SKL Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 (edited) I could see why it would be relevant to state that your 2nd-grade kid is reading at the 5th grade level. See, that means he can read all his textbooks and take that much more initiative with his education than a typical 2nd grader. My KG kids are instructed (by me) to do their homework at afterschool care, even when their teacher says "you'll need your parents' help." I've told them Youngest is to read the small print aloud, then they both can discuss and agree on how to complete the page. So yeah, it makes a difference that Youngest can read (with understanding) far more than the typical KG child. If I were homeschooling her, she could be completely independent with workbooks and such, and her range of reading could make formal science and ss lessons unnecessary. But if someone asked me about it, I might feel like I needed to justify being so hands-off. I say, if someone can't handle hearing things like this, they should not ask about it. And if the individual who asked the question can handle the answer, then why should anyone else care about it? I agree with the poster who said we could benefit from considering the origin of our defensiveness. Because defensiveness is often behind both the alleged "bragging" and the reaction thereto. (And honestly, I've been guilty of both.) As for not being allowed to discuss accelerated academics on this board, I think it depends on the context. I've generally held back when the poster is looking for help with a struggling child. My saying "my kid did that while yours was still in diapers" probably isn't helpful, although if I have a technique I think might work, I'll share it. On the other hand, once I asked folks to give me a range of where their kids were on something, and I got a response: "I'm not going to answer you because you said my kid was advanced." No really, I wanted a range, not a skewed curve to make me feel complacent. I can take it. Edited May 7, 2012 by SKL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitten18 Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 Really? This thread has been tagged as Rooting against smart kids? I can't believe how defensive this thread had become. Clearly, it's touching a lot of hot spots that so many are defending the random mom that was talking about her kid. The OP took it as 'bragging'. People piled on top of her/him and accused her/him of being jealous or seeing it as competition. You know what? I don't know the situation is either. But if people are walking away from someone thinking they are vain, arrogant, or a braggart, maybe it's time to check and assess what you sound like to others. :iagree: Since the OP was actually PRESENT at the game, I'm going to assume that this woman was in fact being obnoxious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 It drives me crazy that apparently academics aren't allowed to be celebrated beyond "My kid made the honor roll". One of my friends just got her DD8's standardized test scores back, and discovered that her child, who is constantly being marked down or missing recess and having work sent home because she rarely finishes it, ended up with a 6th grade GLE across the board. She posted on her FB that she was wondering what she should do, because obviously something isn't working for this child-she can't be on a 6th grade level and still struggle to get 2nd grade work done, right? She got jumped on for "bragging" and told that "standardized tests don't mean much" and "Lots of people have smart kids". I don't believe for a second she was trying to brag-I believe she is honestly wondering what this means for her child and what she should do. I don't talk much about DD's specific academic levels and achievements IRL (if anything, I'm more likely to talk about her sensory issues than her reading level), but I've noticed other parents often use the fact that DD is so far ahead as an explanation as to WHY they don't HS. I sometimes find myself being quizzed as to what grade she's in and what she's doing, and the idea seems to be to relieve their guilt-that DD is somehow so different from other kids that she NEEDS to be homeschooled, but normal kids don't. I find myself, especially when we're at dance or gymnastics, wishing at times DD would just SHUT up about the specifics and say "I did a spelling pre-test and some math" when asked "And what did you do at school today?" as opposed to saying "I learned to factor polynomials, and they're SO much fun!" or "I learned the fifth declension in Latin!". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitten18 Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 I have felt the same way. I replied to a question about what first graders were reading and was basically told to stay pit of it because my son was advanced. I habe had one first grader, I can only answer what my experience is. I was not bragging, just answering a question and I offeneded someone. Or many someones. I do have to justify my homeschooling to some family hecause they are against it. I get ised to answering that way and so sometimes I do of with everyone, I am not bragging, just stating abfct. The question in the thread (I remembered it so I went back and found it) was not "what is your 1st grader reading?", it was "what exactly is reading "on grade level" for a 1st grader?". As pointed out in that thread, those are two very different things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beaners Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 On the other hand, once I asked folks to give me a range of where their kids were on something, and I got a response: "I'm not going to answer you because you said my kid was advanced." No really, I wanted a range, not a skewed curve to make me feel complacent. I can take it. I think that was me. :001_smile: I looked up the thread and I was under the impression that you were more interested in advice on whether your daughter was progressing at a rate that should cause concern. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 Really? That is incredibly rude. Worse than if the woman was bragging in my opinion. There are kids who are that advanced, and more. That response just makes a person sound jealous of a kids abilities. Pride and jealousy are equally bad attributes if you ask me. :iagree: Why would anyone assume that the child couldn't comprehend what he was reading? :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 I say, if someone can't handle hearing things like this, they should not ask about it. And if the individual who asked the question can handle the answer, then why should anyone else care about it? :iagree: And in this particular case, the OP wasn't even involved in the conversation; she was eavesdropping. So apparently, saying something positive about your child is unacceptable, but eavesdropping on other people's conversations is a perfectly fine thing to do... :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 :iagree: Since the OP was actually PRESENT at the game, I'm going to assume that this woman was in fact being obnoxious. But we also need to remember that the OP wasn't a part of the conversation, and neither the question nor the woman's comment about her child were in any way directed toward her, so I simply don't understand why she should be upset about a conversation she shouldn't have been listening in on, anyway. If she'd overheard the woman loudly saying that her kid was far better and more intelligent than the OP's child, I could understand why she might have been upset by it, but in this case, it wasn't about her and it wasn't about her child. Who really cares about whether or not some kid you hardly know is advanced, and how does that pertain to your own children or your own ability to homeschool them? There is such a thing as being overly sensitive, and I think this situation illustrates it very well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 This thread has been an eye-opener. Now I wish I could just get my eyes to stop doing this ... :blink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamajag Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 So apparently, saying something positive about your child is unacceptable, but eavesdropping on other people's conversations is a perfectly fine thing to do... :tongue_smilie: I am so glad someone else pointed this out. I've been trying not to say it. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 This thread has been an eye-opener. Now I wish I could just get my eyes to stop doing this ... :blink: Not for anything, but if you keep making that face and someone slaps you on the back, you'll stay that way forever. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 I am so glad someone else pointed this out. I've been trying not to say it. ;) :iagree: *Heading back into my hole now.* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 I am so glad someone else pointed this out. I've been trying not to say it. ;) I was trying not to say it, either, but it just slipped out. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 I was trying not to say it, either, but it just slipped out. :tongue_smilie: Hey, don't brag about it! :auto: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 Not for anything, but if you keep making that face and someone slaps you on the back, you'll stay that way forever. :D :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 Hey, don't brag about it! :auto: :D :D :D :D Oops. You caught me! :leaving: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca VA Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 Who said the OP was purposely eavesdropping? Maybe the bragger was sitting next to her, talking loudly, and she couldn't get away. I imagine the OP could have done some bragging of her own, if she'd been inclined to do so. Did you notice that she has a child who has been admitted to Dartmouth? Another child is in engineering school? If anyone on this thread has a reason to roll her eyes, it's this lady. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SorrelZG Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 Anyway, I think this is a separate issue from the OP. The poor woman was probably cornered about homeschooling and trying to defend herself. I wish I was the kind of person who could always say what would make every person listening in happy, but I know I have said some very, very awkward things under attention like that for a different choice, be it homeschooling or something else. I'm sort of jealous of people who have never struggled with saying the wrong thing or over-sharing and can't relate. I believe this is more the issue than eavesdropping. You really can't help but to overhear some things but it is unfortunate how great the tendency is to so quickly believe an unfavorable interpretation or report of someone based on so little. Personally, I'm not going to accuse her of ill conduct based upon what a third party overheard. We all ought to know from personal experience that our perception of things and other people can just as often be more about us than about what is really going on outside of us. The woman may well have been bragging but there is no justification for going there based on the interpretation of someone I don't even know but I know from personal experience on both ends that there are plenty of reasons to take such interpretations with a grain of salt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamajag Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 (edited) Who said the OP was purposely eavesdropping? Maybe the bragger was sitting next to her, talking loudly, and she couldn't get away. Because usually they strap you down at sports events so you can't get away? It seems to me that she was paying awfully close attention for some time and then felt the need to vent her negativity on a board where the person in question would not be able to tell her side. I imagine the OP could have done some bragging of her own, if she'd been inclined to do so. Did you notice that she has a child who has been admitted to Dartmouth? Another child is in engineering school? If anyone on this thread has a reason to roll her eyes, it's this lady. But when I point out that other homeschool parents have children at Harvard, she'll look like a fool according to your previous posts. Edited May 8, 2012 by mamajag quote malfunction Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Praise101 Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 I don't think you should worry what anyone thinks. If you honestly feel the best thing to do is home school, then that is what matters. The problem with today's world is they care way to much what their friends think. I personally don't think home school is a good choice for my kids, and they have shown me I have made the right decision. Its up to you to decide yours. Just don't let fear be a factor. Lead, teach the word, and guide by example and trust in your kids to make right choices in life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 (edited) I imagine the OP could have done some bragging of her own, if she'd been inclined to do so. Did you notice that she has a child who has been admitted to Dartmouth? Another child is in engineering school? If anyone on this thread has a reason to roll her eyes, it's this lady. Well, if she has that info in her signature for everyone to see, couldn't some other mom get upset because her kid didn't get into Dartmouth or engineering school? :tongue_smilie: I guess it only counts as bragging if you say it out loud where an eavesdropping stranger can hear you. ;) (FWIW, I think it's perfectly fine that she's proud of her kids and has taken the time to mention more about them in her sig line, but then again, I'm not the one who got upset because someone said their child was reading above grade level. I just see a certain irony in getting upset about someone "bragging" when the OP is seemingly doing exactly the same thing in her sig line -- only she's not only telling a few friends about it at a sporting event; she's telling thousands of us, every time she posts.) Edited May 8, 2012 by Catwoman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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