jennsmile Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 My favorite response that I have heard to "Your hands are full." "Better full than empty." Haven't used it yet but I think it is the truth while at the same time being catchy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisabees Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 I think too that sometimes older people are remembering the joy of their own kids, and kind of missing having kids around, and by conversing with you kind of soaking up some of that "kid vibe" that they used to have in their homes. Just like we all coo over babies - we want to make contact with that wondrous thing that babies are all about. This. :iagree: A quote I love, "If you think my hands are full, you should see my heart." ETA: I didn't see the above post until after I posted! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 These comments are really getting under my skin too. Last Friday we went to lunch (the whole family) and the hostess pleasantly said, "2 adults, 4 kids?" and my six-year-old promptly said, "We know. My parents have their hands full." :grouphug: And that's the problem. It used to be that adults had sensors on their mouths and they did not say every thing they thought in front of children. Childen pick up on this. When my boys were 3, 18 mos. and newborn, I got so many rude comments about "I feel sorry for you having all those boys!", that my three year old son began apologizing to me for not being a girl! I guess I am of the opinion that our self-centered culture that thinks it can say anything it thinks in public to whomever it wants and hurt children in the process, needs a wake up call. I am all for retraining them by letting them know that they are asking instrusive, personal, inappropriate questions and they are rude for doing so. I've told people they are asking me or my children inappropriate questions and I will continue to do so. I cannot/will not tolerate people who walk up to me in the grocery store and hint to my 14 year old that his father might not be his because his sibs all look like replicas of their dad (ds looks like a clone of my dad instead). He's 14...he gets what they mean. How on earth can this be deemed NOT rude and NOT appropriate and why should any person have to put up with it. It's high time that the unthinking, ill mannered people in society be re-educated on appropriate topics of conversation and governing one's mouth or take the consequences which is that they are called out for their rudeness. I do not feel one bit guilty about putting them in their place and I'm normally a very easy going person. But, there is a line and it's been crossed far too many times by strangers. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 :grouphug: "Aren't you nosy." "Why on earth would you ask that?" Then, :DSmile:D and let them untangle their own rope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrissySC Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 I immediately thought that you should respond ... "I'm not quite sure what I did in the first place to get pregnant, but as soon as I figure it out ... " and end with a giggle! This was the best suggestion. I want a picture of their face when you reply! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hilltop Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 This. :iagree: A quote I love, "If you think my hands are full, you should see my heart." ETA: I didn't see the above post until after I posted! I used a similar response when my twins were younger. People would see us and say, "Oh, double trouble!" I would smile and reply, "No, double blessings!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyinND Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 Hee! I like the herpes one. I would come up with a list of inappropriate questions. Do you ever get that, not-so-fresh feeling? :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silliness7 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 They pretty much all seem like stooping. I understand the temptation. I've had some pretty rude questions about my twins and especially about their medical conditions as babies. But nothing gives beauty to your life that nice manners, just in a surface way, and nothing will leave you feeling better. When someone asked me an inappropriate question (and I have some real doozies) it always felt better in the long run to smile and say, "Thank you so much for inquiring about us. That seems like a personal question, though," and then continuing to be gracious in the follow up. I know it's more fun to hear how you can return fire with fire, but rudeness never makes you feel better. That's what Tom Hanks's character tells Meg Ryan's in You've Got Mail. Then she proceeds to find out the hard way that he was right. Love that movie. I like the pp that said to respond why do you ask? But I haven't been asked that in a very long while. I forget how irritating it can be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maria from IN Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 I can't do this because I've got just the one, but I think you all need to make shirts that say, "No, they're not mine. I just started playing my flute and they all lined up behind me and followed me here." Of course, the back of the shirt needs to say, "Heeere's your sign." :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In2why Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 To the, "Are they all yours?" question... Look at them in amazement, and cry, "YOU SEE THEM TOO?!" then start crying and chanting, "I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy..." This is my FAVORITE!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In2why Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 I agree, but it sure is tempting some days. I was waiting for children's choir to start the other day and let my two daughters (9 and 10) play on the playground while we waited. A man came up to them and was asking them something, so I started walking towards him. He asked me if I was their mother (with the tone of utter astoninshment) and when I answered yes, he said, "but they are brown and you are white." Hmmm.. I couldn't even answer, I just stood there stunned. My daughters are darker than me (Pacific Islanders) and are adopted, but come on. I get this too. I have children by birth, adoption and fostering and they are every skin tone. Yes, they are all mine, and no I am not going to discuss where they came from or how I got them with a complete stranger! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1GirlTwinBoys Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 (edited) I don't really understand why it would be offensive to ask those ?'s. :confused: Maybe they thought some of the kid's might be friends of your kid's. I think some people are just fascinated and find larger families interesting. I doubt they're trying to upset you or offend you on purpose. Edited October 26, 2011 by 1GirlTwinBoys Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa R. Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 \ "Sometimes you get what you wish for". That stopped folks in their tracks. You can also subsitute pray for wish. Works like a charm and smiles are pretty much (ok, not always) the response. What a beautiful response. I don't understand why someone would want to be rude and tacky toward someone that has been rude and tacky first. That just makes you sink down to their level. I understand that people can be irritating and thoughtless. I think they are also trying to make conversation and speak without thinking first. However, be a great ambassador for large families and respond to a tacky question or comment with class. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tricia Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 Oh ladies. After having had 12 children there isn't one line we haven't heard. But when we are asked if we are going to have anymore our come back is always, "Well, we're always trying!" Of course my husband thought that one up but I like it so well I use it too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 I find just a firm stare and a "that is a personal question", or "why do you ask?" to be very effective and still polite. as for sarcastic comebacks, I don't want my children to see me using them and think they're okay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 (edited) They are personal questions and should not be asked by mere acquaintances and strangers. now that daytime talk shows reign with everything exposed, people think they can ask questions that expose everything. People need a reality check. To the, "Are they all yours?" question... Look at them in amazement, and cry, "YOU SEE THEM TOO?!" then start crying and chanting, "I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy..." :smilielol5: I agree that people are usually not trying to be rude or snarky. :iagree:, but they are also totally clueless about appropriate topics to start a conversation and need redirection. answering them only encourages them to think it's okay. Their mother's didn't train them in the art of small talk. I've never understood why this is offensive or inappropriate. I've been told that before and only have two. to me, people asking those questions are more likely to convey the message of "see how stupid I am? I don't know anything about what is appropriate or how to make small talk". some of the questions cited are just stupid - the speaker thinks they're being clever, but they aren't. Other questions are SERIOUSLY inappropriate and beyond personal, they enter the territory of downright offensive. In hindsight, I'm sorry I discouraged my husband from calling the manager of one establishement where the clerk gave me a lecture on overpopulation when I was pregnant with my third. (I gave him a lecture on population demographics) :grouphug: And that's the problem. It used to be that adults had censors on their mouths and they did not say every thing they thought in front of children. Childen pick up on this. I guess I am of the opinion that our self-centered culture that thinks it can say anything it thinks in public to whomever it wants and hurt children in the process, needs a wake up call. I am all for retraining them by letting them know that they are asking instrusive, personal, inappropriate questions and they are rude for doing so. I do not feel one bit guilty about putting them in their place and I'm normally a very easy going person. But, there is a line and it's been crossed far too many times by strangers. Faith :iagree::iagree::iagree: I about burst my top when some gung-ho young woman told my then three year old daughter she could "be anything she wanted when she grew up, even a pilot" (we were at the flight museum). My THREE year old daughter burst into tears because she wanted to be a mommy and felt she had just been told she couldn't be. I was seriously ticked I then I had to do damage control calming down a sobbing child caused by a supposed adult making a stupid comment. I get this too. I have children by birth, adoption and fostering and they are every skin tone. Yes, they are all mine, and no I am not going to discuss where they came from or how I got them with a complete stranger! I once read a suggestion to a woman married to an asian that when getting such comments (the, oh did you adopt, and then got pregnant?) she say "shhh, my husband thinks our children look like him". Edited October 26, 2011 by gardenmom5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 Here's an answer: No. I'm a surrogate mother. And then just look for the expressions as they try to figure that one out! :lol: If they're brazen enough to keep asking questions, you can say that the parents don't want them until they're out of braces, or after they graduate, or until they learn manners ... :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 Or how about ... No. I found them in aisle 12 on clearance. I can't pass up a good bargain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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