New here with questions

[lgliser]

This is my first post. I was so happy to find this site and what looks like a very active forum!

 

I'm just starting to read The Well Trained Mind and it's really getting me excited to home school my kids. I have 5 year old triplets who started kindergarten at a public school.

 

I started having major anxiety about them going to school and tried desperately to get my husband to agree to send them to a local private school that does a classical education. Kids go MWF and are home schooled T/TH. While I still think this is the perfect option for us, my husband says we need to save money and so I started thinking about full time home school.

 

I think most people have an idea of what a typical home school kid is like and I'm quickly discovering that it seems like the home school world has come a long way. There seem to be lots of opportunities for socialization, so that's awesome.

 

I do feel like I was knocked down a peg last night while I was at dinner with some other mom friends. One was really rude and negative about the idea of me homeschooling. Some others were nice, but did say that we would get lumped in with the "weird" ones. Then there was a mom who was a public school teacher and she said that whenever kids who had been home schooled came to school, they always had a really hard time adjusting socially. I wondered though if any kid would have a hard time at first - even if they were just coming from another school to a new school.

 

Anyway, I'm only JUST getting to where I feel confident enough to think I could teach my 5 year olds, but the thought of teaching middle school and high school age kids totally overwhelms me right now.

 

I realize that taking things one day (or year) at a time is the best thing to do but I am a big planner. I like to think things through and attempt to make the best decision first so I don't have to yank the kids around from one place to another. And I know that I simply can't in this case, but I do want to at least think things through. If I decide that I can't home school them for some of their older years, how much should the thought of them having a hard time fitting in at school play into my decision to home school them now?

 

I hope this kind of question is ok to ask here! Thank so much for any advice.

Laney

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

Yea, I get to be the first to welcome you! There is a lot of good stuff on here, if you can search it out. I'm just now teaching a 1st grader so I'm not much help. Those things you were told are all things that homeschooling parents, both new and experienced, deal with and the expression I've heard on here is "pass the bean dip." Pretty much meaning don't bother trying to convince other people because you're most likely not going to change their minds.

 

Do some searches because I've heard all of these issues being addressed and discussed before, I just can't remember the individual threads. Good luck!

[lgliser]

Pass the bean dip! Too funny! Thank you for the welcome - I'll do some searches.

[mybluesky]

No advice as I just started homeschooling kindergarten 2 weeks ago, but I wanted to say welcome too!

[PeacefulChaos]

This is my first post. I was so happy to find this site and what looks like a very active forum!

I do feel like I was knocked down a peg last night while I was at dinner with some other mom friends. One was really rude and negative about the idea of me homeschooling. Some others were nice, but did say that we would get lumped in with the "weird" ones. Then there was a mom who was a public school teacher and she said that whenever kids who had been home schooled came to school, they always had a really hard time adjusting socially. I wondered though if any kid would have a hard time at first - even if they were just coming from another school to a new school.

 

I realize that taking things one day (or year) at a time is the best thing to do but I am a big planner. I like to think things through and attempt to make the best decision first so I don't have to yank the kids around from one place to another. And I know that I simply can't in this case, but I do want to at least think things through. If I decide that I can't home school them for some of their older years, how much should the thought of them having a hard time fitting in at school play into my decision to home school them now?

 

I hope this kind of question is ok to ask here! Thank so much for any advice.

Laney

First off, welcome! :)

You will meet people who have negative attitudes about homeschooling anywhere. One of the things that always baffles me is when people say repeatedly 'Oh I couldn't homeschool my kids.' :rolleyes: As if I'm trying to recruit them or something? Idk. :) But anyway, there are some very negative stereotypes out there of homeschooling and some people have family members tell them they are going to ruin their children, etc. (I actually was very hesitant to tell my grandparents because I wasn't sure what they'd think. I went to public school, and as I was growing up, homeschooling wasn't really popular or even heard of, at least where we lived! I really thought only the Amish homeschooled their kids. :) When I told them, however, they didn't think it was a bad idea - they know the state the public schools are in now, and homeschooling has become much more widely recognized and is completely different than it used to be.)

If you and your DH want to homeschool, be prepared for that. Just have a thick skin about it and remind yourself that the people who matter have already decided that it is what is best for your children and your family. Hopefully you will develop a strong network around you, too, of others who support your decision. All of DHs family is very supportive (though FIL has said he's not sure about high school, but I'm not concerned) and mine is, as well. Maybe to some people we seem like weirdos, but oh, well. :)

As far as kids having trouble readjusting, I'm sure they would. But like you said, it would be that way no matter what, usually.

People like to slap 'unsocialized' or 'socially awkward' labels on homeschooled kids. But remember, there are plenty of socially awkward public school kids, and socially awkward private school kids, etc.

I know you didn't say anything about when you pull them out, but my kids did a good job adjusting when I pulled them out of school. Link finished up through 1st grade in PS and Astro did pre-k in PS. Link was excited about it, especially - he said the other kids in class were too loud and talked too much. :lol: Astro is the type of kid who probably wouldn't LOVE school no matter where he was, so it was neither here nor there for him. He does like it though, and he does well. Pink is my only one who will never have a PS experience.

Have you read all the way through TWTM yet? The first time I read it (which was actually right about 3 years ago this week) I read it cover to cover. The further I read the more excited I got. THIS WAS IT!!! I had already decided I wanted to homeschool the following fall, had heard about this book from a friend, and I'm SO glad I asked to borrow it. (Now I have my own, very well-used already, copy ;) ) Anyway, you may find as you read through the middle and high school sections that this is something you CAN do all the way through. Or you may not. :) I know that it's a goal of mine to HS all the way through to graduation, all 3 kids. DH said, back when we were first discussing it, that maybe we would decide to put them back in later on, but the fact is that the education they'll be getting at home using TWTM will be so vastly different than what they learn at PS that there really will be no going back. I'm ok with that and DH is now, too. (Actually, I'm MORE than ok with it and DH is now, too) However, that is not the case for everyone and I think that when you get into the grades closer to putting them in school there are some great resources here and on the other boards that can help you know what to expect and plan for.

Sorry I'm so long winded!

[AmyontheFarm]

If your husband is on board. Ignore everyone else. You and your husband are the parents of those children and anyone that comes along can offer you an opinion, but you don't have to take it. Just thank them for their opinion and ask if they'd like some bean dip.

 

Also, just because you start homeschooling doesn't mean you have to continue until college! Just like breastmilk, even just a few days is beneficial. So, if you two chose to just homeschool until grade 1 or middle school or the kids junior year they will benefit.

 

Don't be afraid to get your feet wet! Hey, you survived raising three children through the toddler years all at once, you girl are indestructible! Whatever you as parents decide, it's your choice! Blessings and welcome.

 

Now, go search cupcakes, kilts and bean dip if you haven't already done so! :lol:

[freeindeed]

Hello and welcome.

[ailysh]

Welcome! I just wanted to add my two cents, even though I'm new too and my daughter is only 2.5.

 

I was home schooled from 1st grade through 12th. Back then it was even more unusual than it is today. I had no trouble adjusting to college, but having visited the local high school, I know I would have had a bit of trouble adjusting if I had gone there. It would have been because of the social constructs of the high school and not because of any lack of "socialization" associated with my being home schooled. I would have had difficulty dealing with the wasted time, the cliques, and the general attitude of disdain for learning that was present in the local high school, even though I had several friends who went there (I'm not saying that's how all public schools are, just that particular one). Homeschool is more similar IMO to college than highschool in the general expectation that you want to be there, you will be mature and responsible for your own work, and you are there to learn (of course that also depends on the college you attend and the people you choose to associate with). Also, incoming freshmen are all new and you don't have to break into any established cliques. I also have never had trouble getting or holding a job, meeting new people or moving to new places, or maintaining healthy relationships. Remember, highschool is a very small bubble in the course of one's life and good socialization encompasses much much more than fitting in with the popular kids. It is better to prepare for the real world.

 

FWIW, I plan to homeschool my daughters for as long as possible, but may end up sending them to public school in high school. For my family it is like breast feeding as long as possible before starting formula. ;) At least I knew I gave them the best possible start, KWIM? Again, this is my family, I'm not saying it is best for everybody! Hope that helps!

[Night Elf]

If I decide that I can't home school them for some of their older years, how much should the thought of them having a hard time fitting in at school play into my decision to home school them now?

 

That's just stressing yourself out over something that you have no idea how it will work out. Does that make sense? They are so young. After you've homeschooled a year, or two, or maybe three, you may feel completely differently about homeschooling than you do now. I was a nervous wreck the first year, better the second, and hit my stride in the 3rd year. I didn't know if I was going to homeschool them through high school but I didn't worry about it.

 

I have a dd14 who started public high school this year. I don't feel like homeschooling hindered her at all. She was academically prepared to start 9th grade and the social stuff is just happening normally. She's adjusting to her new school routine just fine. She already knew how to talk to people. She was in some homeschool classes, and has been in an acting class for a couple of years. I suppose it might have been worse if she had never been around peers, but I made sure to get her involved in something. But I did that because she needed peers and friends, not to prepare her for school.

 

What part worries you the most? Academics or social stuff?

[Cassy]

:seeya: Welcome!

 

We pulled DS11 (and DS8) from school three years ago and they've loved homeschool. DS11 has just gone back to school with no problems at all, he already knew a couple of boys in his class and they all seem to be having fun. So far he also seems to be well ahead academically. Despite loving his new school he says he's very glad he was homeschooled, and wishes he had been homeschooled from the start, mainly because he enjoyed being with me :001_wub:.

[brendag]

Welcome! First of all, congrats on the triplets! I have twins so hats off to you! ;)

 

I started homeschooling my kids about a year ago for their pre-k year and added just a little bit more this year for K.

 

Last year I was able to do pretty much everything with them together since it was basically handwriting, math, phonics, scissor practice, lots of reading etc. One thing that became apparent this last year is that I have 2 very different types of learners. Don't be surprised if this happens and you at some point need different things for different kids. It's one of the things that I love about homeschooling. You adjust if you need to.

 

You've been given a lot of great advice from previous posters (PP). As long as you and your hubby are on board, that's the main thing. You are already starting to get some comments, but one thing that I tend to say to head off any further comments are "We are doing what we think is best for our kids". You can usually tell if people are genuinely interested when they ask questions or if they are trying to push an agenda or get into a debate. Yea, you will probably need some thick skin if you don't already have it, but I'm sure as a mom of triplets, you are more than able to handle whatever comes your way! :D

 

Brenda

[fraidycat]

Welcome!

 

Ignore the naysayers and do what feels right to you and your DH.

 

There is a saying about Opinions being like...well, a certain body part, and how everybody has one and they stink. :tongue_smilie:

[LaxMom]

First, welcome to the boards!

 

Second, there is a difference between socializing and socialization. Socialization is learning to operate within the cultural norms of a group. The difference is that they are socialized to the norms of our family and friends (who likely share many, if not most, of our customs and traditions).

 

When homeschooled children enter institutional schooling, they have to be resocialized to operate within the norms of that group. Kids generally do that in K, so that's why teachers notice the adjustment period in the later grades.

 

That has nothing to do with fitting in to social groups at school. Anyone who has been "the new kid" can tell you that it takes a while to break in socially, regardless of your prior educational environment.

 

And, quite frankly, I want my kids to be socialized to my family's cultural norms. That is more easily accomplished when you're not socializing them in conflict with an institution who has their attention the majority of the day.

[lgliser]

I know you didn't say anything about when you pull them out, but my kids did a good job adjusting when I pulled them out of school.

I'm glad to hear this!

 

Have you read all the way through TWTM yet?

I just started the "logic" section. I gotta say, it's a tad more overwhelming than the grammar section. The grammar section had me really excited! But I'm not too far into logic yet so maybe something will click. :)

 

but the fact is that the education they'll be getting at home using TWTM will be so vastly different than what they learn at PS that there really will be no going back.

I can certainly imagine!!

 

Sorry I'm so long winded!

I love it! Thank you!

 

to get your feet wet! Hey, you survived raising three children through the toddler years all at once, you girl are indestructible!

This goes along with having a thick skin - you don't know how many times I have heard, "triplets? I'm so sorry... I'd want to kill myself... etc." Oh and they say it right in front of my kids! Seriously people!

 

Remember, highschool is a very small bubble in the course of one's life and good socialization encompasses much much more than fitting in with the popular kids. It is better to prepare for the real world.

I LOVE this point!

 

That's just stressing yourself out over something that you have no idea how it will work out. Does that make sense?

Yes it makes sense - I just can't help it! I am too much of a planner. I know that I can't plan everything out, things will change. My plans will not always work out the way I thought they would. But it's just my nature to think through everything.

 

I don't feel like homeschooling hindered her at all.

Wonderful to hear!

 

What part worries you the most? Academics or social stuff?

My automatic response is social. We are a very active family and I've gotten out and about in many mommy groups since they were babies. They are social kids and they have friends. And if I keep them home to homeschool, I know that we'd involve ourselves in as many things as possible. So I'm not so worried about them being socially awkward per say, but just fitting into cliques that are already there. This may be less true of a public high school that has many schools feeding into it, but we may decide to send them to a private school, where the kids have been together since day one. Sending them to a private school would be because of my slight academic worry. If we do a classical education, I think that it would just be so different from what they'd get in public school. This one private school does a classical education so they'd be more on track academically. See.... there I go over-thinking again!!!

 

One thing that became apparent this last year is that I have 2 very different types of learners. Don't be surprised if this happens and you at some point need different things for different kids.

Oh goodness yes, I can already see this happening!

 

Thank you EVERYONE - for the welcome and the excellent points. And many of you asked if DH and I were in agreement - he is more in favor of homeschooling than even I am!

 

Now, off to see why the heck cupcakes, bean dip and kilts are so funny!

[scrappyhappymama]

There are also at least two other moms of triplets who homeschool here on the board. Hopefully, one of them will check this thread and chime in as well! If not, you might want to start a "Homeschooling Triplets?" thread. :001_smile:

[3 Only Children]

Welcome! I've only just found this forum this summer and have learned so much! At first all the abbreviations for the curriculum was confusing, search for "abbreviations sticky" on here, it has a list of what they mean, very helpful!

I have a notebook I use just for jotting down suggestions I have read on here, even though it is not neat it's good to have it all in one place. I would also encourage to find a home-school support group in your area, you need new friends who are on the same journey as you are starting. Also know that kindergarten is a great place to start and you won't be having to "fix" things that they weren't taught properly in school, such as handwriting in first grade. I speak from experience here.

Nobody knows your children like you and your husband or loves them as much. Congratulations on deciding to homeschool!!:001_smile: