momto2Cs Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 The original thread Thank you all so much. I finally got up the courage to approach my mom, and tell her I didn't feel right with the church. She told me she felt me pulling away, and could understand my concerns... that I need to find what is right for me, and supports my personal beliefs. I am feeling so much relief right now, and I appreciate all the support I got here for making this break. We're going to check out the UU church near here. I do want to go to church, and I think the open and welcoming atmosphere there might work well. If not, we've got a million and one other choices out there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 Good for you! Sounds like the conversation went very well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 I'm so glad it went well with your mom. You must be so relieved! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovemykids Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 I am glad you stood up for yourself. Congrats, I am sure it was tough... :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto2Cs Posted August 9, 2012 Author Share Posted August 9, 2012 I'm so glad it went well with your mom. You must be so relieved! YES! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 I'm glad it worked out well for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jpoy85 Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 Im glad it worked out. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 Good for you, so glad it went well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto2Cs Posted August 9, 2012 Author Share Posted August 9, 2012 Part 2: My sister is furious and upset with me. She says my refusal to discuss more right now is a slap in the face, that I am treating her like a stranger or a crazy evangelist. She says she is trying to share with me a wonderful gift that she was given, and I didn't even give it a chance. I am so freakin' miserable now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PollyOR Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 Sorry about your sister. :glare: Sounds like she's taking it personal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto2Cs Posted August 9, 2012 Author Share Posted August 9, 2012 And now my sister has informed me that my mom IS pissed off at me, just too nice to say so. They seem to be taking this as a personal attack, which is what I was trying to avoid. Cr@p, cr@p, cr@p. I feel like crying now. Every point I've tried to make, they counter with "but that's not how it is in OUR church", which seems to me to be ignoring the fact that their church IS a Pentecostal one, which means that to some degree, they follow the same tenets of the Pentecostal church that I am having issues with. This is worse than when I announced we'd be homeschooling (which my sister still doesn't like). My mom has always been there to help out with childcare and all that, but now I am worried that I have caused an irreparable rift. My sister is trying her best to convince me that I am running away, sticking my head in the sand, and am trying to ignore the fact that she is “handing me the greatest gift life can offer.†I've tried apologizing for hurting their feelings, and my sister just keeps saying “whatever†and then sending me MORE information on how I am wrong about the church. How they are all allowing, and open to everyone, etc. Right now I wish more than anything that I had gone just once, and said “I'm sorry, but this isn't for me.†It might have been a lot easier than trying to get out now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunnyDays Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 I'm sorry your sister is being so difficult. Remember that even if she says your mom is mad... well, at least your mom was gracious enough to understand this is your decision. Families can carry around disappointments about one another yet still agree to set them aside and love one another. It's too bad your sister isn't willing to do this. :grouphug: Perhaps if you repeat "Please don't take this personally; I love you all and I simply need to make a different choice for our church home" she will eventually come around enough to accept and get past it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennsmile Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Time does heal lots of wounds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 (edited) And now my sister has informed me that my mom IS pissed off at me, just too nice to say so. They seem to be taking this as a personal attack, which is what I was trying to avoid. Cr@p, cr@p, cr@p. I feel like crying now. Every point I've tried to make, they counter with "but that's not how it is in OUR church", which seems to me to be ignoring the fact that their church IS a Pentecostal one, which means that to some degree, they follow the same tenets of the Pentecostal church that I am having issues with. This is worse than when I announced we'd be homeschooling (which my sister still doesn't like). My mom has always been there to help out with childcare and all that, but now I am worried that I have caused an irreparable rift. My sister is trying her best to convince me that I am running away, sticking my head in the sand, and am trying to ignore the fact that she is “handing me the greatest gift life can offer.” I've tried apologizing for hurting their feelings, and my sister just keeps saying “whatever” and then sending me MORE information on how I am wrong about the church. How they are all allowing, and open to everyone, etc. Right now I wish more than anything that I had gone just once, and said “I'm sorry, but this isn't for me.” It might have been a lot easier than trying to get out now. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: This information is filtered through your sister. Call your mom directly. Edited August 9, 2012 by LemonPie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scholarly Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 YOU are not causing a rift. Your sister is causing a rift. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 :grouphug: It sounds like your sister is mad and trying to pull your mom into it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiberia Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 Don't back down. The fact that they are so upset is another red flag about the church. I used to go to a church like that. It was wonderful and life-changing in many ways, but still controlling and pushy and judgmental. We "knew" we were right about everything, and anyone who rejected us was "deceived." I think you're smart to get out now and deal with the fallout now, rather than a few years down the road. Let your mom and sis know you love them, and that you are happy that they found a church home, but it's not the church for you. End of conversation. Sorry you're having to deal with this. Jo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 I'm sorry your sister is being so difficult. Remember that even if she says your mom is mad... well, at least your mom was gracious enough to understand this is your decision. Families can carry around disappointments about one another yet still agree to set them aside and love one another. It's too bad your sister isn't willing to do this. :grouphug: Perhaps if you repeat "Please don't take this personally; I love you all and I simply need to make a different choice for our church home" she will eventually come around enough to accept and get past it. :iagree: I would tell your sister that it is not her place to be a go between and it's up to your mom if she wants to talk to you about it. Keep it on YOUR terms. Pass the bean dip. Rinse. Repeat. :grouphug: I'm sorry. A UU community has been a great fit for our family! I hope you find something that feels good and works for you and can find a place of peace with your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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