Not feeling so much like super woman these days....

[Soror]

It occurred to me for the very first time that I don't know that I will be able to hs my kids all the way through (for my own sanity and theirs). I am an introvert at heart and mom to 3 extroverts. I'm pregnant and feeling like I'm on some treadmill and not due to get off any time soon. I told dh I don't know if I can keep up with their needs and wants for social interaction and respect my own as well. While I don't think it is a requirement I also see that for them being out and doing stuff is something they enjoy and only continue to enjoy more the older they get.

 

Something else has occurred to my perhaps not entirely sane pregnant brain. I don't know how I identify myself. I was a bf'ing, gd'ing, hb'ing, hs'ing mom but right now the whole entire idea of that is absurd to me. I was talking to my dearest friend and she was saying how we don't have a lot in common in some aspects. It struck me how those things don't define me anymore at all, they are things I do, but not who I am. They are important to me and yet they aren't important at all in the grand scheme of things(if that makes sense).

 

I told dh though mostly I feel weary of it all. These days the responsibilities just add on and on, women have it easier in some ways but not in so many others and I cannot do it all. I swear I'll never make it through my 30's. Is this my "third" life crisis (hmmm is that a word?)? Anyone else been there?

 

In the positive dh was very supportive of me and said if I felt that I couldn't do schooling we would do whatever we needed. And then he started talking about this year and I was a little taken aback. I didn't mean right now, I guess I just don't know what I mean!

[Catwoman]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

It sounds like you need a few days of fun to get you back into a better mood.

 

I hate it when I get too introspective. It never ends well.

[Night Elf]

I've never understood the concept of having to identify myself. I'm just me and I do what I do. I'm a mom, but does that have to mean anything more than I'm a mom? Am I missing some big picture part of life that there has to be some label to make me a fulfilled person? I just can't imagine it.

 

Homeschooling through high school is not easy. I envy those who say it is. I graduated one by the hair on my chinny chin chin. I'm trying to get her into community college but she's dragging her feet and time is running out. My middle child is a junior and I can't even begin to imagine how he's going to transition from homeschooling high school to college, even at the community college level. And my youngest is about to start public high school. I have very mixed feelings about that. I'm going to miss having her home but I really genuinely believe school will be a good place for her. I like the idea that she will be on a traditional track of public school then college. There are so many things that seem to be going wrong with homeschooling my teens. Most namely, we are all bored and lonely.

 

This probably doesn't sound very encouraging, but sometimes I wish I had never heard of homeschooling. At the very least, I wish it was still years ago when homeschooling was fun and not stressful. High school is just so serious and there is no room for error!

 

My saving grace is this board. It's so nice to see that others are either in it, or BTDT, and that I can learn from the collective wisdom. I don't know how I would have homeschooled these past 11 years without having this board as a resource!!

 

:grouphug:

[UmMusa]

I've been going through something similar. My son is 11 and really really wants out of homeschooling. We've though about options, but in the end I still felt so much pressure. I have three daughters who are younger who I will keep homeschooling. Well, just last week we found out the district where our new house is has 6th grade in elementary school (versus middle school) and that seemed perfect for us for this year. He can spread his wings, see how it goes. If it's awful, we have a good backup plan with something he is willing to settle for (Calvert curriculum).

 

I really feel a load off. It was hard for me to get there b/c of what I believe is 'right' or 'good'. But I feel like we've reached that critical point where something had to change. And me taking a few days off to 'recharge' hasn't done a thing. LOL

[Catwoman]

I really feel a load off. It was hard for me to get there b/c of what I believe is 'right' or 'good'. But I feel like we've reached that critical point where something had to change. And me taking a few days off to 'recharge' hasn't done a thing. LOL

 

Clearly, you need to work harder at being more easily distracted and shallow, or my suggestions are never going to work for you. :tongue_smilie:

[fairfarmhand]

I've been through this too.

 

Believe me it gets better. It won't always be pregnancy, diapers and potty training.

 

I gave myself permission to take it one year at a time.

 

breathe.

 

You don't have to have it all figured out right now.

[Cassy]

Yes, I can remember having that kind of life crisis a few years ago when I had tiny littles around and was pregnant again. It is tough, especially with all the pregnancy hormones and so little energy. It's hard to appreciate how wonderfully lucky you are. But it doesn't remain that difficult. You get your energy and stamina back. Your littles get bigger and start being helpful instead of a drain. Oh, and they get so much more enjoyable and good fun the older they get. Then suddenly you get to the point I'm at now, with my youngest 5 yo, my oldest 13 yo, and I can positively see the years flashing by, and I almost wish I were back where you are now. Almost. I do wish I'd stopped a bit more to just 'be' with them, enjoy them, when they were so little, although it can be easier said than done. Take life as it comes, take care of yourself. Don't worry, you don't need to be Superwoman, you will be able to provide all they need.

[ktgrok]

I think it is normal, as the kids get older and you get more experienced and comfortable in your role to not find those same things defining you. They just become normal, no longer a "cause" or defining thing. I get that. I think it lets me get along with MORE people.

 

As for the social needs, keep in mind that as they get older you will be able to take them places and drop them off, thereby getting time for yourself. Maybe that thought will help?

[Soror]

I know a lot of it is pregnancy. I never feel this way but then again these past 2 years especially have been a constant reevaluation. I don't know what I need. I feel I need time to myself but I cannot get enough. I want a break I guess but even that is short term. I guess I wish I knew how to best serve all of us and it is just occurring to me perhaps that it doesn't necessarily have to mean all that I've assumed it to mean. We don't have to do things just one way.

 

Oh and dropping off at activities isn't my idea of fun either. I had that a few weeks back with Cub Scout camp and even just going into town everyday is a total drain. It is too much of a pain to drive back home so we are just stuck and I'd rather be home.

[Night Elf]

I often change things up. I have to. Even now I'm feeling like I'm in a bit of a rut. So I'm looking to make some changes.

 

Me too. Sometimes I have good ideas and sometimes I end up wondering what on earth was I thinking!! :D

[Susan in TX]

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

You are in a difficult season right now. Your kids are young! You don't need to worry now about how you will home school them or meet their needs later on, just take things one day at a time. I'm guessing that even though things are hard for you right now, you are meeting their needs just fine. If a few years down the road you decide that their needs and yours will be better met by not homeschooling that's ok. But cross that bridge when you come to it.

 

Also, children often want much more social interaction than they really need. It's fine to put a limit on it even if they don't like it. And they also have each other, so I wouldn't worry about providing enough social interaction.

 

Susan in TX

[besroma]

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

You are in a difficult season right now. Your kids are young! You don't need to worry now about how you will home school them or meet their needs later on, just take things one day at a time. I'm guessing that even though things are hard for you right now, you are meeting their needs just fine. If a few years down the road you decide that their needs and yours will be better met by not homeschooling that's ok. But cross that bridge when you come to it.

 

Also, children often want much more social interaction than they really need. It's fine to put a limit on it even if they don't like it. And they also have each other, so I wouldn't worry about providing enough social interaction.

 

Susan in TX

 

:iagree:

[Aspasia]

:bigear: because I'm an introvert with at least one extroverted child and a new baby (read: I'm exhausted!), so I feel this way sometimes, too. I do keep reminding myself of what I learned the first two times around, that I won't feel this exhausted and unmotivated forever. Right?

[Mrs. A]

:grouphug: I could almost have written your post myself. Pregnancy + lots of littles is an exhausting combo! Sometimes just the thought of the day ahead is enough to make me want to cry! I feel so overwhelmed these days. but I have noticed one good side to all this- I am being driven to my knees in prayer and am learning to depend wholly on God for my strength to make it through. For me personally, it's a lesson I certainly needed. So I hope that you will find a silver lining in your situation as well. :)

[wintermom]

As other moms have mentioned, you're in a very demanding season of parenting right now. Even if your weren't homeschooling, life would be crazy. Things WILL get better, though, but not right away. Pregnancy is tough, but having a baby will keep you even busier. You can do it!!

 

So:

 

- Pace yourself and don't try to do it all perfectly (cleaning, schooling, laundry).

 

- Get out of the house w/o kids at least once a week to do physical activity. It will give you more energy, even if you think it won't it will. Insist on this time - dh is fully capable to be at home with the dc. If he can't or won't, put a very good babysitter into your budget. You need to be fit and healthy to survive these challenging years.

 

- Make time for short alone breaks for you. This might be family nap time in the afternoon, TV break for dc and computer time for you, or something similar.

 

- Stay at home to homeschool. Avoid bringing one child to an activity, unless there is child care for the others and YOU can have a break, too. The organization and stress of getting all the dc out of the house for a specific time can be exhausting.

 

:grouphug: and lastly, try to relax and have fun with the darling children you have. Soak up every day of it, because those baby and toddlers years pass by far to quickly.

Edited August 4, 2012 by wintermom

[Soror]

Thank you all for the hugs and thoughts. I'm evaluating all of them to see what will work for us. I'm actually feeling ok with all the general stuff around the house. It does depress me though that I have been too tired to accomplish anymore than that. I should be canning and preserving and such and I feel like a sea slug instead.

 

I do limit their outside time, alot, we haven't hardly done anything the whole summer. Maybe 6 playdates and ds had overnight cubscout camp and 3 day-daycamp. No other activities and we've been home, they go to the in-laws who live up the road at most 1 x a week, that is a break for me though. In the fall we will have cubscouts and American Heritage Girls and those are both on the same night, same time and place(thank goodness). We have hs co-op as well but that is just every other week and I don't know that we will go every event.

 

I've had a lot of emotional conflict though and I'm especially weary of that. The loss of a friend, although that has been coming. A committee I am on has a new person, who evidently doesn't care for me, and seems to be trying to make things difficult and be a jerk. I'm trying to decide the most prudent course to take in this situation. I range between wanting to calmly step out and assertively telling her what a jerk she is, still thinking on that one.

 

I haven't been enjoying our days much and I don't know if they have either. I think that is a lot of it, I'm feeling disconnected and my emotions are tiring. Then physically I'm tired and don't feel like doing what I think I should be, which then makes me depressed, it is a vicious cycle.

[Soror]

Oh, and I had planned on starting school Wednesday but forgot I had a food pick-up at 8 am and then we had friends over and then Thurs we were gone all day to a meeting and the park, so yesterday I just veg'd. I haven't done ANY scheduling at all or even looked at curriculum that I bought all summer. I guess we'll just open and go because I haven't the motivation to do it. Hopefully that will kick start me a bit, I think I've had too much free time in a way and not enough personal time.

[Night Elf]

Oh, and I had planned on starting school Wednesday but forgot I had a food pick-up at 8 am and then we had friends over and then Thurs we were gone all day to a meeting and the park, so yesterday I just veg'd. I haven't done ANY scheduling at all or even looked at curriculum that I bought all summer. I guess we'll just open and go because I haven't the motivation to do it. Hopefully that will kick start me a bit, I think I've had too much free time in a way and not enough personal time.

 

How long would it take you to prepare at least for the week? I wish I could help because I'm actually itching to plan curriculum right now. I've decided to add a little to our weekly schedule so I get to move squares around on my weekly planner. To be honest, it's probably rather weird just how happy that makes me to have something to do. Anyway, I take time on Sunday to plan for the week. I like knowing exactly what we're going to do in each lesson so I read through the lessons and take notes if I feel the need. Could you find an hour somewhere in your week to plan the week ahead, even if it means an hour on Tuesday (or whatever day would work, I'm just saying it doesn't have to be a weekend) night to plan for Wed. through Mon?

[LNC]

It occurred to me for the very first time that I don't know that I will be able to hs my kids all the way through (for my own sanity and theirs). I am an introvert at heart and mom to 3 extroverts. I'm pregnant and feeling like I'm on some treadmill and not due to get off any time soon....

 

I think you are very wise to follow a LCC inspired schedule. MP makes curriculum guides now that make planning incredibly easy - you just follow their lessons! If I started over with young children as you have, I would use those - with SOTW audios in the summertime... :grouphug:

[Soror]

How long would it take you to prepare at least for the week? I wish I could help because I'm actually itching to plan curriculum right now. I've decided to add a little to our weekly schedule so I get to move squares around on my weekly planner. To be honest, it's probably rather weird just how happy that makes me to have something to do. Anyway, I take time on Sunday to plan for the week. I like knowing exactly what we're going to do in each lesson so I read through the lessons and take notes if I feel the need. Could you find an hour somewhere in your week to plan the week ahead, even if it means an hour on Tuesday (or whatever day would work, I'm just saying it doesn't have to be a weekend) night to plan for Wed. through Mon?

It won't take me very long I think as I just do very basic planning. I figured out last year that if I plan it out to detailed then it just stresses me out. I just need to figure out how many lessons are in each program and divide by week. It is starting it I guess. I really appreciate the thoughts, I usually LOVE planning, I'm just not in the mood.

I think you are very wise to follow a LCC inspired schedule. MP makes curriculum guides now that make planning incredibly easy - you just follow their lessons! If I started over with young children as you have, I would use those - with SOTW audios in the summertime... :grouphug:

I had thought about doing packaged MP and might have if it wasn't for the money. Of course I worry it might end up stressing me more though if I didn't do it just like they wrote it out.