If you've had decent-sleeping babies

[HSinNH]

Each of my kids had their own special song that I would sing to them before every nap/sleep time from day one. It was their "signal" that it was time to sleep. I never nursed or rocked them to sleep, but would let them get drowsy, then sing their song, then lay them down. They are now 10 and 12 and I STILL sing their special song to them most nights. They do not need it anymore, but it is our special thing!

 

ETA: They are both good sleepers.

[Pamela H in Texas]

You probably already got lots of advice.  

Since we get babies with a variety of backgrounds we realize that all children are different.  But generally, I do think we can expect a reasonable amount of sleep even with an infant.

 

We almost always put babies to bed awake.  I really think this is key because things don't change later.

We wait until they are tired to put them down.

Comfort baby before putting her down rather than putting a crying baby in bed.

I don't worry about a minute or two (literally) of carrying on (fussing, protest, talking, etc).

I'd never let a baby cry it out due to attachment/trust cycle*** 

We have a basic schedule based on what they show they need.

We manipulate the schedule as necessary based on our needs (therapy appointments, consistent bedtime, etc).  This has to be done carefully based on the basic schedule of the child.  It is a balancing act.  Manipulation includes waking a sleeping baby, "topping off," etc.  

We *never* put cereal in a bottle.

We swaddle even older infants (though we may not put their arms in or understand they will pull them out).

We use white noise in every bedroom (loud-ish to loud fans).  

Except with Monkey, we don't quiet the household more than normal

When infants get up for food, I'm all business.  We eat, we change (usually during burp time), we go straight back to sleep.

 

 

***obviously the attachment/trust cycle is based on a number of factors including that no parent could perfectly address everything.  My opinion is that I will make enough mistakes naturally or have to go against what is best occasionally (like I had to withhold food from LL Monday morning before surgery or PLEASE put a baby down if you're getting frustrated).  I don't want to be more inconsistent in meeting the baby's needs than that.

[NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too]

We used a routine similar to Babywise recommendations.  Lots of other great suggestions offered here too.  Hope you find success soon!

 

Followed Babywise suggestions (with some common sense tweaking) and both of mine slept through the night at about 6-weeks..

 

BTW, I breastfed for the first 6-7 months and never had any problems with scheduled feedings.

 

Honestly, I hesitated to suggest Babywise because the Ezzo's are looked upon by some as almost as badly as the Pearls.

 

hth

 

K

[Joanne]

Followed Babywise suggestions (with some common sense tweaking) and both of mine slept through the night at about 6-weeks..

 

BTW, I breastfed for the first 6-7 months and never had any problems with scheduled feedings.

 

Honestly, I hesitated to suggest Babywise because the Ezzo's are looked upon by some as almost as badly as the Pearls.

 

hth

 

K

 

Yea. Failure to thrive and dead babies will do that. Not to mention the bad theology and character issues.

[Mbelle]

My first baby woke alot.  The second did much better, but still woke some.  My third started sleeping through the night at 7 weeks.  I thought I had won the lottery!  Although he began to wake again during the night at 6 months:(  He's 14 months and still waking once or twice.  I hope he starts sleeping again soon!!  I'm so tired today that I'm about to fall down.

[Caribbean Queen]

Bore them to sleep.  No turning on lights, talking, or doing anything interesting at night. 

I wake toddlers up early, have them play outside, and limit screen time so they are tired at night. 

 

When toddlers won't lay quietly, I treat it like any other disobedience.  Surprisingly, a very effective "punishment" was to put a toddler on the floor, when he was kicking me and rolling all over the bed.  All my children hated that very much, and were more than willing to lay quietly in my bed, rather than be on the floor.  Older toddlers who no longer co-slept have gotten threats of not being able to watch a DVD the next day. I never had to follow through on that threat.

 

All my children were good sleepers and I never used CIO or Babywise.

[Caribbean Queen]

Followed Babywise suggestions (with some common sense tweaking) and both of mine slept through the night at about 6-weeks..

 

BTW, I breastfed for the first 6-7 months and never had any problems with scheduled feedings.

 

 

Maybe you have a short definition of night.  Not 8:00 p.m. to 6:30 a.m?

 

Six months isn't very long.  Do you think the schedule influenced your baby to wean so young?

[fairfarmhand]

Maybe you have a short definition of night.  Not 8:00 p.m. to 6:30 a.m?

 

 

 

I think sleeping through the night at less than 8 months or so would be like sleeping from 10 or 11 pm to 5. So a six hour stretch for my very small ones was HEAVENLY!  That's what I considered sleeping all night. Then the baby (who was in a crib. I couldn't sleep very well all night with an infant in the bed) might be tucked in beside me for another hour or two while I dozed.

[PeacefulChaos]

Lol!

Unfortunately, I don't think there is a formula... I'm sure some parents say it's because they co sleep or because they put their kids in their own beds, etc.

my 3 slept through the night at 7, 8, and 9 weeks, respectively. As in, 9-12 hours. Currently, they go to bed at 9 and the earliest riser we have will wake up around 730-8 at the earliest. My four year old still takes naps daily.

When they were babies, I was always very set on their schedules, when they could sleep during the day (once they hit a couple of months/ past the point of sleeping all the time), how much light was in their room (daytime naps were still light out - open shades so the light was getting in but not bright/ in their face; nighttime feedings, when still necessary, kept dark with just a low lamp and minimal stimulation - no talking to baby, just a diaper change and a bottle), the outside noise (I always put all of them to bed with something - a radio, a cd, whatever, so they wouldn't have the habit of going to sleep in silence).

I would never dream of co sleeping because I love MY sleep too much for that. And my bed is mine, not theirs. So link started out in his crib from day 1 - Astro and pink were in bassinet/pack n play in my room til they slept through the night and were moved ASAP after.

Overall, though, I don't know that ANY of these things had any effect on their sleeping habits. I also love sleep lol... We are just a family/ household that likes our sleep!! Even when I babysat for awhile, the little boy - who wasn't an awesome nap-taker at home, would sleep for 4 hours straight at nap at my house! :lol:

 

 

Eta: we never, ever put a baby to bed already asleep. I'm a firm believer that babies need to learn that for themselves (how to get to sleep, that is). We never had to do CIO or anything like that.

I never read any books. I just did what I did because it made sense to me, and because I had seen some prime examples (in extended family) of what I knew I DIDNT want to do.

[ktgrok]

I have no idea what your faith is, but found this on a Catholic Blog and thought it might help with perspective...remember that babies count as "the least of these", and how we react to them is how we react to Jesus. Changes the mental dynamic a bit anyway, as we figure it out. http://www.patheos.com/blogs/faithonthecouch/2013/04/parenting-and-the-theology-of-the-body-can-babies-self-soothe/

[NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too]

Maybe you have a short definition of night.  Not 8:00 p.m. to 6:30 a.m?

 

Six months isn't very long.  Do you think the schedule influenced your baby to wean so young?

 

 

I guess I have a short definition of night (9:30 - 6:30), give or take an hour. I remember breastfeeding every 3-4 hours during the day and night and then slowly stretching out the night feedings. When they were eating solids, then they went down at 8:30pm, but still awoke at 6:30am like clockwork. 

 

The thing that influenced my early weaning was that I became pregnant with the second child.  I only weened because my doctor recommended I do so upon learning of my pregnancy.  

 

Both were happy and very healthy babies.  

[OrganicAnn]

We tried all the sleep books and CDs.   We gave them a good try of at least 3 weeks.   They just don't work on some kids!    They may work on kids who could be good sleepers, but the parents are not consistent.   

 

I read an article by a mom who had a friend who thought she so smart about getting kids to sleep, so the mom invited friend over to show her what to do to get the child to sleep.   Together they did the bath, read the books cuddled in the bed, did prayers or other rituals and turned off the light.   The "thought she was an expert" friend said "then he should be asleep".   Several hours later he was still awake and the friend said "now I understand what you are saying."

 

I used to sit in the dark in my DD room for hours.   It is a good time to pray or take a nap.  

 

They do improve with age.   Routine and consistency help.

 

 

 

[mathmarm]

Jr. is a naturally sleepy little guy who is happily sleeping his new-born infant life away. He is more alert at night now, but Hubby tends to wake him up in the evenings when he gets home from work to play with him then anyway. At night, we co-sleep and so far haven't had any majorly restless nights. I don't know when Jr. will wake up more permanently but so far, so good. We intend to continue co-sleeping for the foreseeable future.

[wendyroo]

I have three children who are all good sleepers.  In general they start sleeping 12 hours at night (7pm to 7am) between 4 and 6 months old.  The older two nursed until just before their second birthdays (the youngest is only 3 months now) and weaned themselves as I entered the third trimester of pregnancy.

 

I nudge my babies onto a flexible routine pretty earlier.  I make sure they are getting full feedings, I put them down for naps (swaddled and awake) before they seem tired and if they wake after only a short catnap I see if I can gently convince them to sleep a bit longer by giving them a pacifier or putting them in their swing.  During the day I wake them to eat at the 2.5 to 3 hour mark and cluster feed in the late afternoon and evening.

 

We have used similar nap and bedtime routines since the kids were babies.  While I'm not opposed to a few minutes of fussing, even that was sporadic.  My 3 month old goes down for three naps (each 1.5 to 2 hours) a day in his crib with no crying and sleeps in my arms for a fourth catnap during the witching hour.  My 2 and 4 year olds each hear a story before naps and nights and then I tuck then in and leave the room and they fall asleep without complaint.

 

We are consistent in our routines and show respect for the kids' sleep needs by almost always being home when they need to nap or be in bed.

 

Wendy

[Aspasia]

All three of mine have been and are great sleepers. I don't know if it's because of what I do or if they just sleep well, but here's what I do:

 

-Cosleeping is huge. I've never been up at night walking the halls with a crying baby. Not even once. Baby cries, I nurse him/her, baby hoes back to sleep. End of story. Our babies have moved into their cribs at various ages, from 3 months to 12 months, depending on how the baby. (Ds just hated sleeping next to me. He squirmed and just seemed uncomfortable until I moved him to his crib.)

- Routine. With newborns, they just sleep whenever, but by a few months, my babies always go to bed at 7:00. My 6yo is just now inching toward a later bed time. My kids sleep from 7-7. (Babies wake up and nurse, but by about 10 months, they sleep the whole 12 hours.)

- keep the lights off. I never, ever, ever communicate to a baby or small child that being awake in the middle of then night is going to fly with me. I have friends who talk about watching tv late at night with a baby who refuses to sleep. No way. Night time is for sleeping. Period. Once I put a baby (or by child) to bed, that person remains in their room until it's time to wake up in the morning. No exceptions. They understand this at an early age. They may try to test it once or twice a year, but I shut it down immediately, and they go back to staying in their rooms.

- All of my babies have gone through a period (usually around 12 months) where they wake up and fuss a few times in the night. I give them a few minutes to work it out on their own, and sometimes they do. Other times I'll go in after a few minutes, hold them, reassure, put them back in the crib, and leave. But they never, ever get out of their room.

[kbutton]

Medically, 6 hours is "through the night" for the littlest ones. When they hit that milestone depends a great deal on their growth patterns--it's hard to sleep hungry. Both of my kids were extremely alert babies when awake, and I gave them as much interaction as possible during the day (in spurts), which wore them out.

 

There is no magic formula, but you can watch your children for cues as to what helps them the best and bring out the best in each child. Don't be afraid to completely reject conventional wisdom if necessary (like the idea that baths before bed are soothing--my kids found baths to be totally over-stimulating, so they went to bed dirty). It's okay for your child's individual needs to trump a sacred cow. Be prepared to accept their biology, and then do your best with what you have to work with. If you don't discern cues naturally, you might want to take notes about what your days and nights are like and look for patterns that affect your kids' sleep. My hubby was a middle of the road sleeper, I think. I basically didn't sleep as a baby. By 18 months, I went to bed at 10 PM, and then I got up at 6 AM; no naps, played hard all day. My kids were a blend of the two of us.

 

My BF boy slept fine when he didn't hurt from reflux, but because he was often in pain and had to be in a specific position to sleep, he became a light sleeper. We tiptoed, used white noise, etc., and I felt zero guilt over it. Even a mildly wet diaper woke him up. BF boy did not need the same amount of sleep every night (still doesn't), so routine didn't help him out (it didn't spoil him to have some variety). We had to wait until he was tired, or sleep was pointless. When I weaned this one (last feeding at 16 or so mo.), we cut out the bedtime feeding first and then phased out the others gradually.

 

Bottle-fed boy... He made his own routine, and we respected it. We didn't force one on him. We used soothing music, radio static, etc. (before noise machines), patted him on the back, anything that helped him self-sooth. He developed a habit of bed at 8 by the time he was @two mo. old--we could set our clock by his internal bedtime. As soon as he was walking, he'd walk down the hall with a blanket and a bottle of milk promptly at 8, even when we were staying somewhere else. If we were at a friend's house for the evening, we took a pack 'n play, and he headed for it promptly at 8 too. He got up at 6:30 every day. We could make all kinds of noise while he was asleep as long as we didn't pass the threshold of his room.

 

Neither boy napped past 18 months, and they scarcely napped by 9 months (at most, one 45 minute nap per day). One would not sleep at all at night if he napped at all during the day. When others (babysitters, grandparents, etc.) violated my kids' natural tendencies and gave them baths at night or let them nap (because "that's what you're supposed to do"), we paid for it for days afterward.

[trulycrabby]

Good ventilation; I always kept a large fan running in the room which also provided white noise.

 

Routine!

 

Swaddle! What a life saver!

 

Not too much stimulation in the evenings before bedtime.

 

Keep the lights low or minimal for middle of the night nursing, no conversation, just nurse, change the diaper, then back to bed.