To co-op or not to co-op... and other outside activities

[tabinfl]

I know the schedule question gets asked a lot, but please bear with me... I have three kindergarteners right now, so the two co-ops we go to (just a couple of classes at each) are great for messy arts & crafts, dance, lunchtime /playground socializing, and other things we don't get much of otherwise.

 

We've also got gymnastics lessons, Wednesday evening kids' program at church, and Sunday School every week, and 4-H, music lessons, and a tutor (a preschool teacher my kids clicked with, mostly to look over my shoulder until I gain a little more confidence in our progress) every other week. I try to set up some playdates with friends (both homeschooled and not) now and then as well.

 

Add in last-minute schedule changes, illnesses (kids', mine, teachers'), and other stuff, and I'm finding it difficult, as you might imagine, to set up any sort of routine. I was going to cut out one of the co-ops, but it turns out that our babysitter can take them to that one and give me a few free hours home ALONE. So far we're not very good at following to-the-minute schedules -- I've gone from a woman who could get to the office at 8am sharp (with a 90-minute train-and-subway commute) to a mom of 3 who can barely get breakfast cleaned up before lunch time!

 

So how do you do it? I keep hearing the jokes about "Why do they call it homeschooling if we're never at home?" and all of the outside activities homeschoolers are involved in, but just thinking about it is making me a little crazy. How do you get kids -- especially younger ones who benefit from routine -- into that routine when every day has a different schedule? When do older kids have time for school work when they're so busy with clubs, volunteering, social activities, and so on?

 

So please... share your week with me. Show me how you fit it all in, where (if?) you get "me" time, what helps you decide on outside activities, and how you give your kids some stability and routine in the midst of all the running here & there.

[Dmmetler]

I only have one and the outside activities are as much a benefit to me as to her, because they give her someone else to talk to and a way to release some of that excess energy and enthusiasm.

 

It is also possible to get on a weekly routine, not a daily one. That is, if every single Tuesday is co-op, that's a routine, and you make it part of your week, rather than an exception to it. At 4 and 5, almost everything is educational and is forward progress, even if it isn't finishing the next lesson in a given book. It's taken me 3 years to realize that the "frills" were, in themselves, a big part of DD's education, not an impediment to it.

[North Coast School]

We love our co-op and simply couldn't homeschool without it. There are sure days that the co-op takes up time that we really don't seem to have, but we all seem to benefit from the friends, action, and messy art!

 

Can you try doing afternoon class instead of morning? OUr co-op has morning and afternoon sessions twice a week.

 

Also, if you have a sitter to take the kids, Oh My! I would jump at the chance to have a couple hours to myself.

[Ellie]

My rule of thumb: No outside activities (with other people) before 3 in the afternoon. The only exception would be for a *monthly* park day that was on Friday, or a field trip that happened to coincide with my own field trip day (Thursday). That's it.

 

For us, that meant no homeschool sports, dance, scouts, 4-H, etc. We did those either as independents (Camp Fire) or with already-existing community groups, which meet after school.

 

I *might* consider a class that met on Fridays...but not every Friday. I want park day. And I want to be able to be home to clean house/do laundry on Friday, because that's my cleaning day. So the class would have to be one where I could drop off the dc, and it would need to be close enough--within, oh, 10 minutes--of my house, so I wouldn't lose the drive time. I'm picky that way. :-)

[FriedClams]

When my kids were younger we did the 'not before 3' rule except for Wednesday. On Wednesday we'd do the library and bible study, otherwise we would get nothing done. Yes, school that age takes 2 hours (more if you have to sit and listen to each kid read), but you have to do it. Consistency is key then, (IMHO). A little every day makes a huge difference.

 

Now my kids are older we do a lot of outside activities - after 3. LOL. Piano is at 1:30 one day but to me that is a subject. My kids are also in a choir that meets at 2 - but it's so annoying to me in its intrusion in our schedule that we won't do it again. I like treating homeschooling like a job - it gets more done and I take it more seriously.

[Farrar]

I find that this board in general leans anti-co-op and anti-activities. Most of the homeschool friends i have IRL tend to be as busy as us if not much busier.

 

We do a co-op, a Destination Imagination team (for 4 mos of the year), a Shakespeare production (2 mos of the year), ballet (2x a week), piano lessons (1 x a week) two science classes (one is off and on), soccer (two seasons), plus various other activities - like group field trips, art sessions at the museum that are free, and things like that.

 

When my kids were younger, we did more, but we've dialed it back. But we got a lot out of it. When you say they don't get much more out of co-op than playing and making messes with art, they're kindergarteners! That's some great learning. It doesn't mean you have to keep the co-op, I'm just saying that there's a big value in really building these relationships and maintaining them for the sake of the kids.

 

It has to be a balance. Lately, I've been feeling that mine is off and I'd like us to be home more, but really it's not that so much as I'd like to be teaching outside less - I teach all or part of a large portion of the activities we do. Next year I'm planning to drop two of them and another thing that I teach on the side for younger kids.

[mom2att]

Well I'm certainly pro-co-op since I run one, but for three k'ers TWO co-ops plus the activities below is an awful lot.

 

We've also got gymnastics lessons, Wednesday evening kids' program at church, and Sunday School every week, and 4-H, music lessons, and a tutor (a preschool teacher my kids clicked with, mostly to look over my shoulder until I gain a little more confidence in our progress) every other week.

 

And if you think you are busy now, wait until they are in the middle childhood to teen years! Now is the time to enjoy freedom of park days and play dates. It looks from your blog that the kids are doing neat stuff in 4H, which to me makes not one but two co-ops redundant. Actually the above list could be doable, since the church stuff is evening/weekend, but add two co-ops in and I am beyond exausted. If it were me I'd stop trying to fit it all in--between 4H and the two co-ops, choose which works best and is most valuable and keep that one. Drop the rest--you can always add more later if you find you have time for it.

[Parrothead]

I think maybe you are spending to much time on the road. Says the mom with her dd in 4 dance classes, drama, guitar, and private girls' club. None of those outside activities are before 3 PM .

 

Get your house in order (schedule, seat work, chores) then pursue outside activities.

[Gentlemommy]

Right now, we do-

Mornings-

Tuesday's-Coop at park. Unstructured, just play time. 10-1

Fridays-play date with another hs family at the park 10-1

Sundays-Sunday school

 

Afternoons-

Wednesday-dd7 riding lesson at 3:30. Usually we are there by 3, and stay until 5:30 or so, kids like to play and feed the horses Thursday-dd4 has gymnastics at 5:30

Sunday-dd7 has riding lesson at 3:30, again, we are there for a couple hours.

 

We do school six days a week, and only for 1-1.5 hours of seat work, basically math and LA. Everything else is done in the car (SOTW audio, timeline song, memory work) or cuddled on the couch whenever we can (reading, bible, poetry, history). Next year, we will be adding Classical Conversations on Monday mornings. It's 9-12, and then we have lunch with the everyone and the kids play until 1.

 

 

[Alte Veste Academy]

You are asking about stability and routine, but I think the real concern is balance. You can have a frantic, fast-paced routine; it is still a routine. (Yes, you will be at the mercy of illnesses and scheduling conflicts. That is just the way the cookie crumbles.) You can also have a never-leave-the-house routine that is so stable it leaves everyone in the doldrums constantly. I strive for balance, and I didn't do nearly so much when my kids were as young as yours. In your shoes, I would drop 4H, the tutor, and one co-op. As part of school, I would keep gymnastics, music lessons, and the co-op that the sitter can take the kids to (and I would only keep it for that reason! :lol:). As part of family life, I would keep up church activities.

[tabinfl]

This is some great feedback, thank you all!

 

Thinking out loud here... and thank you all for indulging me in that, some days I'm a little :blink: with the few local friends who even get this stuff...

 

I am striving for balance, and while there are a couple of places where we're duplicating effort (a co-op class I didn't realize would be mostly arts & crafts along with the arts & crafts class itself; music in the church program as well as privately -- but even those have a different focus, e.g. church choir vs. teaching my kids music fundamentals), most of the things we do are really different from each other. The 4-H club, for example, is exclusively horse-focused as a lead-up to riding lessons and possibly owning (a horse or two, not a riding stable :D). All of this is only another few months for this school year anyway, so I get a fresh start come summer.

 

I do like the nothing before 3PM rule... with an exception here & there, that could make my days at least seem less chaotic, knowing that I have wake-up until 3:00 to get lessons or whatever done AND my husband's help with more of the outside activities (he can often leave the office between 3 & 4). I'm thinking I could even push more into private or small-group (with another family or two?) lessons that fit our schedule better, and find our socializing in more convenient places than the co-ops.

[mschickie]

Co-op is scheduled in as part of our routine. I plan my year out so that school is 4 days a week plus co-op. Mon-Thurs we do our regular school and then on Friday we do co-op (2 ten week sessions a year). We also do a variety of field trips during the month but I try to limit it to only 1 a week. During the week dd also does American Heritage Girls on Monday (every other week), Swimming, Trombone Lessons and Soccer but those are all late afternoon or evening activities. The only way I would do something else every week was if it filled a needed requirement. Right now my Friday Co-op fills those needs so I am all set.

[KarenNC]

My husband gave me some very good advice when my daughter was in K---"She doesn't have to have every educational experience before she's 6." :) I was driving myself insane with running all over the area after every educational/social opportunity I could (particularly because I was feeling a bit guilty about homeschooling a very social only---got over that one ;) ). Heaven forbid I miss some opportunity and limit my child! In addition, I suffered from "commitment creep." I would have a reasonable schedule set up then a "great opportunity" would come along and, well, we weren't doing anything that particular hour, so sure, I could fit it in. This is really the first year I actually have whole days where we don't have to go somewhere---it's amazing how much more relaxing it is, as well as letting me not stress over academics.

 

At the age of your kids, I would honestly prioritize freeplay time----park days, etc---over structured classes. I realize it may be hard to drop things at this point if you have made commitments, but I would strongly suggest purposely underscheduling for next year to allow time for the things that crop up---play dates, field trips, etc. For instance, the 4H club sounds fun, but if riding lessons aren't going to happen for a few more years (not sure when one starts, but thinking maybe 8?), perhaps that is not as much of a priority right now as, say, music lessons. One can usually pick stuff like this back up at a later date. It will depend on your priorities. I know a lot of folks we know don't really understand why we drive 40 min one way twice a week to participate in aikido when there are tons of other martial arts schools very close to our house, but aikido at that particular school is a very high priority for us, in part because it's something she and my husband do together, so we arrange a lot of other things around it.

 

The after-3 rule may be hard to keep to for homeschool activities, as well as for allowing your kids to have some downtime with dad and get to bed at a reasonable hour. Most homeschool things seem to be set before the public school kids get out. Once we hit middle school and the academics ramped up further, I've tried to keep to a "nothing out of the house until after noon" guideline as much as possible, but also plan as little as possible during the evening and on weekends to preserve family time. I also have become much more selective regarding our commitments. Right now, we have two outside classes (writing and art during the day), a half day park day weekly (weather permitting), the occasional field trip, twice monthly Girl Scouts during the day, and one weeknight evening committed, as well as weekend morning commitments. These evening/weekend ones still involve either the entire family (Sunday church) or my daughter and husband together (aikido 2-3 times a week). We do run year-round with academics to give ourselves a little more leeway. I've also started focusing more on whether a particular activity was actually in line with our priorities as well as being a good/fun opportunity. There are *so* many great activities that it's hard to limit them.

[ItoLina]

My have a 5yo ds and an almost 3yo dd. As far as outside activities we do:

Tuesday: homeschool kickball team and park play day for both, and Tball practice in the afternoon for ds

Wednesday: mommy and me gymnastics for dd

Thursday: Meet casually with a group of homeschool friends for art, science experiments, cooking, and play time, and Gymnastics for ds

Friday: Tball practice for ds

Satuday: Tball games (2 each Saturday)

 

We also do both soccer seasons which prett much start right when tball ends and end when tball begins.

[Snickerdoodle]

I've gone from a woman who could get to the office at 8am sharp (with a 90-minute train-and-subway commute) to a mom of 3 who can barely get breakfast cleaned up before lunch time!

:lol:

 

I was just thinking the other day along similar lines. :grouphug: