Rubix Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 Hi everyone, this is my first thread, but I am here reading alot :) I homeschool my kindergartener and have gleaned alot of wisdom from the ladies and gentlemen here. As we are working through some issues in our marriage, I was challenged by the pastor that is providing counseling to try and complete the love dare book. I already had the book, and had given it a half-hearted try once before. I'm trying really hard to complete it this time. However, I am struggling with some of the challenges. It's not that I don't know how to be kind to my husband, but for some reason I can't come up with a darn way to "show" kindness to him, etc. Tomorrow I'm supposed to buy him something that lets me know I was thinking of him...and I haven't a clue. This wasn't always so hard! I'm wondering if anyone has done the book, and has some success stories? I'd especially love any thoughts related to the specific dares in the book, but really any ideas are appreciated and welcome! Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pfamilygal Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 Hi everyone, this is my first thread, but I am here reading alot :) I homeschool my kindergartener and have gleaned alot of wisdom from the ladies and gentlemen here. As we are working through some issues in our marriage, I was challenged by the pastor that is providing counseling to try and complete the love dare book. I already had the book, and had given it a half-hearted try once before. I'm trying really hard to complete it this time. However, I am struggling with some of the challenges. It's not that I don't know how to be kind to my husband, but for some reason I can't come up with a darn way to "show" kindness to him, etc. Tomorrow I'm supposed to buy him something that lets me know I was thinking of him...and I haven't a clue. This wasn't always so hard! I'm wondering if anyone has done the book, and has some success stories? I'd especially love any thoughts related to the specific dares in the book, but really any ideas are appreciated and welcome! Thanks! Lingerie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rubix Posted June 3, 2012 Author Share Posted June 3, 2012 Lol, that one I'll have to put off for a few days. Kids in the house all day and I work night shift...which makes this all so much harder! I have a whole list in that department I can work in when we're actually able to be in bed at the same time :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 A treat from his favorite bakery and his favorite coffee drink? Some music or a book he would like? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
readinmom Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 The purpose is not necessarily something he wants or needs, but shows that "you" were thinking of him... If you've watched "Fireproof" (movie that details the love dare) he failed the first time out on this dare. Is there something that you and he used to do before children? A place you used to go, dine, etc? A favorite movie? Buying just a small something that triggers that memory of when and why you first got together is very powerful. It's not the price, but the thought behind it. If he drinks coffee, maybe a new blend? A new travel mug? Some treats for his commute to work? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rubix Posted June 4, 2012 Author Share Posted June 4, 2012 Thanks everyone :) I have seen Fireproof, but it has been awhile. I'm working through a few ideas, I won't actually see him until Tuesday so I have a little time to pick something out. I know he'd love ammo or a new clip but I have NO idea what is the right kind to get, but it would mean alot to him if I showed an interest in his new hobby...shooting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
black_midori Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 Thanks everyone :) I have seen Fireproof, but it has been awhile. I'm working through a few ideas, I won't actually see him until Tuesday so I have a little time to pick something out. I know he'd love ammo or a new clip but I have NO idea what is the right kind to get, but it would mean alot to him if I showed an interest in his new hobby...shooting. Sounds perfect!! Don't buy something crazy expensive, since it is likely that what you buy won't be exactly what he wants - but the idea of buying him something special related to his hobby sounds just right to me! Just the knowledge that you are listening & aware & willing to go out on a limb has got to be beneficial. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ssavings Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 Thanks everyone :) I have seen Fireproof, but it has been awhile. I'm working through a few ideas, I won't actually see him until Tuesday so I have a little time to pick something out. I know he'd love ammo or a new clip but I have NO idea what is the right kind to get, but it would mean alot to him if I showed an interest in his new hobby...shooting. I think something related to a new hobby is perfect!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 My Dh loves dessert. For me to make a cake, pie, cookies once a week for Sunday dinner makes him the happiest man. When he's cranky and tired and cranky, coming home to a meal he enjoys (as opposed to me throwing something together because it was a rip roaring day) speaks volumes to him. So I try to be aware of his stress levels (observation is my attention to him!) and make sure that when the stress starts rising, I have something for him to eat he enjoys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rubix Posted June 4, 2012 Author Share Posted June 4, 2012 I'm working through this, too, and I decided I would take as many days as I needed to work through each day. I was having a REALLY hard time with buying dh something, because he doesn't buy himself things, and he usually wants NOTHING! So, I prayed, "God, please show me what I can buy him that will show him I'm thinking of him."Well, one of his co-workers (who dh had also taught/coached a few years ago) passed away a couple of weeks ago. That person coached the basketball team and the team won the championship. The other day, I had to take dh his wallet to work, and when I walked in the office, the t-shirt about the championship win with all the team members' names on it was hanging there. AND I just happened (thanks to God!) to have the cash on me! So, I bought it for him. I just had to open my heard, ears, and eyes and wait. Wow, what a cool story! That must have meant a lot to him. I think it will be important to remember that just because it says to do something on day x, that the perfect opportunity might take a little more patience. ETA: Also, because of our family schedule there are days I won't see him for enough time to really feel like I've completed what I need to. I don't want to check something off when I didn't really have the time to work on my heart. So I will likely take a few days for some of the challenges as well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 Sounds perfect!! Don't buy something crazy expensive, since it is likely that what you buy won't be exactly what he wants - but the idea of buying him something special related to his hobby sounds just right to me! Just the knowledge that you are listening & aware & willing to go out on a limb has got to be beneficial. And it's perfectly ok to go into a shop and say to the guy behind the desk "Hi, I don't know anything about this stuff but I need a thing that is kind of like, um..." Btdt, felt silly but oh well. :tongue_smilie: Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 As we are working through some issues in our marriage, I was challenged by the pastor that is providing counseling to try and complete the love dare book. ! Is your Pastor trained in marriage counseling? Licensed? I'm not a fan of the movie or the book. The fact that you are willing to improve your marriage and try "something" is a very good sign that things will be ok. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 I'd do something simple, like a favorite food, candy bar, CD, book, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rubix Posted June 4, 2012 Author Share Posted June 4, 2012 The pastor is trained in counseling, yes. Licensed, not sure, didn't ask. We do love each other very much, we just forgot that for awhile. I think things will be okay too, thanks, just a road that may be long getting out of the bad habits we've gotten into. I found something for him - a favorite treat that isn't available in stores around us anymore, and is even hard to find on the internet. I found a store with a small quantity left online and ordered them :) He will be surprised, as this was a special thing that he was disappointed he couldn't get anymore. I'm also planning on investing more time into his hobby - he wants to teach me to shoot. So, I'm going to try to work up an interest :D Maybe I'll like it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelli Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 Thanks everyone :) I have seen Fireproof, but it has been awhile. I'm working through a few ideas, I won't actually see him until Tuesday so I have a little time to pick something out. I know he'd love ammo or a new clip but I have NO idea what is the right kind to get, but it would mean alot to him if I showed an interest in his new hobby...shooting. My dh is sitting on the couch next to me and said he would help you figure it out. Shooting and guns are his hobbies as well. Dh asked, Do you know what kind of gun he has? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rubix Posted June 4, 2012 Author Share Posted June 4, 2012 Well, he has a 9mm, a 22 and a 45. He wants new clips for the 45. He said the 45 is a 1911, but I'm not sure the manufacturer. That's about how useful I am :) That would be a great surprise if I can figure it out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rubix Posted June 4, 2012 Author Share Posted June 4, 2012 Oh, and I saw the clips and they are single stacked. He said they also make them to hold more but the gun is bigger, that's not the one he has. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelli Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 Well, he has a 9mm, a 22 and a 45. He wants new clips for the 45. He said the 45 is a 1911, but I'm not sure the manufacturer. That's about how useful I am :) That would be a great surprise if I can figure it out! My dh said the clips for the 45 would cost at $30 or more a piece. You need to try and find out the brand, then go in any local gun shop and they should be able to help you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rubix Posted June 4, 2012 Author Share Posted June 4, 2012 That sounds right, he said they were around $30 and he was saving up. I think he'd found them cheaper online somewhere, I'll have to do some digging once I find out the brand. I just can't remember, but I can pull it out of the safe tomorrow. Thanks to you & your dh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 Good Luck to you! Coincidentally I was out shooting yesterday w/ dh. It is not something that thrills me but he seemed to be excited about me doing it with him and kept encouraging me. Perhaps just asking for him to teach you how would go a long way. Around here we can shoot outside, so it is quite easy and free. Dh has a .22 pistol, that is what I shot yesterday and a .45 1911 as well. Dh's is Springfield Armory, he loves that gun. Another thing to consider is a nice holster as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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