shanvan Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 A mom of one of the only other families with small children at our church is constantly acting as if she has inside information about church members. It's not that she gossips. She will just say oh yes, so-and-so told me what a difficult time she is having, or that she will be back from vacation on this day. She also tells me things about the pastor's family as though she is very close with them. I was always wondering, "gee, why do they talk to her about all this stuff and include her and not me?" Then I just figured they have known her longer and shrugged it off. So...I finally realized she is getting all of her info from facebook and has no direct contact with these people about any of the things she is telling me. I just don't visit facebook very often, so I never realized it before. Would you feel like this woman is being somewhat misleading and dishonest? She has never said "I saw ___ on facebook." She always presents the info as though she heard it first hand from that person. I even imagined her having outside meetings with people from church, or at least phone calls. She just presented the info that way. Again, the info is not gossip. It's completely non-threatening info. I just wonder why she sees the need to present it the way she does. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 (edited) When I've known people who acted this way, it is because they enjoy being what my dh calls "information brokers". Some people feel better about themselves if they think they are the first to know something and/or they are able to share information others don't know. It sounds like your friend might fall into this category. Edited July 31, 2012 by ereks mom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 How do you know she doesn't speak with these people and not only get i formation on FB? Either way, I would almost feel sorry for her and wouldn't tend to be annoyed if what you say is true. It's kind of sad, isn't it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Kate Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 That is an interesting question...I do read FB regularly and because of this, I certainly know more about people than I would otherwise. However, if I am presenting information about someone that I read on FB, I always say that. "Oh yes, Sally did go on vacation last week. I saw the pictures she posted on FB." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 Wouldn't bother me. FB is where I get most of my friend info. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted July 31, 2012 Author Share Posted July 31, 2012 How do you know she doesn't speak with these people and not only get i formation on FB? It took me a while to put 2 & 2 together. We were new when she first started telling me the 'inside scoop'. I started to wonder when I realized the people she was talking about are not really phone people and are way to busy to make arrangements to get together. And unless she was there I don't know how she would know what the pastor's family out in the midwest looked like on Christmas morning! Once I realized that's where she got her info from I started asking her "Oh, did you see that on facebook?" in a joking way b/c I know her husband thinks she is spending too much time on facebook. Sometimes she avoids the question and sometimes answers yes. She continues to present info without referencing facebook. Maybe she is just way more into facebook than I am and it's kind of like another poster mentioned, how she gets a lot of her info about friends. Maybe she thinks she is helping me out b/c I have said I don't spend time on fb....I spend it here instead.:laugh: So maybe I shouldn't be annoyed. Not that it was bothering me that much. I kind of had a good laugh at myself for thinking she was going out to lunch or something with all those people! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rivka Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 No, I wouldn't find it annoying. I get a lot of friend information from FB too, and I wouldn't think that I needed to qualify how I knew something about someone. I would stop making "joking" comments to her about how much time she spends on FB, though. It's not really any of your business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 A mom of one of the only other families with small children at our church is constantly acting as if she has inside information about church members. It's not that she gossips. She will just say oh yes, so-and-so told me what a difficult time she is having, or that she will be back from vacation on this day. She also tells me things about the pastor's family as though she is very close with them. I was always wondering, "gee, why do they talk to her about all this stuff and include her and not me?" Then I just figured they have known her longer and shrugged it off. So...I finally realized she is getting all of her info from facebook and has no direct contact with these people about any of the things she is telling me. I just don't visit facebook very often, so I never realized it before. Would you feel like this woman is being somewhat misleading and dishonest? She has never said "I saw ___ on facebook." She always presents the info as though she heard it first hand from that person. I even imagined her having outside meetings with people from church, or at least phone calls. She just presented the info that way. Again, the info is not gossip. It's completely non-threatening info. I just wonder why she sees the need to present it the way she does. I know lots of biddies like this. And, you know what? All that stuff she is saying IS gossip. She's talking about others behind their backs. No matter how innocuous she may present it, it is still gossip. There are people in this world for whom gossip is a rarity. There are people in this world for whom gossip is a passtime. There are people in this world for whom gossip is a hobby. There are people in this world for whom gossip is a sport. There are people in this world for whom gossip is a competitive sport. And... there are people in this world for whom gossip is a blood sport. I.e. your biddie is a gossiper and it is probably a sport for her at some level because she's always got to be "in the know" and she's fishing around facebook to make sure she's always got something to say about someone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 No, I wouldn't find it annoying. I get a lot of friend information from FB too, and I wouldn't think that I needed to qualify how I knew something about someone. I would stop making "joking" comments to her about how much time she spends on FB, though. It's not really any of your business. :iagree::iagree::iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 I know lots of biddies like this. And, you know what? All that stuff she is saying IS gossip. She's talking about others behind their backs. No matter how innocuous she may present it, it is still gossip. There are people in this world for whom gossip is a rarity. There are people in this world for whom gossip is a passtime. There are people in this world for whom gossip is a hobby. There are people in this world for whom gossip is a sport. There are people in this world for whom gossip is a competitive sport. And... there are people in this world for whom gossip is a blood sport. I.e. your biddie is a gossiper and it is probably a sport for her at some level because she's always got to be "in the know" and she's fishing around facebook to make sure she's always got something to say about someone. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted July 31, 2012 Author Share Posted July 31, 2012 No, I wouldn't find it annoying. I get a lot of friend information from FB too, and I wouldn't think that I needed to qualify how I knew something about someone. I would stop making "joking" comments to her about how much time she spends on FB, though. It's not really any of your business. It's her husband who comments about her time on Facebook. I have only asked her here and there if she read the info she is giving on Facebook. It is not meant maliciously and I don't make any comments at all about how much time she spends on Facebook. I realize it isn't my business. I started asking her in the first place to assess where the info was coming from. I'm not asking her every Sunday about her time spent on Facebook. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 I think she just wants you to think she's popular and important. I also think that she is probably repeating every single thing you tell her to every last person she knows on Earth. Be careful what you tell her, because it's pretty obvious that anything you say can and will be used against you. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 I think she just wants you to think she's popular and important. I also think that she is probably repeating every single thing you tell her to every last person she knows on Earth. Be careful what you tell her, because it's pretty obvious that anything you say can and will be used against you. ;) :iagree: Yes! This sharing of information might make her think she is important and has lots and lots of friends. Are things said like she is letting you in on a big secret? I would be very careful what you share. My guess is anything being said has had more drama added to it. However, maybe not. If not, ignore what I said:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 I think she just wants you to think she's popular and important. I also think that she is probably repeating every single thing you tell her to every last person she knows on Earth. Be careful what you tell her, because it's pretty obvious that anything you say can and will be used against you. ;) Possibly. She might also be a bad conversationalist/shy and is desperate to find things to say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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