Reading material and a child's age

[musicianmom]

What do you tell your kids when they want to read your books? Dd8 will often see me reading a book and then ask me how old she has to be to read it. She gets annoyed when I tell her 13, for example, and complains that it's not fair, wants to know why, etc.

 

I told her today that she will have her whole life to read books written for adults, and only a few years to be a child. Of course that went over about as well as it would have with me when I was a kid. But I don't know what else to tell her.

 

By the way, the two authors in question are Rex Stout and Georgette Heyer, in case anyone is familiar with them. She's technically capable of reading the books based on reading ability alone, and they're fairly tame from an adult perspective. But there are a lot of themes that I think should remain beyond a young child's knowledge.

 

Any ideas?

[Mergath]

If there's nothing objectionable in the book, I hand it over and let dd read it.  She once spent an hour reading a book of essays by Robert Louis Stevenson she snatched from me. :P  

 

If the book does have content that isn't appropriate, I just explain there are things in the book she'd find frightening and that aren't okay for kids, but that if she wants to read an adult book I can find her something else.  That usually works.

 

I don't have any philosophical issues with kids reading adult books in general, though.

[NorthwestMom]

I don't think you are wrong, however, I follow my own mother's lead and let my kids read pretty much anything, with my verrrrrrrry helpful commentary where needed.  :lol:

[Jean in Newcastle]

I would have no trouble letting my child read Rex Stout at that age.  I don't know the other author's work so I have no opinion.  Many 8 year olds would find Rex Stout rather boring anyway even if they could read the words.  

[Grover]

I read books that are just not suitable for DS yet - the topics etc are just not something he needs to know about yet.  I tell him that.  If they are ok then he's welcome to them when I'm finished.  He often recommends me his library books and vice versa... it's great!

 

Before I thought I needed to mention that he must always ask before reading one of my books he picked up and read a couple of chapters of a book I'd left by my chair.  He had nightmares for days, and much, much, MUCH debriefing was needed to talk through what he'd read.  We both learnt a lesson - he needs to check, and I need ot be more careful about where I leave my books.  He still brings it up occasionally - and it was nearly 4 years ago!

[Luanne]

Sometimes children just have to accept the fact that there are things adults can do that they can't.  I don't know why parents feel the need sometimes to let their 8 year old do what they do or even what the child's 14 year old sibling does just because they don't want them to feel left out.  I was the youngest child in my family and I was always last to do anything.  That is just life and I learned to deal with it.

[Alice]

We haven’t really had this issue as I’d let ds read most of what I do and he’s rarely asked. There have been things he’s asked about reading, usually through examples given in Caesar’s English that I’ve thought would be better to wait (Lord of the Flies is the one that comes to mind). They are things he could read and I’d be ok with but that I think he’d get more out of when he’s older or that I think would be sad or disturbing to him now. So I just tell him that. The same thing for movies if they want to watch something we don’t want them to. I just say something like “I know you and I think this book/movie will bother you and that it would be better to wait until you are older.†

 

My Mom pretty much let me watch or read whatever I wanted when I was little. I can still remember being FURIOUS at her for not letting me watch The Exorcist when I was about 8 or 9 and it was on TV. She was watching it (which surprised me now but she went through a paranormal phase) and it was the first (and maybe only) time I was banned. Now, I’m thankful, super thankful as scary stuff like that really freaks me out. But I didn’t understand then and I don’t think anything she said would have made me understand. Sometimes it’s ok for a kid to be not happy with your decisions as a parent. She might just not like your answer but you’ll both have to learn to live with it. 

[Megbo]

I'm okay with the boys reading most of my books, but I do let them know whether I think they'll enjoy it or not. If I happen to read a particularly inappropriate book, I just explain that it's like an R-rated movie - okay for adults as long as they don't get too scared, but not okay for kids. 

[AK_Mom4]

I have only a handful of books that are on my Ask First shelf. These are some sci-fi books with VERRRRY dark themes. Other than that, all my books are fair game.

[celticmom]

Dd9 has refused to read Rick Riordan books because she was worried that they would give her bad dreams. She also thinks weddings are gross because the bride and groom kiss at the end. I just tell her the book is more intense than Riordan or grosser than a wedding or both. If one or the other were not true I would let her read it.

[Ottakee]

I was an early and very strong reader. I could read books way beyond my maturity level but I don't think it was good for me. I read Little Women, Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm and a few other more classics way too early and it really ruined the books for me as I didn't enjoy them like I should have. Same thing with some other books.

 

I would have no problem saying, No, you can't until you are older and then provide lots of other good age appropriate books.

[Farrar]

While I do think it's better for kids to wait for the "right moment" for a book, I won't stop a kid from reading a book unless there's a specific reason.  "It's about romance" or "it's for adults" aren't really enough for me.  Why turn something into forbidden fruit when you don't need to?