Scarlett Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 I hope I didn't sound like I wouldn't kick my dh to the curb if I caught him cheating on me -- I definitely would (and he knows it!) I just meant that it's easier to say it than it is to do it. :) And it is easy to say it could never happen to you or your spouse...but it happens all of the time... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 I hope I didn't sound like I wouldn't kick my dh to the curb if I caught him cheating on me -- I definitely would (and he knows it!) I just meant that it's easier to say it than it is to do it. :) And it is easy to say it could never happen to you or your spouse...but it happens all of the time... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted August 6, 2013 Share Posted August 6, 2013 And it is easy to say it could never happen to you or your spouse...but it happens all of the time... That is so true. Most people probably never see it coming -- and maybe rightfully so, because we're supposed to be able to trust our spouses, and it would be terrible to be in a marriage where you felt you had to keep constant tabs on your dh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 It's interesting. This thread has divided into camps exactly the same way as when I posted about this same type of issue. It seems to happen almost automatically on many topics these days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 How would you react? My DH was in a band for a few years in his 20s (twenty years ago). He was the lead singer. The band had a lot of faithful followers. Not too long ago, one of these women followers found my DH on Facebook and friend requested him. My DH remembered her and accepted it, but that's about as far as it went. My DH took the morning off today and took our DD somewhere and posted a pic of her on Facebook from where they were. This woman said, "Too bad I'm working or we could have met for lunch." I was kind of taken aback by it because I know I would NEVER go to lunch with someone I really only knew from a band 20 years ago and ESPECIALLY since he's married. I asked my DH why she'd even mention going out to lunch and he said he had no idea and pointed out that he didn't respond to her, nor would he ever go to lunch with her. I trust him, but he doesn't understand why I'm so upset about it. He kind of got a laugh out of it because I'm rarely jealous of other women. What are your thoughts? Is it weird that she wanted to do lunch with him? Is it innocent because she posted it for the world to see? Would you be upset/jealous? This is why I think everything about Facebook is a bad idea. This is why we will never be on Facebook. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
awisha. Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 Note to self: Don't post on anyone's FB page if I don't want to be seen as a filthy whore by insecure people.I wish I could like this more than once!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 This is why I think everything about Facebook is a bad idea. This is why we will never be on Facebook. Yeah, you do have a point. FB brews a colossal amount of trouble. I think it would be wise to quit FB entirely. I've been considering it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 I wouldn't be upset but I would be very aware that that woman is after your man! Keep her at arms length. ETA: I would ask DH to unfriendly her just to send her a message that he isn't interested. Or have him put her on some setting where she doesn't see what he posts. Re: the Innocence of Facebook, I'm willing to wager more than one affair has been started by such joking means. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unfrumpable. Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 Spouses cheating on their wives/husbands has been going on for a lot longer than FB has been about. Just saying....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erin Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 Of course it has. But Facebook opens people up in a manner that we've never seen before. BTW, I love my FB and I've never considered giving mine up. But I'm not naive to what that constant, instant contact can create, either... (wow. Say that ten times fast. lol) Re: the Innocence of Facebook, I'm willing to wager more than one affair has been started by such joking means. You'd probably be right. Facebook Cited In A Third of UK Divorce Cases And I would bet the vast majority of people who were the betrayed spouse thought THEIR marriage was fine, too. Nor would their spouse ever do something like that... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 This whole topic makes me so glad my hubby doesn't use a computer--doesn't even know how to log on. Now I need to go apologize to him for being crabby when he asked for help getting online for a work-related issue yesterday. PS. "A woman from my husband's past" implies, at least to me, that they had a "past." As in, more than a passing acquaintance. If a passing acquaintance mentioned getting together with hubby, I'd blow it off Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 One can always shut down a "friendship" that's gathering speed in the wrong direction. This is so much easier said than done. Especially if you're lonely to begin with, or vulnerable in some way. I agree with Quill. For me, the "let's get closer" stuff stopped with other men when I committed to my husband. Otherwise, I will rationalize more than would be wise (for me) and I will get in over my head. I know that about myself. I like attention, okay? :blushing: Yes, it would be entirely possible for someone to tip the scales, so to speak. I might see it coming, but then again... why risk it? Perhaps I could "shut it down." Perhaps not. It's the "perhaps not" that gives me pause. I love my husband, and I am faithful. Always have been, plan to always be. I would hate to break his heart. So, I don't get the ball rolling in the wrong (for me) direction with someone who is "just a friend." I have had "offers" of friendship with other men. I'm not sure all of them were platonic, exactly. :sad: We are both fairly certain that a former pastor of ours was testing the waters with me. We left that church. :blink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted August 7, 2013 Share Posted August 7, 2013 This whole topic makes me so glad my hubby doesn't use a computer--doesn't even know how to log on. Now I need to go apologize to him for being crabby when he asked for help getting online for a work-related issue yesterday. PS. "A woman from my husband's past" implies, at least to me, that they had a "past." As in, more than a passing acquaintance. If a passing acquaintance mentioned getting together with hubby, I'd blow it off :iagree: exactly the same here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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