How do you know your child has ADHD or ADD?

[Miss Cornelia Snook]

What are some signs? I've had a few friends mention they thought my four year-old daughter has it, or is developing it, based on the tales I tell of her adventures. She is SUCH a difficult child! Very bright, very strong, very stubborn, very independent. Little desire to obey, very impulsive. She's had stitches for lacerations four times already, nearly killed herself running in front of an oncoming truck when she was two (I was hoarse for days afterward, from screaming her name repeatedly as she ran away from me...laughing!). However, she knows how to behave herself in church, or at preschool...situations where I am not present. Her teachers gush to me, "She's so sweet!" and I wonder if we're talking about the same child.

 

Sometimes I think she's just leading me a merry dance. She is in preschool 12 hours a week now, and it is such a relief when she is gone. I can only relax when she is asleep. She has to be constantly supervised, or else she gets into trouble. I'm completely worn out.

 

I am pretty certain DH has ADD, and MDS, too. No diagnoses, but MDS is undergoing evaluations at the local elementary school right now and I hope they give me some indication.

 

Your thoughts?

[Crimson Wife]

DS has ADHD-Combined and he literally cannot sit still without fidgeting, squirming, kicking his legs, etc. He knows how to behave in church and so on but he's still fidgeting. He is constantly on the go (if I could bottle even 1/10th of his energy, I'd be a millionaire). He is bright but constantly makes careless mistakes in his schoolwork because he's not paying enough attention- like adding instead of subtracting on his math assignment. He interrupts, blurts out things without thinking, and has difficulty waiting his turn.

 

Right now we're not medicating because I can work around the ADHD in our homeschool. However, I know that if he ever has to go into a traditional classroom, I'll almost certainly have to put him on medication.

[sbgrace]

My son is constantly moving--his mouth and his body--from the moment he wakes until he goes to sleep. Sleep is a problem. He tells me he can't stop his brain to fall asleep (melatonin helps most of the time). He's very impulsive. Even when he truly intends to control himself in situations he just simply can't be still/quiet/etc. it seems. He doesn't think through results or consequences before acting either. I imagine all that is the hyperactivity component.

 

He's extremely inattentive too. He can't remember what he's doing long enough to follow through with the action half the time. He truly stops right in the middle of a sentence and gets lost. Today, for example, he began adding in the middle of his subtraction. This sort of thing is very typical. He understands what he's doing but is incorrect because he just loses attention and makes silly mistakes. Another example--he began a (simple) dictation sentence and in the middle of writing it got distracted by his own thoughts about the subject and then was completely lost. It's about impossible to keep him engaged in math longer than 3 problems. I think this part is the inattentive.

 

I want to say my son has no problems paying attention to what engages him/his imagination/his interests. It's the things uninteresting to him that cause the issue. He does have issues with follow through even on things he enjoys and wants to do. He will be so excited as he starts to write a story and then never finish it.

 

I believe there are types of ADD--ADHD, Combined, Inattentive types? So it would look different I imagine for the different types. My sister was an inattentive, if it's still called that. She had no hyperactivity. But she was miles away in terms of attention.

Edited September 25, 2012 by sbgrace

[LittleIzumi]

When she was STILL running into traffic at age six. :glare:

[ondreeuh]

My ds sounds just like your dd, except that he is even more impulsive and hyper when he is with other children and/or in a preschool setting. Last year I had to stay with him in preschool (where there were only 2-4 other kids) and he was kicked out of a day camp this summer after 2 days. He does ok at home because I can manage his environment to limit his frustrations. He is now ok in a store when he feels like he has a job to do. He is awful at the park and I can guarantee that he will fight with other kids. What's really hard is when other adults clearly are irritated by him and don't like him. This includes some adult family members.

 

My older son is unquestioningly dx with ADHD (had MRI, EEG, genetic testing, allergy testing, multiple visits with developmental pediatrician and neurologist) and my younger son is even more challenging. I am bringing it up to our new ped this month.

 

Here are some of the traits he has:

-really low frustration tolerance

-need to be in constant motion

-commanding attention by dancing and singing if I'm lucky; saying rude things and being rough if I'm not. But always performing as if in front of an audience.

-no sense of "personal space" (climbs on everyone & grabs/hugs everyone)

-unable to tone down behavior for younger/smaller people (knocks them over, pushes them away)

-unable to moderate volume (no concept of inside voice)

-overreactive to minor stuff

-says he has a "bad brain" that makes him do bad things

-wants to make good choices and is frequently mad at himself for behaving badly

-very sensitive to over-correction

-can be stuck in a giddy/silly mode, avoiding eye contact and being noncompliant

-generally viewed as undisciplined and manipulative by people who don't understand

[SonshineLearner]

Hmmmm.... I'd say go to someone who is specialized in the ADHD area. Ask parents/teachers in your area. Here, I found someone who has a great reputation. We're on meds, and it's wonderful. As our Dr said, "It allows the wonderful person you know is in there... to shine." I've always been happy with him, but exhausted. When I finally admitted that he might need meds, it was sad... BUT, it's so much more fair to him!! He has total ability to obey, look like he's paying attention... etc. :)

[TravelingChris]

We had to put our middle on medication a little while before she was three because of the dangers she put herself in. We never had complaints about her in Sunday School or Children's Church. She was a bright, inquisitive child and it didn't make much difference in Sunday School whether she was too fidgety. So yes, we got great reports about her. On the other hand, she was the one who I had to keep taking to the emergency room or calling poison control.

 

As Little Izumi said, she was doing things that needed me to call poison control even at age 9- ate some berries at our new home. OH, and she was medicated at that time but not as well as she was once she was 15.

[shanvan]

Since you are talking about your Dd, do some research about girls and ADD/ADHD. It can look significantly different in girls. I am convinced my Dd would be considered ADD at least, if not ADHD. I've done a lot of reading and she meets the criteria. She exhibits many of the behaviors mentioned by previous posters.

 

She's much better now (mostly) but was always getting into dangerous situations when she was younger. I remember one very bad weekend (Dd was 5) where I had to call the on call pediatrician twice in one day. One call involved a cut from a knife that Dd tried to laugh off (as blood dripped all over the kitchen floor), the other was b/c she messed with an electrical box outside and got a shock. I was sure CPS was going to be at my door later that week.

 

I decided, after doing the research, not to have her officially diagnosed. Sometimes I rethink it, but mostly I don't want a tag following her around and people making assumptions about her and what she is capable of. Like another poster, we don't medicate, and I work around it in our schooling. She still needs coaching at times during 4H meetings or in outside classes. Sometimes she needs to be reminded to tone down behaviors, other times in a class setting, she needs help communicating to the teacher what type of problem she has had. She has needed a very gradual introduction to classroom environments. Her first class setting was at our local library. When the teacher called on her and she experienced the frustration of not being able to focus her thoughts, she cried. Fortunately Ds was also in the class. If the teacher hadn't been sympathetic, I would have pulled her out, but I decided it was a good opportunity to help her through they problems she was experiencing. She made a lot of progress during that class learning how to manage even when her mind just isn't cooperating.

 

Don't despair. Kids with ADD/ADHD can become vibrant and amazing people. My Dd has had to work harder for everything than Ds. As a result, when she takes on something she is prepared to work, unlike Ds to whom schoolish things have always come easy. Dd still gets distracted, but if she can clearly see the goal, she eventually gets back to work with a little reminding. And she's making progress at learning to remind herself.

 

In the past year, she has learned to channel her, shall we say, 'outgoing' tendencies so that they are now an asset (mostly). She has trained her own puppy and begun to show him in 4H and at AKC shows. Dog training has helped her to learn to focus, though Dh and I have been highly involved and coach her and she does still lose focus at times. But, overall, her zany attention seeking behaviors have helped her tremendously at dog shows. When she enters the ring with her dog, everyone watches her b/c she just has an attitude that commands attention. So, kids with ADD can become vibrant, outgoing and productive people.

 

We still have our issues related to the behaviors mentioned in other posts. I think the single most disruptive behavior we have at home is the incredibly goofy attention seeking, side tracking behaviors that I have trouble not laughing at b/c they are so over the top. It's hard to keep going with school if you can't stop laughing (and I hate having to try to keep a straight face). It is a strange feeling to be laughing at someone and yet also feel extremely annoyed and not able to stop laughing. :glare:

 

Hmmm....now I'm thinking maybe the losing focus and doing something completely different than asked is worse. Dd is the one I have to keep tabs on, or I find she has taken a bunch of craft stuff out and is working on some crazy project rather than putting away her clothes or doing her reading. Either that, or I find her in the back yard running around with her dog....sigh...I think I better go check on her now......

 

[tabrizia]

My older son is unquestioningly dx with ADHD (had MRI, EEG, genetic testing, allergy testing, multiple visits with developmental pediatrician and neurologist) and my younger son is even more challenging. I am bringing it up to our new ped this month.

 

Here are some of the traits he has:

-really low frustration tolerance

-need to be in constant motion

-commanding attention by dancing and singing if I'm lucky; saying rude things and being rough if I'm not. But always performing as if in front of an audience.

-no sense of "personal space" (climbs on everyone & grabs/hugs everyone)

-unable to tone down behavior for younger/smaller people (knocks them over, pushes them away)

-unable to moderate volume (no concept of inside voice)

-overreactive to minor stuff

-says he has a "bad brain" that makes him do bad things

-wants to make good choices and is frequently mad at himself for behaving badly

-very sensitive to over-correction

-can be stuck in a giddy/silly mode, avoiding eye contact and being noncompliant

-generally viewed as undisciplined and manipulative by people who don't understand

 

:iagree: This is my son since his TBI. In his last report from the neuropsych she stated she wasn't diagnosing him as ADHD yet, but he had many behaviors similar to it. That was immediately following his accident. We are positive that come December when he has his 6 month post accident evaluation he will be diagnosed. There is no question by any of the professionals that see him (and there are a lot) that he is showing clear and obvious ADHD tendencies.

 

We are attempting to deal without medicating him, but I do have a feeling that we will end up medicating him in the future, because it is effecting his schooling even with me taking into account all his issues.

 

To be fair he had some of these issues before his TBI, but they have gone up exponentially since the accident, and it is fairly obvious to anyone that sees him.

[ondreeuh]

:iagree: This is my son since his TBI. In his last report from the neuropsych she stated she wasn't diagnosing him as ADHD yet, but he had many behaviors similar to it. That was immediately following his accident. We are positive that come December when he has his 6 month post accident evaluation he will be diagnosed. There is no question by any of the professionals that see him (and there are a lot) that he is showing clear and obvious ADHD tendencies.

 

We are attempting to deal without medicating him, but I do have a feeling that we will end up medicating him in the future, because it is effecting his schooling even with me taking into account all his issues.

 

To be fair he had some of these issues before his TBI, but they have gone up exponentially since the accident, and it is fairly obvious to anyone that sees him.

 

My older son (who had that extensive testing) was suspected of having a brain injury. He had several heart surgeries as a baby and was put on bypass twice. Who knows if particulate caused a mini stroke, or the anesthesia or body chilling caused damage. Nothing was ever detected, though. He also has dyslexia, CAPD, and apraxia of speech. Looking at the family history, though, his father was dx with ADHD as a child and his paternal grandmother is VERY ADHD. His father and grandmother were also late readers and struggled with spelling and writing. So I can see the genetic component there, and wonder if his surgeries made things worse than they would have been.

 

My 4 year old, while more challenging behavior-wise, learns easily (thank goodness!). Of course his lessons are all of 5-10 minutes while he is climbing all over his chair LOL.

[lovinmomma]

I didn't read through all of the posts, but do any of your ADD/ADHD children have sensitivities to noise? My son has a few specific sounds that REALLY rub him the wrong way. It's almost like he can't handle it.

[Miss Cornelia Snook]

No, no noise sensitivities that I've noticed. These answers are all helpful--I really appreciate them.

[Seeking Squirrels]

I'm fairly certain my 4yo DD has ADHD. I have ADD so I'm somewhat familiar with what it looks like. She is in constant motion. She has zero impulse control. She commands attention with loud singing and dancing around if the focus is not on her. She climbs on everything and hangs upside down and swings and jumps all over the place. She is a thrill seeker and could not get enough of rides like space mountain when we were in Disneyland. She can't focus on an instruction for more than a few seconds. We have to tell her the same things over and over even over short periods of time (such as "don't kick my seat" easily a dozen times in a five minute car ride) She is very bright but often can't answer a simple question because she's moved on before you finish asking it. I could go on and on!

 

ETA: in the time it took me to write that, she fell on her head from hanging upside down off the side of the couch, found a bag of chocolate chips in the pantry and ran from daddy trying to get them from her, eating several in the process, made an obsticle course of our luggage, picked out a movie, found another snack, and got into our school stuff. I'm starting to realize why I'm so exhausted all the time lol.

Edited September 25, 2012 by CPSTAnne

[Miss Cornelia Snook]

CPSTAnne, that sounds exactly like my daughter. She's my only girl--my boys have been much calmer. I'm trying to figure out how much of it is her age, how much is just "girl", how much is simply her personality, and if any of it could be some dysfunction...if that's the right word. Yesterday I wrote in my journal a list of her adventures for the day, all that I could remember at the end of the day. I'm going to do the same thing today.

 

I'm getting her tested for gluten sensitivity, because her brother tested positive and his behavior improved dramatically after he started the gluten-free diet (I have celiac myself). If that doesn't show anything, I'm going to talk to her new pediatrician about my concerns. I discussed them with her old pediatrician, who didn't take me seriously. Maybe I didn't press hard enough.

 

I worry because it is affecting our relationship. I've never felt bonded to her as much as to my boys--she was a very difficult baby. Often I think she just doesn't like me. I admit that I often don't like *her* much, though I try VERY hard not to show it, only disapproval at the naughty things she does. I don't have enough patience for all her shenanigans, and like the PP, I go to bed exhausted every night. It is a huge relief when she is at preschool, or asleep. She just got home and we are already having small battles. I know all the wise old women tell me, "Don't wish away these years," but I can't help looking forward to when she's older and hopefully has a little more common sense...and less pride. I've been waiting quite a while for her to outgrow the terrible twos...and terrible threes. I cannot trust her unattended in the same room with her baby brother--she likes him well enough, but doesn't mind conducting experiments on him.

 

I'll do some more research. Thank you!

[Seeking Squirrels]

I've also been looking into trying gluten-free. We haven't decided for sure yet if it's the route we want to try but we need to do something soon. It's starting to affect our relationship, too. We just got back from CA yesterday and I think it may have been the most frustrating day of my life. I know anyone watching probably assumed she's a completely undisciplined child. Her obedience level was at zero and impulsivity at a ten. Days like that just end with us all frustrated and unhappy with each other. Lately it's made me worry about our decision to homeschool. It's something very important to me, but I fear for my sanity.

[Crimson Wife]

I didn't read through all of the posts, but do any of your ADD/ADHD children have sensitivities to noise? My son has a few specific sounds that REALLY rub him the wrong way. It's almost like he can't handle it.

 

All 3 of my kids have sensory issues, including the one diagnosed with ADHD and the one diagnosed with autism.

[I.Dup.]

I believe I would be diagnosed with ADD and I have an extreme noise sensitivity. My child who also has ADD/ADHD tendencies also has a noise sensitivity. I have read they often go together.

[LittleIzumi]

I didn't read through all of the posts, but do any of your ADD/ADHD children have sensitivities to noise? My son has a few specific sounds that REALLY rub him the wrong way. It's almost like he can't handle it.

 

Some. I could NOT sing, ever, when she was little. She would cover her ears and shriek for me to stop. :lol: Now it's just loud noises like applause that have her hunkering down and covering her ears.

[ondreeuh]

I didn't read through all of the posts, but do any of your ADD/ADHD children have sensitivities to noise? My son has a few specific sounds that REALLY rub him the wrong way. It's almost like he can't handle it.

 

My older son has CAPD and needs silence to concentrate. He is not sensitive to noise otherwise. My younger one isn't sensitive at all.

[LittleIzumi]

Oh, we also hit a huge wall in math because she couldn't do multi-step problems, even just making ten. She couldn't hold the first step in her mind while doing the second and would end up totally lost with no recollection of what she just did or was trying to do.

[Unicorn.]

I didn't read through all of the posts, but do any of your ADD/ADHD children have sensitivities to noise? My son has a few specific sounds that REALLY rub him the wrong way. It's almost like he can't handle it.

 

Oh yes! My kids still eat off plastic (think winnie the pooh) plates at 14 and 16, because dd freaks out at the sound of a metal fork on a stoneware plate/bowl. They used to fight during school time because so and so was Breathing too Loud!

 

ETA: they have other sensory issues too, not just to sound. Ds could not wear jeans before the age of 12. Dd can't stand the sound or feel of certain fabrics, etc.

Edited September 26, 2012 by Unicorn

[LittleIzumi]

Oh, I forgot the terror of the sound of public toilets. Still. It terrified her out of using the potty for months the first time she encountered one. At age 7, she still hates them.

[lovinmomma]

All 3 of my kids have sensory issues, including the one diagnosed with ADHD and the one diagnosed with autism.

 

I believe I would be diagnosed with ADD and I have an extreme noise sensitivity. My child who also has ADD/ADHD tendencies also has a noise sensitivity. I have read they often go together.

 

Some. I could NOT sing, ever, when she was little. She would cover her ears and shriek for me to stop. :lol: Now it's just loud noises like applause that have her hunkering down and covering her ears.

 

Very interesting. Something to ponder I guess. :)

[lovinmomma]

Oh yes! My kids still eat off plastic (think winnie the pooh) plates at 14 and 16, because dd freaks out at the sound of a metal fork on a stoneware plate/bowl. They used to fight during school time because so and so was Breathing too Loud!

 

ETA: they have other sensory issues too, not just to sound. Ds could not wear jeans before the age of 12. Dd can't stand the sound or feel of certain fabrics, etc.

 

That's one that gets my son going, too. I hadn't made a connection between the two things. My son hates wet fabric. I'm not sure if that's the same thing, but if there is a single little tiny area of water on his shirt he will have to go and change because he hates the feeling of the wetness on his skin. :confused:

[Wheres Toto]

I didn't read through all of the posts, but do any of your ADD/ADHD children have sensitivities to noise? My son has a few specific sounds that REALLY rub him the wrong way. It's almost like he can't handle it.

 

Some. I could NOT sing, ever, when she was little. She would cover her ears and shriek for me to stop. :lol: Now it's just loud noises like applause that have her hunkering down and covering her ears.

 

ETA: they have other sensory issues too, not just to sound. Ds could not wear jeans before the age of 12. Dd can't stand the sound or feel of certain fabrics, etc.

 

That's one that gets my son going, too. I hadn't made a connection between the two things. My son hates wet fabric. I'm not sure if that's the same thing, but if there is a single little tiny area of water on his shirt he will have to go and change because he hates the feeling of the wetness on his skin. :confused:

 

All of these describe my son. He only wears sweatpants and pj pants. Shirts must have the tags pulled out. He hates the sound of waterfalls, hand dryers or anything blowing. He can smell things that no one else can and walks around holding his nose.

 

We think my son may have ADHD. My older brother was and I recognize some of the same traits in my son. He can sit still and concentrate on things that are very interesting to him (computer games mostly) but my brother was the same way (with certain books and board games). We have been debating whether to have him diagnosed because he does fine at home since I can do what works best for him and we have no plans to medicate.

 

My younger dd is starting to show signs of adhd worse than her brother. He's always been quirky, impulsive, and difficult (yeah, the running into traffic long after he should know better) so we spent so much time guiding him, I think we missed some of her issues until they became too much to ignore. Right now she is running back and forth in the living room - throwing her whole body at the couch hard enough to rock it back and forth, then jumping up and running into the wall, then back to the couch.