Casual (cheap) birthday celebration ideas for teen boy?

[Jenny in Florida]

I know we talk about this all the time, but now it's my turn. So, I'm bringing it up again.

 

My son turns 15 this Saturday. Over the years, we've ended up in this ridiculous situation in which each kid ends up with three separate elements to their birthday celebrations:

 

1. On the actual birthday, we go do something fun, more or less of the birthday kid's choice, with just the four of us.

2. The birthday gift is some kind of experience (tickets to a show, for example) that happens on a different day.

3. The birthday kid is allowed to plan a party or other celebratory experience with friends.

 

It's largely my husband's fault that we developed these traditions, even though he's the one who gets cranky every year when I remind him of them. And my daughter pretty much outgrew the party with friends thing by her 13th birthday. My son, however, is my extrovert, the one who just needs people and attention. So, he's hanging on to every bit of this for as long as possible.

 

I've explained to him -- repeatedly -- that 15 is not a "landmark" birthday, and he is not a little kid. Therefore, I do not feel the need to make the party an extravaganza this year. He is fine with that. He does, though, feel his life will not be complete unless he can have some kind of celebration with friends.

 

For his family day, the four of us are hitting WDW (with free admission because my husband works for The Mouse) and having a nice lunch in the restaurant of his choice.

 

He got his gift experience early, because the event I wanted to take him to (a cool dance performance) happened to fall this past Monday.

 

He is somewhat at a loss for party ideas, however. His first choice would be to take some friends to the awesome new retro-themed bowling alley at Downtown Disney ( http://www.splitsvillelanes.com/#/locations/disney/locations ). It's pricey, but would be easy. We might be talked into it. My concern is that pricing is by time, not by the game. So, for the money I'm willing to devote to this, the group would have no more than about 90 minutes to play. And that doesn't feel like enough time for a group of teens who enjoy each other's company to hang out. My son has suggested a variety of other activities in the same area that could be used to stretch the time, but all of them would cost money . . . lots of it.

 

I suggested doing the bowling and then just bringing everyone back to our house for snacks and board games or Wii or whatever. And my son is good with that. However, my husband feels he does not want to incur both the expense and hassle of taking the group to an off-site activity and the hassle and preparation of having a party-type event at the house. Also, I have put down my foot and said I will no longer be responsible for supervising "mock battles" in the backyard. I did it last year, felt I was guilted/tricked into allowing it and won't do it again. I've said the gang is welcome here, but only on the condition that there be no weapon play involved. (Yes, even at 15 and 16, we're still dealing with this.) My son says he can't promise none of his friends will ask/expect to battle, and my husband says he's not comfortable supervising without a second parent (me) as back-up.

 

I'm trying to think outside the box. I want this to be fun for my son and his friends. I don't want it to cost an arm and a leg. I don't want it to involve violence.

 

His top priority, really, is spending time with his friends. What they do is really secondary. This is a group, though, that is a litte jaded. Among them, they have two families with theme park connections, meaning all of them have been to WDW and associated sites more times than they can count. Another of the families is very well off and has had the group to their lovely, large home on a lake to swim and go joyriding in their boat and run all over their property. It's hard to come up with something fun and different.

 

Thoughts? Suggestions? What would you suggest or offer to your son under similar circumstances?

[Susan C.]

How many friends are there? It is fun to get a table at a casual restaurant for them and to supply 3-4 appetizers, or a pizza restaurant. My kids are older, and it works well. They feel more grown up going out, you don't have to host it, and there is a price cap. My dc usually didn't care much to have their own party, but went to parties like this. It is stated that if the kids want more, they buy. If you do it at a non meal time, less food is needed :D. We have Wild Wings here, and they have buy one get one free night, that works well, or similar deals.

 

Adding: miniture golf is fun too

[Lily_Grace]

My son's first choice this year was a Nerf war. A package of darts for each kid and let them go to town as late as they want, wearing glow sticks.

 

Well, it's freezing and there's no way they're going to hang out all night. He chose an experience instead. :) We've always done an experience/family day, so this year's no different.

 

However, here are some other ideas he tossed around...

 

-A murder mystery party

-A day at the ropes course

-movie projected on the house and a candy buffet

-a Minecraft party (seriously? Ugh!)

[Jenny in Florida]

How many friends are there? It is fun to get a table at a casual restaurant for them and to supply 3-4 appetizers, or a pizza restaurant. My kids are older, and it works well. They feel more grown up going out, you don't have to host it, and there is a price cap. My dc usually didn't care much to have their own party, but went to parties like this. It is stated that if the kids want more, they buy. If you do it at a non meal time, less food is needed :D. We have Wild Wings here, and they have buy one get one free night, that works well, or similar deals.

 

Adding: miniture golf is fun too

 

The usual crew is my son plus four, for a total of five teens. Food is always problematic for this group, though. Among them, we have:

 

- one vegan.

- one sometimes vegetarian who mostly eats bread and cheese.

- one who eats some chicken but no cheese.

- one with multiple, serious food allergies.

 

It's an interesting thought, though. Thanks!

[dbmamaz]

wow . . . i forget how simple our lives are . . my son is thrilled to have friends over to play video games . . . i guess i'm curious why you are so opposed to battles? I think thats what teens do. We have friends with boys 2 years younger than my son, same birthday, and they wanted to do a laser tag party together.

[J-rap]

Some things we did with our son when he was a teen:

 

Drop him and a few friends off on a bike trail that was about 10 miles long and ended at a lake. They rode their bikes to the lake, and we were waiting at the other end with their swimsuits and a picnic lunch.

 

My husband took him and a few friends camping in a park right at the edge of town. His sisters and I joined them for a camp dinner and birthday cake, and then they were on their own.

 

Another year my husband took him and a few friend kayaking down the river, which is right in town.

 

It helps that our son's birthday is in the summer. :)

[Jenny in Florida]

wow . . . i forget how simple our lives are . . my son is thrilled to have friends over to play video games . . . i guess i'm curious why you are so opposed to battles? I think thats what teens do. We have friends with boys 2 years younger than my son, same birthday, and they wanted to do a laser tag party together.

 

I'm a pacifist. I hate the violence. Even the pretend kind. I'm sick of seeing it and hearing about it. I've tried to be patient and wait for him to grow out of this phase, but it seems like the nicer and more giving I am, the more my values and concerns get stomped on or ignored. I'm done. I won't do it anymore.

 

As I said, I feel like I got tricked into allowing this last year, and I have made it clear I won't be put in that position again.

 

I told my son and husband that they were welcome to go ahead with mock battles as an activity. I said I would clean the house and buy and prepare the snacks and coordinate arrival and departure times with the other parents. I will do the dishes and clean up the mess afterward. The one thing I won't do is stay here while they beat up on each other. Once the guests have arrived, I will go to a movie or treat myself to a coffee in a nice, quiet bookstore cafe.

 

My husband says he is not comfortable being left alone to supervise.

 

I think teens are perfectly capable of enjoying doing lots of other things.

[unsinkable]

I vote for at home party. Your DH supervises while you leave.

 

I don't see why there needs to be more than one supervisor for 5 teens?

[dbmamaz]

yeah, hubby not willing to supervise teens . . . problem. i'm not very social and i hate violence, hubby is AWESOME at taking over when the kids get too intense for me, even tho the noise bothers him more than it bothers me. but honestly, my kids dont like battling that much. they do love laser tag, though

[zoobie]

What about giving DS a budget and letting him come up with some ideas?

[happypamama]

Any chance big sister would be willing/able to help DH supervise? Maybe if it was phrased as "doing this is a gift for your brother?"

[Catwoman]

I'm sure your ds's friends are good kids, and it's not like he wants to invite 25 of them over to the house, so I don't understand why your dh would have a problem supervising them.

 

Are you sure it's just a supervision issue and not a "you should do your half of the work for the party" kind of thing? (I know you'll already be doing most of the work, but your dh may not perceive it that way.)

[Jenny in Florida]

I think my husband's position on not supervising alone has two components. First, he is genuinely concerned about injuries and other problems when turning a bunch of teens loose to bash on each other with weapons, even padded, "play" ones. He's worried about someone getting hurt on his watch.

 

Also, though, there definitely is a certain element of him just not wanting to be left alone with a houseful of noisy teens.

 

He says he doesn't want me to feel like I'm being run out of my own home, but I don't think that's much of a factor.

[Jenny in Florida]

Any chance big sister would be willing/able to help DH supervise? Maybe if it was phrased as "doing this is a gift for your brother?"

 

Almost unimaginable. She has about as much patience with this stuff as I do.

[Halftime Hope]

Jenny, our most memorable b-day party was when dd turned 18. We did a Minute to Win It night. I was afraid it would be a bore, b/c all her friends were a couple of years older than her...read college sophomores! But I planned it anyway, and told them they were welcome to just hang and play board games or just hang out. They wanted to play the games. So, we started with 1) the obligatory cup-stacking, 2) moved on to Grab the Dough (I had gotten stretchy "sticky hands" from the dollar store and each team had a minute to pick up Monopoly money off the table by flinging their sticky hand at the pile as many times as they could, then counting it), 3) something with pantyhose that had enough of an ick factor that they were fascinated with it, 4) stacking 30 vhs tapes so they'd fall like dominos, the people with the longest run got more points, and 5) wrapping as many straws as possible to the *outside only* of a whiffle ball using a long piece of string that was tied to the ball--the hard part was that one person had to hold the ball and one straw at a time while the other person dropped the string (weighted with a nut on the end) through the ball. The person wiht the string couldn't touch the ball and the person with the ball couldn't touch the string. That ended up being a five minute game--the last one.

 

I had never heard of minute to win it, but it was a ball looking at the clips on YouTube then designing things for them that would be fun. I spent about 20 bucks at the dollar store for all the materials and recruited younger son to try all the games with me beforehand. That was essential, b/c things don't always work out the way you think they will. BTW, if you do the Monopoly money game, ask several friend if you can borrow their monopoly money. We had three sets of paper money for teams of about 8-10 people. Any less and it wouldn't have been fun.

 

hth

[Susan C.]

The usual crew is my son plus four, for a total of five teens. Food is always problematic for this group, though. Among them, we have:

 

- one vegan.

- one sometimes vegetarian who mostly eats bread and cheese.

- one who eats some chicken but no cheese.

- one with multiple, serious food allergies.

 

It's an interesting thought, though. Thanks!

 

Whoa! Tacos would handle all but maybe the allergic one. A bowl of black beans for the vegan to use, shell and cheese for #2, plain chicken taco for #3. #4 needs to eat before they come, lol.

 

Another idea: Would they want to go to a movie together?

[Jenny in Florida]

Whoa! Tacos would handle all but maybe the allergic one. A bowl of black beans for the vegan to use, shell and cheese for #2, plain chicken taco for #3. #4 needs to eat before they come, lol.

 

Another idea: Would they want to go to a movie together?

 

I did tacos when they were sleeping over here around Halloween.

 

I did customizable pizzas the time before that.

 

I forgot to mention that the one who refuses to eat cheese has recently been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

 

We're the vegans. So, I don't cook meat in my home.

 

We spent some time looking at movies this afternoon and didn't see anything open right now or opening soon. However, if we held off a few weeks, there might be an option or two. That just might be a really good thought! Thanks!

[Jenny in Florida]

Jenny, our most memorable b-day party was when dd turned 18. We did a Minute to Win It night. I was afraid it would be a bore, b/c all her friends were a couple of years older than her...read college sophomores! But I planned it anyway, and told them they were welcome to just hang and play board games or just hang out. They wanted to play the games. So, we started with 1) the obligatory cup-stacking, 2) moved on to Grab the Dough (I had gotten stretchy "sticky hands" from the dollar store and each team had a minute to pick up Monopoly money off the table by flinging their sticky hand at the pile as many times as they could, then counting it), 3) something with pantyhose that had enough of an ick factor that they were fascinated with it, 4) stacking 30 vhs tapes so they'd fall like dominos, the people with the longest run got more points, and 5) wrapping as many straws as possible to the *outside only* of a whiffle ball using a long piece of string that was tied to the ball--the hard part was that one person had to hold the ball and one straw at a time while the other person dropped the string (weighted with a nut on the end) through the ball. The person wiht the string couldn't touch the ball and the person with the ball couldn't touch the string. That ended up being a five minute game--the last one.

 

I had never heard of minute to win it, but it was a ball looking at the clips on YouTube then designing things for them that would be fun. I spent about 20 bucks at the dollar store for all the materials and recruited younger son to try all the games with me beforehand. That was essential, b/c things don't always work out the way you think they will. BTW, if you do the Monopoly money game, ask several friend if you can borrow their monopoly money. We had three sets of paper money for teams of about 8-10 people. Any less and it wouldn't have been fun.

 

hth

 

I've never heard of Minute to Win It, either. This sounds like fun, though!

[aggieamy]

Popcorn, movie, livingroom floor?

 

Camping in the backyard?

 

Games night? Check out the game threads for suggestions for board games teens would love.

 

Maybe I'm just a boring party planner.

[Jenny in Florida]

Popcorn, movie, livingroom floor?

 

Camping in the backyard?

 

Games night? Check out the game threads for suggestions for board games teens would love.

 

Maybe I'm just a boring party planner.

 

I've suggested most of these. None of them sound boring to me!

 

I think part of the problem is that they do most of those things together fairly regularly and/or we've done them as parties in the recent past.

[Halftime Hope]

I've never heard of Minute to Win It, either. This sounds like fun, though!

 

I didn't describe the sticky hand thing well enough. The ones the dollar store had then were those gel/squishy things, like the wall crawler bugs we used to have when we were kids. They were two hands on either end of about a four inch length of a "strap" made of the same sticky gel junk. I cut them in half, and everyone got one hand. while everyone on a team stood around the talbe, they held onto their end of the sticky strap and "flung" their sticky hand onto the table. It stretched like crazy, the hands thwacked onto the middle of the table and "picked up" a pile of cash as the hands stuck to the paper money, and then came boncing back to the owner. It was hysterical! The kids loved it. I'm pretty sure our dollar stored still has something quite like them, but I think they are just one larger hand now. I think it would work with almost anything that you could fling and still hold onto.

 

Hope that describes it better. But this one isn't really necessary. Therre are lots and lots of MTWI games you can do.

[TammyS]

How about a service project? You'll have to look around, but there must be an old lady who needs some yard work, or a park that needs a bench built, or something. Have them go do that, when they are done a mini-BBQ with hot dogs (whatever food floats your boat) and an easy homemade cake?

[aggieamy]

Ooh. Thought of another one. What about Geocaching or orienteering? It's outside and guy-ish.