I think I've given up and done a disservice homeschooling...

[Tohru]

My son is 16 and will be 17 in February.  He was an only child for a very long time and homeschooling was bumpy, but good.  We did a combination of classical/CM.  Then when he was starting middle school, we had a suprise baby, then we had another surprise right when he should've been starting high school.

 

Technically, now he should be a junior.  But I think I quit homeschooling him full time around the time he was in middle school after the first baby - we had to sell a house, rent, and then buy a house. After we settled into our new home, I told myself we'd start doing school again, but weeks would go by before I realized we hadn't done anything.  Then more weeks would go by and we still hadn't done a thing. 

Now I'm at a point looking back and feel like I failed and did him a disservice "homeschooling" him.

 

At this point, I'm not sure what to do.  My husband was a high school drop out and I was emancipated at 16 so our experience isn't helping us figure out how to proceed with our son's education.  He reads at a college level, but he isn't doing anything schoolwise except working his way through Lial's to get up to speed for college algebra. He unschools on his own: English, history and science.

 

So I guess I'm needing advice or suggestions or other input...

Would it be bad if I just gave up high school now, considered him finished with homeschooling and let him go on to community college to get an Associates and then he can transfer that to a state University? 

What is the greatest benefit of going through the motions of actually finishing high school?  He has no desire to go off to college, he took his PSAT as a sophmore and didn't want to take as a junior.

Should I just jump back in to homescholing high school - Plan out courses for the next semester, do summer school and have him graduate next school year?

 

Please help.

[creekland]

What state are you in?  That could help people have an idea of how likely getting into community college is where you're at.  Here, at my specific community college, it would be impossible because he's not over 18 and doesn't have "college ready" test scores (either necessary for admittance here).

 

What were his PSAT scores (if you don't mind my asking).  If he's done well (many unschoolers do), then the advice can be a bit different than if he needs more foundation in places.

 

I'm also a little confused.  You say he doesn't want to go off to college, then ask about community college --> state U?

 

Not everyone needs college or many stop with 2 year degrees or certificate programs.  What path for his future would he like?  Can he spend some days shadowing in jobs he thinks he would like?  Knowing his desired end goal can also help plot his path for now.

 

In general, I would plot out some things/courses so he can graduate.  Without a high school diploma of some sort, there aren't many openings to him.   But there are many potential paths - even from this point.  I just feel I'd need to know more of his starting point and ending goal to give some potential paths.

 

FWIW... he's not "ruined."  "Ruined" only happens when people give up on life and/or any dreams.  I don't see that in what you are posting.

[Sunshine State Sue]

Check out your CC's website and have him work on the practice placements tests.  If he needs remedial work in some areas, start there. 

 

I don't know what the situation is at your CC.  Here, he could dual enroll for free.  Even if he doesn't pass the math section, he could take classes in other subjects, or vice versa.

 

It sounds like you have good intentions, but haven't followed through.  Let CC take over for you.  CC to state U is a fine path if he wants/needs a 4 year degree.  AA or trade school or certificate degree is a fine path as well.  Depends on what he wants to do. 

 

You know, I have a BA and a MS.  I only felt confident teaching high school math and 9th grade English.  If I had been emancipated at 16, I doubt I would feel confident teaching many HS subjects.  Let CC help you.  We are advised to start with 1 CC class in a subject the student is strong in OR start with a class called The College Experience that teaches time management, research skills, study skills, test-taking strategies, etc. I started ds in 2 classes: Intermediate Algebra (math is a strength) and The College Experience.

 

HTH!

[ChristineP]

 I second the opinion to go to the CC and take tests to see if he can take classes.  Sounds like a good plan!

[Ellie]

 

Would it be bad if I just gave up high school now, considered him finished with homeschooling and let him go on to community college to get an Associates and then he can transfer that to a state University? 

What is the greatest benefit of going through the motions of actually finishing high school?  He has no desire to go off to college, he took his PSAT as a sophmore and didn't want to take as a junior.

Should I just jump back in to homescholing high school - Plan out courses for the next semester, do summer school and have him graduate next school year?

 

Please help.

 

Please do not beat yourself up. We all homeschool differently, and it all works out (if the parents actually give a darn, which clearly you do).

 

I am satisfied with how I homeschooled my daughters; and almost from the beginning, when they were 4 and 7, I planned to have them do community college instead of high school. I saw no point in doing a boatload of stuff at home that would be repeated in college, especially in a state (California) that guaranteed that c.c. transfer students would be accepted at the state colleges and universities.

 

So heck yeah, enroll that boy in c.c. ASAP. Graduate him and call it good. Well done, Mom!

[Tohru]

Thank you for the sweet encouragement!  I feel much better and not so guilty.

 

He's such a good kid that wants to please, he'll take whatever route I ask.  I want him to get a college education, but it doesn't matter what kind of degree.  He doesn't know what he wants to do for a career yet.

 

Awhile ago we thought about going the concurrent enrollment path and he took the cc college entrance exams.  It isn't a problem for him to enroll there.  Although because of his age, there is the status issue on whether he is a concurrent student or if he is a college student.  They'll ask when he completed his high school program and we'll have to come up with a solid date of him being finished.  I guess if we go the cc route, my next step should be to call the university and verify that he could transfer without a high school diploma or SAT scores.

 

 

ETA:  My other fear is forcing him to grow-up too quickly.  I know that sounds strange, but since I had to face the adult world so young, I want him to be able to experience the carefreeness of his teen years longer. 

Would putting him in an adult enviroment (college) force him to face things that might need to be put off for a few more years?  I guess that is more of a parenting question...

 

[Corraleno]

Unless there's a compelling reason to do otherwise (e.g. concurrent students can only take 1 class, or can't get the classes they need because they're lowest priority for registration, etc.), I would register him as a concurrent student, and then give him a HS diploma when he gets his AA. That way he will have a HS diploma and transcript in addition to the AA, and he will still have the option of applying to 4 yr colleges as a freshman if he wants. IMO it leaves more options open for the future.

 

Your son sounds like a great kid who has made the best of a difficult situation, and the fact that you have a strong relationship is HUGE. You have definitely not "ruined" him!

 

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

Jackie

[Ellie]

 

ETA:  My other fear is forcing him to grow-up too quickly.  I know that sounds strange, but since I had to face the adult world so young, I want him to be able to experience the carefreeness of his teen years longer. 

Would putting him in an adult enviroment (college) force him to face things that might need to be put off for a few more years?  I guess that is more of a parenting question...

 

Honey girl, our job as parents is to help our children make a good transition to adulthood. Your young man will officially be an adult in a little over a year. You are helping him prepare to support himself--and probably a family. That he will still be a "teen" is really irrelevant. He will not need to be emancipated as you were, right? He will be able to stay in his loving, supportive home while he prepares for adulthood. He cannot wait until he is 21 to decide what to do with his life, KWIM? 

[coffeegal]

ETA:  My other fear is forcing him to grow-up too quickly.  I know that sounds strange, but since I had to face the adult world so young, I want him to be able to experience the carefreeness of his teen years longer. 

Would putting him in an adult enviroment (college) force him to face things that might need to be put off for a few more years?  I guess that is more of a parenting question...

 

I don't think so. A friend put her 16 yo son in the community college and he's thrived. He enjoys his classes and found several groups to play sports during the day. It's been wonderful for him. Also she commented that the large number of older adults returning to school created a mature atmosphere to education. They care about their studies. :001_smile:

 

 

[Nan in Mass]

If you told him that at 18, he had to move out of your house and find a way to support himself, he would have to grow up fast.  Living at home and going to the community college won't do that.  It will expand his world a bit.  He is old enough that that is healthy.  He shouldn't sign up for a full load of difficult courses right away.  That might be growing up too fast.  If you pick three courses, something like composition 1 and the how-to-go-to-college-study-skills course and something he is particularly intersted in (so he sees that college is interesting and doesn't become discouraged and unmotivated), that would be a good start.  Does he have a job?  He might not be able to manage that course load AND a full time job, to start out with.  You might even be able to get him signed up for the spring term, so he can start in January.  I would be careful about deciding NOT to give him a high school diploma.  In my state, that would mean he had to take the GED.  Taking the GED might be a good idea, actually, since it would solve any problems with the lack of diploma, but I don't know if you dislike the idea.  It is hard to get federal financial aid if you have neither a high school diploma nor a GED.  He needs something to say he is done with high school.  In my state, he would be allowed to take community college classes but he would not be allowed to pick a major and graduate without either a diploma or a GED.  Make sure when he signs up for the community college classes that he has an advisor, an actual person to go see if he has a problem, and check out the programs for students who need extra support.  He probably will need extra encouragement and help so he doesn't get lost or stuck and give up.  Community college is a wonderful idea!  Lots of us do that.

 

Lots of hugs,

Nan

[MicheleinMN]

I would do concurrent/dual enrollment for a year (or two) at the community college and then graduate him with a homeschool diploma and let him continue on with his education from there.  But it would also depend on financial side of the equation.  In Minnesota it's less expensive to be a dual enrolled (PSEO) student.

[creekland]

Since he's ready for cc courses as per testing, I'd go dual enrollment to keep ALL options open for him.  And since he's ready for cc at age 17, he certainly hasn't been ruined.  There are different paths to success.

 

ps  At 17, he's ready to start dealing with mature situations if he hasn't started already.  I like mine to start that well before they leave home.  We have never sheltered our kids... well, age appropriate for when they were younger, but...

[EKS]

Another vote for CC here.  At some CCs you can even earn an associate's degree and a high school diploma at the same time.

[imeverywoman]

You have received some great advice. Now, I offer a hug of encouragement! :)

[dbmamaz]

My daughter started community college dual enrolled at public high school, a few weeks before her 16th birthday, and she LOVED it!  We had to pay full tuition, though.  But dont rely on the university - idk, for my son, i'm just aiming for a 2-year degree.  Once he gets a job and starts working, and matures a bit, he can decide if he wants to go get a 4 year degree or not.  I think they need some motivation, or they are not likely to get through.  It takes some commitment to get through college - my parents both had advanced degrees and I went to 5 colleges without ever graduating.  

[Tess in the Burbs]

I have a friend whose kids both went to CC about 16. Not as dual enrollment. Just applied and took all the placement tests. Both started math pretty much at high school review but did well in other areas to start higher level classes. It was best for them. I am leaning toward that option for my oldest.

[ThisIsTheDay]

 

You've gotten helpful advice, but I wanted to add my encouragement to the others.  It sounds like you gave him a great grounding.  You said he's unschooling on his own.  While that may not fit in your vision of what you planned, it shows a drive and motivation, an interest in learning.  I would encourage you to focus on the good that's come of this, and move on with that in mind.  Plan realistically, knowing your own limitations, and helping him to set and reach his goals.

 

:grouphug:

 

 

[idnib]

ETA:  My other fear is forcing him to grow-up too quickly.  I know that sounds strange, but since I had to face the adult world so young, I want him to be able to experience the carefreeness of his teen years longer. 

Would putting him in an adult enviroment (college) force him to face things that might need to be put off for a few more years?  I guess that is more of a parenting question...

 

I think the things you went through is very different from this. The range of situations at this point could range from him staying home and doing homeschool high school for another year, to him moving out and supporting himself completely. Living at home and taking classes at CC is very much closer to the first.

 

He sounds like a great kid who has arrived at CC readiness despite obstacles. Congratulations!