tex-mex Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 Thinking about some of the older threads and most recently, the Mom/Teacher who retired and wanted a 3rd (or 4th?) Retirement Party... and saw this article about Instagram: http://news.yahoo.co...-170052200.html I honestly think I did (back in the day -- we're talking late 70's) a Polaroid "selfie" that came out horribly. Another "Kodak DISC" camera selfie back in 1985 that was not bad, but back then... you got the photo printed and no one was interested in seeing your photos back then. LOL As I age, the LAST thing I want is a photo of me on FB or anywhere!! Aiiiyyyeeee. :svengo: Are we now a generation of narcissists? MySpace, Instagram, FB, Linked In... and who knows what years from now the internet will produce to show everyone who we are. I kinda see if one was young and using this medium (instead of old fashioned newspaper announcements -- remember those?) to let family and friends how you are doing over the years. But some young kiddos take it to the extreme and post just about everything. And then there are those kids who have a public FB page to boast to everyone after graduation, college, and marriage like they are a mini-celebrity... the popular Queen Bee who still thinks of herself as a QB. Thoughts? Am I the only one who thinks this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 There have always been people who've thought a bit too highly of themselves. It's just easier nowadays for them to get an audience beyond their IRL social circle. The type of folks who put up "look at me" photos on social media were the kind who'd force you to sit through their slideshows back a couple decades ago. Blogging has replaced pontificating at cocktail parties, BBQ's, or the local bar. If a HS mom invited me to a "retirement" party after her child graduated, I'd probably roll my eyes a bit, but go with a token gift (flowers or a bottle of wine or the like). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Um_2_4 Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 I can see that the "easy access" certainly can contribute to the perpetuation of the narcissistic tendencies and exasperate them. In the "old days" a narcissistic person had only those around them to "hound" (can't think of a better word LOL) for attention. Now the whole net is out there......waiting.... Oh my.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TracyP Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 I'm not sure if there is complete agreement, but some psychologists certainly think so. Narcissism Epidemic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beaners Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 I've had a Facebook account since they first started up and only a few universities were initially able to access it. I generally enjoy knowing what my friends and acquaintances are up to. I don't know anyone who posts photos just of themselves often enough for me to notice it. I do see lots of pictures of groups of people out doing things. I loved being able to see pictures of one of my friends when she was in Africa with the Peace Corps. I love seeing all the new baby pictures my friends post. One woman that used to work with my husband had a baby around the same time my youngest was born, and she posts a new photo of him almost every day. He is adorable! I love it! I think it might depend on how you view friendships and Facebook. I know that my generation likes to be able to use Facebook and similar things to stay loosely connected to all the people that you might otherwise only see at a reunion. You aren't best friends with everyone you know on Facebook, but it's easier to say, "Hey, I'm going to be in town in a couple weeks. Want to grab coffee together?" and it's easier to have something to talk about if you have kept in contact. Generally, my friends and I don't use Facebook as a one-sided attempt to spam our friends with our lives. We comment back and forth on what everyone is doing. We ask for new pictures of the kids. We tell them to check out a certain restaurant when they post their photos while on vacation. Sometimes we even have political conversations. We just like knowing what everyone is up to, but I think that dynamic makes a lot of other people uncomfortable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 No, not at all. NPD is way more complex and evil. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TracyP Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 Oh, and I should clarify - the article I linked doesn't claim that we are all a bunch of narcissists but that there is a real rise in narcissism, that narcissism is not normal, and that we (the normal) should not let ourselves get sucked in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 I think that social media worsens my introversion tendencies. I value my privacy so highly that I've never felt any desire whatsoever to participate in any form of social media beyond message boards where I can remain anonymous. The very thought of posting things under my real name, posting photos of myself, posting endlessly about my activities, etc., makes me want to crawl back in my cave and roll the boulder across the opening. :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted June 25, 2013 Author Share Posted June 25, 2013 No, not at all. NPD is way more complex and evil. Good point, Joanne. I'm not sure if there is complete agreement, but some psychologists certainly think so. Narcissism Epidemic Hmmm... I'll have to go and read this article. Thanks!! :001_smile: There have always been people who've thought a bit too highly of themselves. It's just easier nowadays for them to get an audience beyond their IRL social circle. The type of folks who put up "look at me" photos on social media were the kind who'd force you to sit through their slideshows back a couple decades ago. Blogging has replaced pontificating at cocktail parties, BBQ's, or the local bar. I agree. I see it via my "worldview" having been the old weekly newspaper in my rural town announcing the news. Marriages, births, deaths, or real news (if it actually occurred in my dinky town). Don't get me wrong... I am on FB and have a very small # (under 40) of friends and family I keep in touch with. I do love seeing photos and keeping updated as someone earlier mentioned. I guess FB and Instagram (social media) has replaced that and opened up what once was shared on a smaller community level... is now worldwide? That is the part that makes me uncomfortable. But for our younger generation, being able to share (despite the distance) to anyone is comfortable for them? And then a line is blurred with this medium being used for those (who back in our day) were the ones who would show off their kid's photos from a wallet, post an announcement in the town paper if the kid made the honor roll or won a local beauty pageant, or trap us with a dreaded slideshow of their trip to Hawaii. (???) I am enjoying the conversation, please continue... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted June 25, 2013 Author Share Posted June 25, 2013 I've never liked having my picture taken. :iagree: :iagree: :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beaners Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 I see it via my "worldview" having been the old weekly newspaper in my rural town announcing the news. Marriages, births, deaths, or real news (if it actually occurred in my dinky town). Don't get me wrong... I am on FB and have a very small # (under 40) of friends and family I keep in touch with. I do love seeing photos and keeping updated as someone earlier mentioned. I guess FB and Instagram (social media) has replaced that and opened up what once was shared on a smaller community level... is now worldwide? That is the part that makes me uncomfortable. But for our younger generation, being able to share (despite the distance) to anyone is comfortable for them? And then a line is blurred with this medium being used for those (who back in our day) were the ones who would show off their kid's photos from a wallet, post an announcement in the town paper if the kid made the honor roll or won a local beauty pageant, or trap us with a dreaded slideshow of their trip to Hawaii. (???) I am enjoying the conversation, please continue... Facebook is more like the woman behind the counter at the Post Office or working at the local diner letting you know that so-and-so was in town last week with her husband and kids, and did you hear that the Smith girls were going on vacation soon, and how's your family doing, honey? It is definitely a lot more public, but there have always been networks for sharing information. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 A narcissist isn't just someone who likes to have their picture taken and to talk about their life. They are someone who has no altruism or empathy and is totally self absorbed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 I agree with you Tex-Mex. But, I also find it interesting (and have noticed) that the most insecure are the ones who over post about their lives on FB or do tons and tons of those "ducky" self-poses (just learned that name this weekend). One is my own child, and I really do worry about her. Not so much that she's narcissistic, but that her insecurities are out there for the whole world to see and are being made worse by things like FB. It doesn't seem to me that starlets became LESS insecure the more they became popular. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 Well... Ok, I would post a few selcas/selfies of myself if I liked the way I looked. Inevitably, I think I look awful in pictures when I TRY to, so I just don't. However, me posting a few pictures isn't what you are talking about, I know... since for me, it would be once every few months, most likely, because I had gotten a new haircut/color, my makeup just managed to look awesome, my hair just managed to look awesome, something. And that doesn't happen often. :p :lol: I do, however, know people who post them ALL THE TIME. Like, seriously, you look the same as you did in the selca you just posted 5 minutes ago. This is the biggest trend I've noticed: The girls who post constant selcas of themselves are (*usually*) the ones with the lower self esteem. There are two teenagers I can think of who do so regularly, and looking at all the hashtags and such, they are drawing attention to their pictures for a reason. They like having people they know and/or random strangers telling them how pretty they look. Who doesn't, right? But sometimes it goes waaayyy overboard. However, most of them grow out of it. Yes, I have a 30 something year old friend who occasionally posts about 10 pictures of herself laying on the couch (???) but for the most part it seems to be a trend amongst younger teens who haven't really come into their comfort zone with themselves yet. Not that they stop using instagram or anything at that point - they still take tons of pictures - but they aren't all just pictures of themselves anymore. Anyway, all that to say that I don't think this stuff = narcissistic generation. I think they'll grow out of it (I'm already seeing that happen). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RemsMom Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 I think that social media worsens my introversion tendencies. I value my privacy so highly that I've never felt any desire whatsoever to participate in any form of social media beyond message boards where I can remain anonymous. The very thought of posting things under my real name, posting photos of myself, posting endlessly about my activities, etc., makes me want to crawl back in my cave and roll the boulder across the opening. :laugh: I wish I could like this post more than once. A while back I was at church and the pastor said, "Everyone likes to be the center of attention". I remember thinking that if I am ever the center of attention my first impulse is to run from the room and hide. Last Christmas I had cards printed with photos that I had taken of my family that year. I never sent them out. I just kept looking at them and wondering if people would think this was a bid for attention or that I was bragging. And with so many people posting every minute of their lives on Facebook, a card and recap of our year seemed stupid. I don't have a Facebook, I doubt I ever will. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted June 26, 2013 Author Share Posted June 26, 2013 I agree with you Tex-Mex. But, I also find it interesting (and have noticed) that the most insecure are the ones who over post about their lives on FB or do tons and tons of those "ducky" self-poses (just learned that name this weekend). One is my own child, and I really do worry about her. Not so much that she's narcissistic, but that her insecurities are out there for the whole world to see and are being made worse by things like FB. It doesn't seem to me that starlets became LESS insecure the more they became popular. Exactly. And forgive me for labeling this thread, "Narcissistic"... as Joanne and others have pointed out wisely that it is far from the truth. But I wholeheartedly agree with your comment. Those insecurities are suddenly out there for the world to see. And they do not go away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 My old Facebook password was based on an acronym for Facebook fosters narcissism. I don't think that everyone with narcissistic traits has NPD though and I don't think NPD is spreading on social media. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 Stop Duckface is one of my favorite blogs ever. Hilarious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted June 26, 2013 Author Share Posted June 26, 2013 Stop Duckface is one of my favorite blogs ever. Hilarious. :lol: :lol: :lol: BTW... saw this latest on Snooki doing a selfie. Not too crazy about her or her old show... but gotta give a new mom props for losing 50 pounds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 Stop Duckface is one of my favorite blogs ever. Hilarious. can you share the blog's addy? I can't seem to find it doing a search, less it's the FB one - and I don't have FB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 Every time I see these discussions on narcissism I get paranoid and mentally analyze myself and people I know to see if we're narcissistic (is that narcissistic of me? And narcissism/narcissistic is really difficult to type out). I have a couple hundred+ friends on facebook, 80% are people I've connected with on various parenting sites over the years. I do change my profile pic once a month or so. I LOVE posting pictures, and I love seeing pictures. Photography is my favorite hobby and I love pictures of all kinds. I posted lots of pictures of myself when I was pregnant, not sure I've ever posted a selfie though. Definitely never have posted a duck face. I have a few friends who are constantly posting pictures of themselves- as in, themselves alone, and I do find that a bit odd. I wonder if people think that about the pictures I post, even though my kids or my husband are almost always included in the pic? I share a lot of information, and that's one reason I weed through my friends list often and take out people I'm not comfortable knowing personal details that I share (things like struggling with breastfeeding, my kids acting up, etc). Sigh. I don't want to be narcissistic. I love facebook and I love getting comments and sharing things and seeing news and photos from people I care about, but online is the only social interaction I get. I'm sure if I was out running around, meeting with friends, doing those things that my introverted self cannot handle, I would have less time and be less inclined to care about online stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
albeto Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 Sigh. I don't want to be narcissistic.... The idea that people are outgoing in social media online somehow equals narcissism is so weird to me. Surely our grandparents thought that those things we grew up doing would be the end of Western Civilization as they knew it. And in a way it was. We no longer live in an openly, legally racially segregated society. We no longer turn and look away when a husband physically "corrects" his wife. We no longer shame a woman divorcing her husband or raising her children alone. All the arguments made her about social media being narcissistic could have been made for women opting to have a career 40 years ago: "She must be looking for approval to want to be included in a man's world. She must be self-absorbed for working her way up the corporate ladder. Only women who lack self-esteem take careers seriously, otherwise they would be happy staying at home and raising a family." Just because some people make this connection, I.Dup, doesn't mean it's an appropriate connection to make. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted June 26, 2013 Author Share Posted June 26, 2013 Every time I see these discussions on narcissism I get paranoid and mentally analyze myself and people I know to see if we're narcissistic (is that narcissistic of me? And narcissism/narcissistic is really difficult to type out). I have a couple hundred+ friends on facebook, 80% are people I've connected with on various parenting sites over the years. I do change my profile pic once a month or so. I LOVE posting pictures, and I love seeing pictures. Photography is my favorite hobby and I love pictures of all kinds. I posted lots of pictures of myself when I was pregnant, not sure I've ever posted a selfie though. Definitely never have posted a duck face. I have a few friends who are constantly posting pictures of themselves- as in, themselves alone, and I do find that a bit odd. I wonder if people think that about the pictures I post, even though my kids or my husband are almost always included in the pic? I share a lot of information, and that's one reason I weed through my friends list often and take out people I'm not comfortable knowing personal details that I share (things like struggling with breastfeeding, my kids acting up, etc). Sigh. I don't want to be narcissistic. I love facebook and I love getting comments and sharing things and seeing news and photos from people I care about, but online is the only social interaction I get. I'm sure if I was out running around, meeting with friends, doing those things that my introverted self cannot handle, I would have less time and be less inclined to care about online stuff. Heavens no... you sound very outgoing and sociable! Nothing wrong with sharing on FB the way you describe. I think more my OP was towards those who post self-portrait photo (i.e. Duck Face) or only talk about themselves. Celebrities do this too. I used the previous Snooki pic (a selfie) but gave her props for the weight loss, for example. You are social and outgoing. Snooki? PR or trying to extend her 15 minutes of fame. A teen or adult only posting about themselves and more? Narcissitic or neurotic? Heck, I think I'm neurotic for not wanting my photo on FB. :lol: I posted lots of pictures of myself when I was pregnant, not sure I've ever posted a selfie though. Definitely never have posted a duck face. :lol: Still trying to imagine why the Duck Face is so appealing... ??? The idea that people are outgoing in social media online somehow equals narcissism is so weird to me. Surely our grandparents thought that those things we grew up doing would be the end of Western Civilization as they knew it. And in a way it was. We no longer live in an openly, legally racially segregated society. We no longer turn and look away when a husband physically "corrects" his wife. We no longer shame a woman divorcing her husband or raising her children alone. All the arguments made her about social media being narcissistic could have been made for women opting to have a career 40 years ago: "She must be looking for approval to want to be included in a man's world. She must be self-absorbed for working her way up the corporate ladder. Only women who lack self-esteem take careers seriously, otherwise they would be happy staying at home and raising a family." Just because some people make this connection, I.Dup, doesn't mean it's an appropriate connection to make. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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