Rose in BC Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 I have posted before that I have a RAD child. Turns out he has FASD too along with one of my other children. Only found that out a month ago after getting their records under freedom of information (they're adopted). I cannot begin to tell you the things we've experienced since January. You wouldn't believe it. Anyway this past week as been extremely difficult. I am physically exhausted and emotionally spent. I think that this last incident has been resolved but I'm just holding my breath for the next. it seems they play tag-team . . one is reasonably good, then the other extremely challenging and vice-versa. Never a break (I guess it could be worse . . . they both act out at the same time.) On the one hand we're making some progress, on the other some days i feel hopeless. Can I just ask for prayer for peace in our home tonight and a good night's rest? And strength for tomorrow. Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in VA Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 :grouphug:Rose:grouphug: I will be praying for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 :grouphug: Gentle Rose, these things too shall pass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 You've got it. Praying for you. While it's not the same thing by any means but maybe a little encouragement; I recently asked for prayer for rest and stamina during Easter weekend. I had the best Easter ever. And no migraine later or anything. While I was being astounded I remembered that I was prayed over during the Good Friday service. I will certainly keep you in my prayers. It sounds rough your way. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose in BC Posted April 16, 2012 Author Share Posted April 16, 2012 Thank you. I know this will pass. I also know some of what's happening can be construed as normal teenage behaviour but . . . when you're tired, and I am tired, its hard to see the trees for the forest (okay not sure if that's the right phrase :)). I think i will take a bath, drink some tea and read a book. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpecialClassical Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 I will pray for your peace and for sleep. I understand how very much you need it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose in BC Posted April 16, 2012 Author Share Posted April 16, 2012 Thank you. You know that poll about crying . . . I am not a big crier by nature . . .this weekend man oh man have I cried. I'm sure that's contributing to my fatigue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose in BC Posted April 16, 2012 Author Share Posted April 16, 2012 That's why I'm asking. I know it works. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose in BC Posted April 16, 2012 Author Share Posted April 16, 2012 :grouphug:Rose:grouphug: I will be praying for you. Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 While none (as far as I know) have RAD, all of Wolf's sibs, except for the youngest (including Wolf) are all affected w/FASD. His youngest bro, who was supposedly never supposed to live independantly not only does, but has created a successful career out of giving lectures about FASD. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose in BC Posted April 16, 2012 Author Share Posted April 16, 2012 While none (as far as I know) have RAD, all of Wolf's sibs, except for the youngest (including Wolf) are all affected w/FASD. His youngest bro, who was supposedly never supposed to live independantly not only does, but has created a successful career out of giving lectures about FASD. :grouphug: Thank you for this. This is encouraging. (btw, as for the RAD, according to the psychologist we're dealing with we've done a lot of things, inadvertently, right and it isn't our biggest issue anymore. What I was attributing to RAD are typical FASD symptoms.) I do believe both my boys, if we survive the teenage years, will be able to have a life apart from us. According to the dr, the next couple of years will be hell as we deal with teenage hormones coupled with FASD. After about 18, when the brain undergoes another significant development, we may see some difference. Its good to hear real life success stories :). Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 I'm sorry that it has been so tough, Rose. Praying. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StaceyinLA Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 And :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 Rose, how could I have missed that you have TWO with RAD and/or FASD? :svengo: i have always read that RAD siblings feed off of each other. I have not researched FASD. I can't imagine how difficult your life must be at times!!! If you cry, so what. It cleanses. I have had a difficult time with dd this year, too. I have no idea why she has a bug up her butt. Her typical times to regress are Christmas, notorious RAD struggles there, and summer or fall. This year has been different. I wonder what is up with our kids? :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I am so sorry. Feel free to PM me anytime. My RAD has outdone herself lately. Cry? Undoubtedly.of course never around her. Do you know that it is SO important your kids never know you are upset by what they do? This ismhard but imperative!!! It will pass. It always does. That doesn't help in the moment.:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 Thank you for this. This is encouraging. (btw, as for the RAD, according to the psychologist we're dealing with we've done a lot of things, inadvertently, right and it isn't our biggest issue anymore. What I was attributing to RAD are typical FASD symptoms.) I do believe both my boys, if we survive the teenage years, will be able to have a life apart from us. According to the dr, the next couple of years will be hell as we deal with teenage hormones coupled with FASD. After about 18, when the brain undergoes another significant development, we may see some difference. Its good to hear real life success stories :). Thanks. Can you please share what you did right, either here or in a PM? ;). I just want to make sure I have also done it. I have been reading a new book by a RAD therapist I HIGHLY respect. I was surprised to see the things I also did right, things which were not done with my bio kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose in BC Posted April 16, 2012 Author Share Posted April 16, 2012 Rose, how could I have missed that you have TWO with RAD and/or FASD? :svengo: i have always read that RAD siblings feed off of each other. I have not researched FASD. I can't imagine how difficult your life must be at times!!! If you cry, so what. It cleanses. I have had a difficult time with dd this year, too. I have no idea why she has a bug up her butt. Her typical times to regress are Christmas, notorious RAD struggles there, and summer or fall. This year has been different. I wonder what is up with our kids? :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I am so sorry. Feel free to PM me anytime. My RAD has outdone herself lately. Cry? Undoubtedly.of course never around her. Do you know that it is SO important your kids never know you are upset by what they do? This ismhard but imperative!!! It will pass. It always does. That doesn't help in the moment.:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I don't have huge RAD issues with eldest son (he has a different personality) although the two always do feed off each other. In the past when I've talked I've talked about my youngest who has been a serious struggle for us since day one. We knew our eldest was NAS but not FASD although I suspected it. He just has a different personality (although this past year has been challenging for us). My youngest . . . I can't communicate at all with him most days (okay, some days are better than others but those are few and far between). I never considered FASD for him because there were no references to drugs and alchol. but when I got their files it clearly states birthmom drank and did drugs. The phys. said homeschooling them in their early years (they came to us at 4) probably helped although she said in their teen years school is impossible no matter what way we choose. . . yeah do I know that :).) And honestly Denise, she also said, sometimes it doesn't matter what you do . . .the outcome would be the same. I'll try and remember what else she said and let you know. From what I've read in your posts, i think you're doing an amazing job with an extremely difficult job (that no one understands if you don't have that kind of a child). What book are you reading? Your advice in the past has been tremendously helpful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 Prayers for you... and for some calm peace!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 Thank you for this. This is encouraging. (btw, as for the RAD, according to the psychologist we're dealing with we've done a lot of things, inadvertently, right and it isn't our biggest issue anymore. What I was attributing to RAD are typical FASD symptoms.) I do believe both my boys, if we survive the teenage years, will be able to have a life apart from us. According to the dr, the next couple of years will be hell as we deal with teenage hormones coupled with FASD. After about 18, when the brain undergoes another significant development, we may see some difference. Its good to hear real life success stories :). Thanks. That's why I shared. To let you know that kids w/FASD can have successful futures. Granted, b/c it's a spectrum, I realize that not everyone is affected by it the same way. The brother I mentioned wasn't even supposed to survive long after being born. He keeps proving ppl wrong ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose in BC Posted April 16, 2012 Author Share Posted April 16, 2012 That's why I shared. To let you know that kids w/FASD can have successful futures. Granted, b/c it's a spectrum, I realize that not everyone is affected by it the same way. The brother I mentioned wasn't even supposed to survive long after being born. He keeps proving ppl wrong ;) It indeed is on a spectrum . . .it looks different in both boys. My eldest, the source of my crying this weekend, is a lovely boy with impulsive behaviour that results in poor decisions. He's almost 16 and we have made progress and the trouble he gets in, so far, has been manageable although sometimes painful. Both boys are having significant troubles in school this year but I'm working on trying to get some accommodation for this newly found special needs. Parenting is not for the faint-hearted. parenting special needs . . . every day I pray for grace and strength. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peaceful Isle Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 :grouphug: and prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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