Really struggling with teaching reading/child in general

[LAmom]

I have been using Phonics Pathways, Reading Pathways for fun, and ETC for teaching reading to my ds6, who is considered a 1st grader. He is definitely a different learning than my dd8 (who picked up how to read very quickly in 1st grade using MFW 1st). A little more easily distracted, rather go play, seems rather bored and uninterested, etc.

 

He still has to sound out every letter for cvc words. He right now is stuck on long vowel sounds with the silent e. He is just not getting it. Do I just keep reviewing everyday and eventually it will click? I feel like we are at a standstill and am worried that he will have to stay in "1st grade" instead of move on to 2nd next year. I will not move him ahead, so to speak, if he can't read. We get so frustrated that we don't have much time to work on any math or develop more of his handwriting skills. I am not stuck on grade levels...that isn't the issue here. I just want him to be able to read!!

 

How do I know it is him and not that I need to change the curriculum? I use a dry erase board for the words in PP because he can't stand looking at the book. I try using letter tiles, flashcards, etc.

 

I am struggling to be patient. I don't get why it isn't clicking. I find myself every week wishing I could send him to school so he could get a better education or at least something! We cannot afford private schools....:glare:

 

Any tips? Persevere? Keep going? Stay patient? Ugh, but it is not going well!!!!

 

Thanks for listening.

[black_midori]

In regards to the long vowel sound with a silent e - I REALLY liked the way 100EZ (How to teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons) taught that sort of thing. It was last year, so the details are somewhat fuzzy - but as I recall, they left the plain vowel as short sound and the vowel with a line over it for the long sound for the beginning portion of the book. Also, if there was a silent letter they made it significantly smaller than the remaining letters (so "take" would be t.a-with-a-line.k.tiny little e). It looks kind of funny, but it REALLY worked for both my sons - it took very little time for them to absolutely understand and be able to read those words. By the end of the book, the words are written in a more regular fashion but when learning them for the first time having the different sizes and lines really made it make sense to them as to why we say things a certain way.

 

Then, after we finished with 100EZ, we went to All About Spelling (AAS). That is where we learned when the vowel is long and why, and why a silent e might be present.

 

As a trial run, or alternative teaching - since you are already doing it on the board, can you try just writing it that way and see what he thinks? Line over the long vowel, make the silent e tiny - then just remind him gently that "the line "a" says "aaaaaaa" and if the letter is tiny, you don't say it".

[kalanamak]

My boy was not a "natural" but we got there. I tried very hard not to belabor him, but did things he found much more fun. He really enjoyed the SWR cards and was very proud when he had them all memorized.

 

I broke up reading classes into 5 minutes stretches, always starting up with the le te ru sa fi etc page in PP.

 

He also needed magnifiers for most of 1st grade. He discarded them soon thereafter.

 

I also played a game where he would read me the first line of each page of early readers, and then I'd get on the with rest, so he was motivated. Harry the Dirty Dog type books.

 

HTH

[ElizabethB]

:grouphug:

 

Work on words like go, no, so, me, he, she, we, hi, pi, etc for a while. (They syllabary is good, too, but if you don't want Webster you can just use these words.)

 

Then, once you get practice with long vowels, go back to silent e words.

 

There is a good silent e thread somewhere, I'll see if I can dig it up for you.

[ElizabethB]

Here is the thread, it has some good ideas.

 

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=73087&highlight=silent+e+hop+hope

[woolybear]

He can definitely move on to second grade even if he is not reading yet. Both my boys have been slow to learn to read. Eventually it does just click. I would say if you can tell he has been learning from the program you are using, stick with it. Maybe take a little break, but then go back to it.

[Carol in Cal.]

How long are you spending on this each day? You can burn kids this age out really easily. I would spend no more than 20 minutes per day on it. When that's done, it's done. I would not worry about it for another year--he could easily just not be quite ready for this. When he is 7 or nearly 8 is when you start thinking about evaluations and such. But 6 is still pretty young, and readiness varies considerably at that age.

 

Still do copywork.

 

Still do basic math (Saxon maybe?)

 

Still read to him A LOT.

 

I see no problem moving him into second grade. You just have to read to him more if he is not reading much to himself. No big deal. At that age reading and story telling dominate anyway.

[threeofakind]

I understand! In first grade my son struggled and he went to the school where I was a reading specialist! I tried all the tricks and trade and really what helped was- time. He needed to come into his own when he was ready, and honestly I think his teacher fretted more about it than I. In the beginning I had some concerns but the more I learned about boys and girls the less I stressed, he still gives me moments of stress but I am reminded he will get there in his own time.

 

So now he's in third grade and first year homeschooling, he will read on his own once in awhile but loves being read to. So I would say just do very short lessons everyday, and know it will come to him! And yes a lot of patience with the sounding out :001_smile:!

[Jayne J]

I am in the middle of this too. Ds made it all look so easy--I thought I was a super-teacher! DD is having a much harder time, and it is making me crazy. We play ElizabethB's phonics game alot. We play a game from OPGTR which I have modified, in which I write words on a card or board and she must read the word(s) and do the action it says. She loves that. She is also highly motivated by food rewards--we have flashcards on which I have written "rule-breaker" words like break, great, steak etc. and I add those cards to a stack of rule followers. She must identify the rule breakers, tell me the rule and read the word correctly and if she does she gets a chocolate chip (I think this may be a modification of an OPGTR game as well.) She does much better when I make it into a game or an activity rather than just sitting with the book. Her progress seems to just sit still for weeks on end, but we are getting there. I figure that OPGTR is designed to take me through 4th grade reading level, so I've got at least that long.:D

 

Slow and steady wins the race. Keep a stiff upper lip and all that...

[JessieC]

Honestly, at this point I would ease up on the phonics lessons to maybe three times a week for 10-15 minutes and instead work on "selling" him on books. Find reading material that he is interested in and read it aloud a lot, strew appealing books and magazines around, etc. Maybe do some Starfall and PBS kids computer games for fun. The biggest thing is not to build up that wall of resistance, so that he doesn't think reading is boring and that he is bad at it! It will likely "click" soon--put away the long e lessons, then come back to it in a month or two. You may find you have a much more receptive kid.

[malbanese]

This was my experience too! If I had it to do over again with my son I would not try to do school at age 6. Some boys are just wired differently. I think some of what schools label ADD is just little boys not ready to sit and concentrate on abstract things in school. They just don't care and you can't make them care. Until they care (what some call "readiness"), you will be beating your head against a wall no matter what curriculum you use.

 

Give play-doh, math manipulatives and don't worry about being ahead or behind (that is hard I know). I read plenty of places not to try to start with boys like mine until about 8 but I didn't listen and it was a struggle. It isn't until now (that he is 8) that he is starting to get it. I have a friend whose son is 11 and just now getting it. My nephew was like that and he is in high school now and reads perfectly fine.

 

I will say that we did All About Spelling (AAS) last year and that did help, but he still didn't remember from one time to the next the "rules" so I had to really try hard not to get frustrated. Maybe just try short 10 minute reading lessons and read to him a lot. I also do a lot of audio books. He has plenty of time to learn to read and there are lots of us out there with kids like yours. That always made me feel better.

[Ellie]

He's just a little guy. He's probably as frustrated as you are. My vote would be to put it away until at least after Christmas. :-)

 

There isn't any reason that he'd have to be a "first grader" again next year, just because he's having a little difficulty in one thing. :-)

[SorrelZG]

I would be easing up. Doing a little each day, no expectation/frustration, and making a point of getting to other things. I personally would be fearing that if his school days are predominately dealing with this frustration that it would begin to negatively affect his thoughts about his ability to learn and school in general. Make sure he is doing things that he is making obvious progress in.

[Chloe]

Please don't hold him back just because he is not reading by the end of first grade. For some children it just takes more time for it to click. But then it could click all at once and he's right where he "needs" to be (IOW, where most other kids his age are).

 

I am on the tail end of teaching my fourth dc to read, and they are all so different. I barely had to teach my youngest. She just turned 5 and has basically just taken off. However, my third dc (just turned 9) still struggles with reading, but he is very smart. His comprehension is amazing, even when it takes him forever to get through a page of reading. And he takes in everything I read to him. He is my math whiz. My other three learned to read very easily, but were either average with math or struggled with it. They each have their own strengths. Struggling a bit in reading is no reason to hold him back a whole grade, especially if he's doing fine with everything else. As for spelling, I don't worry about that until third grade. We just make sure to do plenty of quality copywork until then. Read to him often. Have him narrate back to you once in a while. Work on the reading for about 20 minutes a day, and have him do some copywork and math. That is plenty for first grade.

 

I bet in a year or even six months from now you'll wonder what you were so worried about. :001_smile:

[Ellie]

Please don't hold him back just because he is not reading by the end of first grade. For some children it just takes more time for it to click. But then it could click all at once and he's right where he "needs" to be (IOW, where most other kids his age are).

 

I am on the tail end of teaching my fourth dc to read, and they are all so different. I barely had to teach my youngest. She just turned 5 and has basically just taken off. However, my third dc (just turned 9) still struggles with reading, but he is very smart. His comprehension is amazing, even when it takes him forever to get through a page of reading. And he takes in everything I read to him. He is my math whiz. My other three learned to read very easily, but were either average with math or struggled with it. They each have their own strengths. Struggling a bit in reading is no reason to hold him back a whole grade, especially if he's doing fine with everything else. As for spelling, I don't worry about that until third grade. We just make sure to do plenty of quality copywork until then. Read to him often. Have him narrate back to you once in a while. Work on the reading for about 20 minutes a day, and have him do some copywork and math. That is plenty for first grade.

 

I bet in a year or even six months from now you'll wonder what you were so worried about. :001_smile:

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[FairProspects]

I bet in a year or even six months from now you'll wonder what you were so worried about. :001_smile:

 

The only problem with this approach is that when there is a true LD, in 6 months or a year, it is likely to be more pervasive than it was when dc were younger. Ds has more difficulty now, in more subjects, than he did a year ago. LDs are the gift that keep on giving.

 

OP, I know nothing about your situation, but trust your gut. If you feel that he just needs more time to mature, then give him the time. If you feel like reading or teaching him in general should just not be as hard as it is, then maybe it is time for an initial developmental evaluation.

[MerryAtHope]

He may not be ready for long vowel words if he's still sounding out every 3-letter word. Both of my kids were like this. If he's still struggling at the end of 1st grade, I would consider keeping him in 1st for another year, unless you think it will really negatively affect him in other things (like group activities with friends, Sunday School class and so on). I can tell you that the negative impact of doing this now is FAR LESS than the negative impact of wishing later you could do it, or seeing a child who really could use another year before going into high school. If learning disabilities are discovered later, it's much harder to hold an older child back. On the flip side, if he catches up and excels later, it's easy to promote him a grade.

 

Both of my kids who struggle show signs of dyslexia and one also needed vision therapy. At 6, your son is a little young to really know if there's an issue or if he just needs more time. But these are things that are worth becoming knowledgable about sooner, rather than later. If he's still struggling next year, you may want to pursue some testing.

 

Hang in there! It can take lots of patience, but he's worth it. Merry :-)