Sherri in MI Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 We have no money. Literally. I have no gas in my tank & dh can't give me any money for gas. He has a part time job. That's it. My son turns 14 tomorrow. Usually on his BD day I make him a special dinner & we'll have a cake & give him a gift. (Last year no gift). Then the following weekend we throw a friend party for him with 6 or more kids either at home or we'll take them out. Years ago we did Chuck Cheese or bowling parties, but the last 4 years dh has been unemployed/underemployed. Tomorrow ds has youth group, so I'm making him a special breakfast & lunch. No gift. He really looks forward to his friend parties, especially since he is any only child. Well now that he's getting older, I feel like a home party will be a real drag for the kids, esp. since we live in a tiny apartment & it's cold outside! Our home is okay to have snacks in & open gifts, but there's no room for any games or activities. Last year we had unseasonably warm weather so we had a photo scavenger hunt outside & played "Mafia" and "Bop it" inside. But the boys are so much bigger now, just in this last year! Also, my carpet is disgusting & I can't afford to have it cleaned. I mean it's really gross. Our sofa is literally falling apart & stinks. Can't afford a new one or to get it cleaned/reuphostered. I know the boys won't care, but the parents will. Ds is so sweet & insists we can have the party at home & they can just play Airsoft outside, no matter how cold it is. (Even though we are in an apartment we have a yard & woods behind our building). But it's been in the low 40s, if we're lucky. Obviously I don't have the party planned yet at all, so it's not going to be this weekend. I have money for food, but no money for a gift for him, paper goods, balloons, or prizes. Am I just being a party pooper? Any ideas? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sheryl Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 Oh, Sherry, I read your post and my heart goes out to you. My friend has a very small apt and had her dd's b'day party at another friend's house. Do you have such a friend? Could you call your church and ask for a loan? Parents/relatives for a loan? Forgive me if this sounds terrible (I'd do this) - could you pawn something? Can you quick sell something or trade? Blessings to you and I'll say a prayer now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 :grouphug: Serve cake only and get him a small gift. (Eat beans and rice for several meals if you need to.) Have friends over for airsoft (they don't care about the weather--it's energizing to teen boys), cake, and presents. Do you have paper? You can make big paper letters and color them in and decorate with those (a sign, essentially). Do you have an old sheet? Decorate that with markers and have everyone sign it and use it as a party tablecloth. Don't worry about giving gift bags--no one does for teen parties. Put a throw or bedspread over your couch. Buy a bottle of cleaner from the store and clean the rug yourself--even just a little will help. Boys won't care, and their parents won't be coming, just dropping off. Neaten and straighten, vacuum and greet everyone with a big smile. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jpoy85 Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 well turn it into something fun but cheap. If he wants Airsoft, turn it into an Airsoft themed party! You can make a cake and decorate it with green and brown frosting for the camo. You can skip balloons and prizes, at 14 i wouldnt think they want those types of things. For the carpet- laundry detergent or dish soap and a scrub brush would work and a rug to hide really bad spots or move furniture too. For the couch, a flat sheet can hide the issues and febreeze or water + fabric softener to make your own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 14 year old boys don't care about carpet or furniture, don't worry about their parents. Schedule the airsoft, skip fancy decorations, and just provide snacks. As for a gift, have you and dh write down 14 ways you think he is special and give it to him when he can read on his own. I would also try a quick trip through a thrift store. The year ds turned 14 we were beyond broke. I wasn't worried about gifts as my parents were doing a lot for him. We stopped at a few garage sales and found a Darth Vader helmet (he's a Star Wars freak) for .25. I was stoked. Don't make a huge deal out of what you can't do. Make the most of what you do have, even if it's just a little. My son is also an only and I think at 14 he simply wanted to know he was loved and have those special people around for his day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pippen Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 Ask around if friends or neighbors have a steam cleaner to do the rugs--the boys won't care but you'll feel better about it. Throw a quilt or sheet over the sofa for the same reason. Invite the friends and serve cake and snacks. 14 yo boys don't need prizes. They just want to hang out together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebacabunch Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 I can't imagine14 year old boys wanting party decorations. At all. I would provide snacks and let them play video games or outdoor play. I just went to a halloween party and all the boys between 14 and 16 sat around eating snacks and playing video games. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msjones Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 :grouphug: Serve cake only and get him a small gift. (Eat beans and rice for several meals if you need to.) Have friends over for airsoft (they don't care about the weather--it's energizing to teen boys), cake, and presents. Do you have paper? You can make big paper letters and color them in and decorate with those (a sign, essentially). Do you have an old sheet? Decorate that with markers and have everyone sign it and use it as a party tablecloth. Don't worry about giving gift bags--no one does for teen parties. Put a throw or bedspread over your couch. Buy a bottle of cleaner from the store and clean the rug yourself--even just a little will help. Boys won't care, and their parents won't be coming, just dropping off. Neaten and straighten, vacuum and greet everyone with a big smile. :grouphug: :iagree: This sounds perfect! Boys won't notice the old furniture and rug. They'll love their airsoft battle outside, cold or not, and your son will be glad to have any kind of party. As far as food, homemade popcorn is so cheap and kids love it -- it's a treat if they're used to microwave stuff. Or, nachos with just cheese and salsa are always a huge hit with groups of boys over here. In lieu of a gift (or in addition to a small gift), you could write your son a letter. We try to do that each year for our boys, writing about what we love about them, what kind of growth we've noticed in the past year, some good memories from the past year, etc. They really like those letters. Good luck! I bet it will turn out great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 Could you hold his party at your church? In the youth room or the church basement? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 Can you send cupcakes to the youth group? :grouphug:Do what you can, I'd go with his Airsoft party and not worry about decorations etc., the carpets or sofa. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 Go for free and keep them active. Would they be up for a mystery hike? Even if it's cold they'll have a great time if they're moving. Make a map for them to follow (with an adult hiker, of course). Maybe the first stop has lunch for them. The second stop is an air soft tournament of sorts. 3rd stop is s'mores; the first to make a fire and toast a marshmallow wins. Last stop is pizza and a movie in your warm living room. Boys that age do not care about dirt, furniture, and smells. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speedmom4 Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 I think the party sounds great for 14 year-old boys. They will all be entertained by airsoft battles and food. What more could a boy want? Don't worry about the stuff that doesn't matter. You sound like a wonderful momma! Elise in NC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinL in Canada Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 Sherri, I don't know you and I rarely come to the General Board, but your story makes my heart ache. I also have a 13 yr old son, and I am grateful that although he asks for so little, I can at least accommodate that for him. Would you PM me? I'd like to offer you something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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