Harriet Vane Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 (edited) UPDATE: Dd does not have mono. She does have pneumonia, poor thing. Okay, folks, this is getting ridiculous. In the last two weeks, and most especially, the last several days, we have dealt with the following: Broken nose, 8 days of high fever and no sleep to speak of, orthodontic emergency, and an emergency root canal. Two weeks ago ds broke his nose. This meant cancelling soccer, thereby quadrupling the horror of the event. Dd had a HIGH fever for eight straight days. While much better, she is STILL quite sick. I am taking her in for a mono test this afternoon. This past Friday ds' lower space maintainer broke. The ortho's office was closed, but they were persuaded to open up to get the flapping hardware out of ds' mouth. I was supposed to host Easter but had to cancel. I prepared the feast and sent it to mil's house. Sick dd and I stayed home and watched LOTR. Yesterday ds collapsed to the floor, squealing and clutching his face, numerous times. We have known for two years that the nerves in his broken front teeth would need a root canal, but expected a progression of symptoms. Nope. Ds went from status quo (mild temperature sensitivity) to screaming in pain in ONE DAY. The endo's office did not return my calls. When someone finally picked up the phone, HOURS after they opened, they grudgingly told me to bring ds in RIGHT AWAY or the endo wouldn't be available for a week. Had to schlepp sick dd to her grandmother's house immediately--thank God for my darling mil. The drama was heightened by the fact that, despite his prior specific agreement with me to allow me in the room if ds requested my presence, the endo decreed that there was NO WAY he would allow me in the room. This after we had specifically talked this issue through and ds' pediatric dentist had assured the endo that I wouldn't talk to him or bother him, would just sit at ds' feet holding his leg for comfort and reading a book. Ds has had zillions of invasive procedures due to various health issues as well as various accidents over the years (boys!)--he is quite stoic about it and often elects to do things on his own, but sometimes when in pain or scared does want me to be there with him. The endo decided that he could renege on our agreement because ds "seems fine" to him. I was furious that he would renege in an emergency situation, when my son was in pain. I had no options. Ds wanted me with him, but wanted his mouth to stop hurting so badly, and decided to go ahead anyway. And yes, he was fine--he's a great kid!--but I was still SO ANGRY at the change to our agreement and at the fact that my son wanted the comfort of my presence and was denied this very, very arbitrarily (before we even arrived at the office). Also angry because the receptionist was REALLY AWFUL about it. I don't know what to do about the endo now. Ds has to go in for part two of the root canal in a month. Obviously we have to do that. He has another tooth that will fall apart at any time and need a root canal. Part of me wants to get another endo who will not pull this kind of garbage. Another part of me thinks if ds is okay with the policy we'll get through this. After all, he's not a toddler. This endo was recommended very specifically by our pediatric dentist as being better than anyone else she had worked with, gentler, and the one that the dentist specifically wanted for ds' complicated situation. I had questioned staying with this endo because of his policy (no parents in the room). I really trust this dentist (we've been with her for years). When I questioned the policy two years ago, the dentist actually spoke to the endo and reassured him on our behalf that I am not some freaking helicopter mom who will talk to him or distract him from his work. The endo agreed that if ds wanted me present, I could be present, but that I would give the endo the opportunity to try to establish his own rapport with ds. That was fine with me. The door stayed open and ds was usually fine about going in on his own. All I cared about was that if my child was upset or frightened that he have the option of having me with him if he wanted. For the root canal, the endo decided, before I got there, that ds is "fine" and that "there is no way you will be allowed in the room." The weird thing is, too, that the endo is actually really nice. He explains things thoroughly, both to me and to ds. I don't understand why he has made this policy a hill to die on, or why he would consider it ethical to agree to one thing at one time, and then decree otherwise. It's not like I have every interfered with him before, nor has ds EVER been difficult for him or any other medical professional. I pay his bills on time too! Just ranting, though I'd appreciate any advice on the endo for the future. Edited April 10, 2012 by strider Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Peach Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 I'm sorry for all you've been through. :grouphug: And I want to give a special :grouphug: to your DS. I had the same thing happen a few months ago. It was the most excruciating pain I have ever been in (hello! 3 natural childbirths!). I opted to have the tooth pulled (it was a molar so it can't be seen) and I was put out for it. Anyway, I think it was not ok for how the office handled not letting you in. Could you ask to stay next time just until he is out/numb? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canadianmumof5 Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 Sorry no advice to offer on the endo but gosh, you have had a rough time. Truly hope things start looking up soon. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coffeetime Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 Ugh. Hopefully it can only get better from here! As far as the endo goes, it sounds like he's dealt with some very difficult parents. If you trust him and think he's the best one to do the work and your ds is fine with it- I think I would just let it go. To me, it would be most important the the root canal is done properly. I'm sorry things have been so rough for you lately!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in AL Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 Ugh. Hopefully it can only get better from here! As far as the endo goes, it sounds like he's dealt with some very difficult parents. If you trust him and think he's the best one to do the work and your ds is fine with it- I think I would just let it go. To me, it would be most important the the root canal is done properly. I'm sorry things have been so rough for you lately!! :iagree: With the above and the endo. Maybe if your ds absolutely wanted you there, he would allow it, but if it's the parent asking to be there he won't? I have encountered a doc like that~~ he wanted it to sincerely come from the patient and not while the parent was still in the room. I have learned never to say "what else?" :grouphug::grouphug: to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 Mu hubby recently had a panic attack during a root canal and the staff had a very hard time controlling him long enough to get a temporary filling in so that he could go to an endo for an iv sedation procedure. Having me in the room would not have helped and I can see freaking out in that kind of situation if it was my child so I have a bit more understanding for this policy that I had previously but I would be extremely upset with the change in agreement at the last moment and would be giving the endo a very stern talking to regardless of whether I chose to stay with him or not. :glare: Sorry you are having a rough month. It seems like when it rains it pours. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
houseofkids&pets Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: I am sorry to hear that so many awful things have happened in such a short time frame. I hope your dd doesn't have mono on top of all of this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 :grouphug: That is a lot of stuff to deal with! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 :grouphug: May only good things happen to you from now on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 The doc's flip flop policy would bother me too. Can you make an appointment just to speak to him and let him know that emergency situations are not the time to change policies and if he felt he could not work with you in the room he should have notified you prior to coming in? OR would it be better to notify pediatric dentist of this mishap and let her speak to endo about this particular situation? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Education Explorers Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 Is your last name "Murphy" by any chance? "Anything that can go wrong, will." Murphy's Law Let's just hope that another of Murphy's Laws doesn't kick in... "Nothing is ever so bad that it can't get worse." Sorry you are having such a rough time.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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