momsuz123 Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 Hi all, So a few months ago, my 6 y/o dd and I met with this neuropsych guy as part of a child dev eval (my daughter met with a SLP yesterday, and a MD tomorrow). The guy was a total jerk. First, he brought me back and "attacked" me about hsing my dd. "Are you a teacher?", "how many years have you hs?" "Oh, it is your first, then how do you know what you are doing?" It went on like this. Total jerk. He turned the whole eval into me. Then, it was "if your so far ahead with hsing then why do you need to be here?" I explained that "ahead" meant that we have been able to cover more material in a hs environment then if she was in school. He then proceeded with a different line of attack. "So, you label your dd as having a auditory processing disroder...are you some mom who sits up at night and google dx for your child?" I explained to him that I didn't come up with that, but the audiologist who referred us and knows my dd very well, thought we should look into the possibility of a mild APD. It was horrible. He was a total jerk. I am going to mention to the MD tomorrow about how horrible it was and how judgemental he was. We have to meet with him and the others for a full panel discussion on what to do for our dd. I would love to roast him then, in front of his peers and all:glare: Any thoughts, suggestion, facts, bits of anything for ammo? Thanks. I am new to this hsing, and am new to realizing that dd may have some "issue" going on. But I will do anything for my kids, and will ask ?'s, learn, explore, keep an open mind, etc. But I will not be treated like an idiot. If you ask me, the guy is some totally insecure short little jerk who just wanted to rip me apart to make himself feel better. Didn't work! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 Send a letter to the jerk's supervisor. Keep your verbiage to-the-point. Give concrete examples, and express concerns about jerk's ability to evaluate children fairly given his obvious bias. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyinND Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 :confused:Ummm, wow! Just Wow! :grouphug: to you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 I agree, vent away here, but I would avoiding being emotional in your letter. I would share your specific concerns during the session....but I would also be aware that others in the group may have a similar bias. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 I would love to roast him then, in front of his peers and all Don't. You'll set yourself on fire. Bias happens. Document your experience and make sure he gets that as part of his review, but don't bring up anything during the panel discussion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momsuz123 Posted November 22, 2011 Author Share Posted November 22, 2011 Yes, I know, don't get emotional to them. I will try not to. DH will be there so that will help. I am going to mention though tomorrow to the MD what happened, without any emotion, just facts, because I think she runs the entire clinic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyomarie Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 (edited) So it must be something about that particular field of expertise that they want to get all up in arms about the mere idea of homeschooling. Certain individuals within the psychology/psychiatry field. The ed. psych who assessed my daughter when we were overseas years ago was a gem. He got that expatriate families have their reasons for having their children in local schools rather than international schools and that they often combine local schooling w/afterschooling. He tailored his recommendations to our educational choices. The neuropsychologist who first assessed my son is also a true gem. He gets homeschooling and he gets that families sometimes move between homeschooling & school depending on the need of the child, but not because "all children belong in school." He tailored his recommendations to our then current reality of homeschooling, but also gave some input on what type of school would be best for our son should we decide to enroll him in a school before traditional college age. In contrast, we had a very disappointing experience with the staff in another clinic who were involved with another evaluation we had this year. It's too fresh & this board is too public for me to say more but it is safe to say that I am not happy at all with the biases they revealed, albeit somewhat thinly veiled. I'm really sorry you have had this disappointing experience (all of you who have had one!). It's hard enough to raise children with complex educational needs. We don't need to be blasted for making other choices because we recognize that it is often hard to get our children's true needs met in a school setting. Edited November 22, 2011 by Tokyomarie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laundrycrisis Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 (edited) I would roast him. I would say in front of all of his peers that he is obviously so biased against our choice to homeschool that he was not able to see past that in order provide the evaluation. And request an evaluation from someone more professional. When DS1 was evaluated for early intervention, the social worker and the OT talked amongst themselves and then came back to the house and ambushed me about still nursing him at age 2 and not leaving him to CIO (they tried to tell me it was essential that I do this). They did this when DH was not here, so two against one. I basically told them off and threw them out. I wrote a letter to their boss about their unprofessional behavior, provided her with fact sheets on the benefits of extended nursing and articles opposing CIO, and met with her privately to express my outrage in case she didn't get it the first time. Then when they were all here for the final meeting, DH blasted them in front of the rest of the team. It was worth doing. I would do it again in a heartbeat. IMO we have to advocate for ourselves when we are attacked by unprofessionals who are simply abusing their positions. Edited November 22, 2011 by laundrycrisis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laundrycrisis Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 deleting duplicate post Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Embassy Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 Wow! :grouphug: Do you have to meet with this guy again? It doesn't sound like he would be helpful at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessAriel Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 I can so relate to your experience :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Embassy Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 When DS1 was evaluated for early intervention, the social worker and the OT talked amongst themselves and then came back to the house and ambushed me about still nursing him at age 2 and not leaving him to CIO (they tried to tell me it was essential that I do this). They did this when DH was not here, so two against one. I basically told them off and threw them out. I wrote a letter to their boss about their unprofessional behavior, provided her with fact sheets on the benefits of extended nursing and articles opposing CIO, and met with her privately to express my outrage in case she didn't get it the first time. Then when they were all here for the final meeting, DH blasted them in front of the rest of the team. It was worth doing. I would do it again in a heartbeat. IMO we have to advocate for ourselves when we are attacked by unprofessionals who are simply abusing their positions. Argh! :grouphug: I had a male doctor-in-training tell me to stop nursing my recently turned 1 year old so I wouldn't feel full. :confused: :lol: This was an appointment for my child. I was also told to stop carrying him in a sling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momsuz123 Posted November 23, 2011 Author Share Posted November 23, 2011 I would roast him. I would say in front of all of his peers that he is obviously so biased against our choice to homeschool that he was not able to see past that in order provide the evaluation. And request an evaluation from someone more professional. When DS1 was evaluated for early intervention, the social worker and the OT talked amongst themselves and then came back to the house and ambushed me about still nursing him at age 2 and not leaving him to CIO (they tried to tell me it was essential that I do this). They did this when DH was not here, so two against one. I basically told them off and threw them out. I wrote a letter to their boss about their unprofessional behavior, provided her with fact sheets on the benefits of extended nursing and articles opposing CIO, and met with her privately to express my outrage in case she didn't get it the first time. Then when they were all here for the final meeting, DH blasted them in front of the rest of the team. It was worth doing. I would do it again in a heartbeat. IMO we have to advocate for ourselves when we are attacked by unprofessionals who are simply abusing their positions. Good for you! I am going to see how things go tomorrow to see how much I can talk about what happened. I told the SLP straight out, at the end of the eval, how poorly I was treated by him and how his extreme bias against hsing really clouded his ability to help my child. I gave her concrete examples, and was non-emotional. She was mad that the jerk didn't do any dyslexia testing, I guess he just did some memory tests for young children. WTH?! He didn't even really know why I was there since he never asked, so how would he know what to test. The SLP commented that there is another neuropsych there that might be of more help if we need it (I sure as heck am not going to pay for it though, they can!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyomarie Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 (edited) Good for you! I am going to see how things go tomorrow to see how much I can talk about what happened. I told the SLP straight out, at the end of the eval, how poorly I was treated by him and how his extreme bias against hsing really clouded his ability to help my child. I gave her concrete examples, and was non-emotional. She was mad that the jerk didn't do any dyslexia testing, I guess he just did some memory tests for young children. WTH?! He didn't even really know why I was there since he never asked, so how would he know what to test. The SLP commented that there is another neuropsych there that might be of more help if we need it (I sure as heck am not going to pay for it though, they can!) Do you have a witness/advocate who can go with you tomorrow? After my experience, I have come to believe that both parents or the more involved parent plus a good friend or professional advocate should be in the room so there is a witness to the conversation. I also believe that it is important to be competely & utterly professional in your comments- firm but professional. The other person may not have been professional & may choose not to be in the future but it really doesn't help the parent's long-term cause to "ream out" the other person. Edited November 23, 2011 by Tokyomarie edited one sentence for clarity Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 I'm so sorry you had to go through this and so glad you handled it well! We are now looking into getting an evaluation and the last thing I want to think about is having to argue about things I am not there for, with someone that is supposed to be trying to help me, help my child :glare:! Please keep us posted on the outcome! Hoping all works out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misty Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 Wow, that is unbelievable.. What a jerk!! Someone above him needs to know what a jerk he is. I hate people like that.. :ack2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetMissMagnolia Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 :iagree: oh man that was awful...... :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaSheep Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 What a jerk! It sure would be nice if an open mind were a requirement for advanced degrees. I've been fortunate to work mostly with really great people who have been supportive of our educational choices, especially if I calmly explain my reasoning when asked. But some "professionals" are just idiotic about some things. When my friend's son was younger (like 8 or 10 if I remember right) a pediatrician she went to for help told her there was nothing wrong with her son except that she sheltered him way too much (he was in public school) and that what she should do was show him a bunch of R-rated movies so he could have a more realistic view of the world. Later, he was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome by more competent medical professionals. And fortunately she was sensible enough to see the movie recommendation for the dangerous nonsense it was. I mean...good grief! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbara H Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 That is such a lousy experience and we've been there too. It is hard to really get your hope up that you will receive help and then be confronted with incompetence. I'd say there is a real split out there among professionals. We were told homeschooling was the WORST thing we could do and had others say it was the BEST and ONLY option. I hope you will be able to move on to someone else who can be more helpful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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