Funny things I'm noticing this morning...while I'm stuck at this end of the table.

[Janice in NJ]

Working with ds right now. Note: I hate it when teens say, "Wha?"

 

Do you know what else I've noticed when I'm trying to teach and I find myself working MUCH harder than the kid? (The first clue is that I'm sitting laser-straight upright; very often, the kid is slumped. Duh to me, huh? Gotta learn to recognize that before it plants me on the path to ticked-off!) Anyway. When I finally realize I'm working much more than the kid, I start raising my voice. 2x, 3x, then 4x louder. Do you know why I do that? I'm looking for a response. Any response. And this morning I informed my son that even a reciprocal response would be MORE than adequate.

 

If I become twice as loud, then he needs to try 50% harder. Three times louder? Now he only needs to try 33.3% harder. Really, at that point, I will be MORE than happy. Yup! An inverse ratio: I work harder; he works less - still good.

 

"Really. That's all you have to give me to get me to hush UP and stop yelling."

 

I can actually be pushed SO close to the edge of insanity that even if I got to the point where my vocal chords are being damaged because I'm yelling 25X louder than a normal speaking voice - even at that point - I would be completely satisfied with a 4% increase in effort on his part.

 

How's that for deserving an award? Maybe I need a clunk on the head. Even if rewards are doled out with reciprocal scantness, I must be worthy of some chocolate.

 

:blink: Janice

[Teachin'Mine]

:lol:

 

Have some well deserved chocolate. :D

[swimmermom3]

Working with ds right now. Note: I hate it when teens say, "Wha?"

 

Do you know what else I've noticed when I'm trying to teach and I find myself working MUCH harder than the kid? (The first clue is that I'm sitting laser-straight upright; very often, the kid is slumped. Duh to me, huh? Gotta learn to recognize that before it plants me on the path to ticked-off!) Anyway. When I finally realize I'm working much more than the kid, I start raising my voice. 2x, 3x, then 4x louder. Do you know why I do that? I'm looking for a response. Any response. And this morning I informed my son that even a reciprocal response would be MORE than adequate.

 

If I become twice as loud, then he needs to try 50% harder. Three times louder? Now he only needs to try 33.3% harder. Really, at that point, I will be MORE than happy. Yup! An inverse ratio: I work harder; he works less - still good.

 

"Really. That's all you have to give me to get me to hush UP and stop yelling."

 

I can actually be pushed SO close to the edge of insanity that even if I got to the point where my vocal chords are being damaged because I'm yelling 25X louder than a normal speaking voice - even at that point - I would be completely satisfied with a 4% increase in effort on his part.

 

How's that for deserving an award? Maybe I need a clunk on the head. Even if rewards are doled out with reciprocal scantness, I must be worthy of some chocolate.

 

:blink: Janice

 

:lol: Just some chocolate? How about some wine to go with it? I have two teen boys for school this year. Often in the afternoon, I go downstairs, knock on my dd's bedroom door and then let myself in. "Oh Mom, stop whimpering. I take it the boys are only grunting again?" We then proceed to have an intelligent conversation using full sentences.

 

Yesterday's bellow was, "Son, if you were any less involved with that homework, you'd be declared dead...which you may be..."

 

:grouphug: Hang in there, Janice.:tongue_smilie:

[Mom22ns]

 

Yesterday's bellow was, "Son, if you were any less involved with that homework, you'd be declared dead...which you may be..."

 

 

:lol::lol:

 

Thank you ladies. This thread was just what I needed today.

 

I was trying to figure out what ds had done today because everything I asked him about wasn't done yet. I finally asked, "Well what have you been doing?:toetap05:" Turned out he couldn't find his schedule so instead of asking he just did the next thing he came to. Shows initiative right? Too bad it was an assignment I had skipped because it was a total waste of time! I think we were equally frustrated. Another hour wasted.

[Susan C.]

We had a day like that today..... maybe the stars are in weird alignment or something....

[GingerPoppy]

Working with ds right now. Note: I hate it when teens say, "Wha?"

 

Do you know what else I've noticed when I'm trying to teach and I find myself working MUCH harder than the kid? (The first clue is that I'm sitting laser-straight upright; very often, the kid is slumped. Duh to me, huh? Gotta learn to recognize that before it plants me on the path to ticked-off!) Anyway. When I finally realize I'm working much more than the kid, I start raising my voice. 2x, 3x, then 4x louder. Do you know why I do that? I'm looking for a response. Any response. And this morning I informed my son that even a reciprocal response would be MORE than adequate.

 

If I become twice as loud, then he needs to try 50% harder. Three times louder? Now he only needs to try 33.3% harder. Really, at that point, I will be MORE than happy. Yup! An inverse ratio: I work harder; he works less - still good.

 

"Really. That's all you have to give me to get me to hush UP and stop yelling."

 

I can actually be pushed SO close to the edge of insanity that even if I got to the point where my vocal chords are being damaged because I'm yelling 25X louder than a normal speaking voice - even at that point - I would be completely satisfied with a 4% increase in effort on his part.

 

How's that for deserving an award? Maybe I need a clunk on the head. Even if rewards are doled out with reciprocal scantness, I must be worthy of some chocolate.

 

:blink: Janice

 

AWESOME post. :D

 

I believe I am much the same way, but you've clarified it for me mathematically. So thank you!

 

:grouphug:

[Nan in Mass]

I sometimes wonder if I am going deaf. My son is always telling me that I don't need to shout at him when his head is a foot from mine. In my case, it isn't so much a matter of lack of any response as lack of the proper response. I totally totally sympathize with the stereotypical tourist who thinks that if he shouts loud enough, the foreigner will understand English.

Nan

[Sunshine State Sue]

Y'all are a hoot! :lol:

[swimmermom3]

I sometimes wonder if I am going deaf. My son is always telling me that I don't need to shout at him when his head is a foot from mine. In my case, it isn't so much a matter of lack of any response as lack of the proper response. I totally totally sympathize with the stereotypical tourist who thinks that if he shouts loud enough, the foreigner will understand English.

Nan

 

It is not even so much the lack of the proper response as it is that I then in turn model a really improper response in return for his lack of proper response, which puts me on his level, which is 13. Too bad my hair doesn't grow thicker and my wrinkles vanish as I behaviorally regress in age. By the time my tirade is over, he is looking at me with one eyebrow raised (hey, that is my condescending habit) and the unspoken "whatever" beats palpably through the air. If I still lived on a farm, I would rush from the house and immerse my head in the horse trough in order to cool down.:tongue_smilie:

[Stacie in UT]

Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I needed that laugh today.:lol:

[teacalm]

The funny thing is I'll go on and on how he doesn't apply himself that I don't notice that he's been giving me the right answers all along and I don't hear his answers. I ask, "what did you say"? Does it really take for me to get so worked up before he starts thinking harder that I do?

 

Ahhhhh, I don't know how long I can carry on like this. Yet, every morning, come start of the our school time, I'm carrying on as usual. I don't like to be the grown up.:(((

[angel marie]

oh, the things that go through my mind at the desk 2 feet away from my darling 9th grade son....some days he is buzzing away getting the work done (as long as i am in room keeping the momentum going), and other days i want to loose it and send him to boarding school. does he not know that my voice getting louder is directly proportional to his work effort and willingness to learn?? oh, and he likes to pull little tricks too like not being hungry at lunch then when time for lessons to crank back up he is starving, needs to go to bathroom, let cat in door, get the mail, answer the phone, you name it. some days i dream of the time when he is off at college and wonder what i will do with myself. i have been thinking about going back to school, but have been dreading taking the GRE and fear i would not do well since i had the info so long ago. then a thought struck me. why not wait 3 more years, then i'll be through highschool AGAIN and i can ACE the test!!!!! please know you are not ALONE and it's nice to know i am not either!!! ;)

[asta]

:lol: Just some chocolate? How about some wine to go with it? I have two teen boys for school this year. Often in the afternoon, I go downstairs, knock on my dd's bedroom door and then let myself in. "Oh Mom, stop whimpering. I take it the boys are only grunting again?" We then proceed to have an intelligent conversation using full sentences.

 

Yesterday's bellow was, "Son, if you were any less involved with that homework, you'd be declared dead...which you may be..."

 

:grouphug: Hang in there, Janice.:tongue_smilie:

 

And then.... and then.... I see the tiny earbud hanging out the side of his head that is turned away from me and I'm forced to say "what are you listening to?"

 

Um, the Doors?

 

Let me sleep all night in your, soul kitchen.... :lol::lol:

 

 

a

[Nan in Mass]

I know.

They say having kids keeps you young but I don't think this is what they had in mind.

[Nan in Mass]

I can't count how many times I've wanted to say, "I shout because you trained me to do." Mine has started to do the one ear thing. I LOVE it. I can actually get his attention without having to climb over piles of things on the floor and shake him.

[elegantlion]

:grouphug: chocolate and wine to all.

[Janice in NJ]

My family has trained me in a lot of habits I don't like. I'm trying to crawl out from under the stereotypes and regain even a shadow of my true personality.

 

I can't stop being stunned every time it comes up though. Really? You all think I like grousing while wiping up the kitchen counters for the bazzillionth time this morning. You think this flow of stilted onomatopoeia reflects my true personality?

 

I don't like to talk; I'm naturally an introvert.

I'm not naturally a complainer; I'm naturally a cup-half-full kinda gal.

I detest repetitive tasks. Detest!

Must I go on?

 

We need to study cause and effect more. In the insightful words of Inigo Montoya, "I do not think [that] means what you think it means."

 

Peace,

Janice

Edited September 21, 2011 by Janice in NJ

[Kfamily]

:grouphug: and chocolate and wine too...

 

:lol: We love that quote!

[Rhonda in TX]

... oh, and he likes to pull little tricks too like not being hungry at lunch then when time for lessons to crank back up he is starving, needs to go to bathroom, let cat in door, get the mail, answer the phone, you name it. ...

 

Oh my word, I can so relate. "It will only take a minute." ARGH!

 

I've been known to walk around the house, muttering, "must not kill the boy".

[Julie in MN]

Do you know what else I've noticed when I'm trying to teach and I find myself working MUCH harder than the kid?

 

Yeah, that's true with everything. You know -- teaching kids how to do laundry, teaching them to wipe off the counter... Easier to do it myself. Far less work for me to do it myself, whether it's algebra or mowing. One day ds will wake up & see me finishing up his essay that he never started, just cuz it's easier that way :tongue_smilie:

 

Sigh, and we continue to teach. Aren't we the definition of hope?

 

Julie

[EKS]

I read this post yesterday on my phone (and so didn't respond to it then), and it was *just* the think I needed at the time.

 

I'm so right there with you.

[Shelly in VA]

I SOOOO appreciate being able to pop in on these boards, and see my life well-articulated. While I wouldn't wish this frustration on anyone, it does, somehow, help me to take a deep breath and keep moving forward when I know that my situation and responses aren't atypical. ;)

 

Hope things are going relatively smoothly for everyone this morning!

 

Shelly

[memphispeg]

Y'all Stop! Stop! I'd like to think that I'm the only one who has these sorts of problems!!! I find that tossing a quiz or test at dd, if she is doing her "avoidance dance", and then taking the dawg out for a walk calms us both.....not that any more work REALLY gets done but, SOMETHING is moving forward.