Dmmetler Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 We've been involved with a co-op for years that was divided K/1, 2st-5th grade, and then 6th-up. Each week, a parent facilitates learning about a country/culture with foods, mapwork, folk tales/music, etc. DD didn't like being in K/1 at 5, but once she moved up to the 2nd-5th grade, she's enjoyed it. Not that she's necessarily learned anything (and has griped about it), but it's been a nice social outlet for her. We debated whether to do it again this Spring or not, and she decided she did, which I like because it's nice to have that one morning a week with other HS moms, and those couple of hours make a difference for me. Well, we have too many kids, so they've decided to regroup. K-3, 4-6, and 7th-up. Which, age/grade wise, puts DD with K-3. And most of the kids are more K/1st grade age than 3rd grade, so I'm guessing that if she was already frustrated at the level of the activities in a 1st-5th class, she's REALLY going to be annoyed this semester. She has about an equal number of kids that she likes in both groups, but more of the kids she shares interests with (the kids who are in our NME study group, for example) are in the older one. So, do I push for an exemption, knowing that doing so tends not to be well-received, because, after all, EVERYONE has smart kids (after all, we're homeschoolers, don't you know...), leave DD where she is and risk that she's miserable, or just plain drop out entirely, giving up MY social outlet? Sigh... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 I think under those circumstances I would at least try for the exception. I would probably explain to the organizers that the children your dd is closest to will be in the older group, and since you participate largely for the social experience it only makes sense if she is with the group she enjoys and you're not interested in participating if they insist on putting her in the lower group. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunshineMom Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 Get her in the 4-6th grade class, it doesn't make sense otherwise. We were involved in a co-op years ago and I placed my dd two grades up because the assigned group were learning to read, so it would have been a total waste of time. Nobody had any problems with it and I even helped with the "assigned" class. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FairProspects Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 I would try for the exception. At our co-op they are honored if the child is within one year of the target age group, and she is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 I would try for the exception and otherwise be prepared to give it up. If it was my child, it would not be worth it to her have in the younger group, not learning, being unhappy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathwonk Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 it is worth trying, i'm not sure how much information to use in the fight. my information says that base don iq scores, kids with 125 iq learn about 2 years ahead of average kids, and 150iq kids learn roughly at the pace of kids twice their age, up through the first few grades i believe. so placement should be done accordingly. of course politically you cannot just say well my kid has such and such iq, and make many friends, but maybe the case can be made somehow more subtly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted December 16, 2012 Author Share Posted December 16, 2012 I asked for more information on the activities, and some of the things that are listed are ones that are likely to be hard for DD (taking apart a watch, for example) because her motor skills ARE age appropriate, if not a little below, and I have a feeling that her frustration is likely to be seen as a sign of immaturity and lack of readiness. But at the same time, she doesn't need a couple of hours of cutting and gluing, either. I'm thinking we may end up sitting this one out. I really don't like the idea, but I'm not sure she's going to fit-which is frustrating, at best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 Is there any chance you could create something of your own privately? Just start a new meeting with selected people? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted December 16, 2012 Author Share Posted December 16, 2012 I'm already doing NME and ELE groups at my house, which have been great for DD, and truthfully, I suspect that she'd be thrilled if I told her that instead of Co-op, she can do the Athena's SOTW II class (she really wanted to do SOTW I with them last year, but it was at the same time as Co-op-she LOVES the level of discussion she gets in the Athena's classes). It's more that I hate the idea of cutting MYSELF off more socially-because I don't get to talk to other adults when I'm the one leading the class every single time, which is the case for mythology and Latin. For Co-op, I've been able to get by with teaching music as needed, and otherwise get to drink coffee and relax with other parents for the rest of the morning-and I'm going to miss that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 You probably aren't the only one feeling like that in your area. Is it worth the effort to form some sort of group just for that? You might have some new cool friends in your future. I talk big, ya. Lol. But if I was in an area I thought it was remotely possible, I'd try. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted December 16, 2012 Author Share Posted December 16, 2012 Sigh...now I'm getting the socialization argument. There's no good way to answer that without insulting people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greenmama2 Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 Sorry to hear that. It wouldn't be worth the fight for us. As you say - age appropriate fine motor frustrations would be seen as proof of being academically in the wrong place. If it's social hs support for you that you need can you change the structure of the groups you host so that you get to relax a little? Or is there a park meet you could attend instead of co-op? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 Can you argue based on the fact that her "best" co op friends are going to be put in the older group? With a since she is able to keep up. My church did this to ds. Leaving him with a class of girls??? His 6 month older friend was put in the older group. Academically ds was way ahead of friend. Socially too -- ds could sit still. Hurt ds feelings hugely. We didn't participate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted December 16, 2012 Author Share Posted December 16, 2012 I don't know that it's worth it. I just wish I didn't feel like I was going to lose my adult contacts and social outlet if we end up dropping out OR if I push too hard for DD's needs. As it stands, I feel guilty because I want DD to do it, but for reasons that don't benefit her at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 Do the older kids accept her as peers? If they do, then I would push for it. If not, I would back off. Are the grade levels strictly age based? If not, I wouldn't even ask. I would just say DD has worked hard and has skipped a couple grades and therefore, is in 4th or 5th grade. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted December 16, 2012 Author Share Posted December 16, 2012 The thing is...I'm not sure. In Mythology club, sure, those kids all really do well together, and DD fits right in. However, when you put a group of 10-12 yr old girls together in a larger group, I'm not sure that you wouldn't see cliques and exclusion. And that's not good either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted December 16, 2012 Author Share Posted December 16, 2012 Right now DD is saying she's OK with the younger group, because of one other kid who's in it (who I think would also probably be better off in the higher age group-she's in my Mythology class, and, except for reading (she's 2e) has no trouble doing just fine with the older kids). I figure I'll sign up to teach the first month so that if she ends up being miserable, we can drop out with a clear conscience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 Sounds like a plan dm. Good luck with it. PS, I'm wondering...do I remember right that you guys were involved in the exams for Mythology? I might very easily have my memory mixed up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted December 16, 2012 Author Share Posted December 16, 2012 Yes-DD (and the group I'm leading) will take the exam for the first time this year. We'll see how it goes then. Regardless, they're having a great time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reya Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 This is why we don't do co-ops. We do non-academic group things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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