then that he needed to finish the page. This was over the course of maybe two years of gradually increasing -- not overnight.

 

Currently we do much like Jedi does. He has his assignments and he needs to find the time to get them done. If that means he's not doing anything else all day then that's what it means. At this point I'm up for making him stay up late to finish if he's been dawdling (not if I really did assign too much!), but I wouldn't do that to a five year old. :) It only works here because he does have the foresight to know that if he gets his work done quickly he has gobs of free time, night and weekends entirely off, and more than sufficient television time. And if he doesn't... he doesn't.

 

We've had a couple occasions of grumpiness where he thought I was assigning too much and I thought he was dawdling, and we settled it with a chess clock. One side timed how long he was working and the other side timed how long he was complaining, daydreaming, sharpening pencils (again), getting a snack.... I won. ;) And not only did I make the point, but he learned to recognize his own stalling tactics and how he was wasting his own free time. I think I posted about it somewhere here... maybe before the format switch... But again, not something I'd necessarily do first --better to start with the politeness rule.

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

We've had a couple occasions of grumpiness where he thought I was assigning too much and I thought he was dawdling, and we settled it with a chess clock. One side timed how long he was working and the other side timed how long he was complaining, daydreaming, sharpening pencils (again), getting a snack.... I won. ;)

 

I am SO stealing that idea. :D

[Paula in MS]

What I have found with my 6 year old is that if she knows that I am in a hurry for her to finish, she starts to complain thinking that I will just let her stop. It worked for awhile. Now, what I do is tell her that we can sit there all day until she finishes. I have all the time in the world. Then I move the laptop into the kitchen and sit beside her and surf the web. Then she realizes that I am not in a hurry for her to finish and she finishes.:001_smile:

 

Paula

[Mom-ninja.]

We've had a couple occasions of grumpiness where he thought I was assigning too much and I thought he was dawdling, and we settled it with a chess clock. One side timed how long he was working and the other side timed how long he was complaining, daydreaming, sharpening pencils (again), getting a snack.... I won. ;) And not only did I make the point, but he learned to recognize his own stalling tactics and how he was wasting his own free time. I think I posted about it somewhere here... maybe before the format switch... But again, not something I'd necessarily do first --better to start with the politeness rule.

 

I love this idea. Now where does one find a chess clock?

[KAR120C]

I love this idea. Now where does one find a chess clock?

I have my dad's now, but I'm pretty sure you could buy one at a hobby shop... For a while I was using an online "virtual chess clock" (try googling that), but I like having it on the table so I can reach over and click it at a moment's notice ;)