Afterschooling taking away play time ...

[mathnerd]

My DS is very bright and I feel that he is very bored with regular school work. He actually asked for afterschooling as he wanted mom to "help him get smarter". So, starting from October of last year, we have afterschooled where I accelerate him in math and reading and sometimes light history and geography too (or just art if he feels like it). He practices piano for 30 minutes and then he works with me for an hour for academics or art every evening. We go to Tae Kwon Do classes thrice a week and swimming, gymnastics and soccer one day each. But, that is all the afterschool play time he gets (all these activities are with coaches in groups and not unstructured with friends). Though he thoroughly enjoys his time afterschooling with me, a part of me feels guilty when looking at neighborhood boys shooting hoops in the front yard with friends or skateboarding or biking in the sidewalks. We really do not have time for those things if we were to afterschool. And playdates are non-existent as I work full time.

So, my question is, does afterschooling cut out the "play" in a young child's life? Or does everyone else manage the play-afterschool balance in a better way than me?

Edited May 1, 2012 by ashleysf

[aggieamy]

I know what you mean. We choose to afterschool only math and reading at this point and DD is doing very well in school. You said that you work full time? Does that mean that your son is in afterschool care and then you get home at 5:30?

 

DH and I both work from home so when DD gets home we do 25 minutes of math and then she reads for awhile. Sometimes 25 minutes, sometimes an hour depending on how good her book is. :) We try to be done by 4:30 at the latest so there's plenty of time for fun stuff afterwards and family activities. We have also made a choice to limit her outside activities to two - scouts and tennis lessons. Scouts is a few hours every other week and tennis is twice a week for an hour for a month. DH and I both like to encourage unstructured play.

 

In your situation, if you are getting home later, can you do the afterschooling before school? Drop some of the outside activities? I wouldn't consider art projects afterschooling anyway because that's just fun.

[aly9712]

Your little one sounds busy with other activities, I would say this has become his "play" substitute. I'm guessing you'll have to make some hard choices. Perhaps he could do more structured activities during the summer months and cut down during the week. Any chance you can move some of them to Saturdays? (I'm assuming they are afterschool during the week).

 

We also use the mornings, but it is tough to fit it all in. We also limit to 1 activity (gymnastics) and every once and a while we'll sign up for short writing workshops or science things at the center.

[mathnerd]

Thanks for the replies. Yes, my DS goes to afterschool care and comes home later. We are thinking of dropping both Gymnastics and Soccer this year (they are carryovers from his toddler years). I have overscheduled DS and I know it :( But, he really loves going to those activities and he has bonded with his coaches and always gets upset when I suggest that he drops some of them. Which is why we never end them. I tried doing activities on weekends and that is even worse as we are unable make a long trip, attend birthday parties or go on a field trip on the weekends because of the activities. Which is why all his activities are clustered on the week days.

I will try to figure out how to make my family early birds so that we can get some "before schooling" done :)

[SKL]

I have a similar dilemma since I am afterschooling two girls who are on different levels. I pick them up at 6:30pm and their realistic bedtime averages about 9pm.

 

We do not practice music every day, but rather 3-4 days per week (twice on Sundays if necessary). I encourage the girls to do some of their practice in the mornings if they have time. I require them to do their homework during after-school care so we don't have to spend time on that in the evenings. I plan for M-Th dinners to be as quick as possible, and they sometimes eat in the car to save time.

 

Besides that, because my kids are at different levels, I let one play while I work with the other. I usually spend about 20-30 minutes on music (if we do any) and about the same amount on reading for each child. Rather than do a large volume, I usually shoot for more challenge within a shorter period of time, if that makes any sense. Then I throw in a little math, geography, and foreign languages in small amounts here and there, sometimes while driving or eating. And I'll often choose something educational for "bedime reading" to them. When we go to the museum, I let them play outside on the grounds for a while, then I give them some sort of instruction for maybe 10-15 minutes, and then they get to mess around in the "please touch" sections.

 

Most days, the kids are left with about .5-1 hour of free play together, which, coupled with after-school care (which is mostly free play), seems to be enough. Sometimes my youngest will set her alarm to get up early and play with her castle if she's feeling play-deprived.;) On the other hand, sometimes the kids will use their free time on reading / writing / music.

[ClassicalTwins]

Mine are homeschooled, but we get the same complaint as they have lots of activites in the evening, one is a gymnast so 2 or 3 nights/wk are at the gym, the other does soccer & guitar so there are another 2 nights/wk plus Saturday games and the gymnast has practice.

 

They get tired of having to stop playing or never getting to start due to activites...but when asked, they don't want to give them up. :001_huh:

[ApronMama]

Free play is an important part of learning. Some seasons our family eases up on afterschooling so that the kids can participate in the activities they want and have time to be kids. This is especially true if we are working ahead of the class. If they are behind in something and need to work at home, that comes first.

[HeidiKC]

I think an hour of afterschooling for a 5yo (and a busy one!) is a lot. I planned to do some afterschooling with my 2nd grader, but I have mostly given up (not that I recommend that!!!) because I feel so bad having him miss playtime with all the neighbors. I feel that is very important - probably more important that extra academics.

 

I think I'd try to keep it at 15-20 minutes daily for that age, especially considering all his activities. And you could even do some of in the car or maybe at breakfast (if it doesn't slow him down) if it's something you can do verbally, such as spelling, phonics, or math problems. My kids learned multiplication in the car! My two youngest always ask me to give them math problems when we're driving. You could also get STOW in audiobook and either listen to that during breakfast, in the car or at bedtime.

[Alessandra]

An extra hour of work sounds like a lot for a 5 year old, IMO. I might think about changing the format of what you do to make it less 'schooly.' For example, do math activities -- board games, dice games, Family Math games, etc -- instead of workbooks every day. Include fun read alouds at bedtime for history. Use your time in the car for some audio books.

 

Looking back, I realize that there a lot of things we never got to, but I don't regret letting my children play, have some down time. I counted playing with friends, imaginative play, art/projects (however messy) as a plus. I think your outside activities sound fine -- I would just try to get away from so many workbooks.

[jenbrdsly]

These are our family's priorities afterschool:

1) Homework

2) Playtime

3) Afterschooling

4) Screen time

[La Texican]

If you haven't seen bedtime math yet they have a great philosophy that just a little math exposure every day will make math as unalien as reading and better yet they have an email service that sends you a new word problem every day. I try to word it in a way my son understands the question and at the same time introduce a phrase or style of wording often used in math problems. Some he gets, some he doesn't. No pressure. If he doesn't answer fast enough someone else does and I just assume he's learning every time. :)

http://bedtimemathproblem.org/

 

He's started making up his own word problems. Some make sense, some don't. The ones that don't I sometimes say, "I don't know because (whatever info's missing) and sometimes I make a silly answer.

 

Eta: I hope that doesn't sound off topic. I was thinking it was a quick and easy way to throw in some after schooling and it's pre-made.

Edited May 2, 2012 by La Texican

[Lecka]

I think it depends what his after-school care is.

 

My son's school's after-school care is unstructured. I see *zero* problem with kids who have unstructured play for 2 hours getting picked up at 6:00 and going to a structured activity every night, if the kids want to.

 

It can still be unstructured even if it is not outside in the neighborhood. Unstructured in the school gym or playground, or playing cards and board games in the cafeteria, counts as unstructured, child-led play in my book.

 

It is not what we do -- but that is what I see. It is down time and time for kids to spend with friends.

 

I don't think it is any different from kids who do a lesson as soon as school is over and then have their unstructured time later in the evening.

 

Some of the neighborhood kids may *not* have had any unstructured time prior to after supper, if they had lessons and practice after school, or they may have a higher need for unstructured time -- some kids do.

 

But to say -- unstructured time only counts if it is some certain kind, I don't think is true.

 

But different if the after-school care is very structured -- then I would make it more of a priority to have some down time.

 

I do *totally* think that after-school care is *completely* equivalent to playdates for kids who are not in after-school care. At my son's school, at least.

Edited May 3, 2012 by Lecka

[jenbrdsly]

I think it depends what his after-school care is.

 

I do *totally* think that after-school care is *completely* equivalent to playdates for kids who are not in after-school care. At my son's school, at least.

 

 

Except you don't have to worry about the other kids spilling grape juice on your carpet and your two year old not sharing her toys. :tongue_smilie:

[ebunny]

In my humble opinion, Some kids have the energy and stamina to handle back to back activities. In fact, they thrive on it. From your post, it seems like your DS enjoys all of his extra curricular classes and academic afterschooling. He sounds like a highly motivated child. My suggestion is to let him pursue his interests...when he cannot handle the juggling, he will let you know.

 

Just my 2 cents.

[mathnerd]

Thanks a lot for all the thoughtful responses. You made me re-examine my attitude - my son's afterschool care is part academic (30 mins) and then mostly unstructured. During the unstructured time, the teachers might read books to all kids or play scrabble or be outside in the sandpit or play structure or do impromptu yoga or soccer or painting - but they are doing things as a group and playing together. And, now that I think about it, yes, this can be considered as an equivalent of playdates or unstructured playtime as he is doing it with his friends from school.

Right now, my kid has stamina and motivation and my initial thought was to make use of it while I can because the teen years might prove different!

Thanks also for the tip on Bedtime math. That is very easy to implement. I also like the "Verbal Math" book that I bought from a suggestion on another thread and I am going to implement it on our car rides rather than go heavy on workbooks as someone mentioned above.

Edited May 3, 2012 by ashleysf

[Julie in MN]

My son's school's after-school care is unstructured. I see *zero* problem with kids who have unstructured play for 2 hours getting picked up at 6:00 and going to a structured activity every night, if the kids want to.

 

:iagree:

 

His free time is apparently at the after-school care. Not too many little ones have play dates as late as after dinner. If you bring him home at 5:30, and he has dinner, really there's only some evening time left with family, rather than playing with other kids. So if he enjoys your afterschooling as family time, I don't see he's missing out on anything.

 

Julie, who's over here reading up on afterschooling a K grandson next fall :)