HeidiKC Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 (edited) My son's music teacher is having her first baby. We have been taking lessons from her for about 9 months. We like her a lot but are not close or anything. I got an evite from someone I don't know to come to a shower for her, along with 78 other people! It even said feel free to bring family and friends. There will be snacks and games, and says where she is registered. I was a bit surprised to get an invitation in the first place, but I've never heard of 78 people (and their families) being invited to a baby shower? I wonder if it might be a cultural thing? They are Asian (I think Chinese?) - is that common? I'd feel better if so! I wouldn't mind attending a shower for her, but I'd picture something smaller - like the other kids taking lessons that know each other. And I guess I've got in mind the Christmas gift my son gave her. He worked SO hard on it for a long time. She didn't open it in front of him (which was kind of sad for him, but it was understandable), and then never thanked him in person or in writing. I was sad for him! Again, is that maybe a cultural thing? I guess I'm not sure what to make of this invite and feel kind of funny about it. ETA: Ok, I'm feeling better about it based on people's responses. Apparently some people have huge showers and want to include everyone. It just isn't anything I've ever heard of (I'd think 20 would be really big!), but doesn't mean it isn't coming from the right place. I'm sure they are super-excited and want to share that with everyone. Edited March 7, 2012 by HeidiKC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 Asian is such a broad term spanning so many different cultures.;) In my husband's Filipino culture a huge shower would be very normal. So would the things you mentioned about the gift opening and the lack of a thank you. In the Japanese culture I grew up in they wouldn't be so normal. Esp. the thank you part. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 Most Americans I know are pretty lazy to thank others for gifts, I have to say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acorn Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 We had a similar invitation to baby shower for a dance teacher. I thought it was fun, but I can see how it might have seemed like a present grab to some people. We were planning on giving a baby gift after the baby was born, so it didn't make a difference to me. The open-house style shower was a great way to include dozens of tiny dancers who were excited for their teacher. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeidiKC Posted March 7, 2012 Author Share Posted March 7, 2012 Asian is such a broad term spanning so many different cultures.;) Yes, I didn't mean to insult or generalize. But I'm not sure where the hostess is from. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 Yes, I didn't mean to insult or generalize. But I'm not sure where the hostess is from. No insult - it's just hard to answer, that's all! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeidiKC Posted March 7, 2012 Author Share Posted March 7, 2012 The open-house style shower was a great way to include dozens of tiny dancers who were excited for their teacher. Ok, this makes a lot of sense to me. If she IS going to include her students, of course there will be a lot of them. Feeling better about this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scuff Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 I have had friends who were korean or filippino who treated you like family even if co-workers or classmates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 My son's music teacher is having her first baby. We have been taking lessons from her for about 9 months. We like her a lot but are not close or anything. I got an evite from someone I don't know to come to a shower for her, along with 78 other people! It even said feel free to bring family and friends. There will be snacks and games, and says where she is registered. I was a bit surprised to get an invitation in the first place, but I've never heard of 78 people (and their families) being invited to a baby shower? I wonder if it might be a cultural thing? They are Asian (I think Chinese?) - is that common? I'd feel better if so! I wouldn't mind attending a shower for her, but I'd picture something smaller - like the other kids taking lessons that know each other. And I guess I've got in mind the Christmas gift my son gave her. He worked SO hard on it for a long time. She didn't open it in front of him (which was kind of sad for him, but it was understandable), and then never thanked him in person or in writing. I was sad for him! Again, is that maybe a cultural thing? I guess I'm not sure what to make of this invite and feel kind of funny about it. Are they older? Maybe a baby after long time infertility? We had a huge first baby shower. Our baby was adopted. And it took us 7 years of marriage to figure it out. MIL planned this huge shower. I didn't realized then that it was bigger than the norm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotAVampireLvr Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 I have had friends who were korean or filippino who treated you like family even if co-workers or classmates. We've attended many different Asian weddings (Chinese, Korean, and Vietmanese are the first that come to mind) My SIL is from Taiwaan. Its definitely a cultural thing. Its also a really big deal in my experience when you make an effort to attend. The family does indeed treat you like family as OP has mentioned. Its not uncommon like they said to invite classmates or coworkers. Its not surprising parents of students that she is friendly with got invitations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chepyl Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 I have been to four showers held for dance teachers-3 baby and 1 wedding. There are always.lots of kids. 300+ families were invited to one. Not everyone came, but many stopped by and we had a lot of fun. If you are going to include students, it is best to include all students. Even new students could feel left out. If you don't feel comfortable, don't go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetMissMagnolia Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 I've never been to a shower that big.....personally if I didn't know anyone but the one it was being thrown for I probabaly wouldn't go-maybe send a gift but I doubt I would go.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 I didn't want a shower (shy). People who were really happy for me insisted. I made a small list. People I barely knew asked if they'd been forgotten. Party got to be HUGE. HUUUUUUUUUUUGE. 27 teddy bears huge. (Hint, the fire department loves teddy gifts. They give them to children who are frightened and outside their burnt home.) Everyone seemed to have fun, and a woman who died suddenly at 39 got her last pictures taken there. Some people love throwing these things, and I know I love baby showers now, after hating them for years. I always felt like an interloper in the world of women. Now, they seem to be co-ed and lots and lots of fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 I went to a baby shower for an Indian woman that worked with dh. It was HUGE! Like a wedding, complete with a ceremony, a special dance and tons of guests. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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