Is this common? College notifying parents of a scholarship deadline?

[Hoggirl]

I was wondering how common this is - I found it rather surprising.

 

My ds recently applied to our state flagship. With certain grades and test scores one is automatically invited to apply for certain fellowships. He received an e-mail with the application inviting him to apply for the these. However, about three days later both my husband and I received e-mails indicating that he had been sent this information about applying for fellowships and that the priority deadline was November 15th and the final deadline was such and such date (don't remember) and...

 

"We also want to let you know a little more about the selection process so that you can make sure ds is staying on track."

 

I lifted this quote straight from the e-mail and only changed his name to "ds."

 

Obviously he had to indicate our e-mail addresses on his application. I just found their notifying us and suggesting we keep him on track sort of odd? Unusual? I don't know....something!

 

I *am* working with ds as he goes through this college application process. I will help him stay on track and manage deadlines, but IMO this is really his responsibility. In this era where "helicopter parents" are bashed by most everyone, I found it almost hypocritical that a university would suggest I keep my ds on track. In a year he will be gone, and I will not be there to keep him on track!

I suppose they are just trying to cover their behinds to some extent, but inviting supervision by a parent is not a precedent I would want to establish if I were a university.

 

What do y'all think about this?

[regentrude]

I just attended an information session where this was addressed. It seems that many parents want to be involved and WANT this information, so colleges offer the option for parents to receive duplicates of any messages directed to the student. I see this as a direct response to the wishes of most parents who otherwise would keep bugging the college with requests for information- much easier for the school to do it this way than to deal with all the irate parents who did *not* get info and who want to fix what their kids botched. But I would be surprised if it was not possible to opt out of those emails. And you can ignore them and rely on your student to stay on track if you so wish.

 

ETA: Many universities now have parents' associations, parent newsletters, parent-whatevers. I regularly receive mail from the university where DD is enrolled, about discussions I should have with my student etc. I see this as a way of the university to cater to a generation of parents who want to be more involved with their college students. I guess in order to be competetive and attract students, the school needs to make parents feel comfortable as well.

[Candid]

I would assume a college has a track record of how the process works and when to involve parents and when not to. Each year they can collect data on these sorts of things and over time learn what gets the best results.

 

I'm not sure why it would be odd one way or the other. 

[Myra]

WIth all the emails and snail mails you receive starting with the award packageand going forward until your "freshman" is off to first day of classes, I am appreciative that the colleges send out reminders to both the student and the parent(s).  It is so easy to get overwhelmed during this process (health insurance waivers, physicals, transcripts, enrollment, purchasing books, orientation, dorm rooms, meal plans, loan deadlines, scholarship applications, and the list goes on and on) that I am appreciative that the college gives my son the option to have (or opt not) his parents receive duplicate notifications especially in areas financial! I don't consider that helicopter parenting but rather a parent-student-college partnership with the "parent" role decreasing each year as the student attends the college.  

 

 

Myra

[NCMom]

I was wondering how common this is - I found it rather surprising.

 

My ds recently applied to our state flagship. With certain grades and test scores one is automatically invited to apply for certain fellowships. He received an e-mail with the application inviting him to apply for the these. However, about three days later both my husband and I received e-mails indicating that he had been sent this information about applying for fellowships and that the priority deadline was November 15th and the final deadline was such and such date (don't remember) and...

 

"We also want to let you know a little more about the selection process so that you can make sure ds is staying on track."

 

I lifted this quote straight from the e-mail and only changed his name to "ds."

 

Obviously he had to indicate our e-mail addresses on his application. I just found their notifying us and suggesting we keep him on track sort of odd? Unusual? I don't know....something!

 

I *am* working with ds as he goes through this college application process. I will help him stay on track and manage deadlines, but IMO this is really his responsibility. In this era where "helicopter parents" are bashed by most everyone, I found it almost hypocritical that a university would suggest I keep my ds on track. In a year he will be gone, and I will not be there to keep him on track!

I suppose they are just trying to cover their behinds to some extent, but inviting supervision by a parent is not a precedent I would want to establish if I were a university.

 

What do y'all think about this?

 

I like it.  She is not going through the process alone; I am here to help.

 

By senior year, I doubt I will need to help much, but for now she asked to send my email to all of the colleges she is considering so I get emailed about deadlines, etc.

Georgia

[EKS]

Maybe the college feels that receiving a scholarship has the potential to affect parents more than the student himself.  I'd be thrilled to get this information.

[katilac]

When I arrived for a scholarship interview 30 years ago, they asked my mom is she would like to sit in, lol. (we declined)

 

Not unusual. Not new.

[laundrycrisis]

I tried and tried to stop my university from sending MY mail to my dad's house.  This nonsense went on for years.  I didn't even live with him before I went to college, and once I moved out for college, I never lived with either of my parents again.  But they kept sending them MY mail.  I think I was a junior before I got them to stop, and there was swearing involved.

 

I think that for incoming traditional freshman, it's  good idea for a parent to receive a copy of everything.  I also think it is a good idea to give a student the option at enrollment of having parents receive copies of certain correspondence, as a convenience to the student. 

[SkateLeft]

Some colleges cater more towards parents than others, and I don't think that's anything new. None of my daughter's potential universities sent us emails like that, but I'm not surprised to hear they're out there.

 

I was continually amazed when we'd do college tours and other parents would ask questions like, "How will I keep track of my student's grades?" and "How will I know how they did on their midterms?" I think many parents have the expectation that universities will keep them in the loop. Parents probably have access to high school communications, teachers and grades easily via the internet, so they expect that from universities also.

 

Once your child is a student, things can change a bit. When we went to orientation, we were continually reminded that in order to remain in the communication loop, our student would have to fill out FERPA releases if we wanted any information from the school at all.

[Hoggirl]

Thanks for the various insights. It's not that I necessarily dislike it - I was just surprised by it. I don't know if he has had other opt-in options on notifications to us or not. I'll have to ask him. I had no idea that some colleges offered parent organizations!

 

I had heard of the FERPA thing. My understanding is that this is a good idea to have students sign so that parents can deal with the bursar's office.

[ThisIsTheDay]

Cynthia, it was my understanding from dd's orientation that a FERPA release must be signed each NEW time the school may share information with the parent.  It's not a "sign once, you're in" deal.

 

I am surprised by the email you received from the school.  Most of our orientation ("our" because it was for parents and students) focused on how the parents will be letting their children go.  We were on two very separate tracks. "Kids" at this age vary widely in their independence and reliance on parents.  I am always surprised to see how many parents hold their kids' hands for much of this--and then I sometimes feel guilty for not doing more.  It's all balance, at least at my house.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

Since a college's yield often comes down to best financial aid package I can see how it would be in the school's interest to make sure a student completed the scholarship app.

 

I understand the helicopter parent issue. I'm not going to call profs to excuse my kids unless there is a hospitalization involved.

 

By the same token schools do expect parents to be deeply involved in paying for school. So I don't think they get to just play the card that the student is an independent adult and still demand parental FAFSA info and decline to accept a student as financially independent. Adulthood is a process. Some are ready long before hs graduation or their 18th birthday. Some are still working on it for a while longer.

[Annie G]

Dd's school includes us in things like scholarships and loans, but not in things like registering for classes or housing requests. I think it's a happy medium- they're keeping us informed about things they know are costing US money.  Without our help, dd could not attend this school. There are SO many forms- so many things to submit. Immunization records, proof of insurance,  loan counseling, employment application...the list can be overwhelming for a kid already anxious about leaving for college.  

 

But they're not encouraging helicopter parenting- we have no involvement in her class schedule or the questionnaire that led to where she's living and who her housemates are.

 

 My hope is that by the time she graduates she'll be able to handle all these details and deadlines on her own. 

[Barbara H]

One surprising thing about teenagers - while a lot of them spend huge amounts of time connected to electronics, they don't necessarily use email regularly. So, I suspect part of what this reflects is that colleges have figured out it is much more effective to reach parents by email than it is to reach students.

 

Also there is a huge range of normal in how much students are interested in the details of the college admissions process. Sure, it would be great if they all liked to attend to the details, but a lot of them just aren't there yet and it can still turn out just fine. While certain aspects of the process, such as the essays, really need to belong to the student. Parents do have a role particularly when it comes to financial matters.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

One surprising thing about teenagers - while a lot of them spend huge amounts of time connected to electronics, they don't necessarily use email regularly. So, I suspect part of what this reflects is that colleges have figured out it is much more effective to reach parents by email than it is to reach students.

 

Also there is a huge range of normal in how much students are interested in the details of the college admissions process. Sure, it would be great if they all liked to attend to the details, but a lot of them just aren't there yet and it can still turn out just fine. While certain aspects of the process, such as the essays, really need to belong to the student. Parents do have a role particularly when it comes to financial matters.

 

The bolded is something I've noticed with the students I see working through service academy applications.  At some point they put an email address on the application, but then they don't go back and check for a response.  This was something I tried to make a point of at the last admissions forum I spoke at.  Not responding to emails or phone calls is often a choice to not complete the application.  When the student wakes up in December or March and decides to start applying, they have often already missed several deadlines. 

 

I think that it is important to convey to teens that texting and twitter are ways of communicating with friends, but that official correspondence isn't going to happen in 140 characters.

 

[Julie in MN]

I would assume a college has a track record of how the process works and when to involve parents and when not to. Each year they can collect data on these sorts of things and over time learn what gets the best results.

 

I'm sure that's the real reason.  Especially for new freshmen.

 

But really, the whole financial package at college is based on the parent's income, using the FAFSA (probably because they are considered "the main taxpayer").  So it's assumed that the parent will be paying the most and therefore likely to be most helped by any kind of scholarship or aid, rather than affecting the student (whether or not that is true).

 

Julie