How many hours scheduled out of the home for extraverts

[Lymeade Mom]

Let me start by saying both my kids and I are all extraverts and NEED to be out of the house. One year for various reasons we had no outside activities and my oldest got into a type of depression that activities remedied, so I'm asking for those kids who really do need it. However, I never seem to find the right balance of how much to get out (to keep us all energized) and how much to stay home (to get housework and schoolwork done to the level I want). If we are home to much, we don't get much accomplished b/c we get unmotivated. If we are gone too much, well ....obviously there has be some home in homeschooling.

 

We have a weekly co-op that is basically all day and it is great educationally and socially. They offer a high level of classes. However, this is not enough b/c we don't do well on being home all day 3-4 days in a row. What I'm really trying to decide is how many afternoons I need to be home and how many should schedule out. I do know that work gets done so much faster when we have somewhere to go. It seems like twice as fast. However, I want at least SOME time for some Charlotte Mason-style "Masterly inactivity" where my kids can pursue their own interests and projects as well as free-reading.

 

 

 

I "only" have 2 children and a lot of the activities involve both (like going to park day with other homeschoolers). The things I'm considering are not necessarily "extracurricular" but something like getting together regularly with another family to work on some projects, etc. Things that aren't going to cost money other than gas. We don't currently have church activities outside of Sunday morning, though we may join a small group that mets every other week. My kids may have a Saturday activity for the fall. I'm also considering signing them up for a sport program, but it's very low key and not very long and not expensive. I'm also looking at teaching a class, so that involves us all getting out of the home. I don't want to be over busy, but last year we were not busy enough (I know, you introverts things I'm crazy, but it's true! Even my introvert dh agrees. :) )

 

I'd love to hear your story of a balance you've found, especially if you AND your children need that outside the home time.

Edited July 10, 2012 by Lymeade Mom

[kroe1]

Mine is out about 20 hours a week during the school year and 30 hours a week during the summer. This time is devoted to her extracurricular activities. Luckily, we have just one child left at home, otherwise DS would have to have a personal driver. :lol:

[Lymeade Mom]

Mine is out about 20 hours a week during the school year and 30 hours a week during the summer. This time is devoted to her extracurricular activities. Luckily, we have just one child left at home, otherwise DS would have to have a personal driver. :lol:

 

 

How do you find time for school work? Does it work well for her? Part of my struggle is that I was totally overscheduled as a child, so I don't want to do the same thing to my kids. Yet, we don't go to school everyday and I don't want to end up giving up homeschool's benefits just b/c I don't meet the extravert's needs.

Edited July 10, 2012 by Lymeade Mom
corrected punctuation

[sassenach]

Between co-op, park days, swim, ballet, church and neighborhood friends, my extravert has something going on every. single. day. She starts to visibly wilt when she's not around people. Thankfully, as the youngest of 4, there's usually enough action in our home to keep her happy.

 

On the other hand, I also have a hard core introvert. Sometimes I have to shut things down so he has a moment to regroup.

[Matryoshka]

When my kids were little, it was much easier to get socialization for all of us. I and two of my dds are extroverts. I have one introvert dd, but she's happy to come along for the ride. What used to be a good rhythm for us was to have things MWF and have TuTh at home. In later elementary I tried to keep mornings free for work, but we were out at least MWF after lunch. The years we had that rhythm were good years. There were years where we were out every day, but then I got exhausted.

 

In middle school it got much harder. My kids still had a big social get-together once a week, plus extracurriculars, but everything became drop-off and I got not socialization time, so I wasn't getting my batteries recharged. Even though we were still busy pretty much every day, they weren't seeing the same kids, and an individual kid wasn't necessarily out that much, just me as chauffeur. There are coops, but they don't really fit with what we're doing and are expensive.

[Lymeade Mom]

When my kids were little, it was much easier to get socialization for all of us. I and two of my dds are extroverts. I have one introvert dd, but she's happy to come along for the ride. What used to be a good rhythm for us was to have things MWF and have TuTh at home. In later elementary I tried to keep mornings free for work, but we were out at least MWF after lunch. The years we had that rhythm were good years. There were years where we were out every day, but then I got exhausted.

 

In middle school it got much harder. My kids still had a big social get-together once a week, plus extracurriculars, but everything became drop-off and I got not socialization time, so I wasn't getting my batteries recharged. Even though we were still busy pretty much every day, they weren't seeing the same kids, and an individual kid wasn't necessarily out that much, just me as chauffeur. There are coops, but they don't really fit with what we're doing and are expensive.

 

I understand this. Oldest is entering middle school and other is mid-elem.

 

Hadn't really thought about the changes, but I see more of it and it's a good point to consider.

[Lymeade Mom]

So what about this schedule:

 

Monday and Wed afternoon and Friday most of day.

 

One day would be primarily me teaching a class and my younger dd would participate and my older dd would be a teacher's helper for me, OR work independently on her schoolwork she brings. But this also includes a social free time with several of their friends they would really like. Btw, I really enjoy teaching and this would be a bit of income--maybe pay for housecleaning. :) So, I think it's a good deal.

 

Other days are coops--one formal with paid teachers and carrying some of the teaching load and gives me time to myself--this one is a given for our family. Other would be one or 2 other families I really like and informal--maybe only every other week.

 

Then Thursday and Tuesday late afternoon/evening extracurricular activities. It is a lot, but I scheduled the meat of our work in the morning this year and we have 2 afternoons to stay home and study and 2 days to go and do enrichment. (Actually my middle schooler will probably be bringing her schoolwork with her one day and my younger one doesn't need more study time--she's bright and zips thru work).

 

I know I'm rambling a bit--trying to make sense of it all. I can never seems to find the right balance of activity. Last year was too little. The year before too much.

[regentrude]

I am an extrovert and get stir crazy when I don't get out of the house, which is why I was very unhappy as an SAHM and am much happier since I have been working outside the house every day.

My DD is the same and needs to do something every day. It does not interfere with school because I insist that we start school in the morning at 8am and it gets done first thing, no outside activities until 2pm. DD is at the barn or in choir or with friends every afternoon and often a whole day during the weekend.

(Now she is doing dual enrollment and will have classes every day.)

DS, OTOH is introverted, and one weekly homeschool playgroup meeting is enough for him.

[shanvan]

I'm pretty sure I am an introvert, so too much time away from home starts to drive me crazy and will also cause a flare-up of my fibromyalgia. However, Ds needs extracurriculars to keep him focused on something and keep his mind and body healthy. He has some tendencies toward anxiety. Dd is extremely social. So, we end up doing a lot more than I would really like. Thankfully Dh does some of the driving so I don't have to be available for everything.

 

Both Dc participate in ....

 

Figure skating 2 days a week, one for lessons, one for practice. It demands very little of me. Rink is 5 minutes from my house and I can sit and plan lessons while they skate, so I can still be somewhat introverted :). They are doing it mostly for exercise and recreation, not achievement.

 

4H Dog Club 2 nights a month - Dh and I take turns on the driving. When they go to shows Dh does the driving and I will not sign them up unless he can do it. This is the area both kids are truly focused on and strive for achievement in.

 

Dog training Classes 1 evening a week. Dh takes them most of the time.

 

Piano- 1 day a week. Their teacher (high school junior who is very accomplished and inexpensive) comes to our house.

 

Dd participates in a sewing class at our library about every other week.

 

This fall Ds will have a Biology lab. Both will take a public speaking class once a week. These classes are 5 minutes from our house at our library.

 

Dd wants to get back to horseback riding, but I'm not sure if that will happen. Too $$$ and no time. She will have to choose b/t that and skating.

 

I have also found that the extracurriculars they are doing fuel the 'masterly inactivity' so that it doesn't devolve into lego building. Dd will sew in her free time, or may ask me to take her to the rink for some extra skating. They work on dog training and piano for fun at times too.

 

After typing this our schedule sounds crazy. Our school hours vary and often go beyond the usual hours. Much of what they do for 4H I include as part of their schooling. Dd writes articles for the county 4H newsletter and Ds does a lot of event planning and public speaking for his club.

 

Each of the activities meet a need that we think is important as part of their education. Ds occasionally complains about being too occupied, but if I cut down then he can get too wrapped up in his adolescent feelings. He is best kept occupied.

 

Forgot to add that skating is the only activity that happens during school hours b/c we get an enormous discount. It only takes about 1 hr from our day twice a week. Everything else is after regular school hours and Dh does most of the driving.

 

Edited July 10, 2012 by shanvan

[kroe1]

Yes, over scheduling is easy to do. We do school M-F until about 2 or 3p. Then the afternoons to evenings are spent in the extra-curricular activities. We get home most nights between 8 and 10p. I let DD do the scheduling, however. That way, if she's overloaded, she has no one to blame but herself. :lol: I do have to hire a driver when her schedule interferes with my work schedule. We just try to maintain some flexibility with each day and accept that we will always be a little overwhelmed and behind.

[fairfarmhand]

I would do every other day at home or schedule outside activities only for afternoons.

[Ellie]

Keep the co-op; only schedule other activities late in the afternoon or early evening.

 

Extrovert or not, y'all need to stay home to take care of all the other things that happen at home, like cleaning and cooking. :)

 

And I think it would help to *decide* that you need to be home more, and just do it. It could be that y'all are just so used to being out of the house that you don't want to stay home, but really and truly, if you worked at it, you might find that being home more often is really not that bad. :)

[Lymeade Mom]

Keep the co-op; only schedule other activities late in the afternoon or early evening.

 

Extrovert or not, y'all need to stay home to take care of all the other things that happen at home, like cleaning and cooking. :)

 

And I think it would help to *decide* that you need to be home more, and just do it. It could be that y'all are just so used to being out of the house that you don't want to stay home, but really and truly, if you worked at it, you might find that being home more often is really not that bad. :)

 

Actually last year was the year I did very little except the once a week co-op and an occasional park day. It drove us crazy and we didn't accomplish any more around the house. I found I was so drained by the end of the day that I had little energy to do housework. I have got to get some people time and friends for my sake and somewhere to go to give my girls a deadline for finishing. I can't seem to find the right balance though.

 

But I can't seem to figure out what all I need.

[Lymeade Mom]

Yes, over scheduling is easy to do. We do school M-F until about 2 or 3p. Then the afternoons to evenings are spent in the extra-curricular activities. We get home most nights between 8 and 10p. I let DD do the scheduling, however. That way, if she's overloaded, she has no one to blame but herself. :lol: I do have to hire a driver when her schedule interferes with my work schedule. We just try to maintain some flexibility with each day and accept that we will always be a little overwhelmed and behind.

 

I guess that makes sense if it's all afternoon! We did theater last year, so I can see looking at your signature how she can do a lot of hours.

[CourtneyBrooke]

This is interesting to me because I am an introvert. There's no doubt about that. I *hate* crowds and large groups of people; dislike parties and entertaining. I am emotionally and physically recharged being by myself (usually after the kids go to bed).

 

OTOH, I *love* going places with my family. I love going on field trips, on errands, to lessons, to activities.

 

I've never thought that having to get out of the house every day (which is ME) meant you were an extrovert. Perhaps it is what you DO when you leave the house?

[angela in ohio]

Actually last year was the year I did very little except the once a week co-op and an occasional park day. It drove us crazy and we didn't accomplish any more around the house. I found I was so drained by the end of the day that I had little energy to do housework. I have got to get some people time and friends for my sake and somewhere to go to give my girls a deadline for finishing. I can't seem to find the right balance though.

 

But I can't seem to figure out what all I need.

 

This is how it works for us, too. I bought into the "mother in the home" idol (not that it always is an idol, but it was in the way it was being preached to me) for a year or two, and we were miserable. My dc are pretty efficient with their work, and we have plenty of time for all their school work (more than most would consider a full load :D) and several outside activities. They still have down time to read and for "masterly inactivity" (one dd spends hours on robotics/eectronics projects, my ds has learned to tie flie and punch metal, etc.) Much of it is a lack of TV, video games, FB, etc. time, I think. Also, a large part *of their homeschooling* is in activities outside the home. They are learning a lot from robotics teams, art lessons, music performances, music groups, lessons, etc.

 

It is difficult, as a pp said, as they get older. I spend a lot of time alone or with one dc in the car. I've had to make that work to my advantage so that I feel good about it: I need more time to prepare for high school teaching anywa, I get one-on-one time with my teens who will be leaving home before I know it, etc.

[Lymeade Mom]

This is interesting to me because I am an introvert. There's no doubt about that. I *hate* crowds and large groups of people; dislike parties and entertaining. I am emotionally and physically recharged being by myself (usually after the kids go to bed).

 

OTOH, I *love* going places with my family. I love going on field trips, on errands, to lessons, to activities.

 

I've never thought that having to get out of the house every day (which is ME) meant you were an extrovert. Perhaps it is what you DO when you leave the house?

Interesting. Maybe b/c we need time out of the house AND need to be around groups of people to get energy, it's more of a need. Regardless, I just want to know how much for kids that NEED to get out as opposed to those that don't.

[Lymeade Mom]

I bought into the "mother in the home" idol (not that it always is an idol, but it was in the way it was being preached to me) for a year or two, and we were miserable.

 

This is a great way to describe how I feel. For me, I'm trying something that's failing and yet feeling like it's what I'm supposed to do. I did try 2 most-of-the-day co-ops (one was CC) and it was horrible. Mostly b/c CC was a horrible fit for us...early mornings leaving for the whole day by 8:45 in a rush and the curriculum itself just caused frustration and discouragement. So, we dropped that and all my friendships and have done very little beside the one co-op we have done for years. And we did an extracurricular on Saturdays in the fall. And in the spring we all sat around and wilted. :(

 

But I can't decide about my other options for the fall, especially since they are all somewhat vague at the moment.

[shanvan]

Also, a large part *of their homeschooling* is in activities outside the home. They are learning a lot from robotics teams, art lessons, music performances, music groups, lessons, etc.

 

Yes, this is how I look at the activities too.

 

Interesting. Maybe b/c we need time out of the house AND need to be around groups of people to get energy, it's more of a need. Regardless, I just want to know how much for kids that NEED to get out as opposed to those that don't.

 

An interesting spin on the idea of kids who 'need' to get out of the house. Ds will say he wants to be home more, but then if I do it, he isn't really happy without the activities. I think he needs a mix.

[justasque]

I understand this. Oldest is entering middle school and other is mid-elem.

 

Hadn't really thought about the changes, but I see more of it and it's a good point to consider.

 

At that age, or a bit older, many kids are starting to be serious about extracurriculars. I noticed quite a few neighborhood kids who were a bit at a loss at that age, when their peers weren't around for more casual activities anywhere near as much. We found that a good solution was 1) have kids in extras in late afternoon or early evening, and 2) to create a few special activities with friends from those activities, to "fill in" during less-busy times of the year (without having to fill up the schedule to an unmanageable level with weekly things). Just a few each year was enough to help build outside-of-class bonds, which paid off in inside-of-class interaction. (Well, not during class, but you know what I mean.) We went to the theater, held activity days at home, and so on.

[Lymeade Mom]

Yes, this is how I look at the activities too.

 

 

 

An interesting spin on the idea of kids who 'need' to get out of the house. Ds will say he wants to be home more, but then if I do it, he isn't really happy without the activities. I think he needs a mix.

I was also was talking to a friend with 5 kids and realize part of it is I have 2 kids. There is no crowd at my house. And the girls need both time with people and with OTHER people to lessen the tension of just having the 2 of them. Her extraverted kids don't need to get out as much.

Edited July 11, 2012 by Lymeade Mom

[shanvan]

I was also was talking to a friend with 5 kids and realize part of it is I have 2 kids. There is no crowd at my house. And the girls need both time with people and with OTHER people to lessen the tension of just having the 2 of them.

 

Ah, yes, sibling tension is definitely eased by getting out with others. You are making me feel better about our crazy schedule. :D

[Ellie]

Actually last year was the year I did very little except the once a week co-op and an occasional park day. It drove us crazy and we didn't accomplish any more around the house. I found I was so drained by the end of the day that I had little energy to do housework. I have got to get some people time and friends for my sake and somewhere to go to give my girls a deadline for finishing. I can't seem to find the right balance though.

 

But I can't seem to figure out what all I need.

Well (just thinking out loud here), that y'all seem to need someplace to go so your dc have a deadline to complete their assignments seems like more of a self-discipline issue than an extrovert issue, KWIM? Or a really-need-to-evaluate-what-kinds-of-things-you're-using issue.

 

I understand needing people time for yourself; must that be during the day, with your children? Is there not a class or something *you* could do in the evening when your dh is home with the dc?

[Lymeade Mom]

Glad to help! The poll sorta shocked me that some many people vote everyday. I was thinking maybe I shouldn't be out more than 3 days a week, but everyday is the most popular. Makes me feel less crazy about what I'm considering!

[shanvan]

Glad to help! The poll sorta shocked me that some many people vote everyday. I was thinking maybe I shouldn't be out more than 3 days a week, but everyday is the most popular. Makes me feel less crazy about what I'm considering!

 

Currently we are out almost every day, but we are kind of on summer break. This fall we will be out about 3 days a week for a little over an hour time b/c the classes/activities are very close to our home, otherwise I'd cut it back. However, we will have 4H, choir and piano in the evenings. Dog training classes could end up being in the day, but I'll make a big effort to keep them scheduled in the evenings too. Anyway....I voted 'other' even though we leave our house almost everyday currently.

[Lymeade Mom]

Well (just thinking out loud here), that y'all seem to need someplace to go so your dc have a deadline to complete their assignments seems like more of a self-discipline issue than an extrovert issue, KWIM? Or a really-need-to-evaluate-what-kinds-of-things-you're-using issue.

 

I understand needing people time for yourself; must that be during the day, with your children? Is there not a class or something *you* could do in the evening when your dh is home with the dc?

 

Definitely the getting out of the house helps motivate. I don't know of anything else that really does work well for my kids and that's not from lack of trying. Not say things didn't get done last year, but I had to expend too much of my energy which is already drained away from being home all day. When we are going somewhere, my oldest is telling me how long we have and trying to keep me on schedule. She likely has (undiagnosised) stealth dyslexia, dysgraphia, and ADD and I can't tell you how much work memorizing math facts was for her, so school is not going to be easy. I have found ways to take out much of the struggle, but her only learning love is reading. Anyway, if you have a better way to motivate kids, I'll definitely listen. However, if the work is getting done quicker we have more time for fun and the activities are in themselves enriching mentally and/or physically.

[MinivanMom]

We try to reserve one day a week as our stay-at-home day where we get a lot of schoolwork, housework, and laundry done. Last year it was Wednesday, but this year it will be Monday. We get out of the house the other 6 days of the week. I find that it's more important to build downtime into our daily routine rather than our weekly routine, so we have a two-hour naptime/silent reading time every afternoon and all the kids are in bed at a decent hour. We get up EARLY in the morning to make sure all our schoolwork is done by noon, so that we can have that daily naptime/reading time. I schedule our activities so that they don't interfere with bedtime (7 for little kids & 8 for big kids). That means I have downtime in the evening and can go out with friends if I want to or need to.

 

My oldest is my big extrovert. She needs to be out daily. This year she has:

Monday - free day (usually, but once a month she has a science class)

Tuesday - piano lesson and gymnastics

Wednesday - church activity group

Thursday - ballet and modern dance classes

Friday - homeschool park day

Saturday - soccer

Sunday - church & Sunday school

 

I also schedule playdates as needed.

[Mrs.Gregg]

I'm an extrovert. DD1 is an introvert and DD2 is an extrovert. Last year our week looked like this:

 

Monday: Home until 3:30pm. DD1 had running practice (GOTR) until 5pm

 

Tuesday: Home until Noon. DD2 had Gymnastics from 12:15-1:15, Home, Girl Scouts (homeschool troop) from 4-5p

 

Wednesday: Co-op/Workshops/ALE 11-3pm (both girls). Running from 3:30-5pm.

 

Thursdays: HOME!

 

Fridays: Every other Friday Home, Other Friday field trips with Dad/Library.

 

Saturday Family Stuff, Sunday Church.

 

 

This coming school year it looks something like this.

 

Mondays: 1-3p Science co-op (still working out times, small one with a few families)

Tuesday: Girl Scouts 4-5p

Wednesdays: 9-3p Co-op/workshops/ALE

Thursdays: 1-3p SOTW 1 Co-Op (small one with a few families).

 

Fridays HOME! or Lib, Field trips...

 

In the Mix is 8 weeks of Soccer in the fall and 8 weeks of soccer in the spring, Running is part of workshops this year, Gymnastics will be between soccer for the younger DD.

 

I'll be hopefully working 12-20 hours a week. It's going to be a busy year... hence why I am planning.

[Lymeade Mom]

I'm an extrovert. DD1 is an introvert and DD2 is an extrovert. Last year our week looked like this:

 

Monday: Home until 3:30pm. DD1 had running practice (GOTR) until 5pm

 

Tuesday: Home until Noon. DD2 had Gymnastics from 12:15-1:15, Home, Girl Scouts (homeschool troop) from 4-5p

 

Wednesday: Co-op/Workshops/ALE 11-3pm (both girls). Running from 3:30-5pm.

 

Thursdays: HOME!

 

Fridays: Every other Friday Home, Other Friday field trips with Dad/Library.

 

Saturday Family Stuff, Sunday Church.

 

 

This coming school year it looks something like this.

 

Mondays: 1-3p Science co-op (still working out times, small one with a few families)

Tuesday: Girl Scouts 4-5p

Wednesdays: 9-3p Co-op/workshops/ALE

Thursdays: 1-3p SOTW 1 Co-Op (small one with a few families).

 

Fridays HOME! or Lib, Field trips...

 

In the Mix is 8 weeks of Soccer in the fall and 8 weeks of soccer in the spring, Running is part of workshops this year, Gymnastics will be between soccer for the younger DD.

 

I'll be hopefully working 12-20 hours a week. It's going to be a busy year... hence why I am planning.

So how well did last year's schedule work?

[Mrs.Gregg]

Last year we did a lot of "do the next thing", I also planned by the month (it lasted 3mos). I really feel having a laid out plan of the year, by subject is giving me a much bigger picture of what we need/want to get done and can just 'run' with it.