Any other homeschool moms who have just wanted to throw in the towel

[ilovemy4kids]

Any other homeschool moms who have just wanted to throw in the towel and say, "I can't do this anymore?" Just not able to keep on schedule, up with grading, things fall behind and you seriously believe they would get a better education at a private school where there is more structure and accountability and they'd learn to be more responsible for their own work? As a homeschool mom, if something doesn't get done, I don't feel I can just give an F/0 and move on...I still make the work get done and then we are further behind.

[WishboneDawn]

I've had moments but never extended periods. I think if it were something I was feeling for long periods of time I might well consider putting them in school.

[FrogMom5]

Yes. I am feeling this way now. It feels like I am failing at keeping up or doing a good job with anything - schooling, housework, cooking decent meals and so forth.

 

I think it will pass, it has before. Where we live, there are no private high schools to send my oldest, not that we can afford one anyway. The ps academics are poor so they're not an option either. It all boils down to me bucking up and getting a handle on the schedule. Next weekend is a 3-day weekend and I plan to spend it catching up and reorganizing the school materials. If I can do this periodically, I come to the end of the yr. with everything done.

 

My kids are very spread out and I know that contributes to feeling pulled in too many directions. My middle child is giving me a lot of push back right now and that is certainly a contributing factor.

 

Hang in there. The support here on this board really helps. Though reading posts sometimes makes me feel like a slacker, it also makes me try to reach higher and helps me regain my motivation.

:grouphug: and prayers that you get on top of things soon.

Denise

[Sunshine State Sue]

In some ways, I have thrown in the towel (check out my signature), but for very different reasons. I really only feel confident teaching math at the high school level. And, I grew very tired of the battles. If I got to rule the roost, ds would not be at PS, but he wanted to try, dh supported him, so this is our compromise.

 

Private high school is expensive. I know that there are scholarships, but would it cover everything? Is it possible to outsource the 2 most difficult classes for you to keep up with? The way I look at online classes is approx $500/class vs. $15,000 private high school tuition. Is there a possibility of CC? Here, CC is free in 10th-12th grade for homeschoolers, but we are unusually fortunate.

 

:grouphug:

Edited October 2, 2011 by Sue in St Pete

[Teachin'Mine]

A distance learning school, or a virtual or online school might be a solution. The student would have lesson plans to follow and be accountable for getting the work done and the grading would be done by someone other than you. It might be worth considering if you feel that what you're doing isn't working yet you don't want to give up homeschooling. :grouphug:

[G5052]

Even though I've delegated parts of it to paid classes for my oldest -- it still requires some coordination and oversight from me. That proved to be a huge blessing because my mother was in hospice (we buried her last Tuesday) and I work full-time, but it still has been tough to juggle this fall.

 

That said, we're committed and will keep on. Private school is not affordable, and public school is not an option academically or socially.

[Tressa]

Yes. All the time. I even dreamed the other night that I had put the kids in school. People tell me that it is all worth it. I can't wait to see it for myself. :001_smile:

 

Just keep swimming...just keep swimming..

[Perogi]

This has been my year of wanting to throw in the towel.....with glimpses of sunshine every now and then. Somehow the beautiful schedule that I crafted at the end of the summer didn't translate so well into real life and after a month of school we're still struggling to find a good rhythm to our days.

[Rhonda in TX]

Well, it's just not an option here, so I don't even consider it. PS's are okay around here, and there are private schools, but both would be a terrible fit for my Aspie DS. So, since it's not an option, I have to make it work.

[Mom22ns]

Well, it's just not an option here, so I don't even consider it. PS's are okay around here, and there are private schools, but both would be a terrible fit for my Aspie DS. So, since it's not an option, I have to make it work.

 

:iagree:

 

This is us. Good days or bad, this is by far better than how things would work for ds in ps (and ours are good). I have promised him that I would homeschool all the way through high school. If things aren't going well, I have to suck it up and find a way to make it go well. I never doubt or consider putting him in another school.

 

Then there is dd. She doesn't work as hard for me as she would an outside teacher. I really have to be strict or she will try to take advantage of deadlines. She whines :glare:. Sometimes I do wonder if she would be better off in ps, but she doesn't want to be there and I don't want her there either, so we continue on.

[mom31257]

This was me last week, but just with my dd. She was very hormonal which didn't help. Public school is not an option at all here, and to afford a private school, I would need to teach at it. This would also mean putting ds in school. I realize that I would teach other people's kids all day, come home and still have homework, housework, etc. It's just not worth it to me.

 

I think dd and I both are a little stressed that this is high school... everything counts now. She wants to be very independent, but isn't really ready for that in some subjects. She doesn't want to go to school, but she isn't happy being home with just me and her little brother after so many years.

 

I direct an enrichment co-op that meets 8 weeks each semester, one day a week. She's taking a high school study skills class at a local school and cotillion next semester. She's shy and hasn't really made friends, but there's not much time to either. That school allows homeschoolers to take core classes 3 days a week, but it's a 30 minute drive and one of the days is the co-op day. If I enroll her for some there, I have to stop directing co-op and that hurts ds and the almost 30 families involved (unless someone would take it over).

 

I would have her do classes with other students like a home co-op, but we don't know anyone her exact grade level.

 

Why does this have to be so hard? Uugghh.

[Kim in SouthGa]

:grouphug:

I am struggling with this right now too. Not really wanting to throw in the towel-I love homeschooling, and the ps and private schools here are pretty lame. But I just can't get it all done. I have outsourced all my 15ds's classes except three (Bible, History, and Logic), and I can barely keep up with those and all I have to do with the 3 other kiddos. Chemistry is outsourced, but he is struggling with it so I have to step in and try to relearn it so I can help him. Same with math.

I have learned that homeschooling is messy :D It's not neat and tidy and sitting on a shelf. It's like a well worn and much loved book , with bumps on the corners and pages falling out. No perfection here, but much love. And that's ok.

Get your focus back and remember why you are doing this in the first place. Are academics the #1 priority? For us, relationships are king. That's more important than anything else. Take a week off and catch up, watch some educational (or not) movies together, go out for ice cream, have a little fun. Do some things to help you remember that there is life outside of homeschooling. It is a season, though really long for some of us (11 years in and 13 more to go!), but one day it will be over! Juice up your battery and be ready to tackle it again next week. At least that is what we are doing. I have never given my kids a fall break before, but we are doing it this week. I am stressed, overwhelmed, and really, really tired. The kids think I am so nice to do this for them ;) but it's really for me.

[Osmosis Mom]

Well, if you are homeschooling for the long run, then you need to let go of your ideals and perfectionism. This is my 13th year; we have gotten four children since then and have moved three times etc. I have sent off two kids to college and am now in the midst of my sons' teenagehood. Obviously some things have to give if I have to stay even remotely sane.

[Paisley Hedgehog]

nm

[EKS]

Yes. I not only feel that my child would be better off at a good private school, at least as far as learning accountability and responsibility goes, I also feel he would be better off socially as he has not had nearly enough social opportunities since he aged out of the "homeschool school" in our town.

 

As for giving an F or zero and moving on, I will be doing that this morning. He chose to sleep late every day last week and blow off some of his work until the weekend (he has until Sunday night to hand in work for the week) and then he chose to wait to start that work on Sunday night. He wrote me an email at midnight pleading for an extension. I'm not giving the extension, and will grade what he has as is.

 

We will be applying to the only private high school in our area for next year. I've finally decided that he needs more than I can give him. Not in terms of academics, but in terms of everything else. I've come to the conclusion that I made a huge mistake in deciding to homeschool him for high school.

 

Sorry, I'm guessing this isn't what you wanted to hear.

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

he needs more than I can give him. Not in terms of academics, but in terms of everything else.

 

Gee, that makes a lot of us! I'm working today on the kids' application for high school. DD will start high school (which is grade 7 here) at a local Catholic private school, the one I graduated from. And DS will go to grade 10 at a local Christian school that I don't particularly like but at least it will give him his diploma (he needs grades 10 and 11, there's no grade 12). So 2 years of life at this decent but not fantastic school is ok.

[smilesonly]

Yes and, too often I feel that way.

 

I feel as if I started this, this, this....Beast. And now I need to see it through to the end. And, with both my dc being 2e, I too often feel stuck. Very stuck.

 

Which is why I start my days off in big time prayer.;)

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

[memphispeg]

This is me every couple of days....But, I can't throw in the towel on a sr. in high school. We try for a co-operative teaching/learning arrangement. I ask her how she would like to do a subject and we get our materials together and look them over. MY biggest problem is getting her to admit when something is NOT working, that she has hit a log-jam on learning material of some sort or that there is just too much work. I can usually fix that in a few days of adjusting curriculum focus. More or fewer problems, more or fewer worksheets, more or fewer quizzes. We have only been doing this for a little over a year and, when we do throw in the towel, we do something else for a bit and then we each sit down and start over. Since we started late in her academic career, this HAS to be a partnership. Thanks to this forum we can at least try to look like we know what we are doing.

My continued response to the experience over-all has been one of wanting to go to all my high school teachers in heaven (I now know that's where they are) and just saying "I'm sorry! (for being so clueless and unappreciative).

So, we here we make some cupcakes, take a walk, watch some soap operas and project runway and then, soldier on.

[Tullia]

I considered doing so many times, but since other, perhaps better options weren't feasible we muddled through, and it worked out fine. I do think that it's important to not hold too tightly to what you think homeschooling should be. All too often it is what it is. For us it was a mix of good and not so good. Don't be afraid to make major change if that's what will work best in your situation.

 

About the grading issue. If part of your high school focus is preparing your student for whatever will come after it might be in your student's best interest to go ahead, give an F or 0, show them what that will do to the semester/end of year grade and provide an opportunity to dig themselves out. In other words, don't wait until the end of a grading cycle to drop an F or the proverbial "goose egg" on them :). A college bound student needs to know the consequences of slacking and how hard it can be to retrench and pull out a decent grade. Students who don't intend to go to college have to understand that they are likely to encounter an employer or supervisor who will expect the job assigned to be done right and on time with no excuses. I'd give more grace to a 9th or 10th grade student who is struggling with the different facets of maturity. An 11th or 12th grade student might need some outsourcing or more definite consequences.

 

There are very good things about homeschooling and it was a mostly positive experience. However, my son would have benefited from a classical high school. He would have liked having more time to interact with his peers and academic competition would have helped motivate him. In some ways it's easier for a student who has definite career goals early on. Those who don't often struggle with motivation. :grouphug:

 

ETA: If you have a student who's not getting work done, sometimes even a little bit of positive motivation goes a long way. I-tunes or other gift cards, tickets to a special event or even some "comp time" if your budget doesn't allow for extras might be a reasonable reward for a job well done.

Edited October 3, 2011 by Martha in NM

[ilovemy4kids]

Thank you to all for your honesty and encouragement. After a night of tears, a morning of meltdowns and temper tantrums (not the kids...me) we are back at trying to get some work done. Had a nice long heart to heart with the kids.

 

Turns out my daughter who always says she wants to go to the same private school as her best friend, DOESN'T really want to go, she likes being homeschooled. She is my one who always says "I'm stupid" and things like that. This year has been worse. Turns out, it's just math that makes her feel "stupid". She is in Saxon alg 1/2 (did 8/7) last year, but wasn't ready for Alg 1 this year and she's in 8th grade. Also, she was feeling "stupid" because she really, really, really like Rod and Staff English, but we didn't continue with it this year. She did book 6 last year and we planned on book 7 for this year but have been so busy that we didn't pick it up and start. She was missing Rod and Staff, so we got out the new book and she did lesson 1. Now there are smiles. Weird kid.

 

Not even going to attempt to touch on the 10th grade son at the moment but I will later.

 

My husband refuses to let the kids go to school so there really isn't another option. I tried just quitting but it's a little impossible to ignore your kids all day when they are home and want to learn something. :)

 

Sandra

still dangling from the edge but not letting go of the rope yet

[LaurieM]

Any other homeschool moms who have just wanted to throw in the towel and say, "I can't do this anymore?" Just not able to keep on schedule, up with grading, things fall behind and you seriously believe they would get a better education at a private school where there is more structure and accountability and they'd learn to be more responsible for their own work? As a homeschool mom, if something doesn't get done, I don't feel I can just give an F/0 and move on...I still make the work get done and then we are further behind.

 

Pretty late to this conversation but here's my comments anyway! I'm glad things are looking brighter for you now!

 

Yes, I definitely had many moments like this. However we just kept moving forward. Sometimes it helps to just take a break and walk away from it all for a week or two. Even without the structure and accountability that I personally felt was lacking, I knew my sons were still getting a better education because it was custom-made to fit their strengths and weaknesses.

 

As for grading, I never gave a failed mark and moved on. I figured it was better to have them complete what was started and possibly readjust future assignments if necessary. We did discuss the downside of not meeting deadlines and how it would affect them if they were in a different educational environment. We also evaluated the why behind a late assignment. Was the assignment too much? Were necessary skills lacking? Do we need to adjust the assignment in some way? Do we need to get together and talk out the assignment in order to get started?

 

Honestly, I was afraid the missed deadlines would be a problem once ds was in college. He is now in his second year of college and has never missed a deadline. It seems to make a difference as to whether the assignment is for Mom or a professor. ;)

Edited October 7, 2011 by LaurieM
Oops! Didn't initially read all responses before I posted.

[Hope in God]

I feel this way too sometimes but then I remind myself why I am homeschooling. Really, in the end, accademics will come. A longish story...

 

I was a really poor student in high school. I just didn't care and so I failed math every year for a few years and had to take it in summer school every year. In summer school everybody passes as long as they show up so when I enrolled in first year university math there were some, er, gaps. My teacher was flabergasted that I didn't know how to calculate the perimeter of a rectangle. He kept on saying "PERI...METER- AROUND THE EDGE!!" and I thought okay so I have to know what this measures around the edge- but how do I figure that out (all of the sides were labled). You get the picture. It was a revelation to me that in algebra you could subtract or add the same number to both sides to balance an equasion. I had no idea. Anyway my math teacher told me that only 40% of the students who take this class pass and that I should drop out. I decided instead to take a math book out of the library and learn what I needed to know in order to pass the class. It was a lot of work but I was motivated and ended up with a B+.

 

Of course I probably could have done well in math all through high school but I was not motivated. I really feel that when students are motivated they will move mountains and learn things you never thought was possible but until then...grrr:glare:. Accademics will come when they are needed. It won't be the end of the world if my child suddenly decides on a career path only to discover that they have to upgrade and work hard for what they want.

 

I hope this takes some of the pressure off. Just because we homeschool doesn't mean we have to be flawless accademically. I would rather excel in realtionship with my kids and have them know how loved and precious they are to me.

 

Kinda reminds me of that kid in "Dead Poet's Society".

[angel marie]

oh yeah!!! i feel like this 2/3X week!!!

[5LittleMonkeys]

 

Just because we homeschool doesn't mean we have to be flawless accademically. I would rather excel in realtionship with my kids and have them know how loved and precious they are to me.

 

 

I really like this. Thank you for sharing.:D