BarbecueMom Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 My mother moved in with us a few months ago for various reasons. I do love her, my kids adore her, and the extra set of hands is really nice to have around. That being said, she's about to drive me insane. There are a few personality quirks that are starting to test my patience. For instance, she would call me "little girl" as a nickname. I've told her that bothers me, so she'll catch herself at the last minute and try to call me "ditty do", which is some other bizarre nickname I've had over the years, but doesn't bug me as much. But the two get jumbled together and come out like, "dittle dirl". If it happened once, it's not that bad, but to her it's HILARIOUS and must become my new permanent nickname. It's spoken at every opportunity, it's written on notes and gift tags, and while I'm standing in the kitchen making dinner after a long day, she's standing next to me, singing some nonsense made-up song about said nickname! Which leads to the second thing, made-up nonsense songs. I'd expect it from small children, but a grown woman dancing and improvising an out-of-tune song with made up words while I'm trying to focus on something (cooking, reading, etc.) is driving me up the wall! I've asked her to knock it off, but she takes it as me saying, "Please stop being yourself." Well, maybe, at least while I'm trying to get something done. The last annoyance comes from anyone trying to ask a question to someone else, she jumps in with an answer about herself: Me: "(DS4), do you want milk or water with dinner?" Her: "I already have a drink!" DH: "(DS5), when you are done, please put your bowl on the counter." Her: "But I'm not done yet!" She's not mishearing. She thinks it's cute to answer other people's questions, and also wants attention. I don't think she's trying to annoy us. She's not manipulative or narcissistic, just incredibly immature in many respects. I guess this is JAWM, because I know I'll get the "ignore it and be glad you have a living/healthy/mostly-sane mother!" I already know that. I just needed to vent and see if anyone else lives with an adult like this, and wonder how you keep from yelling, "SHUT UP!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Is this permanent? I'd crack. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbecueMom Posted January 15, 2014 Author Share Posted January 15, 2014 Does your library have any community activities going on that she could take part of the day to participate in? That would get her out of the house, some adult conversation, and some attention. Beyond that, is there a job or businesses she could do? A pet she could walk frequently? Oh she works full time, plus two hours of commuting, and visits my brother who lives in a college dorm close to her work. I only see her for about three hours in the evenings. It's a long three hours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 O.k. I don't have anything useful, but I understand. Mom and I are best friends. We love each other very much. She is an awesome human being and we have always been close. She is my staunchest supporter and I will adore her to the day I die. But we have different personalities and although we have a similar outlook on life and child rearing, those differences in personality would be quite interesting.... If we had to live together, I know there would be some very, ummm, unique and special days?....and a lot of therapy. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbecueMom Posted January 15, 2014 Author Share Posted January 15, 2014 I think you're going to need a few pets that she can take for long walks and talk to. Or another adult who can give her the conversation she wants, without draining you of all the energy you have. Any of those swim or exercise classes locally that she can do in the evening? Dog isn't an option. I don't like dogs. I've tried to convince her to start going to Zumba again. Maybe in the spring. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plink Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Loving someone to bits doesn't always mean that living with them will be easy. When we took in DH's grandfather I thought I might loose my marbles, but in the end we found our groove and I wouldn't trade that time with him for the world. Give it some time. I promise that it gets better after a bit. You will still drive each other nuts at times, but it will become a new kind of normal and you will all learn how to treat one another and won't be so bothered by each other's quirks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 My mom lives with me most of the year. I love her, it's great to have her help...yada yada yada. But she drives me crazy after a while. I think it must be mutual because she's currently in Florida visiting her sisters for 2 months. She folds the towels differently than I do. She does the kids' laundry (which is their job) then complains that she thinks they need more responsibility. She washes my coffee cup in the middle of the morning when I plan to have more coffee. She sits on the couch in my office while I'm working and reads the paper - to me. There is a whole list of little things that are easy to put up with when someone visits that drive you crazy when they live with you. I love having a multi-generational household but having two women in the same house full-time takes a lot more patience that I have sometimes. I fell for you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Mousie Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Well ... it sounds like your whole family eats dinner together, and the two annoying "answer a direction given to someone else" instances sound like they occurred during dinner time. (I know you were just giving examples, and realize this may happen constantly in any scenario, but stick with me.) Is there any way to feed the kids before she gets home from work, and then have adult dinner time with you, Mom, and DH so she can get attention without being a goofball and you can have some reasonable adult interaction? If that won't work - and I realize it would only cover her workdays anyway - my only other suggestion is a two-hour Evening Quiet Time for all. ;) :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trlt Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 You are living my worse fear in life. I love my mom but I seriously would go insane if she lived with me. She lives right next to my sister and about 1000 miles from me and she keeps telling me when she can't live by herself anymore she is going to move in with me and not my sister or brother. Seriously...no way. You are definitely a better person than I am!! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbecueMom Posted January 15, 2014 Author Share Posted January 15, 2014 Yes, dinner time is the worst. That's the first time DH and I have had a chance to talk, the kids are trying to talk about their day, baby is getting fussy, DS4 is arguing about food, and I'm trying to make sure everyone has something they can and will eat (DS4 and mom are picky, I have intolerances/allergies). I can understand why she feels the need to compete a little for attention and find her "place". But it's becoming the last straw. She does wash my dishes though, which forgives a multitude of sins, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 She does wash my dishes though, which forgives a multitude of sins, lol. ****************************** She washes dishes? I'll take her on Thursdays, please. Thursday is my Nightmare Night of activities. :coolgleamA: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 I haven't read anything. Because of the title I am hearing Fine Young Cannibals in my head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kroe1 Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Welcome to my world. All I can say is get over it in any possible way you can. There will always be annoyances any time two adults live together. If it is a behavior that will break something like putting food down the sink without a disposal, then it is Ok to comment and offer suggestions. But if it is something that is an inherent personality trait, just cringe on the inside and smile on the outside. Good luck. Those of us with invasion from older parents need to stick together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Cornelia Snook Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Wow. It sounds like having an annoying neighbor kid over who won't ever go home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 My mother lived with us for a few months before she moved across the country. There were times I wanted to kill my own mother. However, she cooked dinner Monday thru Thursday so I tried really hard to suck it up. I am afraid there is not much you can do about it. She is who she is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 I think adults are often annoyed with other adults encroaching on their space. There's a reason the wives on that Sister Wives show all have their own space. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Is this permanent? I'd crack. :grouphug: :lol: Completely agree. I have a friend who makes jokes like your mom and it's totally annoying. It could be a sign of nerves. Anxiety -- like she's not sure how to fit in to the family. But, yeah, way annoying. Alley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JuanitaL Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 I haven't read anything. Because of the title I am hearing Fine Young Cannibals in my head. Yes! I immediately started singing this. My oldest son has already told me that I may live with him - if I have to - but I will have to get a job so I won't bother his (future, hypothetical) wife. He's my one that plans ahead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbecueMom Posted January 16, 2014 Author Share Posted January 16, 2014 :lol: Completely agree. I have a friend who makes jokes like your mom and it's totally annoying. It could be a sign of nerves. Anxiety -- like she's not sure how to fit in to the family. But, yeah, way annoying. Alley Yeah, anxiety is definitely part of it. But get this, my maternal extended family acts the same way. We had to start cutting down on family dinners because DH had a migraine before dessert every single time. They are good people, just with a crazy sense of humor. And not always the good kind of crazy. Now I have that Fine Young Cannibals song stuck in my head. Right there next to the sinus infection. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted January 16, 2014 Share Posted January 16, 2014 I haven't read anything. Because of the title I am hearing Fine Young Cannibals in my head. Gee, thanks a lot! Now so do I. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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