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I just found out my mother lives in a motel.


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You know, my bio mom who recently found me on facebook? She lives in a motel in Flint. 2 miles from the hospital my father is living in.

 

It all just makes me so sad.

 

I mean, she *lives* in a *motel*. In *Flint.*

 

That's two tiny steps up from homeless. You've got motel, homeless shelter, the streets.

 

Anyway, I don't really know why I'm sharing except it makes me sad.

 

In happier news, my dad was in good spirits at my visit with him today. He has plastic surgery scheduled for Monday to put a skin graft over his pressure ulcer. Still no idea how many more weeks he'll be living in the hospital. He SOOO wants to go home. He was talking to me about the fun things he wants to do with me and the boys this spring and summer.

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Your biomom is where she is because of her own choices. Feel sorry for her, pray for her, help her find whatever resources she may need if she asks, but DO NOT GIVE HER MONEY! Be gentle, but wise.

 

Um, Chucki already told me not to give her money.

 

:D

 

Seriously, I'm not going to. I realize she may very well still have an addiction problem, and there's no way I'm going to support that.

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Bethany, I hate to say this, but your bio mom is a walking, talking trainwreck.

 

I truly believe that the less you find out about her and her life, the better off you'll be.

 

Why are you torturing yourself by finding out more about her? You have enough to worry about with your wonderful father; don't waste your time, your energy, your grief, or your pity on your bio mom. Seriously. She's not worth it. She is where she is because she made, and is probably continuing to make, terrible life choices.

 

And I agree with Wendy -- it does make one wonder why she decided to contact you recently, out of the blue.

 

Run.

 

Just run.

 

The farther away from her, the better.

 

:grouphug:

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But, Bethany... a motel IS a step up from homelessness, and she isn't homeless. For a lot of unfortunate people a motel is a success, a victory over whatever put them into homelessness in the first place.

 

I'm not saying to continue involving yourself in her life -- in fact, I'd suggest not doing that -- but I think she deserves a little grace, not so much pity. She may have been much worse off previously. She could be much worse off right now -- but she isn't.

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Oh Bethany, I am so sorry. I know exactly what you mean about a motel in Flint. For those that have never encountered the non-shopping districts of the area such as Miller Rd., they may not understand the implications.

 

Bethany, I know this has to be horribly difficult for you, but just remember your first priority is your family - husband and children - second is your dad. You need to protect them from the upheaval that your bio-mom's life could cause. Cat is right, she's made decisions that have turned her life into a trainwreck and while you can extend grace and forgiveness from your heart, you still need to "RUN" and not let her life set consequences into motion for your family that you may not be able to overcome.

 

It's okay to do that. Protecting the innocent is always a good thing.

 

I'll keep praying for you sweetie.

 

I know you will appreciate this - Christ is Risen. Remember that. Place your hope and trust there and stay strong.

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: Faith

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